Honesty
Disclaimer : You know the drill, I own no one, they own themselves and Vince owns the WWE
A/N : Thanks to everyone who has reviewed so far, *hugs4u* lots and lots of chocolate, and teddy bears, big fluffy teddy bears. Thank you. Also, I heard this song by Sevendust, and it just seem to fit with the story and characters so well, in addition the title of the song is the same as the chapter.
// It's not supposed to hurt this much, but in the end it can never feel the same again
I'm left with nothing but the memory of the way you used to feel //
// I guess you finally took the deepest cut, I guess the blade on my tongue was just too
much, Every word that I said came from my dark side, now this emptiness is real //
// You reach beneath the surface more..........//
// So go and leave me with my last regret, Let me feel the way you left me dead
To blind to see......you stole my honesty, So go and leave me with my last regret
Let me feel the way you left me dead, go and steal away by thoughts of honesty//
// I think about the time we've lost, I think about the time the silence could be words
And now the only sound I hear, is the sound of my guilty conscience screaming out
your name, You reach beneath the surface more..........//
// So go and leave me with my last regret, Let me feel the way you left me dead
To blind to see......you stole my honesty, So go and leave me with my last regret
Let me feel the way you left me dead, go and steal away by thoughts of honesty//
//Take back everything I said, A new place for us to begin
Take back everything...........Take back everything........
Take back everything I said//
// So go and leave me with my last regret, Let me feel the way you left me dead
To blind to see......you stole my honesty, So go and leave me with my last regret
Let me feel the way you left me dead, go and steal away by thoughts of honesty//
****************************************************
Joanie heard Paul say her name, but that was all he got to say before she rushed forward, and into his arms. He let go of the door and dropped the letter to hold Joanie.
"I'm sorry Paul. I didn't know where else to go. My sister is out of town, the movie is on a hiatus and I couldn't take the twins back to the apartment after what happened. I had no other place to go, so I came here, because I knew that you could protect me and the twins," Joanie babbled on. Finally stopping only to draw a breath.
"Shh, Joanie. Its okay baby, I won't let anything happen to you and the twins. You're safe now," Paul said as he wrapped his arms around Joanie and lightly rubbed her back.
"I know I shouldn't have come," she was cut off by Paul's fingers on her lips.
"Joanie, this is exactly where you should be. Always," he said as his lips replaced his fingers. Caught of guard by the unexpectedness of the kiss, she didn't respond at first. But soon, she was, moaning, her pleasure, at this feeling that had been denied to her so long. The small moan allowed Paul to deepen the kiss, like he had dreamed of doing for so long. They lost themselves in the wonder of rediscovering each others tastes that they were oblivious to everything around them until one of the twins started to cry. This immediately broke them apart.
"Oh my god," Joanie gasped. "I can't believe I forgot about the twins," she said as she rushed to quiet Tommy before he woke up his sister. Joanie picked up Tommy and cradled him to her chest, soothing the crying toddler.
"Shh, its okay sweetie. Mommies here now."
"Mama, me cold," the little boy said. Paul, who had just been standing there, reacted to those words.
"Joanie, take Tommy inside while I get the stroller and Jessie," he instructed. Joanie walked into the house and immediately stopped at the destruction that created her eyes. Everything was in shambles. At the sound of Paul closing the front door Joanie turned and looked at him.
"What happened here? Were you robbed?"
"What?" He asked. He had forgotten, what the house looked like, after his mad search for the missing letter.
"The house, why is it like this?"
"Oh, I was looking for something," he said distractedly. His focus wasn't on the room around him, but it was on Joanie. Or more specifically, Tommy. Whom she was still holding. This was the first look Paul had ever gotten of the little boy, since he had been asleep in New York. Tommy looked a lot like Joanie. He had her dark hair and eyes, but there was something about the face. Just then Jessie woke up and started crying. Before Joanie could make her way over to the stroller, Paul was already bending over and picking up Jessie. She instantly stopped crying when he held her. Two sets of identical blue eyes stared at each other. Jessie reached one of her little hands up and touched Paul's face, before giving him a smile. This brought a smile too Paul's face and tears to Joanie's eyes.
"No cry, Mama," Tommy said. "Me make better," he said as he kissed her.
"Joanie?" Paul questioned.
"I'm okay."
Before he could respond, Jessie laid her head down on Paul's chest, next to his heart and closed her eyes. Tommy was doing the same thing to Joanie. This overwhelmed Paul and instantly brought tears to his eyes. Joanie saw this and even more tears came to her eyes. Paul had been deprived simple little things like this with the twins, because of her. She didn't know how, but she would find a way to make it up to him, if it was the last thing she did.
"Paul, is there somewhere, we can lay the twins down at?" She asked hesitantly. Not wanting to over step her bounds and just walk to one of the guest rooms.
"Joanie, you know where everything's at. Nothings changed," he said. "I've been waiting for you to come back," he added under his breath.
"What?"
"I said we can put them in the room in the back."
"Oh, okay," she said and made her way down the hallway to the small guest room downstairs. She was surprised to find it exactly the same way as before she left. Even though Paul said nothing had changed, she didn't believe him. She thought for sure Steph would have gotten rid of every trace of her the first chance she got. After Joanie got Tommy settled, she went to take Jessie from Paul but he shook her off.
"Let me do it," he said. He gently laid Jessie down beside Tommy and stared at them for a few minutes. This was the first time that he was seeing the twins side by side and even though it hadn't been confirmed yet, he knew in his heart that he was their father. Leaning down, he quietly whispered, "Daddy loves you," before kissing each baby good night. When he turned around, he noticed that Joanie was no longer in the room, so he put some pillows around the babies, so they wouldn't fall off the bed, turned off the light and went to look for Joanie. He found her sitting on the couch in the den, with her head down
"Joanie, what's wrong?" He asked as he sat down next to her and tried to put his arm round her, but she pulled away and stood up.
She just shook her head and turned her back on him. Millions of thoughts and emotions assailing her. Paul thinking that she was trying to come up with another lie to tell him about the twins got angry. He got up from the couch and walked over to stand in front of her and forced her to look at him. He wanted to see her eyes when he asked his next question.
"Joanie, I now I asked you this the last time we saw each other in New York, but this time I want the truth. How old are the twins?"
"They're 18 months old," she said quietly.
This stunned Paul, even though he thought himself prepared to hear this, it threw him for a loop.
"They are mine aren't they. I'm their father. You bitch, how could you keep this from me."
"What do you mean, how could I keep this from you? You knew."
"Bullshit, I knew. You told me you had gotten an abortion. Why Joanie? Why would you say that, if it weren't true?"
"I was hurting, and I wanted to hurt you like you hurt me."
"So you lied about having an abortion."
"I thought that, that was why you tracked me down. I thought you were coming to tell me you wanted me to terminate the pregnancy, and so I beat you to the punch by letting you think I had already done that. But after you left, I realized what a horrible mistake I had made, and ran out to try and stop you from leaving but you were already gone. I tried your cell but only got the voicemail. I called repeatedly over the next few days, but again only got your voicemail."
"Yeah, it was turned off at first because I didn't want to talk to anyone, then because I got injured," he recalled.
"Well, I didn't know that at the time, and I didn't feel like that was something I should tell you in a voice message, so I wrote you a letter telling you the truth." At the mention of the letter Paul remembered that he had dropped it when he opened the door to Joanie earlier. He raced out of the room and to the front door, where the forgotten letter still lay. He picked it up and went back into the room. "This letter?" He asked. Showing her, the unopened letter in his hand.
At the sight of the unopened letter Joanie let out a gasp and all the color drained from her face. It was true then, he hadn't known. He really hadn't chosen to ignore the babies, like she always thought he had. When they met again in November and he didn't ask about the pregnancy it was because he had no clue. Oh my god, what have I done, she thought. So much wasted time, so many precious memories lost to Paul, and all because of her.
"I'm so sorry Paul," Joanie cried. "I honestly thought you knew, and were just choosing to ignore the babies because it didn't fit in with your new life with Stephanie. I had no idea. I'm so sorry," she kept repeating
Seeing the genuine anguish in Joanie's eyes Paul walked over to her and tried to pull her into his
arms, but again she pulled away. "No, I don't deserve to be in your arms. I've caused you nothing but pain and have denied you your children," she sobbed.
"Joanie, you're causing me even more pain by not letting me hold you. I've been wanting to, no needing to do this for the longest time. So please, baby, let me just feel you in my arms again," he implored as he walked over to her again. This time she went into his embrace without hesitation. Her arms wrapping around his chest and holding him close. "I love you Paul. I love you so much, I never stopped," she whispered.
"Oh god Joanie, I never thought I would hear you say those words again. I love you too, baby," he said, right before his lips found hers again for the second time that night. This kiss was different from the first. Very soft and gentle, a renewal of the love they both thought lost to them up until now.
A/N : I know it's short, but I'm going too No Way Out and wanted to post before I left, so here it is. Let me know what you think and as always, please be brutally honest. The muses and I appreciate it. Next time a much longer chapter or two, I promise. ; )
