Sentiments of gip-k: -Hello, all. Welcome to the fourth chapter. As you can see, things are not going to well for those of the Kenshin Gumi right now. -_- I guess there isn't much more to say, except encouragement that you read on. ^_^ Hope you all are enjoying it- is that word rightfully used? ^^'
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Disclaimer: **squashes the crap disclaimer and then tears it to pieces** ^_^
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---Loss of Friendship---
I was severely vexed with myself and with everyone around me. Each time I saw Tsubame she was with Wuki- that shameless lout- and looked utterly sad. She laughed with him at times, though, and it seemed that even if she were getting better, the moment Wuki left her alone- as certain he would- she would be worst than ever before.
And then there was Sano. It seemed that our arguments had gone too far, this time…
Sano and I were sitting down at the table, eating, across from each other as usual. Sanosuke seemed somewhat better than usual, but I was in a flurry. Kenshin was outside, doing laundry he insisted that he needed to finish. So there was no one to stop us from arguing once more.
I don't know why I was so angry, and I don't know what caused the spark to erupt forth- the spark that would set a wildfire larger than I could ever imagine.
Somehow Sano and I got in an argument- about something, frivolous- useless.
Maybe it was because I'd cooked fish, that day. It had costs me quit a pretty penny- and it was the finest fish that I'd ever bought. I watched Sano eating it, waiting for his reaction. He seemed to be tasting it- trying to find out the odd thing about the seasoning.
"I think you put too much salt," he replied.
I was in a dark mood already, and I took his comment very seriously.
"No I didn't," I retorted snappishly.
"Yeah, I think you did."
"So," I said, my fury growing. "One day I put too little salt and you say 'oh the food is bland' and then the next day you complain about too much of this and too much of that! Why can't you ever just shut up and be grateful for something?"
I sat on my mat, fuming. Sanosuke looked at me intently.
"Why does it always seem like you're trying to pick a fight with me?" Sanosuke asked. "All I f***ing said was that the food was too salty."
"Oh, now I am trying to pick a fight with you?" I asked incredulously.
"You just don't get it, Kaoru."
That was another thing. Sanosuke had stopped calling my Jou-chan, or "Little missy". He had taken a habit of calling me just plain Kaoru. Whether or not I was upset with that, I don't know.
"What don't I get?" I retorted. "It's you who doesn't get anything!"
Sanosuke shook his head, muttering to himself. Finally, he looked up at me, his eyes ice cold.
"What you need to do is stop being such a b**** about everything all the time," he said. "Everyday, I am just going about my normal business, and it just seems like you have to pick a fight with me."
"No I don't!" I shrieked. "You are being ungrateful! Not only that, but you are always going to drink and gamble and do everything else that you do that is wrong!"
Sanosuke smashed his hand down on the table breaking it. I started for a second, but swiftly regained my composure.
"Damn, Kaoru," he said, obviously unable to hold his temper any longer. "Why the hell can't you just leave me alone? What the hell is this nonsense you keep saying?"
"It's not nonsense," I said, smoothly rising from the table. "It's the truth!"
"No it's not!" Sanosuke said. "Why can't you just get over yourself?"
"Because," I said coolly. "this is my dojo. And I can't take any more of your nonsense. If you want to live here, you need to abide by the rules."
"F***ing rules," Sanosuke said. "What rules?"
"First of all, you need to stop being so ungrateful about everything, and you need to show me a little bit more respect!" I retorted.
"And just what if I don't."
I stared down at Sanosuke with blazing eyes.
"Well, I guess you'll just have to leave," I replied curtly.
Sanosuke stood up, and glared at me.
"I don't think I heard you correctly," he said darkly.
"I said you'll just have to leave."
"I still didn't here you, Kaoru," he said nearly inaudibly.
"I said get out, damn you!" I yelled, my temper releasing itself in a flurry of heat.
My words seemed to echo throughout the entire house. Sanosuke stared at me for a long time without speaking, giving me the deadliest, darkest glare I had ever seen in my life.
"Fine," he said in a surprisingly quiet voice. "I'll go. I don't need to stay in this dump, anyways."
"Fine," I replied hotly. "Just leave."
With that, Sano stalked away in white hot fury- so strong I could almost feel the wind of it about to knock me down.
The house doors swung- they swung so violently they were nearly unhinged at Sanosuke's departure. I glared after him. Let him leave! He thought he owned the place, did he? Well then he'd have to find out otherwise.
I just stood in my place for a few moments, and then finally left the dojo, not caring about the broken table and unfinished food.
Kenshin was standing in his place, staring at me with a hurt look in his eyes. I stormed into my room, and shut the doors behind me. I paced, fingering strands of my dark black hair.
When I finally went back out, Sano had already packed. He'd put all his belongings in a sack, whatever they were, and was storming out of the dojo. He turned and looked at Kenshin.
"Bye, Kenshin," he said seriously.
Kenshin gave him a small, forced smile.
"Farewell, Sano."
It amazed me that Kenshin was not going to try and stop him, but then again, perhaps Sanosuke really meant what he said.
Sanosuke's eyes roved to me momentarily. They seemed to be glaring- yet sad, and searching for some sign of remorse in my expression. I just stared back at him. Then finally, he turned around and slowly opened the dojo door. It creaked a little. Then Sanosuke walked out and disappeared around the corner, not looking back.
That was when I realized I was hurting inside.
I let him go, though, the realization of Sano's departure not yet sinking in. I had thrown him out, and now he was gone. What to do next? What to do?
"Miss… Kaoru?"
I flipped around. Kenshin's voice. I realized, as I looked at him, that indeed we were the only two people left in the dojo. And the thought of that left me feeling empty. I could not ask Kenshin to comfort me when I had brought all of this upon myself, could I? Most certainly, I could not leave him alone, either. There was no further explanation to be given- Sano and I had had a fight, and now he was gone. I felt a wave of dismay and shame. Perhaps I should've done otherwise? I instantly squashed the thought. This event had been longtime coming. It was simply meant to be, perhaps.
But still, I stood there, frozen by the look in Kenshin's amethyst eyes, if they could be called that, now. They were all tinged with blue- nearly overpowering the purple.
"Yes, Kenshin," I choked.
"Are you sure that… everything is all right?" he asked uncertainly.
"O- of course, Kenshin," I replied in as steady a voice I could muster. "I'll be fine."
But I wasn't fine. I retreated to my rooms, my hands shaking as surely as the rest of my body. I sat down on my futon, and hugged my knees close to myself, wishing for a better life. At least I had Kenshin…
* * *
The next day, I went to town, Kenshin right by my side. I simply needed to escape the depression of being trapped in the dojo. We went shopping together. There wasn't much to buy- it was just the two of us, now.
I retraced my steps a bit so that we could pass by the Akebeko. I pretended that I was engrossed in my shopping, yet in truth my eyes were glued to the little shop- hoping and praying for some sign of Sano or Tsubame- or any of my friends at all.
To my dismay, no one was there. I tried to suppress my sighs- my disappointment, but it must have flashed across my face clearly, for Kenshin put a reassuring hand on my shoulder.
I looked back at him, and forced a smile, took his hand in mine, and we continued walking.
After our shopping was complete, we finally got back to the dojo, the shadows of night just starting to creep up on us. I fixed a quick dinner of rice and tofu, and we ate it in near silence. Well, I say near because Kenshin seemed to be trying to speak; he spoke about things he'd seen in the marketplace, but it was all frivolity that neither of us enjoyed or became truly interested it.
The night finally arrived, and Kenshin and I retreated to our separate rooms and beds. We both blew out or candles, and we both wrapped ourselves up in blankets.
The only unsure thing that I knew, was that one of us was sad and another heart-broken. I am quite sure that I was heart-broken. I curled up on my futon, tears rolling down my cheeks, depression settling in. I fought the urge to get up and run to Kenshin and sleep the night in his arms and cry on his shoulder- but it was of no use. How indecent that would be! And furthermore, I did not want to disturb him, so I slept a near sleeplesss, lonely night in my own dark room. Could things get any worst?
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gip-k's Post chapter Statements: -Um, that's the end. -_- I hope it was not TOO morbid. Yes, you are right. Sano got thrown out because of weeks of tension building between Kaoru and him, and Tsubame is still hanging out with that little prick Wuki. -_- So the question hangs over all of our heads… can things get any worst?
Here come my special thanks!
Tomoe2Kenshin
Hey, thanks for reading my story! I really, really appreciate that and I sure hope you liked it!
Crazed Fanatic Anime Fan
It's you again! ^_^ Thanks for reading my story- can't say that enough times already! I truly appreciate it!
Dee-chan
Hey, I am really glad you could relate to this story- that makes me really happy! ^_^
Female Hitokiri Battousai
One of my best friends! ^_^ Thank you for reading- you always read! Aack, you still right angst even angstier than mine! EEEK! I'll see you December 3rd! Hope you'll have had a nice vacation!
Brittanie Love
Top of the list, that you are. ^_~ I'm glad you like this story so much. :D That's why I've been keeping up with updates- there are so many people like you who I can't afford let down!
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