"I'm making the wall inside my heart
I don't wanna let my emotions get out
It scares me to look at the world"

~~~~~Hatori~~~~~

It had been years ago, since I had seen such a thing. Shigure and I had been Haru's age. Akito was much younger. I had a tutor, named Seka. I was the smartest child at the time, and I was receiving advanced studies from her in biology. Shigure and I had been close friends. Too close most likely, to the point where Shigure thought we were something I knew we truly weren't. Unfortunately Shigure wasn't the only to think his way. Akito made a rare blunder by mistakenly thinking we were also together.

He pulled me to his room one day, telling me I was his, he owned me. That it had better stay that way. That he noticed my straying from him. Akito ordered me to tell Shigure to live at his uncle's house. I obeyed out of fear for myself and my best friend. Shigure in turn accused me of being with Seka instead of him. I wasn't.

I had lost Shigure, my friend was gone. Akito watched me like a hawk, he still noticed my distance from him. It was him taking my friend away that made me avoid him. But now his gaze of contempt settled on Seka, an innocent bystander of hellfire. His jealousy rose and he killed her. Cold blooded murder.

Shigure understood then, that it hadn't been her. That Akito had caused the rift between friendships.

I could've paid him back, let him be tried for murder. Instead I used my power to protect him. Shigure's memory, the family's, both Seka's and my own I erased. Save Akito and myself, no one knew she had ever been to the Sohma house.

I never could bring myself to be close to Shigure like we had before. We were never lovers, but some bonds are not repairable…

~~~~~Haru~~~~~~

I sat on my knees before Akito, as I was commanded. I looked straight at him, like always. The difference this time was I didn't believe I was above him.

"Hatsuharu… my dear sweet Haru… You've surprised me," Akito's words cooed softly, "I underestimated you. This didn't turn out at all like I planned. It's better."

He came closer to me. One wicked hand rested itself upon my knee, supporting his emaciated weight. The other hand slithered up and caressed my cheek.

"Dear Haru…. I thank you. You put such a powerful twist to my plan that I never dreamed of…." He whispered in the seductive tone he carried while on victory, "He loved you Haru… now you've damned yourself, he can never love a murderer…"

I squeezed my eyes shut. So that was the game. Akito had split us up, it wasn't Yuki. Now I understood that day in the park, Yuki's tears, the pain he must have felt. And all of it was to protect me. I had once believed Akito never had any real power, how naïve that was.

He removed his hand and I gazed Akito straight in the eye, "Good, because I'm not going to be around for him to love, and I don't want him to be pained."
            "What do you mean? You are not going to prison. I have Hatori already out taking care of memories for that… even the cat's memory is to be erased so he doesn't turn you in. Yuki simply won't turn you in, he couldn't bring himself to the task," he smirked at me.

I smiled and stood up. My eyes had fallen upon something I hadn't expected in the room. A silver letter opener, ornamented with birds. I remembered that seemed decades ago that it had been decorated with my loves blood. I picked up the opener, which Akito no doubt had sharpened, for it was more dagger like than need be. "I don't plan to live and cause Yuki the pain of dealing with me. Farewell."

The door to Akito's room opened and Yuki stormed in, "NO!"

Before I could carry out my plans Yuki had raced across the room and stole the weapon from me. He then cast it to the floor.

Akito surprisingly looked at Yuki in approval, "thank you Yuki… it would be much too easy for Haru to get out of his guilt that easy. Sit down the both of you."

Yuki still feared Akito, his eyes told the story as he sat down. I followed and sat next to him. Akito's sneer was upon us.

"I see you dare to show care in front of me… Even though I demand you break it. Fine. You care, and it will hurt you," his sadistic smile made him more monster like. "Yuki, you best prevent Haru from turning himself in, or committing suicide. You will pay otherwise."

Akito had set a checkmate with that, he knew I wouldn't do anything to myself if Yuki was punished for it.

Yuki nodded, a shaky motion from his terror laden body. I reached over and grabbed his hand, a move of pure stupidity I was willing to defend with my life.

Akito's eyes burned, but he said nothing on the matter, "You Haru… For you I have… special punishments. You will live in the same house as Yuki. You will sleep in that girl's old room. In her very bed. You may not change anything in there."

My face paled, I could feel it, "what?"

"You understood me. If I find out you haven't been… and I will… The consequences…." his finger trailed down Yuki's lips to his neck, then down his chest, "will be great… Be gone with you now."

~~~~~~Yuki~~~~~~

Two months had passed since Tohru had died, and misery still was thick in the air. Haru held to his punishment, sleeping and staying in her room, not changing anything. He had even removed the rug I had thrown over the spot in the floor that stained. He didn't even go to school anymore. He only left the room to eat and go to the bathroom. He just sat there, staring at the ceiling, or the floor. His mind was a mystery to me now. Whatever that mystery was, it was killing him.

Everyday I tried to coax him out, even if it was just out of his mental shell if not the room. It made me sick to enter the room, but I'd bear it. I always sat next to him, and wrapped an arm around him, or held his hand. He'd pull away, or just sit oblivious to my presence. I don't know what hurt worse, his rejection, or his disregard for me. Today was no different.

Haru sat on the bed, staring at the wall. Guilt made him a zombie, ate all the deep sweet emotion and life from him. I sat next to him, and wrapped my arm around him, today was one of the oblivious days, he ignored my presence. I buried my head on his shoulder, I hadn't cried in months, just like him, but it was getting harder everyday.

 "Please talk to me. Let me help you. I'm still here, I always will be, but I need you to talk, respond, do something," I whispered.
            He responded, his voice weak from barely talking in two months, "Yuki, it'd be best if you stayed away from me. I've only caused you grief. I'm not worth being alive, but I will because it'll keep you safe if Akito has me for a toy. So go before Akito twists you over me again."

I stared at him, stood up, my arm sliding off him slowly. I didn't utter a word as I left the room, hugging my arms to my side. I went downstairs, and pulled my coat on. I started to open the door when Kyou shouted out to me.

"Hey, where you going?" He asked, swishing the milk carton he held in his hand annoyingly.

I rolled my eyes, "To see Hatori, baka neko."

"Fine! Hey, is that cow still all sick? What the hell is wrong with him anyway?" He asked, truly not knowing, Hatori had taken care of that.

"I don't know," I said quietly, "I've told you that every time, I don't know, lay off you jerk."

He growled, "Hey! Just because you want to screw him and he doesn't want you to isn't my fault!"

I turned around and faster than he could blink my foot connected with his head, flooring him. He stood up growling, ready to attack. I really didn't want to fight, but it was inevitable. As I was preparing to knock him on his ass again, Shigure came in the room and gave me a sympathetic look.

"Kyou-kun, don't pick on Yuki about Haru, ok? You don't really need more of a reason to humiliate yourself by having him beat you, you do that well enough on your own!" He giggled out and gave me a slight wink before Kyou turned on him, ranting.

I was grateful, Shigure had saved me from something I didn't want to discuss. I nodded to him, a silent thanks. I opened the door and walked down the front path. I was heading to the man who had caused Kyou the relief of a clean memory. It was now my turn to get relief, once and for all. All the memories would be gone, the sweet summer days of Haru and I would be gone, the memory of Tohru, the memory of Tohru's death would be gone. The pain would be gone, and my mind could rest easier than before.

                        ~~~~~Hatori~~~~~

I sat at my desk and the phone rang. I picked it up, wondering who was calling to say they were sick now.

"Hello?"

"Hiiiii! Guess who!" Shigure's voice called out in his sing song voice.

I sighed, wondering why he called now. He usually had a purpose, but could never help but to mess around. That was a favorite and a hated aspect of my friend.

"Shigure, what do you want?" I asked monotonously.

"Awe, you're no fun… actually I call on serious matters," He said, his voice not as playful as before, "Yuki's coming to see you."

I drummed my fingers on the desk, "So? Is his asthma acting up?"

"Tori-san… don't be ridiculous, you know this is bigger beans than asthma."

I sighed, my smart ass mind wanting to say asthma was pretty big beans, but I resisted. "What is it then? Something about Haru I presume?"

There was a moment of silence, "I guess you could say it is about Haru… I think he's coming to ask the question. You know what one I mean."

I shut my eyes, knowing very well what he meant, and I didn't like it. "Ok Shigure, I understand. I must be going now."

"Alright, but Hatori, I wish to say this, you may consider granting Yuki's request. The mind is fragile, and it has been shattered in this case. You know how to repair it."

"Goodbye Shigure," I hung the phone up, and brushed my hair back, it returning to its position immediately. I sighed; it was going against Akito, but what could be done. No mind deserved what was being dealt to Haru or Yuki's.