Sentiments of gip-k: -Hello, everyone! If you are ready to kill me by now… now that is NOT okay! If you are not ready to murder me in a vicious or mean way… than that is wonderful!
Well, in this chapter we're going to start looking first person from Kaoru's point of view, as it will be from here on in. Thanks!
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Disclaimer: I don't own Rurouni Kenshin. As I have said before, it belongs to Watsuki Nobuhiro! Thank you!
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---After the Tragedy---
I barely remembered anything from that night. I was in such shock over the events of the day. I remember in snatches- Sanosuke carrying Yahiko's limp body away- Kenshin speaking soothing words in my ear. And Raekan's eyes. I remember the sympathetic look in Raekan's liquid green eyes as clearly as if it were happening just now. I scarcely remember going to bed that night. I just let my head fall on the pillow, the tears somehow keeping themselves from rolling down my cheeks. I fell asleep faster than I'd thought I would. But then there's what had happened the next morning.
* * *
I awoke early that morning. I was surprised to find myself still in yesterday's clothing.
I neatly folded the sheets of my futon, and washed my face at the bowl in the corner of my room. I dressed in a gi and hakama- men's clothing, actually, but they suited me well for my training, and so I wore them.
I slowly opened the doors of my room and stepped out into the warm sunshine.
I called Yahiko's name. Where was the little brat? He'd be late for training if he didn't hurry.
I started when I realized suddenly that Sanosuke was standing right in front of me. I hid my anger and embarrassment carefully, and then looked up at him. The expression on his face was dark- his brownish eyes had never, ever looked that heavy before.
"Have you seen Yahiko?" I asked softly, still awed by the expression on Sanosuke's face.
It seemed to take Sanosuke an extremely long time to react. He just stood there, staring at me, his expression never changing. His mouth twisted, but his eyes seemed to have somehow softened.
"Don't you remember?" he asked.
"Remember what?" I replied, concern growing in me.
Sanosuke's expression softened further yet, which made me grow even more worried. What was wrong?
"Well, I suppose you were in kind of a bit of a shock yesterday," Sanosuke replied quietly. "Are you telling me you don't remember?"
"No!" I exclaimed. "Where's Yahiko? What's happened to him?"
Sanosuke stared at me intently, and yet again it seemed to take him quite a while to speak.
"Little Missy, I hate to have to break it to you, but…" he paused, but only to sigh. He face was grave. "Yahiko's gone."
I blinked.
"What do you -?"
"He… died yesterday," Sano replied grimly.
I stared at him in pure shock and terror. My eyes seemed to have widened to their fullest capacity, and I tried to speak, but couldn't get any words out.
"You… remember now, don't you."
Sano's words hit me like a slap in the face. And just in that very moment, the memories all came back to me. A boy climbing- the rock falling- Yahiko being pinned beneath…
"NOOOOOOO!" I screamed. Mixed emotions of anguish, fury, and shock came over me, and I fell to the ground on my knees, my sobs being wracked violently out of me. I dug my fingernails deep into the dirt- the dirt that was now being wet by my tears.
Then I heard someone coming- running. I didn't look up, my sore grief and pain too much for me to bear. Kenshin had heard my loud cry, for he had rushed away from whatever he had previously been doing, and came to kneel beside me. He tried to wrap comforting arms around my shoulders but I pulled away- pushing and scratching at him, crying out curses for him to leave me alone. Then I saw what I was doing- who I was hurting. I saw the sympathy, the kindness and sadness present in those violet eyes, and finally I wrapped my arms around him tightly, weeping openly on his shoulder.
"Oh Kenshin," I moaned. "Why? Why?"
Kenshin hushed me softly.
"Hush, Miss Kaoru," he whispered. "It will be all right, that it will."
"No it won't," I sobbed. "It will never be the same!"
So I wept on Kenshin's shoulder, crying out words of sorrow and deep pain. It took me days to recover from that shock, and all the while Kenshin, Megumi, and Sano were there for me. But it seemed that all their efforts would be wasted, for as soon as I felt well enough, we began to talk of the funeral.
Why we had to talk of the funeral I didn't know. I didn't want to speak or think of it. I wanted to see Yahiko again, but not in a coffin. If only that useless wish were at all possible…
One day we were speaking of the funeral, I sitting next to, not holding Kenshin, but close enough to do so. We were trying to decide what Yahiko would've wanted on his funeral. Then all of the sudden, the door burst open.
There stood Tsubame, soaking wet. All of us stared at her. Of course we had wanted her to be a part of everything, but she was late and had often refused to- or rather, found some excuse- not to come to our discussions. Finally, she was before us, but why was she wet?
"What happened?" Sanosuke was the first to answer the question that was hanging over all of our heads.
"I… fell… fell in the water," Tsubame breathed faintly. Then she walked in the room and sat down in the small circle on one of the vacant mats around the table. Her eyes darted from Megumi, to Sano, to Kenshin, and then to me. But the seemed to linger especially long on me. The extreme pain and hopelessness that I saw in Tsubame's eyes was enough to choke me. I had to struggle not to cry, for I knew there was little I could do for Tsubame. I would have to ask her how she really got wet after- all of us knew that that statement had been a silly white lie.
We continued talking. Tsubame agreed that she and Tae would make the robe that Yahiko would wear to his funeral, and Megumi and I were to choose the material. Yahiko had no family that we knew of, so we his friends were to take care of things ourselves.
All went smoothly. Megumi and I chose a wonderful red material for Yahiko's robe and we got him a wonderful belt to go along with it. We joked among ourselves about what Yahiko would say if he saw such fancy things, but soon that mirth ended as solemn grief and respect replaced it.
When the funeral day finally arrived, all was ready. Each of us contributed, all speaking of how Yahiko had been our best friend. Kenshin and I had both agreed that we ought to get Yahiko's shinai in the best of shape and put it in the coffin, and we did so.
Raekan was there, as well, looking all somber in his black coat and pants- much fancier than anything he was used to wearing. I couldn't help but feel like I'd been stabbed in the heart each time I looked at him- if he hadn't been climbing, Yahiko might still have been alive… but… it still was not his fault, and he looked genuinely sorry about the accident. He did not raise his eyes to me once, though, so I assumed he might be afraid to. All the same, though, he was sorry.
Throughout the entire funeral I did not cry- until I saw them lowering Yahiko's coffin into the ground. The lump in my throat threatened to choke me, so I had no choice to let my tears flow freely. I tried to keep from whimpering- to be strong and happy for Yahiko's sake and for the sake of all those who had come to the funeral. I couldn't do that, though. I suppose I hadn't known how much Yahiko meant to me before he was gone.
I stole a quick glance at Tsubame. Her hair was tousled, and though she wore her finest kimono, it did not seem to give her any beauty at all. Not today. She was sitting down on the ground, hands folded neatly on top of each other, and her mouth was closed in a tight line. Hey skinned seemed pale- almost grayish, as though she were ill. But most of all, what affected me most were her eyes. They were filled with such a look of extreme bitterness, grief, and sadness, that they looked almost black rather than their true color, which was navy blue, and often brightened to look even lighter than that when she was cheerful. And she was always cheerful, but now, she appeared to be one of the most devastated people at the funeral.
I tore my eyes away from Tsubame, her grief starting to cast gloom on me, as well. Immediately, though, they fell on Kenshin. He had that frightful look on his face. His violet eyes stared ahead blankly, and his mouth was smooth- it was almost as though he had no emotion at all. But I knew him to well to think that. I could nearly feel his sadness- his guilt. It galled me to think that he actually thought he bore any responsibility for what had happened that day, but it was definitely why he looked like that. His look made me cry even harder, and made my lips begin to tremble.
I turned away from him as well, shaking violently. As I hugged myself my eyes fell on Megumi. She had badges under her eyes, and she looked tired- as though she hadn't slept for days. I knew she felt that she was guilty- after all, she was a doctor, and she hadn't been able to revive Yahiko. She'd saved his life in the past, but now was different. Everything would be different, now.
I suddenly heard a voice, and my head flipped around, and my eyes falling on Sanosuke. He was mumbling to himself. He had not yet given anything in honor of Yahiko, but he would give- in his own way and his own time. He even still wore his usual white coat and pants. That was not unusual, at all.
Despite the fact that if one looked on Sano, they would've seen a man he didn't care, I could see beyond that. The slight shifting of his feet, the working of his mouth- and mostly, the troubled look that was present in his dark brown eyes. He would have a hard time getting over it, too.
I turned back to the men who were helping at the funeral- watched as they scooped the dirt back over the coffin. I myself would have quite a hard time getting over it. It seemed impossible for me that just a short while ago he was practicing with his shinai every morning. He'd been improving each day, slowly, and surely. But now, he was gone, six feet under the earth.
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gip-k's Post-Chapter Statements: -I apologize for that being so short. (Sighs) It seemed best to just leave it right there, at least for now. I hope you've enjoyed it so far. I should hope to come out with another story, too, soon, and people have been requesting a CWF sequel. :D So I'm still considering, that, too.
Well, thank you all so much for reading this! It means a lot to me! :D
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