This chapter is dedicated to Yuki The Rat, who wrote me a nice enough email to inspire me to get my butt on here and write this chapter ^_^ check out Yuki's stories, they're truly great.

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"Where have you gone my love, my friend?
Somewhere without the rain, I feel afraid now I feel alone
Will we meet again?

Can you recall what we once knew?
Somewhere without the pain, I feel afraid now, but not alone

We will meet again"

~~~~Yuki~~~~

I walked to Hatori's house, playing in my brain what I would say. I would have my plans carried out. Hatori wouldn't like it, and I knew it, but he had to in this situation. I made it to his door and knocked. The stony faced doctor opened the door and didn't seem the least bit surprised to see me, "Hello Yuki, please come in, its cold out."

I entered the room, removing my shoes and hanging my coat on a rack near the door. I looked at Hatori, I wanted to get this over and done with, I wasn't feeling well enough for idle chit-chat. I heard Hatori click the door shut behind me. He must have read me loud and clear. He wandered into his office and sat in his chair. I seated myself and before I could talk he asked the million dollar question.

"Why are you here Yuki?"

I stared straight ahead, not looking at anything. Now was the time to spit out the words that would keep him safe forever.

"I want you to erase Haru's memory," I stated bluntly.

Hatori's eyes narrowed a little, though he had been expecting something else. He sighed a little and brought his hand to the bridge of his nose, "Yuki… Why… You know Akito ordered against it."

I choked, tears had welled in the back of my eyes, and they yearned to escape. I gulped and stared at him, "Remember Kana? How she tore herself up? You saved her Hatori, I ask you to save Haru. I would if I could but I can't. I'm useless to him now. I can ask for this… as the final gift. It's less than he deserves, but what can I do Hatori?"

Hatori sat for a moment, silent. He nodded a little, and said quietly, "Alright. I will do this for you, because I hate seeing you and Haru like this. I will free you both from your pain, you need and deserve it."

"What? No you misunderstood me Hatori," I blinked a little realizing he thought I meant both of us, "My memory… the memories of Haru and I will stay intact in my mind. I want you to only erase Haru's."

A confused eye was what met me, "What? You deserve it too, I really must contend, you shouldn't deal with the pain alone, it isn't fair. It eats at you every day. You have no idea." He trailed off, and I knew he was talking of himself.

"Hatori, this is my punishment. I hurt my love, I was weak. That weakness destroyed a lovely mind, and killed an innocent girl. I deserve this, and I don't want to forget, ever. I want Haru to start fresh, and then I can fix things… I know what I'm doing Hatori, trust me," I told him, never more sure of myself. I stood up, ready to leave, "Please… can you come over tonight? Around 7 o'clock?"

Hatori stood up and paused in front of me. He placed his hand on my shoulder, and whispered quietly, and I sensed the bitter sound of sorrow in his voice, "I'm sorry Yuki, that you ever had to go through this."

I nodded, and turned to leave, taking that as my yes.

~~~~Haru~~~~

I buried my head in a pillow, I smelled her scent. I stared at the wall and my eyes drifted to carnage stains upon the floor and my mind. I walked to the other parts of the house, a dreary feeling of something missing met me. Shigure's eyes would still not greet mine. I knew Hatori hadn't taken his memory. I wish he had, but I guess I deserved the punishment.

Yuki kept trying to talk to me, comfort me. I hated it. I shouldn't be blessed with his presence. I had only caused him grief, I just wished I could die, or be sent to prison. Damn Akito for doing this, his torture was the most painful anyone could deal. I wish the cops had been smart enough to find her, not actually believe the cock-and-bull story that was fed to them by Hatori. I wrapped my arms tight around my sides, when the door opened for the first time in hours. Yuki had returned.

He crossed the room and sat by my side, wrapping his arm around me. I held still, it was a guilty comfort for me, but I felt a slight bit happy he was there. I stayed silent, allowing him to cling to me. He whispered little things to me, I knew he was just trying to get me to forgive myself, I'd never do it. Never. But still, for the moment, I would revel in Yuki's soft arms around me and his gentle voice on my mind.

~~~~Yuki~~~~

I wandered around town, knowing Haru wouldn't allow me to sit in his room for hours on end. I walked in the park, saw the bench that fateful day that had started this all. I passed the tree so long ago Haru had spied on me, saw me writing a poem. I had never been much of a poet, but I still owned that poem. I reached into my wallet, where I had kept it safe for years. I sat below the tree, it had been a favorite spot for Haru and me for years. I pulled the fragile paper out of my wallet and unfolded it.

"Gentle eyes and mind and mouth

Set upon a perfect face

Forbidden love, I'd never trick you

You think it's me who's saved thee

More like you have saved me

Haru-kun, you've set the bait

You're a mousetrap for this rat

I'll be your prince Yuki,

if you give me the sign"

I grimaced slightly, it was truly terrible writing, but it had always made me smile. It still did, but now it was a sad smile, accompanied by watery eyes. I folded the paper replacing it in my wallet. I then rested my head on my knees, killing time, my enemy and savior.

*                       *                       *

I returned to Shigure's house and retreated to Haru's room. I sat on the bed next to the vacant boy knowing soon this would be over. It killed and satisfied me. He would be happy, but those days we had spent so long together would be gone. I held Haru, and he just sat there. I was glad he didn't deter me. I needed to hold him now, one last time while he remembered everything. I didn't speak; there was nothing I could say to him. It was 6:30, every minute we were closer to losing everything. Those memories, so precious to me, and once precious to the one I shared them with would be gone from him. The memories were left to rot alone in my mind. I would forever cherish and mourn them.

It was ticking closer to seven. I squeezed Haru a little tighter, and felt a tear slide down my cheek. The tear was for the day we met at the window, the nights camping in the backyard, the days in the park, the laughing at school. The little clay cow and rat.

I heard a knock from below, and the door opening and soft murmuring voices. I clung to Haru tighter, this was it. I gently stroked his hair, and stared up at him.

"Haru… please, look at me one last time," I whispered, my voice begging.

I saw his blank stare stop and turn to me, a tad confused, "What?"

"I just want to tell you, I will always love you… and I don't blame you." I said quietly wishing I could tell him to never forget it, " And I'm sorry. I won't ever forget what we have. You won't have to worry anymore Haru, it's all going to be ok."

He continued to stare at me mystified, when the door to the room opened. Hatori walked in. I saw Haru's eyes widen, in fear for a moment. His gaze turned to me, his eyes watering. He broke into tears.

He knew my plans now, and he lay in my arms sobbing. I held onto him, telling him it was all going to be ok. He slowed his tears. He turned to face Hatori, who could've been the most fearsome devil or the most benevolent god to him at this moment, I knew not which. Hatori looked to the ground, waiting for us to say when.

We both slid to sit on the ground, Haru sat between my legs, his back leaning against my chest. He held my hand, and whispered, "I'm sorry Yuki. And thank you… but please, don't forget me. I love you."

I nodded a little and kissed the top of his head. "You've always been forgiven… and thank you, for teaching me so much," I gripped his hand tightly, "You'll never be alone."

 Hatori kept his eyes from us, I knew they were wet. He kneeled down quietly, not looking either of us in the eyes as he placed a hand on Haru's forehead, "I'm sorry Haru."

~~~~Haru~~~~

The moment Hatori walked in the room I felt forgiven, by everyone. It wasn't fair, I was getting off without punishment, but no one cared. I was scared, and realized my sweet memories of Yuki and I would be gone. I also realized, Yuki would be keeping his memories, I knew him too well. He would never allow them to be taken from him. They would hurt him, unless he could make new ones, which I prayed he would. I whispered to him, "I'm sorry Yuki. And thank you… but please, don't forget me. I love you." They were the truest words spoken, and a plea to start anew.

 My heart pounded as Hatori put his hand to my forehead. He whispered his apologies to me, for what I know not.

"I'm sorry Haru…"

It felt though a sledge hammer hit me in the head, and memories of Yuki, the day by the window, him soothing my worries of a lost gerbil, the memory of the little clay cow and rat, the memory of that day by the tree. The sweet day that we confessed, the day that in essence, saved and damned us. The day I ran in and defied Akito, and cried outside the door fearing for his life. The face he wore when he came to see me covered in gore, his soft embrace and kind words minutes before. All of them ran through my head.

I slammed back into Yuki, and I remembered no more.

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I'm sorry, I had to do it, I'm bawling all over too *shares tissues* I believe the next chapter may be the last one unless something really weird happens and there is a creative upheaval by the muses. Please read and review.