Regrets
Disclaimer: You know the drill, I own no one, they own themselves and Vince owns the WWE
A/N : Sorry this chapter was so long in coming but, between finals, Christmas, moving and starting back to school, there wasn't a whole lot of time to write. But things have settled down now and updates should be quicker now. Also, for this story Joanie's second Playboy appearance takes place in March of 2003 instead January of 2002. No Torrie Wilson Playboy shoot. Now on to the story . . .
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For the most part things were going great for Joanie, the twins where getting bigger and stronger every day, even though they were still small for their age, she was very successful in Japan, her acting career was really starting to take off, and she had even done another shoot for Playboy. The only small problem seemed to be Sean. Even though he said he was happy for all the success Joanie was having, she could sense that he was somewhat jealous. His wrestling career was doing fine, but he wasn't the big "main" event guy that he wanted to be. Every time that Joanie tried to talk to him about it he would just brush her off. And, tell her she was just imagining things. This of course started to put a strain on their relationship, and Joanie was glad when she had to go back to the States, to do a promotional tour for her newest Playboy pictorial, and also to start pre-production on a new movie. Joanie hadn't been to the back to the States for almost 6 months, and didn't know about all the things that were going on in the WWE. She didn't know that Paul and Stephanie had broken up or that Paul wasn't himself anymore. He hadn't been himself since he had seen that article on Joanie and Sean in PWI.
The four months since Paul had seen that article and got reacquainted with Jack Daniels and Jim Bean had been difficult. He withdrew from all his friends and kept to himself. The only thing that really kept him going was wrestling, but even that was starting to suffer. He had a good two month feud with Shawn over the World Title, the only draw back was that he got hurt in the first ever Elimination Chamber match at Survivor Series, but he healed. After his feud with Shawn ended he went into one with Scott Steiner, that one was okay, but not up to is usual standards. By this time people had started to notice the changes in Paul, and tried to talk to him about them, but he would just brush them off and go back to his hotel room to be alone. He was so withdrawn that JR was concerned and decided to talk to him.
"Hey, Paul," JR said, as he saw Paul sitting by himself in catering instead of with all his friends. "Can I talk to you in my office for a minute?"
Paul looked up at him with a blank expression on his face, then instead of answering, he only nodded his head and followed him to his office. When they reached JR's makeshift office for that night Paul sat down, and didn't say a thing, waiting for JR to talk.
"What's up Paul?"
"What do you mean?"
"I mean you haven't been yourself for months now. I want to know what is bothering you."
"Nothing. I'm fine"
"No, you're not. I've known you for years now, and I've never seen you like this before. You've pulled away from your friends, you're quiet, and keep to yourself all the time. That's not like you. You're usually the life of the party and always talking, now you don't even sit with your friends in catering."
Paul didn't say anything. He just sat there with a sullen look on his face.
"Talk to me Paul. I'm your friend and I'm concerned about you. Is this about Stephanie and her upcoming marriage?"
"Hell, No," Paul scoffed. "The best thing that ever happened to me was when she broke off our engagement," Paul said adamantly. This was the most life and emotion he had shown in awhile.
"Okay, if this doesn't have any thing to do with Stephanie. Then what does it have to do with?"
Paul was quiet again, trying to decide if he should talk to JR about what was bothering him. He had kept it inside for so long, that he really did need to get it out. JR was surprised when Paul started to talk, he had been quiet for so long that he just assumed he wasn't going to talk.
"It's about Joanie. That's what's been bothering me."
"What about Joanie?" JR asked. Puzzled by Paul's comment.
"She's engaged to Sean Waltman and they have twins."
"Well good for them," JR said, before he noticed the look on Paul's face.
"No, it's not good for them. She's not supposed to be with him, she supposed to be with me. And, those shouldn't be their kids, they should be ours. We should be together now," he cried.
JR just sat there with a stunned look on his face, waiting for Paul to continue, because he didn't know what to say to Paul's outburst.
"The worst mistake of my life was when I broke up with Joanie to be with Stephanie. It was because of that they we're not together right now, raising our baby. If only I had known that Joanie was carrying my child I would never have broken up with her."
"You and Joanie have a child together?" JR asked, even more confused now.
"No, we don't. The day that Joanie found out about me and Stephanie was also the day she found out she was pregnant. She left without telling me, and when I finally tracked her down a few weeks later, she had terminated the pregnancy. I was really hurt and I left, I tried to convince myself that I hated her, and it seemed to be working until I saw her in Nashville, and all the old feelings came rushing back. But, I couldn't do anything right away because Stephanie was with me. So after we got back to the hotel and she was taking a nap, I left to try and track down Joanie to see if she still felt for me what I felt for her. But, I couldn't find her and when I got back to the hotel, Steph said Joanie's sister called and she wanted me to leave her alone. That was when I proposed to Stephanie and you now the rest," he finished.
"That's why you didn't want to do that fake pregnancy angle last year," JR said.
"Yeah, it just it way to close to home."
"You should have said something. We could have changed the angle if we knew why you were objecting to it."
"No, I couldn't have said anything because that would have meant that Stephanie and everyone would have found out, and I didn't want people to know. I still don't want people to know, but it's been eating me up inside, ever since I found out about Joanie and Sean, and I just had to tell someone."
"Well, I'm glad that I could be that someone. If you still love her that much, why don't you try and talk to her?"
"No, I can't do that. It's obvious that whatever feelings Joanie had for me, are long since dead. She's moved on with her life. She's with Sean now, and obviously they are very happy together because they are planning to get married and are the parents of 10 month old twins. I had my chance with her and I blew it. I let the best thing that ever happened to me slip away, and I have no one to blame but myself," with that said, Paul left JR's office.
After his talk with JR, Paul actually started to feel a little bit better. He didn't exactly return to his old self, but he was less withdrawn and made more of an effort to talk with his friends. But, he still didn't tell them what was going on with him. As Wrestlemania drew closer, Paul was somewhat excited. He wasn't in the main event like last year's but he was wrestling Booker T and he had formed a new faction with Ric Flair, one of the greatest wrestlers of all time, and two new up and coming young studs, Randy Orton and Dave Batista, called Evolution. Paul won is match at Wrestlemania, but was disappointed because it didn't go off as they planned. There were a couple of blown spots and everything just seemed kind of sluggish. But, he was happy for Shawn though. His match with against Chris, stole the show. It was by far the best match of the night, even better than the Lesnar/Angle match. Everyone on the Raw Roster was glad that Raw was staying in Seattle, so they didn't have to travel, that night. The next day at Raw was very hectic, because Goldberg was debuting that night and even though, him and Paul had some history, he was glad for the chance to work with someone new. When Paul got to the arena he noticed a bunch of guys standing around looking at a magazine, he didn't really pay them any mind as he went to his dressing room, but couldn't help but over hear bits and pieces of their conversations.
"Damn, she looks good," Rob said.
"I know," Said Jay.
"I'd hit that," Drew commented.
"Can you believe she's had kids?" Tommy asked.
From their comments Paul figured they were probably looking at Playboy or something similar. As he entered the dressing room he would be using for that night, he noticed Shawn and Kevin already there and they were just as engrossed in a magazine as the other guys had been. Shawn and Kevin were so busy looking at the magazine that they didn't hear or notice Paul enter and were startled when they heard him speak.
"What are guys looking at?"
"Nothing," they both said at the same time, as Kevin tried to hide the magazine behind his back. He didn't know if Paul knew about Joanie posing for Playboy again, and didn't want to be the one to tell him, because of the way he acted the last time he saw Joanie in a magazine. And, that time she had been fully clothed.
"If it's nothing, then why are you trying to hide it behind your back?" He asked.
"UH," Kevin tried to come up with something to say.
"That's what I thought," Paul said. "Let me see?"
"I don't that think that would be a good idea," Shawn stated.
"Why?"
"Well, because," Shawn said at a loss for words.
"I'm waiting."
"I just don't," he said.
"Not good enough."
"Damn it, Paul. We're just trying to protect you."
"Why would you be trying to protect me?"
"Because of they way you reacted the last time you saw Joanie in a magazine?"
At that statement, Paul got very still. "Is there something bad about her in that magazine."
"It depends," Shawn said.
"On what?"
"On who's looking at the magazine. Most would think it was a good thing, but you might not."
"Well, let me be the judge of that for myself," he said, as he held his hand out for the magazine.
Kevin reluctantly handed over the magazine and watched the expression on Paul's face as he looked at Joanie on the cover of Playboy.
God, she looks so beautiful, he thought to himself. As pride swelled in his heart for her, because he knew how hard she worked on her body and he loved to see her show it off. But, along with that pride, also came jealousy. He didn't want other guys looking at her, ogling her, making comments. And that's when it dawned on him that this is what all those other guys must have been talking about. He wanted to kill them, but knew he couldn't, because Joanie was no longer his, she belonged to someone else.
A/N 2: I know this chapter sucks but it was the best I could come up with for now, but I promise the rest will be good, and to have another chapter if not two out by Saturday. This I swear on my Wrestlemania XX tickets. Also, I promise to have more of Joanie and the first meeting between Paul and Joanie in over a year. Please read and review, the muses need to be fed. Until next time. ; )
