Chapter 11 - Occlumency Lessons

Harry and Hermione were determined to make the most of their remaining week together. Remus had begun Harry's training regimen and he allowed Hermione to join them. They both knew they were receiving training no Hogwarts student had ever dreamed of getting.

When they weren't training, they spent their day talking, studying, and generally enjoying each other's company and every night falling asleep in each other's arms.

Remus never stopped smiling and even Moody could be seen cracking a smile from time to time. The last time the house had been this full of happiness and energy was the Christmas of their fifth year.

On the evening of the fifth day, the four housemates were all in the kitchen preparing dinner together. Remus and Moody were telling stories about the original Order and Harry and Hermione were listening intently, both looking forward to graduation, when they too could join the Order and start to make a difference.

As they were preparing to sit down at the table and eat, they all heard a noise from just outside the kitchen. Harry and Hermione looked up at Remus and Moody. Moody laughed. "There's no need to look so worried," he said getting up. "I'll go see who's here. Remus, you may want to set another place."

Moody returned almost immediately, the smile wiped from his face. Following him in was Professor Snape.

Harry felt his stomach drop and he looked sharply to Hermione.

"Severus," said Remus in mild surprise. "What brings you here?"

"Miss Granger, actually," said Snape curtly.

"We weren't expecting you for two more days," said Remus casually.

"I realize that. I've come to check on how things are going, to make sure Granger is not having any more incursions on her mind."

Hermione looked at Harry. Neither of them had told anyone of the almost nightly visions she was having.

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"Hermione wake up," said Harry shaking her shoulder.

"No," whimpered Hermione.

"Hermione," said Harry.

Her eyes opened widely and she sat straight up. Instantly Harry put an arm around her and drew her close. She relaxed against his shoulder breathing deeply.

"Not again," she whispered.

"Yeah," he muttered. "What was it this time?"

As she did every night, Hermione shook her head refusing to tell him.

"Why won't you tell me?"

"Because it isn't real," she insisted. "He's messing with me and I won't let him mess with you too."

"Do you really think that this doesn't affect me too?"

"No, I know it does." Hermione leaned back and looked sadly into his eyes. "I'll go back to sleeping in my room if you want."

Harry turned away from her, hurt. "It's up to you."

"No, don't do this."

"Do what?"

"Shut down. I don't want to tell you because it won't help anyone."

"Let me help you get through this, Hermione. I love you."

"You love me?"

Harry ran a hand over her hair. "You didn't know?"

Hermione smiled to herself and shrugged. "I wasn't sure."

Harry leaned over and kissed her softly. "Well I do."

Hermione placed a hand on either side of his head and kissed him again. "I do to," she whispered.

She leaned back and Harry covered her body kissing her lips, her neck, and every other part of her he could reach. Hermione was very close to losing herself in the feelings and sensations Harry was drawing from her.

"Harry, wait," whispered Hermione.

He pulled back and moved to the end of the bed, sitting on the edge.

Hermione sat up and watched him.

"Every time I get close to you, you pull away," muttered Harry. "Why?"

"I'm just not ready," began Hermione. "I think that we should be careful."

"I'm not trying to pressure you, Hermione."

"I know and you're not. It's just that I don't want us to do something that we might regret later."

Harry nodded. Hermione inched down to the end of the bed and wrapped her arms around his waist and rested her chin on his shoulder. "I trust you completely. I just don't trust myself. I've never felt this way before and I don't want to mess it up."

Harry turned and smiled at her. "I don't either." He leaned forward so that their foreheads were touching.

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"I think it's safe to say from your faces, that they haven't," said Snape.

Remus looked at Hermione and Harry with some shock on his face. "You didn't say anything," he said in a hurt voice.

"We didn't want anyone to worry," Hermione said apologetically.

"It appears Dumbledore was right, as usual," said Snape in his usual arrogant voice. "He thought you might be needing my assistance, but I argued that Lupin or Moody would be sure to contact us if anything was wrong."

Snape seemed oblivious to the fact that four pairs of eyes were narrowed in his direction.

"We were just about to sit down to dinner, Severus," began Remus. "Why don't you join us."

"I'm afraid I don't have the time. Granger, join me upstairs."

Hermione stood and Harry did the same.

"Potter, you can stay here," snarled Snape.

Harry took out a page from his Godfather's book. "Actually, this is my house and I'll go where I please."

Snape advanced on Harry, but Hermione stepped in between the two of them. "It's ok, Harry. Eat. I'll be back."

Before he could argue with her, Hermione swept from the room followed by Professor Snape.

She led him upstairs into a private room and started pushing furniture against the wall. Snape stood watching her.

"We're going to need room," said Hermione. "Could you help me with this," she said picking up one end of a small desk. Snape walked forward and helped her with the few remaining items.

Then they stood staring at each other.

"I assume you're here to give me my first Occlumency lesson," said Hermione.

"I am," said Snape simply drawing out his wand. "I assume you've already read up on the fundamentals."

"Yes," returned Hermione.

"Good," said Snape. "Take out your wand then."

Hermione drew her wand hesitatingly. "Uh, sir."

Snape lowered his wand. "Yes," he asked somewhat impatiently.

"I understand the concepts, but I'm not exactly sure how to stop you from..." Hermione shrugged.

"From," prompted Snape.

"From pulling thoughts from my mind."

"It requires force of mind. You need to shut down your emotions. Once I start pulling memories from you, you need to shut down the feelings associated with those memories and thereby deny me access to them. You have been doing this at night, as I instructed you to."

Hermione looked down at the floor uncomfortably.

"Perhaps you enjoy the attention these visions are getting you," said Snape coldly.

"Why don't we just start," said Hermione through gritted teeth.

Snape nodded his head once and raised his wand. Hermione did the same.

"Clear your mind now and get ready," said Snape.

Hermione gripped her wand tighter and braced herself.

"Legilimens," cried Snape.

Instantly her mind swam with thoughts. She was ten and a spotted brown owl was dropping a letter in front of her... She was on the Hogwarts express and seeing Harry and Ron for the first time... She was clutching to the back of Harry on the hippogriff Buckbeak flying up the castle wall...

"Stop," screamed Hermione and she felt herself falling backwards. She rubbed her back with one hand, where she had landed, and looked up. Snape was leaning over her with one hand stretch out.

She took it and hoisted herself up. "What happened," she asked.

"You wasted energy by screaming. You need to focus and shut down your emotions.

"I'm trying," insisted Hermione. "It was just a bit overwhelming."

"No excuses," snapped Snape. "Get ready."

She took a deep breath and raised her wand.

"Legilimens."

Again Hermione was flooded with various images. She was at the Yule Ball and Harry was seeing her for the first time... She was in Umbridge's office and Umbridge was about to perform an unforgivable curse on Harry... Harry was leaning over her and kissing her.

"Expelliarmus," Hermione shouted.

Immediately the wand flew from Snape's hand and clattered a few feet from Hermione's feet. She doubled over and put her hands on her knees.

"You're letting me get in too far," said Snape striding over and snatching his wand up."

"I disarmed you," she said pointedly.

Snape through an angry look at her and raised his wand. "Ready?"

Hermione stood straight and wiped the sweat off her forehead. After a few seconds, she raised her wand and nodded.

"Legilimens."

For the third time, the room dissolved around her and she began seeing her memories clear as day. She was in a DA meeting watching Harry help Cho... She was watching Harry fall fifty feet off his broom... She was watching Harry grapple on the floor with a Death Eater... She was sitting over Harry while he lay in a hospital bed... She was seeing Voldemort raise his wand and perform the killing curse on Harry.

Hermione crumbled to the ground whimpering. Snape, who had lifted the curse on his own, walked over towards her.

"Where did that memory come from? As far as I know, Harry is safe and sound and as arrogant as ever, right downstairs."

"Shut up," Hermione shouted from the floor.

"Is this what the Dark Lord has been feeding you?"

"I said shut up."

"Get up, Granger."

"Leave me alone," she shouted.

"Get up," insisted Snape.

"That's enough!" Hermione and Snape turned and saw Harry striding over to them. "What happened? What did you do to her?"

"Get out, Potter," hissed Snape. "We are not finished."

"Oh yes you are," said Harry kneeling by Hermione and feeling her forehead. She was clammy to the touch. "Can you get up," he asked her softly.

She nodded and put her arms around his neck. He stood lifting them both and she held on to keep her balance.

"We're not finished, Potter. And you're interfering."

"You are finished. They let you fiddle around with my head and it didn't help anyone. I'm not going to let you do the same to her."

"It didn't help you because you were too stubborn and arrogant to do as you were told," said Snape sharply.

Harry turned. "And you were too angry and bitter to look past your envy over my father and godfather and do your job."

Snape raised his wand and instantly Harry whipped his out. "It's been a long time since I was afraid of you, Snape."

"Harry," said Hermione weakly.

"It's ok, Hermione. We're going." Harry guided her out the room. "Let's go upstairs. You need to rest."

She nodded and let him help her up the stairs, though now that she was out of the confines of the room, her head was clearing and she was beginning to feel a little steadier.

Harry led her to a bed and she got in. "I feel better now," she sighed.

"No you don't," said Harry. "Can't lie to me. I've been through this before."

Hermione took a deep breath and closed her eyes.

Harry pulled over a chair and sat next to her until he was sure she was asleep.

"Harry?" Remus cracked open the door and stuck his head in. "Can I talk to you a minute?"

Harry looked from Remus back to Hermione. "Uh sure." He stood and joined Remus outside.

"What's up," asked Harry.

"Severus is gone."

"Good."

"Harry," said Remus warningly. "You cannot interfere with Snape teaching Hermione Occulumency."

"Teaching," spat Harry. "Like he taught me."

"I'm not arguing with you, Harry. The two of you have been hiding things from Moody and I all week. How can we help either of you if you refuse to be honest with us?"

Harry looked down uncomfortably. "We didn't think it was necessary?"

"You didn't think it was necessary? Voldemort is forcing Hermione to experience your death nightly and you don't think it's necessary."

"What?" Said Harry. "He's what?"

Remus took a deep breath. "You mean you didn't know?"

"No," rejected Harry. "She's been having some nightmares at night, but she's ok. I'm always with her. I take care of her."

"You can't take care of this. For better or worse and whether you like it or not, Snape can help her."

Harry turned away running frustrated hands through his hair.

"He's going back to Dumbledore to recommend that they speed things along," said Remus quietly.

"What does that mean?"

"It means that they're leaving tomorrow."

"Harry!" The scream ripped through the house. Harry was inside her room in less than a second, followed by Remus.

Hermione was sitting up in bed. Her face was completely devoid of color.

"I'm here," said Harry going to her. He sat next to her and she wrapped her arms around him in a tight hug.

"Where were you? Why did you leave?"

"I'm sorry. I'm here now. It's ok," said Harry murmuring reassurances in her ear.

Harry glanced up at Remus. "This is helping?"

"Harry," began Remus.

Harry gritted his teeth and shook his head. "Just get out."

A look of hurt flashed across his face, but he backed away and left the room.

Eventually Hermione went back to sleep. Harry stayed up watching her all night, a million thoughts flying around in his head. It was time, he knew, to fulfill his destiny. Voldemort was never going to leave him, and by extension her, alone, not until one of them was dead.

Around sunset Harry left the room. He knew she would sleep for at least another hour and he would be back before she woke up.

Outside the room, Remus was waiting.

Harry looked at him in surprise. "Have you been up all night?"

Remus nodded, tiredly. "You?"

"Yeah," said Harry.

"How's she doing," asked Remus nodding at the room.

"She's sleeping. She usually sleeps through after." Harry looked down uncomfortably. "Look, Remus. I'm sorry about last night. I guess I was just upset. I mean, it's not an excuse or anything, but..."

"Forget it, Harry," said Remus quickly.

"When's he coming?"

Remus sighed. "At nine."

"Nine?" Exclaimed Harry, looking at his watch. "That's less than three hours."

"I know, I'm sorry."

"I haven't even told Hermione yet."

"You might as well let her sleep a little more. She'll be up soon enough."

Harry shook his head in frustration. "Are you sure she'll be safe with him?"

"As safe as she would be here," said Remus simply.

"Then why can't she stay here?"

"Because, the two of you are hindering each other's progress. Hermione will not be able to learn Occlumency with you around and you are not going to be able to advance in your training with her around."

"Why?"

"Because, what Hermione needs to do is block you out of her mind. And she certainly can't do that if she's sleeping with you every night."

Harry turned red. "We're not doing anything."

"You're sharing each other's bed. Even if nothing physical is going on, you're still being intimate with each other and you better believe that Voldemort is using that against her. Her feelings for you are strong and open and it's giving him easy access." Remus gripped Harry's sagging shoulders and forced him to look up at him. "Why is it, do you think, that he can reach her and not just any wizard. It's because of her connection to you. And you are connected to him. She needs to learn how to break that connection."

Harry nodded. "I understand," he said softly.

"That's not all, Harry," Remus said a little more tenderly. "We're also going to have to start to teach you things. Things of a more sensitive nature."

"The unforgivable curses," stated Harry plainly.

"That's right. And in order to learn them, you're going to have to tap into a part of yourself that you're not going to want her to see. Trust me, it's better this way."

Harry nodded. "I better go back and sit with her. I don't want her to wake up alone."

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By nine o'clock, Hermione was up and ready to go. There had been no crying or pleading when he told her of the change in plans. In fact, she accepted the news with unusual ease. She was more like Hermione than she had been in a month.

During the week, some of their things had been brought over from Hogwarts. Harry helped Hermione put the things in a bag and then she performed a simple charm to make the bag weightless.

They were sitting quietly together in the kitchen when Snape arrived.

"Ready," he asked curtly.

"Yes, professor. I'll be right there." Said Hermione, standing.

Snape left the room and Harry stood and went to Hermione. He gathered her in his arms and held her tight.

"I can do this," said Hermione sighing.

"Hmm?"

"Leave. I can leave."

Harry held her tighter, biting down on his bottom lip to prevent himself from asking her to stay.

Hermione took a deep breath. "Ok. I'm going." She pulled away from Harry. She got all the way to the door before turning and rushing back to his arms. "I love you," she whispered, wrapping her arms around his neck.

Harry smiled and cupped her face in his hands. "Years from now, no matter what happens, I will remember this week as one of the most beautiful of my life."

Tears rolled down the sides of Hermione's face. "And I will remember this week as the week I fell in love with my best friend."

Harry leaned down and kissed her gently. "Go," he said quietly.

Hermione nodded. "I'll see you soon."

"Very soon." He watched her walk to the door and open it. "I love you," he called out.

"I love you too," she whispered and then she was gone.