Sentiments of gip-k: -Hello. Welcome to the 2nd chapter of the story. I hope you've enjoyed it so far. Well, enjoying isn't really a very accurate word, now is it? :XD It's going to be okay. Just make sure you keep plenty of Kleenex.
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Disclaimer: I don't own Rurouni Kenshin. Do I have to say anymore?
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---Sorrows Upon Sorrows---
A few weeks after Yahiko had died, I was just hardly starting to get over it. Maybe I never would. It was just that every time I thought about him I felt my chest beginning to tighten. I had tried practicing with my bokken more and more often, but little seemed to help me. I tried meditating even- to destroy bad energy. That had seemed to be a bunch of nonsense, because I could never close my eyes and concentrate long before Yahiko's face- his defiant red brown eyes especially- pierced my thoughts as sure as a needle did a pincushion.
And then there was Sanosuke. The friction between he and I seemingly increased as each day passed. We argued constantly. At first it seemed to just be joking banter, but the quarrels became more heated and serious with time. We shouted at each other, and it had gotten to the point where one of us was so angry that often we stormed out of the room in either hot or cold rage. Kenshin tried to stop us, but he seemed to just make things worse- sometimes it's best when he just stays out of it- a mouse in the corner.
Megumi and Sano have barely been speaking to each other, lately. Megumi seemed to be trying to find refuge just as I did- in extra work. She spent all of her time with her patients, or writing some kind of prescription or experimenting with no medicines- something of the sort. Every time I saw her she was going somewhere, that dark look of obvious guilt present in her bluish eyes. But I could somehow tell that she would get over it, someday, for she never seemed to be without some remnant of hope- a light in the darkness…
* * *
So on one unparticular day, I was sitting down on a purplish mat at the small table. Kenshin was sitting on my right. He seemed to always be around me, but he was more staring at nothing than eating. He had that distant, dreamy look in his ever-violet eyes, as though he were very deep in thought.
Then, all of the sudden, Sanosuke bursts into the door. I didn't even have to look up at him to know that he was upset. His footsteps were enough for that.
Annoyance gnawed at me like a mole at the soft dirt beneath its teeth. I was not in to good a mood- Sanosuke's unceremonious entering unnerved me- he was doing that far too often. He didn't even greet me- not a word or a mumble even. He just sat down roughly on one of the mats and starting eating. Sloppily, too.
"You're late," I growled at him without looking up from my own meal.
I could just barely see his lips twist in annoyance.
"I'm sure you just squandered all your money on useless gambling," I drawled casually, not afraid to continue.
Kenshin placed a warning hand on my arm. I glanced at him temporarily. His eyes said "no" as plain as if it were written in red. Well, he didn't understand. Sanosuke wasn't going to stay in my dojo and not pay me the respect I deserved- as a woman and a hostess.
My anger grew when the smell of rice wine drifted to my nose. Sanosuke had been drinking again- and much more than he usually did, from the smell. And his clothes were ruffled and there was a slight bruise appearing by his right eye. Well, he'd apparently gotten into a little brawl with one of the men at the Akebeko. I snorted at the foolishness. Kenshin's hand tightened on my arm. I pressed my lips into a fine seal. I supposed I would just have to tolerate Sano's idiocy for now. Then he said something that made my tongue more flappable than a sail in the winter wind.
"This food tastes like shit," Sanosuke said, placing his chopsticks down roughly.
The rage rising in me seemed to cause my legs to rise, also, for I immediately stood up from the small table, nearly knocking it over.
"I've had enough of you!" I yelled out loudly. Kenshin was startled and released his grip on my arm.
Sanosuke's head flipped upward, eyes seemingly looking startled for a moment. Then the look of shock was abruptly replaced by one cold enough to turn boiling water to ice.
"I'm sick and tired of your ungrateful attitude!" I cried. "You have been staying out late, and you are insulting me day and night! Why can't you just shut the hell up for once?"
"Why can't you?" Sanosuke retorted. "The food does taste like shit and you know it. Why can't you cook something decent once in a while?"
My face reddened with anger.
"Do you know why you can't taste my food, Sano? Do you know why?"
"Enlighten me," he growled.
"It's because of your stupid drinking, that's why!" I yelled near the top of my lungs.
Sanosuke's face darkened.
"Miss Kaoru," Kenshin chided urgently, coming to his feet and standing beside me. I ignored his pleas for my silence.
"Why you little-" Sanosuke said, coming to his feet.
"See, you can't even deny it," I replied heatedly. "I'm pretty sure you lost every piece of little scrap that you own, and maybe Tae had to throw you out, didn't she?"
"F***!" Sanosuke cried. "What the f*** is your problem? Tae didn't have to throw me out, I f***ing left! And I don't own scrap, you-"
"Well, okay, she didn't have to throw you out," I said sarcastically. I matched his serious look with one just as level. "I'm sure you didn't pay her fully for all that sake that you drunk- and I'm sure you left the place in a wreck after your little fight."
For one solitary second, Sanosuke's fierce expression was replaced by one of guilt and shame, but in almost the same second, his anger had returned, hotter and fiercer than ever.
"Well you still can't cook a decent meal!" he screamed. "Heck, you can hardly do anything!"
"Oh really," I replied. "At least I am not stuck up on a damn drink!"
Sanosuke's eyes widened with outrage.
"What is all this crap about sake?" he retorted hotly. "F***!" he smiled in irony. "You're crazy!"
"And you're a lazy drunken bum!" I retorted.
Sanosuke's face darkened even more, if that was at all possible.
"I'm not listening to this f*** anymore," he muttered to himself. He started walking away.
"Go ahead and run, Sano!" I yelled after him.
He flipped around and indignantly kicked the small table hard and it went flying into the wall, splattering food everywhere and shattering the pretty white and blue China that had been neatly placed on it. Then Sanosuke turned on his heels and stalked out of the house, leaving the door swinging as he did.
"Damn him!" I yelled loudly. I sighed at the mess that he had made when he kicked that table.
I knelt down to begin cleaning the mess, and Kenshin hurried to my side, helping me pick up the broken pieces of China and wipe the food off the floor. All the while I muttered to myself, but Kenshin did not say a word. When he finally spoke, I jumped and let out a small cry.
"I believe that perhaps you and Sanosuke should speak, Miss Kaoru, and perhaps you should apologize, I say."
The very thought of apologizing to Sano lighted my fury anew.
"Why would I do that?" I asked incredulously. "He's been a jerk all week. He should be apologizing to me! I am his hostess, and I have been nice to him all this time, and he doesn't even care! He doesn't even greet me when he comes into the dojo anymore!"
Kenshin did not say anything else, and I just continued in my fury. Damn that man!
* * *
The very next morning, I was calm. The thoughts of my furious battle of words with Sano nearly completely forgotten. Nearly.
We had never made up or apologized to each other, and that hurt me deep inside. When I saw Sanosuke later that morning he just walked past me without a word, heading off to the Akebeko for more gambling, and so I did not greet him, either. The anger almost re-ignited, but I didn't have the heart to argue.
Kenshin was gone, somewhere, for I couldn't really find him anywhere around the dojo, and his futon was neat and his room clean. I almost panicked, but then I realized he hadn't left my side for several weeks. Maybe he needed some time… alone.
So meanwhile, I just decided to head into town. I needed to get a few things from the market. I needed some paper and ink for my calligraphy writing. I had started writing of late- it gave me a little bit of time to relax and not think about anything, especially Yahiko's death. So that was another place of refuge for me.
As I walked through the streets, I couldn't help but feel saddened when I saw other children Yahiko's age, smiling and laughing innocently and playing among themselves. They had never seen what Yahiko had seen- had never gone through what he had gone through- and lastly, were not half so honorable, brave, and mature as he. Then why, despite all these things, was he dead and they alive? I felt the tears beginning to well up in my eyes and the lump form in my throat, but I forced them far back, as well as the morbid thought.
I browsed the clothing section. I decided to buy a bit of material. Sewing was a refuge for me, too. After paying the woman, I decided to head off to buy my ink and paper. This required me to walk past the Akebeko.
Curiously I peered inside, expecting to find Sano there. But he was nowhere to be seen. But I saw someone else…
Tsubame.
She was wiping a table, her face gray and glum. I swallowed, wondering how she was getting along. I decided it might be best for me to check up on her, and Tae, as well.
I walked into the small restaurant, and Tae, who was standing behind a counter, looked up at me with a wide smile. Tsubame looked up as well, but the look was a complete contrast to Tae's- her eyes were as dark as on the day of the funeral, if not darker. She glanced back down slowly and resumed her work. I tore my eyes away from her and turned to Tae. I forced a smile that I hardly felt like displaying on my face and replied to her greeting.
"Hi, Tae," I replied.
Tae gestured for me to come over to the counter. I did as she asked, and walked up to where she was standing, wondering desperately what she wanted me for.
She waited a long while before speaking, her eyes darting from Tsubame, still wiping a table, to me.
"I'm… worried about Tsubame," Tae whispered, licking her lips. "She's been acting like a zombie ever since that Yahiko boy- died. She stated she didn't want a day off but…" Tae paused, seemingly searching for the right words. "Oh, I don't know what to do with her, Kaoru. I'm afraid- I'm afraid-" Tae grabbed unto my hand with both of hers, squeezing for emphasis. A deep, meaningful look was present in her brown eyes, a look she made sure I saw before she finally continued. "-Please speak with her, Kaoru. You… might understand what she's going through- no; you will understand what she is going through. And much better than I can. I just-" Tae sighed. "-I just don't know how to help her."
I waited for a while to digest all this. Then I swallowed, suddenly feeling as though I might soon choke. Finally, after what seemed like an eternity, I replied.
"I will, Tae," I whispered back, sighing. "I will try."
Raw relief washed over Tae's face, and she gave my hand an extra squeeze.
"Oh thank you," Tae replied, a smile coming over her face. "It means a lot to me- I'm really worried about that girl."
I nodded, giving Tae a tight smile. She released my hand, and drew back away from me, letting out a deep sigh.
"Um, Tae?" I asked, suddenly remembering the reason why I had peered in the shop in the first place.
"Speak on, Kaoru," Tae replied in an easy-going voice.
"Has… Sano stopped by here?" I asked quietly.
"Yes, indeed he has," Tae said. She snorted. "He's been drinking a good deal and he still owes me some money." But somehow, despite Tae's rough words, to me she seemed somehow worried over Sano, as well.
"Did he drink a lot today?" I asked, pressing on for the answers I wanted.
"Well, actually, come to think of it, no he didn't," Tae replied. "He just bought a bottle of sake- it was the real fancy, expensive kind. I was quite surprised that he had the money. After that, he left."
I nodded slowly. Sanosuke didn't really bother with the more expensive kind of sake unless he was throwing some kind of celebration or party. But why would he do that, now? What was going on?
My questions still bothering me, I said good-bye to Tae and Tsubame, my eyes lingering on the girl a good deal longer than on Tae. Then, I left the restaurant.
I picked up my paper and ink, which were both quite expensive, as always. I then bought some spices and vegetables that I planned to use in dinner, and a bucket of tofu. It was quite an odd load to carry, and I got some help from a nice child on the way to the dojo. I agreed to give him a few lessons, later for his good help.
When finally I arrived at the dojo, it was a bit later than I thought. I was relieved and happy to find Kenshin in present in the dojo, washing a load of clothes. He greeted me with a warm smile. It did not seem to touch his purple eyes very much, though- not the way it used to.
"Hello, Miss Kaoru," he replied cheerfully.
"Hi, Kenshin," I replied. I looked around. Sanosuke still was not home yet.
With a sigh, I headed off to deposit the groceries in the kitchen, and take my material and calligraphy tools to my room.
I let out another sigh as I began doing a little writing before dinner. I still felt shaken from my encounter with Tsubame, and my hands often shook as I thought of the bleak look in her dark eyes. It was obvious that I could do no work this way, so letting out another of my deep sighs- I seemed to be sighing a lot these days- I neatly put my working tools away.
I headed to the kitchen to fix dinner. Kenshin came and sat down on the mats near the table, a distant look in his violet eyes. I was surprised he didn't jump to my aid and help me, but he was once again deep in his thoughts. He was softly stroking the hilt of his reverse blade sword, barely moving and barely making a sound. I glanced back and forth from my cooking and him, hoping to find some thing new about him that I hadn't known before. Yet I knew that wasn't going to happen. He kept a very tight lid on his emotions, and his mind was a fortress surrounded by the strongest walls and archers atop them. As well as knights to quickly whisk all people who walked within twenty feet of it gently away. If you resisted those knights a number of strange things could happen, all of which I did not understand.
I quickly fixed dinner, and Kenshin and I sat down to eat in silence. We didn't talk as much as we used to, but that was the way things were, now. Sanosuke finally arrived at the house- I heard his footsteps- more quietly this time, but unceremoniously as usual. I sighed. At least he wasn't limping. This seemed to be the new pattern of things. Or at least for a while. Yahiko, I wish you were here…
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gip-k's Post Chapter Statements: -Hello, all. Or maybe I should say good-bye? Well, anyways, this is the end of this chapter. I hope it was not too morbid or boring for any of you, though I doubt seriously that it was. :D Well, thanks for reading, everyone!
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And here are my special thanks.
Female Hitokiri Battousai
I know you haven't had time to read this yet. :D But I'm sure you will, so that's why I'm putting you here! Thanks for sticking with me!
Dee-chan
Thank you for staying with me, as well. I truly hadn't expected a review from you, but you kept your promise! ^_^ I truly appreciate that!
Crazed Fanatic Anime Fan
You were the first reviewer! Thank you so much for staying with me! I didn't know you liked my stories so much. (SNIFF) Thank you! I promise to supply you with more and more chapters, and good luck with your own fanfiction! ^_^
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