Disclaimer: Takuya + Kouji = me no owning Digimon...so don't even think about suing me...=P

Author's Notes: ::cowers and hides:: I am SO sorry for how long it took me to write this chapter...I had it written...and then I decided that I didn't like the way it was and so I rewrote it and decided the same thing...seriously guys, this chapter has been rewritten like, four times now...-_-;; I just can't decide what to do with this thing...if I have it go the way I was originally having it go, then you guys are going to seriously want to hurt me...::cowers again:: I was planning on doing a sequel to this, so that's one of the reasons why I'm having some problems with this chapter...if I do a sequel to this, I'm going to have to do an ending that you guys aren't going to like very much...but that means that the sequel will be all the more sweeter and chock full of Takoujiness...so...I guess I'll leave it up to you guys. I can end this story here, within the next couple of chapters and give you guys a happy ending...or...well...I'll let you guys figure out the other possible ending that can happen...so let me know in your reviews what you really want this fic to go! Also just a fair warning to you guys this chapter will probably have more angst in it then some of the others...I was...kind of um...in a bad mood when I wrote this...heh...needless to say I feel much better now! -_-;; (I decided to have this chapter focused a little more on Kouji in this chapter then Takuya...I hope that Kouji's not to OOC...I really tried not to do that...)

Story Rating: PG13

Warning: Takuya/Kouji pairings...you've been for warned in advance...if you don't like then I suggest that you leave now or forever hold your peace.

Summary:

Eternity

Author: Angel Spirit

Chapter IV: Anger and Despair

Kouji didn't know where to run...didn't know who to turn to. He found it hard enough to keep the tears from falling from his eyes-luckily though, the day had presented itself with some rain, so the water falling from the sky mixed in with his tears.

A part of him was hurt...angry...and the other half was sad and confused. He had thought that once he had gotten together with Takuya, it'd all be perfect...and it all had been perfect. Up until today...up until this morning when they'd had a pretty bad argument-no, it wasn't an argument, it was a down and outright fight between the two of them...and Kouji had thought that once he and Takuya had officially gotten together and told each other their feelings, that they wouldn't fight like they had once used to-and this morning had certainly been one of those fights. Kouji wasn't really sure how it got started...but he sure knew who had finished it. His jaw was still sore where Takuya had punched him...hard.

And then he'd ran...not watching where he was going or caring who he had ran into...he just ran. He had to get out-to get away from Takuya.

He choked back an angry sob that threatened to come through-he couldn't even remember what the fighting had been about...and now he was in a part of the city that he rarely went into-it was a part of the city that anyone with a right mind wouldn't go into.

Slowing down his run into a hesitating walk, Kouji decided to turn around...and when he did, he bit his lower lip as he was greeted by some boys-much older then himself-and taller too-staring down at him.

"Hey, now look at what we have here...Isn't he a pretty thing?" It had to be a gang...that was all Kouji could think of, and the guy who had talked, looked to be the leader of it. He had only two other guys with him at the moment-but Kouji could probably count on their being more. Kouji didn't say anything as the group of guys laughed heartily and eyed him up and down...suddenly Kouji felt very self-conscious. He'd never felt this way around Takuya or any of his other friends...but the way that these boys were looking at him, made him feel as though they could see right through him. He gulped, and one of the other boys noticed and gave a low chuckle as he stepped forward, next to the leader.

"Oh...he looks a little nervous...what is such a pretty boy doing in a place like this?" He snarled, a mad grin appearing on his face and Kouji realized that the question was meant for him...and all he could do was shake his head.

"Does the pretty little thing have a name?" The leader asked, leaning toward him...and Kouji wrinkled his nose a bit...he smelled alcohol on the guy's breath. Were they drunk? And if they were...Kouji shuddered.

"I think we've got a mute on our hands boys!" The other boy who had spoken a few minutes ago roared out, and Kouji realized a couple more had joined them, laughing as the leader reached out and stroked Kouji's long blue/black hair for a minute-he recoiled at the touch, closing his blue gray eyes...more laughter followed.

"Do you want to know what happens when people like you step into our territory pretty boy?" Kouji felt his head shake at the leaders question, and then more laughter. The leader reached over and untied his ponytail, causing his hair to fall, and when Kouji opened his eyes he saw several of the others who had joined the once-small group nodding in approval.

"Damn...you are a pretty thing...who would let you wander into a place like this? And since you're in our territory now, we'll take your company..." Something about that didn't sound right to Kouji...in fact, it sounded very wrong. The leader reached out to touch him again, acting as if to pull him forward, but Kouji stepped back, a snarl suddenly appearing on his faces and causing many of the other gang members to look taken aback for a minute.

"Leave...me...alone." Kouji heard himself snarl, and the leader grinned.

"So, the lone wolf does talk." Kouji froze...what on earth had made the leader call him that? He felt his hands ball up into fists at his sides and his eyes darted around-he had to find a way out of there...and an idea struck him.

"And so now the lone wolf will find out what happens when he enters a territory belonging to a pack of wolves...suppertime." The leader sneered, and several of the other boys crowded in around him...but as they made to grab him, Kouji realized his chance...they'd left a very small opening in their circle that was rapidly closing in on him...and if he didn't act fast, he would be in so much more trouble then he was in now.

"I think you'll have to wait to eat...this wolf has got another pack." Kouji growled as he leapt quickly through the small opening, barely managing to make it out of the circle and rolling to a stop feeling smug. Not for long though, as he heard the gang leader cry out in rage, and sent several of the other boys out to grab him and 'bring him back.' Kouji dashed back the way he had come, wanting to see any other kind of life besides the scumbags that were chasing him.

Eventually he rounded the corner that he knew would get him back to the main street-and when he saw the subway, he dashed down the stairs, not caring if the gang was still following him or not. The subway held people in it-loads of people-and while he wasn't a big fan of big crowds, if the gang was still following him, he'd be able to at least loose them in the crowd.

Slowing down as he maneuvered his way through the evening rush of people trying to get home, Kouji took a moment to look behind him, and sighed...they weren't following him anymore...he was safe.

That had been a stupid thing to do...to run into territory like that...

Breathing a sigh of relief, Kouji made his way through the crowds to the other side of the subway tunnel, and headed out into the bustling downtown area...he'd be able to make his way home through here-eventually. At the moment though, he really didn't feel like going home.

He was so lost in his thoughts that he didn't hear someone hollering his name through the crowd. Eventually he heard though, and turned slightly to see Izumi and his twin rushing up to him-both looking worried.

"KOUJI!" Izumi hollered afraid that Kouji wouldn't stop, and had hollered loud enough so that several people looked their way. Kouji frowned, and sighed...Koichi he could talk too...Izumi though...

"Hey...are you alright? Takuya called and said that you'd run off...he's worried..." Kouji bit his lower lip, not knowing what to say or think at the moment, his emotions jumbled up inside of him. He closed his eyes tight for a few seconds, and in that few seconds his twin seemed to get the hint.

"Izumi...um...why don't you go get a coffee or something and I'll join up with you later?" While Izumi wasn't always the brightest, she took the hint as she nodded and Kouji felt her squeeze his shoulder before she headed off back into the crowd.

"Want to talk?" Koichi murmured, and Kouji nodded, the tears threatening to flow as he opened his eyes again.

"Come on...let's head to the park...it's only a block or so from here, and I've got my cell phone...Izumi knows I'll call her to join me again." Kouji nodded as he let his twin lead him to the park, his own dark blue gray eyes scanning the city for any signs of the gang that had been following him less then a half an hour or so ago. Still no sign of them. He felt more at ease when he sat next to Koichi on one of the park benches that was slightly off a beaten path, but not at ease enough to want to tell Koichi exactly what happened between him and Takuya...and there was no way in hell he was going to tell his twin what had just taken place before he had met up with him and Izumi.

"So...Takuya sounded really upset...kept on saying that it was his fault...what's up?" Koichi asked softly and Kouji sighed, his hands in his jean pockets. The rain had lessened, and his twin had on a windbreaker that also served as a raincoat as it had a hood on it...Kouji on the other hand, was wearing only a three quarter length T-shirt and his blue jeans...his bandanna had gotten lost somewhere along the way, and-and his hair was still down. Kouji sighed as he realized that while he had been running earlier, he had lost his bandanna in a gust of wind, and the gang leader had taken out his ponytail holder...and probably still had it too.

"Nothings up." Kouji growled and Koichi sighed and shook his head. He knew his twin could be stubborn sometimes, but he also knew when Kouji wanted to talk to someone...and he could tell just from the expression in his twin's face that he was ready to let loose...he just needed to wait a few minutes.

"Kouji...?" Kouji sighed. He knew that if he didn't say something then Koichi would just keep on bothering him.

"Fine...Takuya and I...had a bad fight this morning." From the corner of his eyes, he saw his twin wince a little as he finally noticed the bruise forming around his jaw.

"He didn't do that to you, did he?" Koichi asked softly, and Kouji hesitated for a moment before he nodded.

"Damn...what were you two arguing about that made him that mad?" Kouji didn't know what to tell his twin...now that he thought about it, the fight seemed...childish.

"It...was...nothing...I mean, it was a stupid fight...now that I think about it..."

"Kouji...tell me." Kouji sighed...there was no way getting around his twin, no matter how hard he tried.

"We...fought...because...because...I thought...I thought...that he...was..." Kouji gulped. He really didn't know quite how to say what he wanted to say without making a complete fool of himself. And the more that he truly did think of it, the more that he knew he had been at a wrong. The fight wasn't Takuya's fault...Kouji hadn't been understanding enough, as Takuya had argued much, much earlier that day.

"We fought because...I...was jealous...of someone..." Kouji grimaced in frustration...why in the hell did this have to be so hard? Koichi nodded, encouraging him to go on-and when Kouji looked into his twin's eyes, he saw that Koichi seemed to already know, and sighed again.

"I thought that Takuya was spending more time with Shinya then me- okay? And Takuya called me selfish and told me that I couldn't possibly understand how hard the situation was for him and I argued back and said some things...that I shouldn't have...and then...he...hit me. Hard." Koichi winced at the last word, but nodded.

"So you think that since Takuya's spending so much time with his little brother, then by the time the court makes a decision whether or not he stays with his mom or goes with his dad, that he might have to go away and you'll never see him again so you can never get that time you could've had back?" Kouji stared at his brother in fascination...and Koichi smiled back and shrugged as if answering an unspoken question.

"Am I right?" He asked softly, and Kouji nodded, rubbing a hand across his forehead-he suddenly had a very big headache...and he could feel the chill settling in from when it had been raining earlier. It wasn't anymore, but it was still a bit chilly-especially for the month of August.

"Yeah...you're...right. In some crazy way you're absolutely right...and now I feel like a total moron for saying that..." Koichi shook his head at Kouji, who raised an eyebrow in return, wanting an explanation.

"Kouji...do you know who phoned me on my cell phone much earlier today and told me that you'd just run off like you did? Do you know who sounded worried out of his mind, and is probably still out there looking for you?" Kouji bit his lower lip, not trusting himself to say anything as suddenly he really wanted to cry then and there. Instead, all he did was slowly nod his head.

"Which, by the way I've got to call and tell him that you've been found, because he's probably more worried about you then I was when he called me." Kouji managed a small smirk as he pushed his twin off the bench, and Koichi caught himself and re-righted himself so that he was sitting next to his twin once more, grinning at him.

"It's true...he told me to call him as soon as one of us found you...take pity on him, he went searching for you with Junpei." Kouji chuckled a little, amazed at how his twin could turn everything okay again.

Lost in his own thoughts once more, Kouji didn't even hear Koichi's end of the conversation with Takuya, but glanced at his other half when he was handed the cell phone.

"Talk to him...it'll make you feel better and he'll actually believe me that I found you for real." Kouji allowed himself a small grin as he took the phone.

"Takuya-kun?" There was a sigh of relief on the other end of the phone.

"My god...you are with him then! Stay there...I'm coming now." Kouji nodded, not knowing what else to say and handed Koichi's phone back to him, who talked with Takuya a half a minute or so longer and then hung up and stood, stretching.

"Want some coffee or something? I sent Izumi to get some, and I bet you she's probably found a seat to stay inside the coffee house." Kouji thought about it, and then shook his head.

"Thanks...but...I think I'm going to stay here...besides, I'm a mess..." It was the first time that Koichi got a good look at his twin and he let out a low chuckle, one to which he earned a glare at from Kouji.

"Sorry...but you're right. I told Takuya to check here first and if we weren't here then to go to the coffee house. So...everything's okay now?" Koichi asked, raising an eyebrow and crossing his arms over his chest at the same time as he saw Kouji nod.

"Yeah...everything is going to be all good now." Koichi smiled.

"Good...I'd better go and meet up with Izumi before I get an ear full about leaving her, and making her wait." Kouji nodded and gave his twin a brief hug as he left, waving. Kouji gave a small wave back and then sat back on the bench, thinking. He was massaging the shoulder that the gang leader had briefly touched when Takuya came up panting hard, placing his hands on his knees and bending over to catch his breath.

When he finally righted himself again, Kouji was standing right in front of him, and put a hand up to stop the brunette from talking.

"No...don't speak. What happened...was my fault. I was being selfish...I'm sorry...I shouldn't make you choose between your little brother and myself...that was stupid." All Takuya did was shake his head at this.

"Nah...you're not the only one who's at fault Kouji...I...was being stupid too. After you left...I realized how much time I really had been spending with Shinya, and that I'd...kind of been ignoring you. I mean, I even realized that even though the group was together for the fourth of July, that I hung out around Shinya and Tomoki more then I had with you all night...so...I'm sorry too...and I'm all the more sorry for...this..." Takuya murmured, as he brought his hand up and laid it very gently across Kouji's bruised jaw. Kouji found himself grinning.

"So...we're okay then?" He said softly, and Takuya nodded.

"Yeah...hey...why don't we head back to your place and get you dried off and into some other clothes...and then we can do one of two things...we can hit the new carnival/arcade place that just opened downtown or we can stay at your place and...do something else..." Takuya grinned his trademark grin at him, and Kouji couldn't help but grin back.

"Hmmm...that's a really hard thought...but...I vote for the later..." Takuya's grin got even wider as he drew Kouji in close and enjoyed a kiss before placing his arm around Kouji's shoulders and hugging him close to him. Takuya decided to call a cab, despite Kouji's protests about the expenses but Takuya didn't want Kouji walking around in wet clothes more then he had been, afraid that his koi would catch cold.

When they got to Kouji's place, Takuya smiled as he paid the driver- giving him a little bit of a tip for being 'fast'-and then took Kouji's hand as they headed inside.

"You know, I think only your stepmother's home...and maybe if we can get her out of the house...we'll have the place to ourselves..." Takuya grinned mischievously at Kouji, who laughed.

"Oh yeah, you'd like that wouldn't you?" He asked, grinning back. But before they could head up the stairs, they found Kouji's stepmother sitting on the third step, phone in hand looking rather distraught. Kouji shivered suddenly and realized that it wasn't from his wet clothes...and that the hairs on the back of his neck were prickling.

"Mom...? Mom...what's wrong?" Kouji asked softly, and his stepmother shook her head for a minute before sighing and looking up at the two boys.

"Mom? You're scaring me..." Kouji murmured, and it was true-she was scaring him. His headache which had been forgotten earlier when he'd run into Koichi and Izumi was coming back full force, and nearly took his breath away. He clenched his stomach, feeling nauseated from the pain in his head.

He thought to himself, and almost didn't catch his mom's soft word that had been spoken-but one glance at Takuya-who had paled quite suddenly caused Kouji to ask his mom to repeat it again.

"She lost." Was all his stepmother could say, and Kouji suddenly understood what she meant as Takuya took his hand out of his own and shook his head.

"NO." The brunette muttered, not wanting to believe it. Kouji didn't know what to say...didn't know what to think...the headache was getting worse, and he closed his eyes, shaking his own head a little bit, feeling the forbidden tears coming back.

"Mom...you're...lying...right? Tell me this is a joke...April fools, ha ha?" Kouji demanded suddenly, and his stepmother shook her head.

"Takuya's mother called just a little bit before you two came home...I'm sorry Kouji...it's true...she's going to come by later to talk to Takuya..." Kouji shook his head as he thought he saw Takuya use the back of his sleeve to wipe away at his eyes.

The headache increased and suddenly Kouji closed his eyes against the pain, gritting his teeth...why did it hurt so much? The pain laced through his body, and Kouji found it hard to breathe suddenly...the pain was deep...in his heart he knew that Takuya would have to go with his dad...so far away...too far away...leaving him...it was as though his worst nightmare was coming true-he had had nightmares lately, re-occuring ones of something like this happening and he had never thought they'd come true-but they had. Just not as he had expected it.

He didn't even feel himself falling, as he opened his eyes he saw the world spinning about him. He heard his name being called out, but couldn't register who's voice it was, though Kouji was pretty sure that it was Takuya's. Kouji felt someone catch him before he hit the ground...and then all he knew was the darkness the surrounded him.

TBC