Seeing Isn't Believing
by Yami Yue

Chapter Four


I awoke as bright sunlight assaulted my eyes. Slowly I opened them. I was suddenly aware of a light weight upon my chest and I knew it wasn't Hiei's head resting there. To my surprise Sata was sleeping peacefully, with her head resting upon my chest. I felt her arm under my back and realized I'd pinned her there when I nearly fell last night. Gently I shook her awake. Sata slowly opened her eyes and blinked sleepily at me. "Shuichi?" she asked. "Yes." I replied. "What am I doing in bed with you?" she asked. "Your arm is pinned beneath me." I answered. She blinked again, seeming to try her hardest to take in the information. "Oh." She murmured at last, then rolled onto her back, allowing me to sit up and free her arm. Sata lifted her arm and placed across her stomach. Gently I took her arm in my hands and examined it. Thankfully my weight hadn't been enough to cut off her circulation. "It's a little sore but fine otherwise." She assured me. "How do you feel?" she asked. "Better I suppose." I replied as I laid back down. Sata looked at the clock with a yawn. "I'd better get going." She said. "I'll come by to check on you later." I nodded . She rose and left the apartment. I glanced at the clock and with a sigh I went into the living room to clean up the small mess left by the party. Once that was done I showered, dressed quickly and headed off to work. By the time the workday ended I was feeling awful. I wanted nothing more than to just get into bed and stay there. As the day passed I began feeling weaker and the thought of food of any kind made me sick to the stomach. I decided to walk through the park in hopes that being around nature would somehow make me feel a little better. Feeling tired, I sat down on a park bench and closed my eyes. I opened them again however when I felt Hiei's spirit energy. A smile spread across my face. It quickly faded when I laid eyes upon him. Though his face was expressionless as usual, his eyes were blazing with anger.

"What's wrong Hiei? You seem upset." I asked. "Why shouldn't I be?" he growled. "You betrayed me." I stared at him in confusion. "What?!" I exclaimed. "Hiei I have no idea what you're talking about." "Last night I returned to the apartment to find you snuggled up with the girl you claim is your friend." He responded. I paled, knowing exactly what he thought had happened. "You don't actually think we . . ." I began. I couldn't finish the sentence. Just as I feared he thought I'd cheated on him with Sata. I explained to him the best I could what had really happened. Hiei's expression didn't change. "It's the truth Hiei." I said, my voice sounding pleading to my own ears. "You are the only one I want. I love you no one else." "Sata's only my friend nothing more." Hiei crossed his arms against his chest. "Just how many friends have you taken to bed Kurama?" Hiei questioned, his tone cold and mocking. I narrowed my eyes at him in a sudden flash of anger. "I'll have you know I haven't even thought about taking anyone else to my bed since we've been together, much less do such a thing." I responded. "Inari Hiei, do you honestly think me that weak?" I asked. " . . . that I'd just allow myself to be seduced into another's arms like a common whore?" ". . . or perhaps you thought it was me that would do the seducing." As I expected he didn't answer, but by the way he looked at me I got my answer. In his mind I was the seducer.

My anger faded to sadness. "I would have never imagined you thought so little of me." I said solemnly. "You weren't known for your faithfulness before I met you , why should I have expected that to change?" He replied. His words were a blow strait to my heart, not to mention my pride. Granted not everything about me had changed when I aquired this human form but my sense of love and loyalty had. I felt tears starting to well up in my eyes. I rose swiftly deciding to leave before I did cry. "If that's how you feel, I'll stop wasting my breath. " I said softly. " I know when I'm not wanted." I turned and began walking away. Hiei didn't say anything to stop me, nor did he come after me. I didn't expect him to. "I guess it wasn't meant to be after all." I thought sadly as I headed home.

I arrived home feeling worse than ever. I wanted nothing more than to go sleep and wake to find that this day had been merely a nightmare, but I knew that was wishful thinking. I laid down on the bed and let the tears I was holding back flow. So this was what it was like to have your heart shattered into a million pieces by the one you adored. It made me feel even guiltier to realize that I must have caused such pain to those I'd left just as cruelly in the past and wonder if this wasn't some punishment for the hurt I caused. "Never again." I thought to myself. "Never again will I give my heart to someone. I'm through with love." I cried myself to sleep only to wake the next morning with a nasty headache, feeling sick to my stomach. I couldn't remember the last time I felt so bad. I called in sick, there was no way I was going to work in this condition. I closed my eyes, feeling totally exhausted. I realized I was worse off than I thought. I was sick, with no idea what it was, what caused it or how to cure it. I felt the first waves of sleep washing over me and decided to let it claim me. a knock at the door woke me. "Shuichi?" I knew the voice immediately. It was my mother. As I groggily opened my eyes I realized that my stepfather must have told her I'd called in sick. I heard the key being inserted into the lock and closed my eyes, in a vain attempt to fight of a wave of dizziness that overtook me. I opened them again when I heard her footsteps enter the room. "You're so pale." she murmured worriedly as she sat down on the bed. "Shuichi what's wrong? " she asked. "You don't look well at all." "I think ate something that didn't agree with me." I murmured. Gently she touched my cheek.

"You've been crying." She said softly. "Hiei and I had a fight." I told her. "We broke up." Mother's eyes widened. "What? . . . but he's crazy about you. What happened?" "He thought I cheated on him. When I tried to explain what happened he wouldn't listen." "My poor boy." she said softly. "I know you loved him very much." I sighed and closed my eyes. "I still do." I murmured. Mother chuckled as she gently stoked my hair. "I thought so." She said. "You'll need to straiten things out with him before it's too late." "I know." I responded. ". . . but I don't think he wants me anymore Mother. You should have seen the look in his eyes." "I don't think I've ever seen him so angry." "His anger will fade Shuichi, and when it does you'll have to talk some sense into him or loose him forever." Mother said. She was right, but I didn't know how to do just that. I just hoped it wasn't too late already. I didn't want to loose Hiei. "We'll find a way Shuichi." my yoko side assured me. "Even if we have to call upon every root, plant, and tree in the Makai to do so."