Disclaimer: The muses would like to remind everyone that Angel Spirit doesn't own Digimon-just the plot of the fic.
Author's Notes: This chapter and the next chapter are here now without the lyrics that were originally posted due to saying that we can no longer hold other artists lyrics within our fics...sighs. So here the two chapters are, lyric free...I personally thought tha it was better with the lyrics, but what can one do? Anyway, that's why you're seeing Eternity coming up again in your alert boxes-but I'm working on revising this and other fics, so you guys will end up seeing some of my old stuff from time to time again and that's the reason why.
Warning: This fic contains slash/yaoi. I suggest if you're not a fan of male/male pairings that you hit the wonderful back button to the top left of your page now and run far, far away.
Rating: PG
Pairings: Takuya/Kouji, Izumi/Kouichi
EternityChapter VI: Not Goodbye
Author: Angel Spirit
Kouji tossed restlessly in his sleep...the nightmares were starting to plague him again...had been since his family had brought him home from the hospital. They'd started almost that same night...and had only gotten worse since Kouji and Takuya had been forced to stay with Tomoko and his twin as a result of Takuya's father calling the Minamoto residence non stop, voicing threats-mainly toward Kouji-over the answering machine. They never answered the phone anymore after that one particular phone call...the one where Takuya's dad had actually threatened to kill Kouji for 'corrupting' his son, because Kouji was the reason that Takuya wouldn't go with him.
While his fever had broken, and he was truthfully feeling much better than the previous week and a half, his body still ached and he still felt tired from time to time. Something his mother said would pass with time as long as Kouji took it easy.
It had to be nearing the early morning hours...Kouji had heard Takuya going to bed hours ago, and the brunette had immediately fallen asleep. Kouji was worried, because he knew that Takuya thought that everything that was going on was his fault. The truth was however, that with the phone calls and threats Takuya's father kept sending at them, was making yet another case for Takuya's mother...in hopes of righting what had gone wrong with the custody case. Takuya's mother had told Kouji's parents that if she could use the messages from the Minamoto's machine as evidence, she might be able to reopen the case and try to turn it around. Meaning that Takuya would possibly get to stay...
But in his nightmares, that was not what happened. In his nightmares, Takuya's father came storming into either the Minamoto or Kinmura residence (depending on wherever the nightmare wished it to be) and would take Takuya. Dragging him away from Kouji, who would always somehow be trapped-unable to move. Tonight's nightmare was no different...only worse, since it was more vivid, and felt much more real than many of the previous ones that he'd had before. .
Kouji didn't know that he had cried out and started thrashing in his sleep. He didn't know that his cries were loud enough for both his mother and for Kouichi to hear, as they came dashing into the room almost immediately after Takuya had rolled off the bed, turning on the lamplight next to it and headed straight for his thrashing form.
"KOUJI! KOUJI, WAKE UP! It's just a dream Kouji, please...you're scaring me..."
Takuya. His words pierced through the nightmare, and somehow Kouji managed to claw himself away from it, as he slowly woke. Finding himself in Takuya's warm embrace as he held him tightly to keep him from thrashing around anymore, his blankets already wrapped around his legs making it impossible to move even if he tried. To Takuya, this felt like deja vu all over again.
Kouji found himself breathing heavily, sweat trickling down his brow and he realized that at one point during the night his ponytail had come loose and his hair now flowed down, sticking to his neck and falling into his eyes. At that point in time though, Kouji didn't really care about his hair...all he really cared about, was the fact that Takuya was still here, holding him...
At one point as Kouji had started to shake, he felt a glass being pushed into his hands, and he looked up into Takuya's dark brown eyes as his koi nodded-helping him hold it so he could drink the blissfully cold water that the glass contained. When Kouji didn't think he could drink anymore, Takuya took it away and handed it to his twin-who, Kouji noted, looked rather worried-and continued to hold the glass in case Kouji felt like he'd need more.
For awhile, nothing was said as Takuya held his trembling form. Kouji knew that the nightmare wasn't real...he knew it...but oh gods...it all seemed like it was happening when he was dreaming it. Kouji closed his eyes shut, his breathing harsh as the events of the nightmare came flooding back to him, he heard Takuya trying to soothe him, but his mind wouldn't be soothed.
"Kouji...Kouji, you've got to calm down, alright? Take some deep breaths, okay?" His mother's voice...Kouji tried to listen to it as he nodded, leaning even more into Takuya as he tried to calm himself. He heard someone sigh, and low voices start to converse as he gradually found himself falling into unconsciousness, hoping that it wouldn't have anymore nightmares...
"I don't know what we're going to do..."
"I know I haven't been able to get much sleep lately, and with school starting tomorrow I know I'm going to be a walking zombie!" Kouichi murmured, a small smile on his face as he tried to make light of the situation and reached over to brush some of his twin's hair out of his pale, sweaty face. The first comment had been from his mother, and Takuya was strangely silent, biting his lower lip as he held Kouji close. His eyes holding a deep, thoughtful look in them.
The older twin looked at his mother as she shook her head, looking a bit more tired. Kouichi knew it was from the recent nightmares that Kouji kept on having...and this wasn't the first night for something like this to happen. He rubbed his tired, blue gray eyes and sighed.
"There's no way Kouji's going to be able to go to school tomorrow mom...I know it's the first day, but I don't think he'll be able to make it through..." Tomoko nodded with a sigh as she rubbed her neck with her left hand, her right on her temples as she massaged them as well, trying to think and get rid of the light headache that was starting at the same time.
"I could get his locker assignment and the books for his classes." Kouichi pointed out, biting softly down on his lower lip when his mother made no response. He glanced at Takuya, who had now closed his eyes, his face almost holding a painful look to it as Kouichi put a hand on his shoulder and squeezed it lightly.
"I know that there's no way I'm going to be getting back to sleep tonight...Takuya...do you want to talk?" For a second there was no response. The twin's mother placed a hand on the brunette's other shoulder and shook him lightly, causing him to open his eyes.
"Takuya...go...if anything try and get some sleep, I'll look after Kouji...you've gotten about as less sleep as I have...go." She waved him out of the room and he followed Kouichi down to the kitchen, who put some water to boil for tea or whatever it was he was planning to make.
About fifteen minutes later, tea was indeed placed down in a mug in front of him, and for awhile all Takuya could do was stare at it as Kouichi sat down on the other side of him sipping his own mug.
"Want to talk? You can't keep everything bottled up inside forever-" Before Kouichi could finish what he was going to say, an unexpected outburst from Takuya cut him off.
"This is MY fault! I'm doing this to him, I'm the cause of all this! And I wish I wasn't!" The brunette buried his head into his arms on the table, and Kouichi sighed as he slowly scooted his chair back and stood-walking over to his twin's boyfriend and wrapped an arm around his shoulder to comfort him.
"Takuya...Kouji loves you more then anything...I see it in his eyes every time he looks at you. I meant what I said awhile back, when I told you that you've made him happier than I've seen him in a long time. Takuya, without you...without you, I'm not sure what my twin would do." Takuya nodded, starting to feel numb inside.
"I know...and...that's why I don't think I can do this to him. I can't cause him anymore pain than what I am already...those nightmares...he has nightmares about me leaving. I can hear him moaning and crying out in his sleep, whispering my name...its all the same." Kouichi sighed softly, unsure of what to say to comfort Takuya.
"I wish that there was something I could do to help, but until we hear from your mom as to what's going on with that new custody case she managed to open, I don't think that there is much any of us can do." Takuya nodded, knowing that Kouichi meant well. But in truth as it was nearly three in the morning, he doubted that there was anything anybody could do.
"I just don't want him to feel so much pain anymore." Takuya murmured, and Kouichi nodded, knowing exactly how Takuya felt. He was Kouji's twin...if anything, he understood it perfectly...he hated seeing his twin this way too.
"Look...why don't you try and get some sleep? You look like you could use some." Kouichi coaxed, and Takuya snorted as he finally took a sip of the tea Kouichi had made him.
"Yeah, well...you probably need it as much as I do. You're actually going to the first day of school tomorrow, remember?" Kouichi was shocked by the bitterness that filled Takuya's words. But in a way he understood the meaning behind it. Takuya hadn't enrolled in their first year at Shibuya High School as a ninth grader, for the fear of having to move to New York...and going to the High School there. It still wasn't too late for him to enroll, but by now Kouichi as well as anyone else who attended the over populated High School knew that all the good classes were already taken. And if Takuya's mother lost the case again...
"True...but you've also been up with Kouji for the past several nights now Takuya...why don't you take my bed and sleep?" He offered, but Takuya shook his head and stood.
"No. I can't...this is my problem as much as it is Kouji's. And as long as I'm here to try to right it, I should, shouldn't I? Kouichi, if my mother looses the reopened case over my custody, I won't be here anymore to help Kouji through his nightmares. And I want to do it now while I still have the chance." Kouichi nodded, rubbing his forehead tiredly as he watched Takuya head upstairs.
"This is all such a mess." Kouichi mumbled to himself as he finished the tea he had made and went to go clean out the mugs, noticing that Takuya had hardly touched his. In fact, now that he thought about it, Takuya hadn't been eating that much either. He knew why though. And personally, he wished that this would all end-and soon. With a good outcome. He knew in his heart, that Takuya and Kouji were soul mates-that they were meant to be together. If they were separated over that long of a distance, Kouichi knew that his twin would not fare well.
The week passed on without many incidents. The twin's mother called Kouji in sick for the beginning of the week, telling them that he was getting over the pneumonia-which, was half the truth at least. But at one point, Kouji knew that he was eventually going to have to go to school. Whether he wanted to or not...even if it meant giving up the days that he had with Takuya, the alone time they shared while his mother was at work, and Kouichi at school. Eventually, as Kouji knew what Kouichi knew, this had to all come to an end. And when that phone call came Thursday evening, Kouji immediately felt dread building up in his stomach...and as he met Takuya's eyes, he somehow knew that Takuya knew as well.
The phone call that would end it all...
Let's just hope this is a happy ending...please? Kouji thought, as the twin's mother excused herself to go and get the extension in the kitchen, closing the door as she did so. But it didn't stop the three teenagers from looking at each other, and then getting up quickly from the table and dashing toward the closed door to listen in on Tomoko's conversation the best way possible. When Kouji heard his mother sob though, he knew it was all over. He knew that that happy ending that he had wanted, wasn't going to take place...and he slid to the floor, unable to think or speak. Takuya just walked away, out into the living room of the apartment, and all Kouichi could do was stand there in shock.
To all three of them, it felt like an eternity before Tomoko finally came out of the kitchen wearing a forlorn look on her face-a dreaded expression in her eyes. When she saw the way Kouji was sitting, and the look on Kouichi's face, she sighed and shook her head.
"I have the feeling that you three already know what I'm going to tell you. According to Mrs...no, excuse me, Ms. Kanbara, she has a bad feeling that things aren't going well. The recording from the Minamoto's message machine didn't seem to help much for 'evidence' as the judge called it. I really, truthfully hate to be the bearer of bad news...but Takuya's mom told me to pass on the news that if she lost this time, Takuya will be gone by the end of next week...she's only telling us exactly what the judge told her point blank. Bastard." Kouichi glanced up quickly as he heard his mother swear and whether or not she was calling the judge, or Takuya's father the bastard, Koichi didn't know. But at the moment it seemed like either one would fill the spot. He was just startled to hear their mother swear...very rarely would she ever do such a thing.
Glancing down at Kouji, Kouichi sighed as he knelt down next to his twin, who had his knees pulled up to his chest and his head hiding in his arms. When Kouichi got him to look up, he looked miserable-and in truth, Kouji felt miserable. He knew he had everyone on his and Takuya's side...his mother, his twin, their friends...even Takuya's mother and his little brother Shinya and Takuya's own grandparents didn't want this to happen. But Takuya's father was so damned persistent...didn't he know what he was doing? Kouji didn't know that he'd asked the question out loud until he saw Kouichi shake his head.
"I don't think he does Kouji...I don't think that he really knows how much he's hurting you or his own son..." Kouji flung himself into his twin's warm embrace, needing the close comfort. He didn't feel much like crying at the moment...he just felt...empty. Like he couldn't really feel at all. Kouichi held him close, knowing that their mother had gone to tell Takuya what his mother had told her over the phone. He knew it, because a few minutes later, Takuya had stormed upstairs and slammed the door.
As the twin's mother came into the doorway, she looked at the dinner table and sighed. When she had fixed the food, it had sounded good enough...and now as she was sure that she wasn't hungry, she definitely knew that no one else wanted to eat.
"Mom...tell me it's not true..." Tomoko whirled around to see a distraught Kouji being comforted by Kouichi, and shook her head.
"I wish I could Kouji. I prayedthat this would've been a happy ending for both you and Takuya, that having the case reopened was some kind of miracle or something. But Kouji...eventually you've got to come to terms with the fact that Takuya's-" Kouji cut her off by standing up quite suddenly and pushing his twin away in the process as he shook his head angrily, not letting her finish.
"NO! I don't want to hear it! We've been through so much...and Kouichi knows just how much we've been through, so much more than you do!" Kouji whirled around to face Kouichi, who just nodded mutely as he knew that Kouji was talking about their time in the Digital World.
"He knows how much we've concurred and survived...but we let something this simple...this...this stupid...get in our way? And we can't defeat it...not like that..." Kouji seemed to have realized something as he whirled around and practically flew up the stairs to his bedroom where he opened and shut the door quickly, finding Takuya on the bed with his face buried into his pillow. Kouji moved over to where he was and gently sat down next to him, shaking him a little to let him know that he was there.
"Takuya...Takuya, do you remember how you told me that if something like this happened, that we'd run?" Takuya nodded into the pillow, not saying anything.
"This is stupid...this is all so stupid! Gods Takuya...do you realize how many demons and villains that we fought in the Digital World? There were so many times where we could've almost lost...but we've never given up hope, especially you! Do you realize how much we concurred when we admitted our feelings for each other? That was such a weight off of my shoulders when I knew that you loved me back! We've never run from anything before Takuya-but I'm afraid to admit...that this time we might have too." Takuya went still as Kouji finished off his rambling speech, but Kouji had the feeling that somehow he'd gotten through to Takuya, who sat up a few minutes later looking him straight in the eyes.
"You sure you want to run? I mean, Kouji...it won't be easy." Kouji just stared into the dark brown depths of Takuya's eyes, before he nodded and kissed him. Lightly at first, and then the kiss grew deeper. Takuya moaned as they continued to kiss, realizing that he and Kouji hadn't actually truly kissed in quite some time, with all that had been going on-Kouji being ill and with his nightmares...the fear of Takuya's mother loosing the second case...which, she had.
"Stupid parents...they don't understand..." Takuya murmured through kissing Kouji as his koi nodded.
"Mmmmm...I know...why don't they just leave us alone and let us live our lives the way that we want it too?" He murmured back, and Takuya chuckled for a moment as Kouji pulled back for a second, raising an eyebrow at him as if to ask 'what's so funny?'
"Because if they did it that way, then it'd be way to easy." Takuya replied, answering Kouji's unspoken question as Kouji chuckled a bit as well as he leaned in for another kiss...and another...then another...
When Kouichi woke up in the morning, he was suddenly filled with dread. He had actually slept all the way through the night...which, felt strange all by itself because that meant that Kouji hadn't had any nightmares. But Kouichi had expected Kouji to have nightmares last night, with what had just happened.
Quickly rolling out of bed, Kouichi headed straight for the room that Kouji and Takuya shared, and opened the door without knocking. The dreaded feeling coming over him even more. The beds they'd pushed together to form one big one was empty...and there was a note scribbled out in Kouji's-and Takuya's-hasty handwriting on top of the covers.
Kouichi shook his head as he grabbed the note scanning it and then letting out a sigh. So they'd made a run for it. He groaned as he headed into his mother's room, not wanting to tell her what had occurred over night, but knowing that he had too. Kouji hadn't even told him where they were going in the note-only that they were going away. They'd even left their cell phones there as well. Kouichi couldn't believe that his twin had the guts enough to do such a thing...and yet...in a way he also did believe that Kouji could do it.
"Mom? Mom, are you awake yet?" Kouichi wasn't sure what time of morning it was, he figured it was pretty early when he heard his mother mumble something incoherent to him as she made it to the bedroom door and opened it, still trying to figure out how to put on her robe.
"Kouichi...I'm awake now...do you know what time it is?" She mumbled, and Kouichi shook his head.
"It's five in the morning, I'm not due up for another half an hour, and...wait...five in the morning? I slept through the whole night, Kouichi...?" Kouichi just handed her the note to answer her questions and as she scanned it like he head earlier, she sighed and shook her head.
"Dear gods...help them."
"Mom...do we have to tell Takuya's parents?" Kouichi asked in a whisper, as he hoped that they wouldn't have too. All Tomoko did was sigh again and nod her head.
"Yes...yes, Kouichi I'm afraid we'll have to...but that doesn't mean we can't give them a good day's head start." Kouichi just smirked and nodded as his mother put the note in her robe pocket and headed downstairs to make some coffee, Kouichi right at her heels.
Kouji hadn't thought that it'd be that easy. Sure, he knew that he'd miss his twin dearly...but he hoped that eventually one of these days that he'd be able to see him again, to contact him and let him know that everything was alright. All that mattered to him at the moment, was Takuya...and being with him. Which is where he was now. They'd managed to buy train tickets and still have some money left over between the two of them. Enough to last them for awhile anyway, as they'd pooled their allowance money. Turned out that Kouji was a lot better at saving money then Takuya was. Go figure. But he loved him anyway.
Kouji was actually sleeping at the moment, his thoughts running through his tired mind as his eyes were closed and his body rocked slowly with the rhythm of the train. He had scooted as close to Takuya as he could, and had his head against the brunette's shoulder, Takuya having an arm wrapped around him and holding him close. Kouji had his legs curled up on the bench, tucked partially underneath him in an effort to get comfortable.
He wasn't sure how long he had been asleep, all he knew was that it was sometime late in the afternoon. Eventually the train came to a stop and Kouji found himself stirring, pulling away from Takuya enough to stretch his sore muscles from being in a cramped position for so long, and rub his neck for a few seconds as he got his bearings. Takuya was awake and watching him with a small smile on his face, but Kouji got the look in his eyes as he stopped stretching and frowned.
"What's wrong?" Kouji murmured, not liking the foreboding feeling that he was getting in the pit of his stomach. Takuya shook his head, not responding for awhile and it made Kouji feel nervous-what was his koi thinking?
"Takuya? Please...tell me what's wrong?"
"I...I just...I feel like this is wrong. That we shouldn't be doing this." Kouji blinked several times and then sighed as he scooted away from Takuya, feeling a headache coming on. Takuya had been the one to suggest this hadn't he? This had been his idea, right? Kouji had just ran with it...literally.
"I don't want to loose you." Kouji muttered, and Takuya sighed.
"I know, I don't want to loose you either, but I can't help but feel that our actions are going to hold bad consequences...Kouji...maybe we should go back." Now Kouji couldn't believe what he was hearing-Takuya actually wanted to go back? The dark haired teen shook his head.
"Listen to you...you're sounding like me. This is crazy. Normally I'd be trying to tell you that this plan is stupid...and yet our roles have reversed. How?" Takuya shrugged at Kouji's question, and grinned.
"You rub off on me?" Kouji chuckled at Takuya's reply, and shook his head again as it grew quiet between the two of them.
"Well we can do one of two things..." Kouji murmured, and at Takuya's glance, he continued on.
"We can either get off here and hop on the next train over and admit defeat and the fact that you're going to be going off to New York by as soon as Friday night, and spend as much time as we can together until then considering the fact that it's already Wednesday or we can continue on-we can always get off somewhere else and head back home if you decide that's what you really want." More silence between the two teens, and Kouji could feel Takuya thinking hard. He groaned and threw himself back into his seat, crossing his arms over his chest. He didn't like pouting, but at the moment it seemed like a perfect opportunity to do exactly that. He swallowed feeling nervous as he wondered what Takuya's response would be. Would he choose to go back?
Baka...it was his idea to run...and he'd be backing out of it. But...in a way Takuya's right too. If we do get caught... The thought never occurred to Kouji. If he and Takuya did get caught...what would the consequences be? Probably not good, or so Kouji decided. Eventually it was announced that the train was getting ready to leave again and quite a few people were in their car. They had chosen the last car for the mere purpose to be alone most of the ride, as not too many people chose to ride in the back car...it was the most uncomfortable to ride on, but as it was time for many to head home from work, Kouji mused that the other cars in front of them were probably full and this was the last of the stragglers.
"Well?" Kouji hated pressing, but Takuya really did need to make up his mind...the train was leaving. As the train actually started moving again, Kouji sighed. Takuya hadn't said anything. And he didn't for quite awhile, leaving Kouji in his own dark thoughts as the sun set and darkness took over. Kouji glanced out the window at the stars, practically glaring at them. Why was Takuya giving him the silence treatment? It frustrated him. Kouji could hear people talking in their car, but chose to ignore them, allowing his eyes to fall close...
He was being shaken roughly awake, and heard Takuya's frantically whispered voice as he pulled himself out of his sleep, wondering what in the world was going on. They were stopping again.
"Kouji...Kouji, do you see flashing lights up ahead or is that just my imagination?" Kouji sat up fully, suddenly feeling a little alarmed. He blinked a few times as the train slowly slowed to it's full stop at the station, many people wondering why it was stopping as this normally wasn't stop that the train didn't make. Normally it would continue on through this port and stop at the next station...as scheduled.
And Kouji did see flashing lights up ahead, his eyes growing wide as they were the flashing colors resembled something that would belong to a police car. He closed his eyes, his breathing coming out fast...he knew what they were here for...and he knew that the train would have no choice but to stop. And stop fully it did, many people wondering why it was stopping. Kouji tensed as the people in their car started murmuring again, wondering no doubt what was going on. Kouji could see in that the second car had been boarded and was being searched, and his breath hitched in his throat. Takuya squeezed his hand suddenly, bringing him around so that Kouji was now looking at him as his dark blue gray eyes locked on with Takuya's brown ones.
"We both know what they're looking for...right?" Takuya whispered, and Kouji nodded-not wanting to admit it. He was glancing at the train doors, almost willing them to hiss open so that he and Takuya could make a run for it and not get caught. How had they acted so fast? Kouji had thought that they'd at least have 24 hours before they came looking for them, and be reported missing...wasn't that what normally happened with a missing persons case in order for the person to be claimed missing to be actually missing.
"Kouji?" Kouji looked at Takuya as their train car doors hissed open as Kouji had so willingly wanted it to do, and a female officer came on board, flashing her light around.
"If there's anyone here who answers to the name of Takuya Kanbara, can he please speak up so this search can be made as easily as possible?" Closing his eyes, Kouji knew that this was the end. Even though the officer sounded as gentle as possible, Kouji knew for a fact that it was over with. After tonight he doubted that he'd be able too see Takuya before he left for New York. No...Takuya's father would probably be most certain that Kouji himself had thought of this idea. He blinked back tears that threatened to fall, telling himself that he was not going to cry...but why did fate have to be so cruel? Why couldn't it just leave him and Takuya alone? Kouji felt his hand squeezed once more before he felt Takuya stand up slowly, a grim look on his face and hurt and anger in his eyes.
"Here...I'm right here, you can stop searching." The female officer nodded, and looked at Kouji, nodding at him.
"You might want to come too kiddo." Kouji growled softly at the use of the 'nickname' the woman had given him, but Takuya reached down and helped him stand as they made their way slowly off the train and into the lighted station. Before they'd even entered the station's holding area, Takuya had already let go of Kouji's hand and hadn't looked back at him, and Kouji felt his legs nearly wanting to give in on him. Why had he thought that he and Takuya could actually get away with this? Why had he been so stupid? Had he really believed that this would all be just one big happy ending, and that Takuya would really get to stay?
I've been stupid all along...getting close to Takuya...whenever I seem to get real close to anyone they always seem to go away... He thought darkly as he hugged himself and glared at Takuya's back. Little did he know that if he had seen the look in Takuya's eyes as they were walking into the port, he'd have seen that Takuya was hurting just as much as he was.
Kouji hadn't even realized that it had started to rain until he noticed that he was starting to get wet...the officers wore rain jackets, but offered no umbrella or shelter from the rain to him or Takuya as they were nearly at their destination anyway, but at the moment Kouji didn't care-the weather matched his mood at the moment. He was confused, angry...frustrated, upset...a mix of emotions that just kept on jumbling up inside of him, numbing his mind-and his heart. The officer who had found them opened the door into the port and Takuya walked in without a glance behind him as Kouji walked soundlessly inside following Takuya, shivering. He suddenly felt cold.
Stopping in his tracks, he stared ahead of him as he saw Takuya's father standing there with a few cops surrounding him, nodding as Takuya sighed and looked up in defeat. It was over. Kouji bit his lip as he saw Takuya's mother over at the other exit, hugging herself-Kouji wondered where Shinya was and then figured that he must be with Takuya's grandparents.
"Takuya." Takuya's father nodded at his son, and all Takuya could do was nod back.
"Dad." He replied, softly acknowledging the older man and finally turned to face Kouji, who couldn't think of what to say at that moment. He knew right then and there that that would definitely be the last time he'd get to see his koi. And he wasn't able to stand the thought. Not giving it another thought, he launched himself at Takuya, throwing his arms around him as Takuya held him tightly. He didn't look up when he heard Mr. Kanbara move in their direction, but the female officer's voice told him not to...just to let it happen as it would. Kouji buried his head into Takuya's shoulder, shaking with the effort not to cry. His throat tickled, and his headache pounded...he suddenly felt lightheaded and didn't want to let go of Takuya.
"Kouji...Kouji, I've got to go before this gets any worse...gods...I love you." Kouji felt himself start to shake as he shook his head a little bit, not wanting this to happen. But Takuya managed to slowly and gently pry their embrace apart, and Kouji was shocked to find his koi crying...and that he himself was crying as well.
"Takuya...Takuya, no..." Kouji heard himself whimper, as Takuya only nodded and shared a deep kiss with him, for what Kouji felt was the last time it would ever happen.
"Takuya...time to go." Takuya broke the kiss and looked over at his father, who had moved close enough to put his hand on his shoulder. Takuya flinched at the touch, but didn't move away from it. As much as he hated it, his dad was exactly who he was-his father...and Takuya had no choice. He sighed in defeat as he slowly let go of Kouji so that now they were only holding hands, and then squeezed Kouji's hands tight in a reassuring grasp as he let them go and slowly turned away-not looking back. He didn't think that he could look back.
Kouji didn't know what to do...he couldn't move. He just stood rooted to the spot as he watched while Takuya turned and slowly followed his father, head bent down...and he didn't look back. That was what got to Kouji right there and then.
"TAKUYA!" He called out his name, but Takuya still didn't turn around. Kouji made as if to run toward him, but that damned female officer from before put a gentle, but stern hand around his upper arm, restraining him from going after his koi.
"TAKUYA!" Again Kouji called out, and just before Takuya reached the other exit door-the one that his mother was standing at, and to Kouji's surprise, she was actually crying as well-turned around to look at Kouji. All Kouji wanted right then and there was too be held by Takuya-he wanted Takuya to tell him everything was alright...that everything was going to be perfect, that he didn't have to leave, that he wasn't going anywhere. He wanted Takuya to promise that all to him and never break it. Kouji found himself struggling a little bit, but the officer had a firm grasp on him and wasn't going to let go anytime soon.
"I love you." Takuya mouthed to him, before giving him a loving smile as he turned around-and walked out of Kouji's life...quite possibly forever.
Kouji felt himself fall to his knees, feeling his heart break as he watched Takuya walk out. He wanted to cry...he wanted to scream. But he also didn't want to do it in front of strangers. Sure, Ms. Kanbara wasn't a stranger, but still...he wanted his family. Where in the hell were they, hadn't they called his parents? Suddenly that was all Kouji wanted-that and Kouichi.
He heard Ms. Kanbara ask that exact question-if Kouji's parents had been called yet. When one of the officers said that it hadn't happened yet, Ms. Kanbara got angry. She immediately asked for a phone, and one was given to her as she was berating herself for not having her cell phone with her. Kouji heard her call his parents, he heard her telling him that they were on their way. He heard all of it, but it wouldn't register in his mind. He couldn't think...couldn't breathe. Suddenly he felt as bad as he did three weeks ago.
"Kouji? Kouji, are you alright?" Kouji managed to look up into Ms. Kanbara's kind brown eyes-ones that reminded him of Takuya's...and figured that Takuya resembled his mother more then he did his father. Somehow, between the daze he'd slipped in, Kouji managed to shake his head.
"We'll have to take him down to the station, it's probably safest for him to be there and a good place for his parents to pick him up." The female officer suggested gently, but Ms. Kanbara shook her head.
"No. Kouji won't cause any trouble until his parents get here...if you move him and put him in the back of one of your cars he'll flip out, and I don't think that's a good thing to have to happen right at the moment. Can't you see he's not feeling well?" Kouji felt himself smile inwardly. Ms. Kanbara was going into her overly protective mother mode at the moment. But as Kouji and Takuya had grown closer, Ms. Kanbara had actually grown quite fond of Kouji and even admitted that he and Takuya made a cute couple.
"Fine, but I don't have time to baby sit him." The cop snapped, loosing her patience with the whole ordeal, and Ms. Kanbara frowned.
"You won't have too, I'll look after him until his parents arrive." As the officer turned to regard this with her 'boss' that was hovering a ways away, Kouji felt Ms. Kanbara kneel down next to him.
"Kouji...oh Kouji...I'm so sorry, I really am. Oh Kouji, come here..." Kouji knew that Ms. Kanbara wasn't his mother. But at the moment, she was willing to give him what he wanted...comfort, and as she opened up her arms, Kouji accepted them as she pulled him into a tight hug, rocking him back and forth a little bit. Kouji squeezed his eyes shut to try and block out the pounding in his head, and the pain in his chest. He wanted this to be over.
"Kouichi...?" He murmured, and Ms. Kanbara nodded understanding his question.
"He's on his way Kouji...he'll be here with your parents...oh Kouji...I know how much you love Takuya...I know how much this hurts..." Did she really? In a way Kouji knew Ms. Kanbara did...mainly because Takuya was her son. But in a way that was different-or was it?
The time seemed to pass by all too slowly. Kouji felt himself slip into a restless sleep, as Takuya's mother stayed right there with him. He wondered why she was there in the first place-was it because she had found out that he and Takuya had tried to run, and had wanted to be there should something like this happen? Probably. The cops there had wanted to ask him questions, but luckily Takuya's mother fended them off, and Kouji felt grateful for that. All he wanted to do now was go home. No...correct that, that's not really what he wanted. But what he really wanted, he doubted he'd ever truly get again.
He didn't remember his parents arriving, his mother demanding to see him as Kouichi had immediately spotted him on the ground with Ms. Kanbara holding him, whispering soothing words to him. He had yet to cry he realized...as Kouichi dashed over to them, landing on his knees and glanced at Takuya's mother who nodded and released Kouji to the care of his twin.
"Kouji? Kouji, are you alright?" Kouichi murmured, holding him close as Kouichi's dark blue gray eyes darted over to where the officers were speaking with their parents. The twin's father and Kouji's stepmother had come, along with the twin's actual mother-who looked quite furious at the moment, and Kouji figured that as she was talking to the female officer, she'd just been told that the cops had had to hang around and waste their time waiting for them to show up because Ms. Kanbara wouldn't allow them to take Kouji down to the police station. The twin's mother wasn't mad at Ms. Kanbara at all...more or less she was angered because they hadn't been immediately called as they should've...and that it had been Ms. Kanbara to think of calling them in the first place.
During this time, Kouichi realized that his twin hadn't even shed a tear...and bit softly down on his lower lip. Kouichi knew that eventually Kouji had to let it all out...he couldn't keep it bottled up forever.
"Kouji? Say something please?" What Kouichi got, wasn't the answer he had been expecting. Kouji turned his eyes a little so that they were looking directly into Kouichi's, and Kouichi almost cried himself at the sad, clouded expression that lurked in those dark orbs that mirrored his own.
"He's...gone." It was all he could choke out as his emotions checked in then and flooded through him, and he turned and sobbed into Kouichi's shoulder, Kouichi comforting him as only a twin brother could.
With a meaningful glance at his parents, the twin's father came over and picked up Kouji as he used to do so when he was a little child, giving him a brief hug in the process of carrying him out of the building and toward the car, glad that his wife-Kouji's stepmother-had remembered to bring an extra coat for Kouji-his favorite zip up the front sweater actually, and had placed it over his son before heading out into the rain. As Kouichi followed his father, he found the female officer from earlier glaring at him, and he glared back in spite of himself.
"What?" He snapped, and the officer just shook her head.
"What are you two, twins or something?" Kouichi glowered and crossed his arms over his chest in an act of defiance.
"Yeah? So what, got a problem with that? Now if you'll excuse me, my brother needs me." Not knowing what the officer's problem was, he pulled up the hood of his coat and dashed out into the pouring rain to where he knew the car was parked. In all honesty, the officer hadn't had a problem with Kouichi being Kouji's twin at all...she had just been wondering...but it had ended up being the way she'd asked it, that caused the question to rub off wrong.
Kouichi got to the car just as his father was placing Kouji within the backseat, and as a look was shared between father and son, Kouichi climbed into the car afterwards, and the twin's father shut the door gently behind him. Nothing was said between the twins-nothing was needed to be said. Kouji, feeling miserable and emotionally drained headed into his twin's open arms with no protests, enjoying the warmth that radiated off of Kouichi as he suddenly felt quite cold and started to shiver, despite the sweatshirt his father had put on him.
Noticing the motion, Kouichi pulled a blanket from the very back of the suburban, and pulled it over his shivering twin. Kouji didn't say anything, only snuggled into the warmth of the blanket, and closed his eyes as the tears started to finally fall, leaning against his twin's chest, enjoying the comfort. The twins mother finally opened the back door and climbed into the third backseat, not saying much as the twin's father and Kouji's stepmother followed. As the twin's father started the car, Kouji sighed in relief and Kouichi glanced down at him but Kouji shook his head. He was finally going home...all he wanted to do was to crawl into bed and hopefully wake up and this would all be a horrible nightmare...Takuya would be sleeping next to him, and everything would be perfect.
Too bad life wasn't always made out to be perfect. Kouji felt his eyes start to close, and he gave into sleep willingly as his twin still held him close. He needed the contact at the moment...he felt cold without it. How badly he wanted Takuya to be the one to be holding him now instead of Kouichi. He felt himself start crying again, as Kouichi tried to soothe him, and he felt his mother's cool, gentle hand brush fallen strands of hair away from his face. Kouji half sobbed, half sighed as he turned over, burying his face in his twins chest. Lyrics of a song that he and Takuya had heard on the radio shortly after he'd gotten out of the hospital came rushing back to him, and Kouji realized that it fit his predicament quite well. He allowed the lyrics to play over and over again in his mind, as he fell once again into sleep. His dreams and nightmares focusing on the one person who would never be there for him again.
TBC