Disclaimer: The muses would like to remind everyone that Angel Spirit doesn't own Digimon, just the plot of the fic.
Author's Note (as of 03/25/06): Yayness for spring cleaning! Heh, I've decided that this year Spring cleaning for me will be revising/editing out fics…as I've been saying that I'd be doing it for quite some time now…with some time on my hands, I HOPE to get most of it done! LOL…so this is the fic that started it all…the prequel to Forevermore…as I stated in the previous author's note before I decided to rewrite it to make it sound slightly better, I wrote this without knowing much about the Frontier gang's parents, and now that I do I can go through and make name changes and whatnot to make everything accurate and I thank everyone who helped me gain that information! If it's one thing that I always thought odd about season 04 was that they never really did talk much about the Digi Destines parents and home life…they talked a little bit about it, but it got me to thinking a lot of 'what ifs'…and I always feel like I get into trouble when I start thinking 'what if' because it gets me writing fics like this one and Forevermore…so I guess another yay for 'what if' questions is in order, ne?
I know a LOT of you have read this all the way through and I'm really not adding all too much…merely just making some corrections that are long overdue! All names are being switched to their Japanese version…for example, IzumiZoe, and JunpeiJP, TommyTomoki. KoichiKouichi. Hopefully I'm not confusing anyone there…
Warning: this fic contains slash/yaoi…if you're not a fan of male/male pairings or any of the pairings listed below then I suggest that you hit the wonderful back button and run far, far away…and don't say I didn't tell you so.
Pairings: Takuya/Kouji for now, other pairings in the future
Rating: PG
Time Setting: Prequel to Forevermore, takes place about a year or so after their final battle with Lucemon in the Digital World.
Eternity
Author: Angel Spirit
Chapter I: Lost Hope
Takuya had never felt so...hopeless...
He was currently lying on top of his bed covers, wearing only in a pair of blue sleep boxers and a white T-shirt...trying to stay cool since the summer weather seemed to be growing hotter by the day, and didn't cool down much at night. Takuya's window was open, as he was trying to air out his bedroom in attempts to make the confining space a bit less stifling but now he was debating about closing it. The reason why he was debating about closing it was because of his parents. If he had thought that things were bad between them before the whole Digital World adventure he had had with Kouji, Izumi, Junpei, Tomoki, and Kouichi-it was nothing compared to what was going on now.
Closing his eyes, Takuya breathed in deeply as he tried to calm his nerves while he heard his parents shouting down the hallway in their room. His father had come home late from work...again...for what had to be the millionth time in a row. He had also forgotten to pick Shinya up from soccer practice-so Takuya's mom had been quite angry when she had gotten a phone call from her youngest son, wondering why no one had come and gotten him yet…an hour and a half after his practice had ended. Yuriko Kanbara had had to go and pick up her youngest son, and during that time frame Takuya had gotten a phone call from his father, asking him if his mother was home. The brunette had told him that she wasn't, and that she had gone to pick up Shinya...his father had then started cursing at the fact that he had forgotten because of a business meeting, and so Takuya had hung up the phone not really wanting to hear it and not wanting to get involved. He hated it when his father swore...and his father seemed to be doing plenty of that lately.
He could hear his mom screaming at his dad again, and they'd switch places every once in awhile so that it would be his dad doing the yelling. Takuya was really starting to get a headache from it all actually, and it was way to hot to get any sleep. Sneaking a sideways glance at the digital clock beside his bed, he groaned- it was only eleven at night meaning that he still had a lot of nighttime left. It used to not be this hard to sleep when he had been in the Digital World. Maybe that was because then he hadn't had any screaming, yelling parents down the hallway...and had gotten used to the quiet snores of Bokomon and Neemon, Tomoki's constant shifting around in his sleep, and Junpei's soft murmurs as the teen had had a habit of talking out loud while he slept. Only Izumi and Kouji had been the quiet sleepers of the group…and most often Kouji would stay awake throughout the night, keeping an eye on the group. Kouji never knew that Takuya knew he faked his sleep…but Takuya had the feeling that Kouji knew he knew. It made Takuya wonder now, if Kouji had trouble sleeping at nights…
Takuya finally gave up his sleeping attempts, and sat up, rubbing his forehead with his fingertips. Getting up from his bed, he slowly opened his bedroom door-he was going to get some aspirin for his growing headache from the bathroom when suddenly he heard a loud crash amidst the yelling-and his father cursing for the second time that night. Takuya bit his lower lip. He knew he shouldn't go and see what was going on-he knew his parents thought that he was in bed asleep-but it wasn't like he was a little kid anymore or anything. He was thirteen years old...if something bad was going to happen-like his parents deciding to split up and get a divorce-he wished that they would just tell him already and stop continuing to try and hide everything…acting like everything was fine. Because nothing was fine anymore; and if he could sense that why couldn't his parents?
He heard Shinya's bedroom door open and saw his younger brother poke his head out, a confused look in his dark brown eyes as he glanced at Takuya and then at their parents closed bedroom door. Takuya just shook his head and put a finger to his lips, telling Shinya to be quiet...Shinya did as he was told, and Takuya tensed when he heard his mother starting to cry as he and Shinya heard his father start apologizing again and again.
Takuya's body tensed...he knew what would happen now...he'd heard from plenty of his school peers who had divorced parents that when a fight like this happened, usually at least one of the parents would pack a suitcase and leave. Takuya wrapped his arms around himself and prayed that that wasn't going to happen tonight-not as long as Shinya was standing there, staring at the closed bedroom door. He didn't know what it would do to his younger brother if he saw their father or their mother leave without much of an explanation as to why. To Takuya it was perfectly clear…to Shinya however…
The brunette strained to hear what was happening in his parents' bedroom from his location in the hallway, but his parents' voices were muffled. He heard his mom cry out once in protest and then the door opened...and Takuya's eyes widened. His father was dressed-suitcase in hand. He heard Shinya start to cry as his younger brother had instantly figured out what was going to happen, and all Takuya could do was stand there-paralyzed-he couldn't move...
That was, until his dad started heading for the short staircase that would take him down to the entryway of the apartment they lived in, and only then did Takuya run in front of him, stopping him. His father looked down at him, a sad look in his eyes...and Takuya returned his sad look with a look of his own. At the moment he hated his father for leaving like this.
"Why?" Takuya was slightly shocked at how demanding the question sounded, and his father shrugged, looking lost at Takuya's question.
"Why is this happening?" Takuya asked again, wanting answers. He didn't want this…he didn't want his parents to split up.
"Look, Takuya...I...your mother and I...it's not your fault...or Shinya's- it's hard to explain...things aren't the way they used to be buddy, I'm sorry...I...I've got to go...look after your mother and your little brother...I'll see you...um...later okay?" With that stuttering explanation, the older Kanbara pushed Takuya out of the way and headed down the stairs. Takuya was in too much shock to stop him...instead, he turned to where the door to the master bedroom was opened, and he could see his mother kneeling on the floor-trying to pick up pieces of a broken vase with her shaking hands. Takuya saw that her vanity table had been broken at one point nearly smashed in half and the mirror to that had been broken as well. Shinya had closed his bedroom door and he could hear his little brother's sobs as he heard his father's car start from outside as it drove away.
Takuya felt his heart clench as he slowly walked into what had once been both his parent's bedroom, and silently started to help his mother clean up the mess. She looked at him at one point and sighed, looking around the room as she hugged herself.
"Takuya...you've got to at least know this much...you deserve to know as it involved you. Your father and I are seriously thinking about filing for a divorce. Things just aren't working out between the two of us as we hoped they would...we tried to stay together for you kids, but..." Her lower lip trembled, and Takuya knew that she wasn't saying something. He didn't care anymore, he didn't want anymore secrets. And he knew what she was trying to tell him had to do with him and Shinya-why wouldn't she just come out with it?
"Mom...there's more to it then what you're telling me..." Takuya murmured softly trying to keep his frustration at bay, and his mother nodded, tears starting to fall down her face once more.
"Yes Takuya, there is more...your father...oh god, your father wants a battle for custody..." Yuriko Kanbar finally gulped and sighed as she managed to say this, and sat down heavily on the bed, Takuya's eyes opening wide with unspoken fear.
"What? He can't just split Shinya and me apart...we need each other, mom, he's my little brother..." His mother nodded her own dark brown eyes holding a look that simply said 'I know…I wish I could fix this.'
"I understand Takuya, but I don't think you do..." Takuya must've looked seriously confused at this point in time, because Yuriko sighed again and shook her head.
"I hate that man for making me be the one to explain this to you, but...oh god...Takuya your father...wants a custody battle…over you." Takuya's mind and body froze for the second time that night as he felt himself go completely numb, his eyes opening wide again as he shook his head. This news was worse than the news that he and the other Digi Destined had gotten when they'd realized that they hadn't killed Cherubimon the first time he'd taken a long fall and Junpei had thought that he was dead.
"No...wh-what...why?" He stammered, and his mother took a deep breath.
"Takuya, sometimes with divorces one parent feels as though...as though he or she has to have something to hold onto...in this case, your father wants you."
"He..."
"I have to tell you, that if he wins the case Takuya...oh god...Takuya, your father wants to move to the United States..." Now Takuya really couldn't think, he couldn't breathe...the United States? God that was a long way away...from his friends...from...from...his crush...his secret crush...Takuya closed his eyes, feeling the tears coming. Sure, most of the time he was brave and courageous...but when it came down to something like this...he'd rather be fighting Lucemon all over again.
He felt his mother pull him into a hug, but Takuya pulled away.
"N-no...no, I'm...I can't leave you or Shinya...and my friends...and Kouji..." His mother looked at him puzzled for a moment. He had said Kouji's name without realizing that he had.
"Takuya, I promise you, I'm going to get myself the best lawyer there is...I'm going to fight to keep you here with Shinya and myself...trust me, please, I don't want you going at all...I couldn't bear to loose you either..." Something inside Takuya snapped as he stepped away from his mom just then.
"I can't believe you...or dad...what you're about to do! What am I, a prize or something to you guys?" His mother couldn't find anything to say to that, and Takuya suddenly felt anger and hatred coursing through him. He had to get out...he had to leave...
Takuya turned his heel and started out the door, but before he could reach the door he saw Shinya standing there, tears in his eyes as he wiped them away with the back of his hand.
"T-Takuya..." All Takuya did though was shake his head and flee...he had to get out of the apartment. The brunette didn't know where he was going, but he knew he couldn't stay here and listen to his mother trying to explain things to him. He wasn't some kind of trophy, and he sure as hell didn't want to move to the U.S. either...million of miles away from the people he loved and cared about the most.
He bolted down the stairs despite his mother's cries as he heard his name being called out over and over again. But all that mattered was that he was gone, away from the place he called home...at least until his anger cooled down and he could think logically about all of this. Takuya pulled open the front door and barely managed to remember to pull on a pair of sneakers before slamming it behind him as he ran off, out into the hot summer night…
BREAK
Kouji Minomoto tossed and turned, and sighed heavily. From the opposite of him he could hear his twin's even breathing...how Kouichi managed to sleep in hot, stuffy weather like this, he did not know. Feeling a little grumpy and annoyed at the fact that sleep wasn't claiming him anytime soon, he slowly crawled out of bed and headed to the bathroom to get a cold glass of water. It was a 'twin weekend'...meaning that Kouichi was staying with him, his father Kousei, and stepmother Satomi...and then next weekend he'd go and stay with his mother and Kouichi at their place. It was an agreement that the adults had made for the summer; an every other weekend type of deal so that way at least Kouji and Kouichi could spend equal time with one other and with their parents.
Sighing as he allowed the cool water to run fore a few second, he finally got the courage to splash some of it onto his face-shuddering for a moment at the sudden chill. Kouji smiled as he grabbed a hand towel, hearing snores coming from his father's and stepmother's bedroom...they always left their door open, which was one of the reasons why Kouji always kept his closed. He was a light sleeper, and did not like the sound of snoring much...at least his twin was the same way. They had left the window open and everything, and a fan was on in their bedroom as well-it helped for the heat but since Kouji was restless he didn't think he'd be getting that much sleep.
He was just about to head back to the bedroom and attempt sleeping again, when he thought he heard the sound of someone knocking very lightly on the front door-the sound was so soft that he almost didn't hear it. Shaking his head and thinking it was his imagination, Kouji once again moved toward the bedroom he shared with Kouichi, when the sound of someone knocking came again. Throwing his hands up into the air and giving into the situation, Kouji headed down the stairs for the front door not wanting sound to wake his family.
Wolf-his loveable mutt for a dog, was waiting downstairs for him wagging his tail...Kouji smiled fondly and scratched the German Shepherd's favorite spot behind the ears...before he bounded excitedly towards the front door.
"You heard it too, huh boy?" Kouji whispered, and in response his German Shepherd gave a small, soft bark of acknowledgement at Kouji's question and backed up enough for him to get to the door. He peered out of the eye hole, but couldn't see very well, and in the end he sighed and opened the door just as the person knocked again...and was quite surprised to see who was on the other side.
"Takuya? What're you doing out here at this time of night?" He whispered, but Wolf didn't seem to mind-Takuya had been over enough times so that by now, the dog thought of the brunette as an old friend and leapt up upon him to greet him. The brunette smiled at the greeting and gave the Shepherd a friendly pet, pushing him off of him and back down onto the ground a couple of seconds later. It gave Kouji enough time to look his friend over...Takuya was dressed in only his sleep clothes-a pair of dark blue boxers and a white T-shirt...he was wearing shoes, but no socks. He frowned at the sight of his best friend, who looked weary...and still hadn't answered his question yet.
"So, what are you doing here exactly?" He asked again, rephrasing the question as he hoped Takuya would finally answer him. All the brunette did was hug himself and Kouji sighed at the other teen's lost expression on his face.
"Want to come in?" As Takuya finally looked up, Kouji caught his friend's dark brown eyes and gasped softly-it looked like Takuya had been crying...but why though? Too many questions riddled through his sleep deprived mind.
Closing the door behind Takuya, Kouji sighed and took another glance at his friend.
"Want to talk?" He murmured, gesturing toward the living room, and Takuya hesitated a moment before silently nodding his head. This was starting to worry Kouji...normally the brunette would've said something by now…very rarely was Takuya ever this quiet. It was almost unheard of. As they sat down on the large, comfortable sofas, Kouji turned to face Takuya, who was sitting opposite of him on the same couch. Wolf, after a split second decision, leapt up onto the sofa and settled himself down in between Kouji and Takuya, placing his head onto the brunette's knee and looking up at him as though he knew that there was something wrong. Kouji smiled inwardly...normally Wolf wasn't allowed on the couches...but tonight he thought he'd make an exception.
"So?" He pressed, wanting information...like why Takuya was out wondering around in the middle of the night, and why he'd come to his place dressed only in pajamas...?
He was surprised when Takuya started to cry. At first he hadn't realized that the brunette was crying...but then as he looked a little harder, he saw small tears cascading down his friend's cheeks, no matter how hard Takuya was trying to fight them. The brunette sniffled and looked over at Kouji, who gave him a small smile.
"You know...you look really pathetic right now...oh, fine, come here already!" Opening his arms, Kouji allowed Takuya to lean into them as he rested his head on Kouji's left shoulder while Kouji wrapped his arms around the brunette, pulling him closer into the hug. They stayed that way for awhile, with Takuya sobbing on and off as he buried his head into Kouji's right shoulder. Takuya didn't see Kouichi come out of their bedroom at one point, looking rather puzzled-no doubt wondering where Kouji had gone off too, why his bed had been empty when he'd suddenly woken up and felt that something was wrong. He had walked down the stairs and was starting to come toward them when he saw the position that his twin and Takuya were in and arched a questioning eyebrow.
All Kouji could do was shake his head...he didn't think that Takuya would say what was wrong if Kouichi stayed downstairs, or if he even knew that his twin was up and moving around. Takuya didn't know Kouichi as well as he knew Kouji...and that would cause awkwardness-something he didn't need right now, because he was already feeling a little awkward himself. He wasn't used to being the one comforting people.
Sensing that he'd just make the situation worse upon seeing the look Kouji was sending him, Kouichi nodded in understanding and headed back up the stairs, knowing that his twin would tell him what was going on later. He had thought that he had heard the knocking at the front door earlier, but he had only thought that it had all been a part of his dreams...
Meanwhile, Takuya's sobs had lessened, and he was just enjoying the fact that he had someone to lean into, a shoulder to cry on. He hadn't meant to come to Kouji's place, and he hadn't really been thinking about where he had been going. His feet had kind of leaded him here, and he hadn't realized it until he was knocking on the door. He knew he must've looked quite a sight...but at the moment that was the least of Takuya's worries. He was with the person he cared most at the moment…and that was all that really mattered to him now.
He didn't know if the feelings he had for Kouji was 'right' or not...and at the moment it didn't matter. He knew that Kouji probably didn't feel for him in the same way, that Kouji wasn't 'like that'...it made it a little more painful to think that way, but at the moment all Takuya wanted was for someone to hold him-and that, was exactly what Kouji was doing.
Kouji must've felt his sobs cease, because before Takuya wanted it all to end Kouji had pulled away and held Takuya at arms length, a glint of determination in his dark blue gray eyes.
"So, back to my original question Takuya...what happened?" He asked this in a soft, gentle voice that almost surprised Takuya-who bit his lower lip, unsure of where to start…knowing that Kouji deserved an answer. Before he knew it, the events of the night came rushing out of him.
"It all...it all happened so fast...I mean...I knew that they've been fighting for awhile now...I knew it...even before we went to the Digital World I knew they were fighting...and tonight it was the worst I've heard...and...and...before I knew it my father was leaving...suitcase and everything..." As Takuya made his way through his explanation, Kouji felt his heart slowly melt. No wonder why the brunette was so upset...
"And...and...he's supposedly moving to the United States...I knew that his job wanted to relocate him there, but mom didn't want to go and neither did Shinya or I, and so he told them no. But that was a few years ago, before they started fighting, and now...now he's reconsidering it seriously and...and...and there's going to be a custody battle...over...over ME...my dad wants me...and...and...oh Kouji, I don't want to leave!" Takuya said this all so fast, despite the fact that he was stammering so badly that it made Kouji's head spin as he tried to listen to Takuya's every word. But he had heard the 'custody battle', and 'United States' and 'Don't want to leave...' For a moment there was nothing Kouji could say...
He had never thought that this kind of thing would happen really. He had never thought that he might actually have to tell the brunette his secret...only one person knew it, and that was Kouichi-the only person he would trust his secret with. Though, somehow he knew that Izumi had figured his secret out long before, if not shortly after they had returned home from the Digital World. It made Kouji wonder if she'd figured out that he had strong feelings for Takuya before they'd come home from the Digital World and had just kept quiet about it.
The raven haired teen bit his lower lip. He hadn't really wanted to tell Takuya his secret...but...if what he was hearing was true, then it might be possible that there was very little time left to spend with his best friend...or someone whom he now considered to be 'more' then a friend. There was something about Takuya, something that caught Kouji's eyes and stole his heart. He was always able to catch Takuya in the hallway of the school they both went to now, no matter how crowded the hallway was...he had practically switched half of his schedule around so that he could have his classes match Takuya's (without the brunette knowing of course) and even though Takuya didn't know it he had also started to go to his soccer practices, watching him as he played out on the field.
"Kouji...? Is...is something wrong?" Takuya asked as Kouji had apparently stayed silent for far too long and Takuya looked like he was ready to start crying again. Kouji just shook his head. He couldn't burden Takuya with anything else at the moment-his feelings would have to continue to remain bottled up for awhile.
"No...It's just that...I mean, I always thought your parents got along really well...they always did whenever I was over." And it was true. The times that Kouji had been at the Kanbara's, Takuya's parents had looked happy...like...like a married couple should, the way his own dad and stepmother looked.
"So it all happened tonight huh? In one big blow out...?" Takuya nodded at Kouji's softly spoken question, once again looking like a lost child. Kouji felt the corners of his mouth turning up into a small smile, though he tried to hide it. He always thought the brunette looked rather adorable the way he was looking now.
"Oh, come here..." Kouji opened up his arms again and Takuya, after contemplating it for a second or so, hurled himself back into Kouji's embrace. The two teens sat there like that for quite some time, Takuya sobbing as Kouji gently rubbed his back and held him tightly. At one point, Takuya's sobs had quieted down. When Kouji had finally looked down at him to see what was going on he fought another smile...the brunette had fallen asleep in his arms.
"Looks like you're spending the night tonight, whether you want to or not..." Kouji murmured with a small smile, and realizing that the brunette was practically lying on top of him anyway in their embrace, scooted himself back against a couple of the fluffy couch pillows. With Takuya now cuddled up on top of him, Kouji smiled...oh sure he'd have some explaining to do to his parents when they woke up in the morning, but...
He felt his eyes finally starting to close at the comfortable position he was in.
The explanation would be well worth it.
TBC
Quick End Note: (edited as of 03/25/06) Nyahahahahaha…I made Takuya the uke one here! LOL, goes to show you just how much my writing style's really changed, ne? I definitely prefer my Kouji uke, but lol, it's nice to have a change every once in awhile, hmmmm…? If you're reading this now and haven't reviewed at all please do! I love hearing what people think about my fics…and reviews encourage me to continue writing! Though looking at this chapter, I wasn't as mean as I could've/should've been and didn't leave it as a cliff hanger…that's okay, I've got plenty of them throughout the rest of the fic…LOL!
