Hey people, this is my first fanfic, so please, no flames or I will have to use my extinguisher to beat you round the head and then put the fire out. Ok? Good. Please read and review guys!
Disclaimer: I'm sure you people know the drill. I do not own anything Tolkien, but the plot is all my own. (……there is no exact plot as yet, but this story is my own, just with the great man's characters)
"Fonz! Fonz!"
A voice echoed across the Tookland hills, clear and light, and very worried. A second voice rang out, and it was clear this hobbit was not worried for the miscreant.
" Hildifons Took! I f you don't get your behind out from wherever you are hiding, I swear you will rue the day you were born into this family!"
Hildifons Took giggled, half out of fright and half out of excitement, visualising the search for him now underway.
"Half the family will be out", he thought, "including the Tortoise Trio".
H e giggled again, wondering how his older brothers were doing trying to find him, and stifled a laugh as one of them walked past, in a huff and clearly not in the mood for 'Hunt the Hildifons'. He peered out between the tangled branches at Isumbras, a fair-sized hobbit for his age, whose curly brown hair was now scattered over his eyes, which were now sparkling with anger and frustration. Isumbras stopped at the top of the low hill breathing heavily and red-faced, then threw his hands up in a gesture of defeat and walked back to the Smials at a leisurely pace. Hildifons held his breath for a while. Isumbras often played this trick on him, turning away as if he'd given up, then snatching at him when he crawled out of whatever hole he was hiding in. This time, his hole was an abandoned maze of rabbit tunnels, partly collapsed at the front, and very handily given a complete covering by the prickly gorse bush that had taken over half the hill.
Isumbras disappeared into the clump of trees at the base of the next rise, and emerged again on the other side, walking to the top and waving to an unseen someone on the other side. Hildifons guessed that the someone was one of the other Trio, and tensed up even more, putting his face as close as he allowed himself to the sharp branches to get a squint at the 'enemy', as he thought. Belladonna appeared, looking tiny even from this distance, and seemed to be shaking her head at her older brother. Hildifons sagged back against the musty, sandy wall, letting out his breath by the quivering lungful, and smiling in satisfaction at the knowledge that he, warrior elf of Tookland, had once again cheated his enemy of his quarry.
"They'll never catch me. Hah! As if they could catch the Great Dragon-slayer himself, Killer of Orc Legions, Master of Mirkwood!"
His clenched fist held an imaginary sword, and slashed its way through unseen foes, who of course all died instantly and begging for mercy, leaving him as the victor of a bloody field of combat, in which all humbled themselves to his mighty, yet compassionate presence.
"Fonz? Where are you, oh mighty one?"
His sister's voice called out to him, worried, relieved and jesting in equal measures, breaking him out of his reverie instantly.
"Here Bella"
He looked out cautiously before pushing the curtain of gorse aside a little, and scrambled out quickly, before being dragged down the hill unceremoniously, and being engulfed in a stream of rebukes, worried scoldings and sighs.
"Sometimes I wonder why I was born after you, I certainly have more sense than you do, you imaginative little twit"
"At least I have an imagination"
" Don't get smart with me Fonz, the only reason I didn't give you up to 'Umbras there and then was because you've already had a beating this week for something you didn't do, so you might as well go unpunished for something you did do"
He snorted with laughter as his brother's shocked and furious face came back to haunt him. Bella halted abruptly and grabbed him by the lapels of his soiled waistcoat, pulling him down to her level.
"Will you stop it?!? This…..tit-for-tat game is going too far now, and sooner or later there'll be an all out confrontation between you and the others if you're not careful. You know you can't take them all on at once and win, and believe me, they're starting to realise that."
Hildifons stopped laughing at once, and for the first time that morning looked apprehensive.
"What do you mean?"
Bella sighed with decreasing frustration.
"I mean they're realising that the only way to beat you is to put their pride away and band together. You know all the new hiding places, and the tricks you come up with actually scare them sometimes, they're so unpredictable."
He twisted his mouth with a mixture of pride and anxiousness, and began to chew his lip thoughtfully. Bella let go with a breath, and looked at him concernedly.
"You know, that imagination of yours could get you far, into those tales you spin out of nowhere if you want, but all you do is play tricks on us all."
"I know. I wasn't planning on doing anything after Dad's birthday, but they decided it would be funny to half-drown me in the Brandywine for no reason at all! If Marmadoc hadn't dragged me out, I'd be food for the fishes."
He avoided her steady gaze for a while, pulling threads out of his already dilapidated waistcoat, then looked at her pleadingly.
"Tell me what to do Bella. I don't want them to do anything to me again"
Bella looked thoughtful and frowned, then brightened up.
"You're going to go to Hildigrim and apologise for sending Rosa Baggins that note about his supposed escapades with the others and the sheep. Then you are going to apologise to Rosa. Then you are going to prostrate yourself before Isengrim and say sorry for getting the pig to run at the ladder when he was on it. Finally, you will do whatever they ask of you, short of willingly being beaten. And you will not say anything about Isembard's part, because you were leading him on and you know it."
She cut off his outraged protests, nearly poking out his eye with her finger, but softened slightly as she looked at his now downtrodden yet defiant face.
"You'll do this in front of Father so he can see you're sorry. And you are sorry, or you will be."
"I will be if I do what you say. I'll never live it down! The great elf-warrior of Tookland, begging for forgiveness….huh, not likely"
Bella could have tugged out his hair for being so damned stupid, but held herself back, and instead contented herself with flexing her fingers slowly.
"This isn't going to be you begging for forgiveness you idiot! This is you making the others less mad than they already are at you so they won't be so tempted to take revenge! Besides, if you tell them I got you to do it, they'll be less suspicious. And Father will be fair, you know that."
Hildifons looked chastised, then lifted his head and hugged her.
"You should be 18, Bella, not me"
She hugged him back, then let go and grinned, revealing an innocence that had been hidden by her former nagging.
"I know. I should be immature, not you. Funny how life works out."
He sighed tiredly, worrying about how to get back to the Smials without being seen. Once inside the labyrinth of corridors, windows, trapdoors and rooms that made up the Took home, he was safe, but his brothers were sure to have a scouting party of their friends looking for him. A rumbling, creaking, clopping mass of noise gradually reached his ears, and he whipped his head round, looking like a startled hare. An old man in a pointy hat and cloak with a staff was driving a cart towards the Smials, carrying bundles that were covered with a cloth, and singing a song of far away. He adjusted the unsmoking pipe in his mouth, then shifted on the cart, revealing to Hildifons a flash of what to him looked like a long sword. Bella gaped for a moment, then ran after Hildifons as he raced towards the man, whose cart was receding over the hill.
She could only catch snippets of what her brother was gasping under his excited breath, "ride with him…avoid….get into Smials….oh no, they wouldn't dare…not with him!"
They got ahead of the cart and waved at Gandalf frantically as he gradually stopped. For Gandalf it was, and he seemed to know what they (or at least Hildifons), had in mind.
"Well now, my young hobbits, you seem in great hurry to ride with me."
He smiled at Hildifons, who was trying to catch his breath, and who managed to gasp out,
"How….did?"
Gandalf laughed softly as he looked at them, and pointed out a group of hobbits coming towards them from the Smials.
"Your brothers seem to be in a great hurry to meet you Master Hildifons, and I don't think it is because you have done them a great service."
He surveyed them again, and laughed as both young ones looked at him imploringly.
"Very well, you two, get onboard now, and be careful of the presents please."
They clambered onto the cart beside him gratefully as the other hobbits began to come up the rise, and as they moved forward with a slight jolt, waved at them merrily, leaving Isengrim and others unable to do anything but look on in fury and wonder.
Disclaimer: I'm sure you people know the drill. I do not own anything Tolkien, but the plot is all my own. (……there is no exact plot as yet, but this story is my own, just with the great man's characters)
"Fonz! Fonz!"
A voice echoed across the Tookland hills, clear and light, and very worried. A second voice rang out, and it was clear this hobbit was not worried for the miscreant.
" Hildifons Took! I f you don't get your behind out from wherever you are hiding, I swear you will rue the day you were born into this family!"
Hildifons Took giggled, half out of fright and half out of excitement, visualising the search for him now underway.
"Half the family will be out", he thought, "including the Tortoise Trio".
H e giggled again, wondering how his older brothers were doing trying to find him, and stifled a laugh as one of them walked past, in a huff and clearly not in the mood for 'Hunt the Hildifons'. He peered out between the tangled branches at Isumbras, a fair-sized hobbit for his age, whose curly brown hair was now scattered over his eyes, which were now sparkling with anger and frustration. Isumbras stopped at the top of the low hill breathing heavily and red-faced, then threw his hands up in a gesture of defeat and walked back to the Smials at a leisurely pace. Hildifons held his breath for a while. Isumbras often played this trick on him, turning away as if he'd given up, then snatching at him when he crawled out of whatever hole he was hiding in. This time, his hole was an abandoned maze of rabbit tunnels, partly collapsed at the front, and very handily given a complete covering by the prickly gorse bush that had taken over half the hill.
Isumbras disappeared into the clump of trees at the base of the next rise, and emerged again on the other side, walking to the top and waving to an unseen someone on the other side. Hildifons guessed that the someone was one of the other Trio, and tensed up even more, putting his face as close as he allowed himself to the sharp branches to get a squint at the 'enemy', as he thought. Belladonna appeared, looking tiny even from this distance, and seemed to be shaking her head at her older brother. Hildifons sagged back against the musty, sandy wall, letting out his breath by the quivering lungful, and smiling in satisfaction at the knowledge that he, warrior elf of Tookland, had once again cheated his enemy of his quarry.
"They'll never catch me. Hah! As if they could catch the Great Dragon-slayer himself, Killer of Orc Legions, Master of Mirkwood!"
His clenched fist held an imaginary sword, and slashed its way through unseen foes, who of course all died instantly and begging for mercy, leaving him as the victor of a bloody field of combat, in which all humbled themselves to his mighty, yet compassionate presence.
"Fonz? Where are you, oh mighty one?"
His sister's voice called out to him, worried, relieved and jesting in equal measures, breaking him out of his reverie instantly.
"Here Bella"
He looked out cautiously before pushing the curtain of gorse aside a little, and scrambled out quickly, before being dragged down the hill unceremoniously, and being engulfed in a stream of rebukes, worried scoldings and sighs.
"Sometimes I wonder why I was born after you, I certainly have more sense than you do, you imaginative little twit"
"At least I have an imagination"
" Don't get smart with me Fonz, the only reason I didn't give you up to 'Umbras there and then was because you've already had a beating this week for something you didn't do, so you might as well go unpunished for something you did do"
He snorted with laughter as his brother's shocked and furious face came back to haunt him. Bella halted abruptly and grabbed him by the lapels of his soiled waistcoat, pulling him down to her level.
"Will you stop it?!? This…..tit-for-tat game is going too far now, and sooner or later there'll be an all out confrontation between you and the others if you're not careful. You know you can't take them all on at once and win, and believe me, they're starting to realise that."
Hildifons stopped laughing at once, and for the first time that morning looked apprehensive.
"What do you mean?"
Bella sighed with decreasing frustration.
"I mean they're realising that the only way to beat you is to put their pride away and band together. You know all the new hiding places, and the tricks you come up with actually scare them sometimes, they're so unpredictable."
He twisted his mouth with a mixture of pride and anxiousness, and began to chew his lip thoughtfully. Bella let go with a breath, and looked at him concernedly.
"You know, that imagination of yours could get you far, into those tales you spin out of nowhere if you want, but all you do is play tricks on us all."
"I know. I wasn't planning on doing anything after Dad's birthday, but they decided it would be funny to half-drown me in the Brandywine for no reason at all! If Marmadoc hadn't dragged me out, I'd be food for the fishes."
He avoided her steady gaze for a while, pulling threads out of his already dilapidated waistcoat, then looked at her pleadingly.
"Tell me what to do Bella. I don't want them to do anything to me again"
Bella looked thoughtful and frowned, then brightened up.
"You're going to go to Hildigrim and apologise for sending Rosa Baggins that note about his supposed escapades with the others and the sheep. Then you are going to apologise to Rosa. Then you are going to prostrate yourself before Isengrim and say sorry for getting the pig to run at the ladder when he was on it. Finally, you will do whatever they ask of you, short of willingly being beaten. And you will not say anything about Isembard's part, because you were leading him on and you know it."
She cut off his outraged protests, nearly poking out his eye with her finger, but softened slightly as she looked at his now downtrodden yet defiant face.
"You'll do this in front of Father so he can see you're sorry. And you are sorry, or you will be."
"I will be if I do what you say. I'll never live it down! The great elf-warrior of Tookland, begging for forgiveness….huh, not likely"
Bella could have tugged out his hair for being so damned stupid, but held herself back, and instead contented herself with flexing her fingers slowly.
"This isn't going to be you begging for forgiveness you idiot! This is you making the others less mad than they already are at you so they won't be so tempted to take revenge! Besides, if you tell them I got you to do it, they'll be less suspicious. And Father will be fair, you know that."
Hildifons looked chastised, then lifted his head and hugged her.
"You should be 18, Bella, not me"
She hugged him back, then let go and grinned, revealing an innocence that had been hidden by her former nagging.
"I know. I should be immature, not you. Funny how life works out."
He sighed tiredly, worrying about how to get back to the Smials without being seen. Once inside the labyrinth of corridors, windows, trapdoors and rooms that made up the Took home, he was safe, but his brothers were sure to have a scouting party of their friends looking for him. A rumbling, creaking, clopping mass of noise gradually reached his ears, and he whipped his head round, looking like a startled hare. An old man in a pointy hat and cloak with a staff was driving a cart towards the Smials, carrying bundles that were covered with a cloth, and singing a song of far away. He adjusted the unsmoking pipe in his mouth, then shifted on the cart, revealing to Hildifons a flash of what to him looked like a long sword. Bella gaped for a moment, then ran after Hildifons as he raced towards the man, whose cart was receding over the hill.
She could only catch snippets of what her brother was gasping under his excited breath, "ride with him…avoid….get into Smials….oh no, they wouldn't dare…not with him!"
They got ahead of the cart and waved at Gandalf frantically as he gradually stopped. For Gandalf it was, and he seemed to know what they (or at least Hildifons), had in mind.
"Well now, my young hobbits, you seem in great hurry to ride with me."
He smiled at Hildifons, who was trying to catch his breath, and who managed to gasp out,
"How….did?"
Gandalf laughed softly as he looked at them, and pointed out a group of hobbits coming towards them from the Smials.
"Your brothers seem to be in a great hurry to meet you Master Hildifons, and I don't think it is because you have done them a great service."
He surveyed them again, and laughed as both young ones looked at him imploringly.
"Very well, you two, get onboard now, and be careful of the presents please."
They clambered onto the cart beside him gratefully as the other hobbits began to come up the rise, and as they moved forward with a slight jolt, waved at them merrily, leaving Isengrim and others unable to do anything but look on in fury and wonder.
