Chapter 6 - Revelations

"Harry," a voice whispered into Harry's dreams. Harry opened his eyes groggily feeling disoriented. For several seconds he didn't know where he was. He raised his head and tried to stretch the crick out of his neck.

"Harry," the voice repeated. Harry turned in the chair he had been sitting in to face what turned out to be Ron.

"Ron," said Harry getting up. "When did you get here?"

"Only just now." The boys approached each other and briefly embraced. Then they both made there way to Hermione's side. Ron sat in the chair Harry had been occupying and Harry pulled up another one and set it near the head of the bed.

"She's so pale," said Ron with difficulty.

"I'm so sorry, Ron. I shouldn't have let this happen," said Harry in a hushed voice.

"What are you talking about, Harry. This isn't your fault. You did everything you could for her. You got her out of Hogwarts, away from Fudge."

"And I left you."

Ron rolled his eyes. "I knew you were going to get there eventually."

Harry hung his head unable to respond. Instead he looked at Hermione.

"You did what you had to," said Ron.

Harry shook his head.

"I would have done the same, Harry," said Ron evenly.

Harry looked up at his best friend with a new understanding, and a small bit of the pressure he had been carrying was lifted from his shoulders. He felt sure, for the first time, that there was at least one other person in the wizarding world that would give their life for her. They held each other's gaze for a moment and then simultaneously they looked down at Hermione's still frame.

"Ron," began Harry. "I've got to tell you something.

"What," asked Ron, not taking his eyes off Hermione.

"Dumbledore wants Hermione to study Occlumency with Snape."

Ron rolled his eyes. "Because it helped you so much," he said sarcastically.

"Yeah well," began Harry, ignoring the comment. "That's not all he wants."

"I'm listening," said Ron.

"He thinks she should be with Snape alone while she's being trained. They think she'll be safer away from me."

"That's insane."

"Ron, how can you say that. Look at her. This is happening to her because of me."

"We can't just let her go off alone with Snape," insisted Ron. "I don't understand. Why can't she just stay here and learn Occlumency."

Harry had no intention of filling Ron in on everything he had heard. "Just accept that she can't," he said impatiently. "I don't like this any more than you do, but we don't have a choice. When she wakes up, I'm going to tell her to go and you're going to back me up."

Ron raised his eyebrows at Harry, but didn't say anything. They sat together in silence for about ten more minutes.

"Harry, why don't you go and get some sleep. I'll sit with Hermione," said Ron after awhile.

"Nah, I'm ok," replied Harry.

"Mate, you're dead tired."

"I can't leave her," said Harry tiredly.

Ron rested his head wearily in one hand. "Do you ever wonder what it would be like to have a quiet life."

Harry smirked.

"Harry," began Ron hesitatingly. "Is there something you're not telling me?"

Harry looked at Ron steadily. "Like what?"

"Well, Hermione's going off with Snape and I'm heading back to Hogwarts tomorrow. What are you going to be doing?"

"I'll be staying here," Harry said simply.

"Doing what?"

"Stuff."

"What kind of stuff," asked Ron. "Come on, Harry. Spill it."

"I'll be training."

Ron waited for him to continue.

Harry sighed, "training to meet Voldemort."

Ron's eyes grew wide with anger and he opened his mouth to speak, but a third voice joined their conversation.

"Like hell," croaked Hermione.

"Hermione," said Harry and Ron together, jumping with shock.

Hermione tried to pull herself to a sitting position and Harry tried to force her back down. "Hermione, don't move." She fought feebly against both their hands trying to push her back to the bed, but was too weak to resist them.

"How are you feeling," asked Ron.

"You're both nuts," said Hermione thickly.

"How much did you hear?" Asked Harry.

"Enough," said Hermione. Ron glanced uneasily at Harry, but Harry decided to treat the whole thing nonchalantly.

"Good, then you know the plan," said Harry.

"If you think I'm going along with it, you've really lost your mind."

"Hermione," began Harry testily.

"Don't."

"Damn it, Hermione," shouted Harry losing his temper. "You are going along with the plan whether you like it or not. You could have died today. The both of you are getting as far away from me as possible."

Tears sprang to Hermione's eyes and Ron held her hand reassuringly. "It's for the best, Hermione," Ron said soothingly keeping his unspoken promise to Harry to back him up.

"How can you say that, Ron," cried Hermione. "He's going to kill him." She turned her head in Harry's direction. "And once he does, then what happens. You think Ron and I will be any better off once Voldemort finishes with you?"

"Thanks for the vote of confidence," said Harry.

"Oh stop it. Don't act like I've hurt your ego. You're seventeen. Grown, fully-trained Aurors have gone up against Voldemort and died."

"Yeah, well I've gone up against Voldemort more times than any other wizard alive and I'm still here."

Hermione continued crying and said more to herself than to the boys. "Why does it have to be you? Why does it always have to be you?"

Harry looked uncomfortably at Hermione, then at Ron, and back to Hermione. He had never told them about the prophecy. He had never shared that he had been predestined for this time since before he was born.

"Hermione," he said softly. "I'm asking you to please go."

She turned her head away from them both and continued to cry.

Harry sighed heavily. "Ron, stay here. I'm going to go tell Dumbledore that she's awake."

Ron nodded, too emotionally drained for speech.

Harry got up and left the room. He closed the door quietly behind him and when he turned he saw Mr. and Mrs. Weasley and Professor Lupin sitting and waiting. Mr. and Mrs. Weasley had fallen asleep, he had his arm around her and her head was tucked under his chin. Lupin however was sitting with his elbows on his knees and his head buried in his hands.

When Harry approached he looked up slowly. "She's awake," Harry said.

Lupin closed his eyes and breathed a sigh of relief and Harry was overcome with remorse over his selfishness.

"I'm really sorry, Professor," Harry said quietly.

Lupin stood and put his arms around Harry in a tight hug. "I really wish you would call me Remus."

Harry smiled, but grew serious almost immediately. He pulled away. "I was really awful to you, pro... Remus, and I'm sorry."

Lupin shook his head. "You're dealing with more than anyone you're age should ever have to deal with. You have nothing to be sorry about."

Harry didn't respond so Lupin continued. "I was just sitting here thinking about Sirius and wondering if you would be able to hold up to one more loss."

"Not if it was Hermione or Ron," he said before he thought what he was saying. Immediately he regretted admitting one of his deepest fears, a fear he had never shared with anyone. Lupin looked at him with concern. "I have to let Professor Dumbledore know she's awake," said Harry walking away.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

The joy around the house over Hermione's escape from injury was practically tangible. Mrs. Weasley set to work immediately preparing an appropriate feast. Members of the Order came by all day to see Hermione.

Tonks was one of the first to show up and in her usual style, she tried her best to liven the whole house. She spent at least one hour sitting with Hermione, Ron, and Harry, but a decided gloom had fallen over the three of them. Ron was the only one to attempt to appear amused. Eventually she gave up and left the three to their self imposed solitude.

Lupin and Tonks spoke briefly after she left them. "Harry seems to have picked up a few of my cousins more charming personality traits," said Tonks.

Lupin sighed. "He has gotten very withdrawn. I'm very concerned, but Dumbledore is sure that he'll snap out of it once he begins training."

"What about the other two?" She asked.

"I'm not sure," he responded.

"Ron seems to holding up ok, but Hermione..." she trailed off.

"She's been through a lot, Tonks."

"Oh, I know that. But it's more than the obvious. Remus, we've all seen these kids in dangerous situations before. They can handle themselves."

"They'll be fine, Tonks," said Lupin attempting a smile. "Why don't we go and help ourselves to some of the food Molly made."

"Remus," Tonks said grabbing his arm to prevent his retreat. "I'm telling you, Hermione is not doing well. If you ask me, they've nearly broken her."

Remus stared unblinking into Tonks' serious eyes. "I'll go talk to her," he conceded.

He immediately turned and went to the room Hermione was now occupying. He knocked softly.

"Come in," called Ron.

Lupin entered and was a bit disheartened to see what he saw. The three of them were all in there, but it was as if none of them was aware of the other two people in the room. Harry was leaning up against the wall staring without seeing anything. Hermione was tucked up in bed on her side wide-awake and Ron was sitting near her playing with the frayed end of his robe.

"Hey, Professor," said Ron.

"Hello Ron," returned Lupin. "Um boys, why don't you go downstairs and get something to eat."

Ron looked at Harry, but it was as if he hadn't heard a word. "We're ok. Not really hungry," said Ron smiling weakly.

"Your mom made a lot of food and you both need to eat," said Lupin. "Go eat and then bring back a tray for Hermione. She shouldn't be getting up yet."

Ron stood and made his way toward the door. He waited and looked pointedly at Harry. Harry glanced from Ron to Lupin to Hermione. Hermione stared blankly back and Harry pushed himself off the wall and joined Ron wordlessly.

After they had left, Lupin turned to Hermione. "How are you feeling," he asked.

She didn't meet his gaze. "I'm ok. I'm not in any pain."

"That's not what I meant," Lupin smiled. Hermione didn't respond. "Hermione," he began seriously. "You cannot give in to despair. If you do, Voldemort wins."

"He's already won," she said in an emotionless voice.

"No, he hasn't," Lupin insisted placing a hand on her shoulder. She flinched at his touch and he removed his hand hastily.

After a while of silence Hermione spoke. "You know what he's planning. Are you going to let him do it?"

Lupin looked away uncomfortably. "Hermione," he said hesitatingly.

For the first time Hermione looked at Lupin, "Sirius would find a way to keep him out of this."

Lupin closed his eyes feeling as if she had physically slapped him. "It's a bit more complicated than I think you realize."

"More complicated than you and Dumbledore putting Harry into some kind of training so he can be ready to fight Voldemort?"

Lupin didn't respond.

"There's no point in denying it. He admitted it. He said that while Ron goes back to school and you guys ship me off somewhere with Snape, he'll be training. He can't very well train himself."

"Yes, Hermione but..."

"No buts. How could Dumbledore even consider this?" Hermione's eyes filled with tears of frustration. "Why? Why does it always have to be him?"

"I think that's something you need to discuss with Harry."

Hermione looked up at him questioningly. "Why?"

"Hermione..." Lupin couldn't finish. He had seen the look in her eyes before. Hermione was beginning to work things out in her mind.

Lupin stood hastily before he gave anything more up, though he had barely said anything. It never took much information to get Hermione rolling. "I'm going to go. Will you be ok?"

"Yeah," said Hermione distractedly.

"Hermione, talk to Harry, please," Lupin begged one last time before leaving the room.

Hermione watched him leave knowing that he knew more than he had shared. She pulled back the covers and swung her feet over the bed. She stood quickly and immediately had to reach out for support. Her head was still woozy and she wasn't sure if it was from her fall or the repeated assaults on her mind by Voldemort.

She took a deep breath and reached for her robe, which was lying across the headboard. She pulled the robe around her and left the room quietly.

Just outside the room she stopped and listened. It sounded as if everyone was downstairs. She tiptoed as quietly as possible across the upstairs hallway.

As was the case everywhere she went Hermione had found the library almost immediately on her last visit. The Black's library was chock full of books on the Dark Arts.

When she reached the library she immediately pulled four large tomes from the shelf and settled herself on the carpet. The first book was titled the Rise of the Dark Arts in Great Britain. She immediately went to the index and looked up all references to Voldemort. She tried to look up concurring references to Harry, but it appeared that the book had been written before Harry had been born.

She carefully set that book aside and opened the next, but it didn't contain anything helpful either. Neither did the next two she had pulled down. She pushed the books aside in frustration and got up. She made her way over to the large black desk in the corner of the room. There were various papers scattered over the top. Hermione glanced without touching them. Then she started opening and closing various drawers.

The last draw she opened was empty except for a solitary black book. She pulled the book out and flipped it open in the middle. It appeared to be a journal, kept by a person with a very untidy scrawl. Hermione read a few sentences. Being here is like being ten years old all over again. I feel as if the walls are closing in around me and I know I'm going to suffocate if I don't get out soon.

Hermione flipped through a few more pages and continued reading. Dumbledore insisted I stay behind while Moony went and collected Harry. It is about time he was brought. I've been telling Dumbledore that something like this was bound to happen. If the Dementors had gotten to him I would have never forgiven myself.

Hermione gasped with the realization that she was reading Sirius's private journal. She knew she should not be reading it. Even if Sirius was gone, this was still an invasion of his privacy, but her curiosity spurred her on.

At least he'll be safe here. The Ministry is trying to expel him, but I know eventually he'll be back at Hogwarts and then I'll breathe easy. Although he'll never truly be safe, as Dumbledore so often reminds me. No matter how vigilant we all are, we cannot prevent what is his destiny. I only hope I can delay the inevitable long enough for him to...

"Hermione, what are you doing?"

Hermione looked up guiltily to see Harry and Ron staring at her from the doorway. She tried to tuck the journal away, but it was too late.

"What's that you've got there?" Asked Harry.