Sentiments of gip-k: -This is the chapter you all could not WAIT to read… I'm sure if it was time for you to eat, you would holler "JUST A MINUTE!" or maybe you'd have a seizure. ^_^ Either way, this is the 17th chapter of the story and the 2nd of Kenshin's return. ^_^

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Disclaimer: I don't own Rurouni Kenshin. It belongs to Watsuki Nobuhiro.

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---The Trying---

For some reason I did not run after Kazuma. He was now disappearing into the forests, but all I could do was stare after him, frozen in space and time. Kazuma… I thought to myself.

I turned and saw that Megumi and Sanosuke were almost all the way into the house with Kenshin. I ran after them as fast as I could- faster than I had ever run before.

"I need paper," Megumi said, looking frantic.

I blinked at her, then rushed into my room and brought back paper as Sanosuke was laying Kenshin down. His white coat was already blood-soaked from carrying him, and he was wiping his hands in an old towel.

I rushed into my bedroom and retrieved some paper. I handed the ink and paper the Megumi. She took them hastily.

"You," she said, pointing to Sanosuke. "I… need you to go get these things from my medical station. Quickly! Run as fast as you can."

Megumi scrawled something down extremely quickly, and shoved the list at Sanosuke. He just barely snatched it out of the air before he turned on his heels and ran.

"Kaoru!" Megumi screamed, calling me to attention. "Go boil some hot water." I blinked for a moment at her, still in a daze. "NOW!" I turned and ran just as quickly as Sanosuke and boiled the hot water. When I returned Megumi had already undressed Kenshin and was checking his wounds. I let out a gasp and nearly dropped my bucket of water.

His abdomen was covered in multiple gashes, and some of the flesh seemed to the point of breaking out. Megumi was trying to tie a towel around him to stop the bleeding.

"What happened?" I breathed, too shocked for words. I felt a lump of fear and agony growing in my throat.

"I don't know," Megumi said. Beads of sweat covered her forehead. "Something must have got him… a sword of some sort. But with something a hell of a lot worst than a Ryo Sui Sen. And from the cross-cuts I saw, he was hit repeatedly with whatever it was."

I nodded grimly, and Megumi continued on.

"The gashes are deep," she said. "I can't tell if his internal organs have been damaged yet, but I think a couple of his ribs could have been broken," Megumi grimaced. "I don't even know how he's alive right now. He's lost a lot of blood, and he might not make it. I'm willing to try, though, but I can't even start working until Sanosuke gets back."

I nodded. I could not think of anything to say… I felt… hollow.

In about five minutes, though the seemed like five years, Sanosuke had returned with Megumi's medical kit. She took it from him with a mumble of thanks and not a comment on his awesome speed. She was now engrossed in her work. Yet before she started, she looked up at us.

"It would not be any good for the two of you to stay here," Megumi said sternly.

I felt protest rising in me like a river. Megumi silenced me with her two eyes. I was now ready to shout her down, but decided to leave her to do her job. I turned around and walked slowly out of the door, too rattled to even look back. Sanosuke followed right behind me.

I slumped down unto the ground, heaving several sighs, shuddering slightly. I brought my knees up close to me and burrowed my face between them.

Sanosuke sat down somewhere beyond me, and he did not say anything for a while. We just sat in the agonizing silence, hoping and praying that Kenshin would make it. I wanted to jump right up and run into the house. I could not bring myself to, though. I could not allow myself to disturb Megumi's work… it was her job… I'd have to trust her to take good care of Kenshin.

When Sanosuke spoke, it startled me.

"I guess your boyfriend couldn't make it to dinner."

My head rose. Sanosuke looked at me. I searched his face for irony, but there was none… if anything there was sympathy. He was just making conversation.

I felt my eyes well up with sudden tears, like everything was suddenly piling on top of everything else…

"N- no," I said. "He couldn't make it."

Sanosuke nodded a little bit, and then went back to staring at the horizon. I buried my face in my hands, struggling to think… to stay calm and relax myself.

We stayed out there waiting, for what seemed to be an eternity. I could hear nothing from inside the house. The calls of the cheerful birds seemed to mock me, and the bright, sunny, and glorified sun and sky seemed to cast haughty and angered glares down on my pale skin. Sanosuke had somehow found and old fishbone and was chewing on it. I found myself staring at him as he chewed the bone slowly and carefully, as if deep in thought. Eventually he turned to me, and raised an eyebrow.

"What are you staring at?" he demanded.

I blinked and mentally shook myself. Why was I staring at him? I was loosing it.

That was the last straw. I felt like I missed something… needed it, but could not figure out what. I abruptly stood up, and Sanosuke's eyes took on a look of suspicion and slight alarm.

"Where are you going?" he asked.

"Somewhere," I said, turning my back on him and stalking off. Sanosuke, who had been about to stand, sat back down sullenly. I suppose he understood- how I did not know.

I walked away from the dojo and into the thick forests. I did not know exactly where Kazuma lived… I'd never seen the place. Yet he had described it to me once, and I had carefully stowed the skim directions in my mind in case I ever needed them. My mind concentrated hard, and my feet seemed to move on their own. Then I realized I was running…

I stopped abruptly when beyond some forest brush I had heard the sound of woodcutting. I felt my heart hammering away in my chest, and a large lump in my throat suddenly appeared just in time to choke off my hard breathing. I slowly pushed aside the branches with trembling hands. Then I stepped through.

Kazuma's house was very small… almost smaller that Katsu's apartment. There were some small bushes planted around it, and it looked like it had been touched up by a great deal of work. It was tiny, yet lovely in this strangest way. It was beautiful, with all its red roofing and brand new shoji.

Then my eyes fell on Kazuma… he was hard at work cutting some wood. He placed each one down, and then hacked it in half with all his might. He was not wearing a shirt, and I could see sweat glistening on his body. At each of the splintering sounds as he brought down the axe powerfully on the wood and cut it violently in half, I flinched. He looked… disoriented, and he seemed very upset- pure exasperation displayed itself on his pale, grim face. I had never seen him like that before.

"Kazuma," I said. My voice was but a small whisper on the autumn breeze, but the axe immediately fell from his hands. His head shot up, displaying his lovely sunshine brown eyes. They were filled with such an array of emotions that I could not tell how he felt upon seeing me, but the wide gape of his mouth showed that he was surprised.

Kazuma did not speak, though. Slowly, ever so slowly his mouth closed up and formed a thin line. His eyes seemed to cloud over with mist- their brilliance was soon replaced by a dull, almost grayish brown. Kazuma turned away from me, and with slightly shaking hands he picked his axe back up and began cutting.

I was in too much shock to comment on his reaction… his pained, agonized look cut through me like a sharp knife, and I felt as though I might collapse unto the ground in a lifeless heap. Yet I forced myself to walk slowly over to him. Kazuma continued cutting, but a slight flicker of his eye showed that he knew fully that I was there, and that he was effected by it. Kazuma turned his face farther away from me when I opened my mouth to speak, so I closed it. As I gingerly reached for his shoulder he threw the axe down and began picking up the wood he had cut to stack it up near the house. I followed him, still silent. Until finally, I spoke.

"Kazuma," he did not respond at all, just kept going on about as though I was still there. He still would not let me see his face. "Kazuma, listen to me. Kazuma please look at me." He continued avoiding me, until I almost had to trot to keep up with him. "Kazuma!" I finally caught one of his shoulders, and he flipped around, cold rage in his eyes. He recoiled as if bitten, and then pushed at me so hard that I was nearly flung to the ground.

"Go away, Kaoru," he said. It sounded as though he had wished to shout it out, but had no strength to.

I stared at him. His eyes were red-rimmed, and his nose was growing scarlet. He had been… crying.

Kazuma continued to stare at me, the grave, vexed look still present on his face. His eyes were more dull and colorless than ever.

"Why, Kazuma?" I asked, slowly approaching him once again. I touched his cheek gently, and he flinched. "I- I-" I felt tears growing in my eyes. "Why?"

Kazuma studied the ground hard, and I waited for him to respond.

"I saw the way you looked at him, Kaoru," Kazuma said in a barely audible voice.

"What are you talking about?" I asked incredulously.

Kazuma finally looked at me, and meant my gaze levelly. His eyelids were drooping. This did not look like Kazuma at all.

"I saw how you looked at that man… the wanderer," he said the last so quietly I barely heard him. He continued to meet my gaze. "You're going back to him, aren't you?"

I wanted to wrap my arms around Kazuma and hug him to me, and tell him that everything would be all right, but I couldn't.

"I don't even know if he's going to live," I said dully. "Besides-"

"Kaoru, the way you looked at him was… different," Kazuma continued on, gazing at me so hard I wanted to melt into the ground. "I know how you feel about him, Kaoru. You love him."

The words struck me hard, and I felt as though something had just tried to push me down. I stumbled backward a few steps, suddenly dazed.

"W -? How could you -? But-" I stammered about, unable to speak. "It's not true!" I finally managed to blurt out. "Kazuma I- you- you know that's- that it isn't- isn't the truth."

Kazuma walked up to me, and took my two hands in both of his. His eyes were some how shining despite their grayness.

"Tell me you love me, Kaoru," he said.

I stared up at him, lips trembling. He was waiting for me. I tried to speak, but my tongue would not work. I squeezed my eyes shut.

"Kazuma," I breathed out.

Kazuma let go of my hands and rushed away. I almost ran after him but I was frozen… trapped in my current position.

To my surprise, but not to my joy at all, Kazuma came back, holding his coat with him. He came back to me, and was reaching in his coat pocket for something. I watched him, still in a trance. He pulled something out- a small, dark wooden box. He took my hand and pressed the box firmly inside of it. It had my name in ink written on the top of it in flowing letters, and the outline of the words were carved around them.

"Open it," Kazuma said.

I did not protest, and with firmly controlled hands I popped open the small box. I let out a gasp.

It was a necklace, complete with pure gold chain, and with a small, round, golden medallion that hung from it. The medallion was all carved with flowers and grass, and a flowing dragon was included in the tiny picture. Tiny bits of diamonds were embedded between the lines, making the scene sparkle beautifully. On the back, were some symbols- the meaning of my name, and the word love, bravery, devotion and beauty. I was left speechless as I gingerly fingered the medallion. Its extreme beauty left me breathless… truly and totally breathless.

"It was…" Kazuma began. "…To be a wedding gift."

I looked up at Kazuma, whose face was glistening with fresh tears. I was too much in shock to cry, or react to him whatsoever.

"I love you, Kaoru," Kazuma said. "I really mean it… I want you to marry me." I blinked, and still found myself unable to speak. "But…" Kazuma added. He began to sob. "…I won't force you. I don't want to marry you if you… if you… you… love someone else."

I suddenly felt all of Kazuma's pain, and broke down into sobs as well. I wrapped my arms convulsively around him, and cried unto his shoulder. Both of us were soon wet with each other's tears, and both of us were shaking violently. We were barely able to hold each other up.

"I don't know what to say, Kazuma," I said, choked out. Kazuma was sobbing to hard to speak.

Finally, we released each other. I had to force myself to let Kazuma go, but I did.

"I… I can't keep this medallion, Kazuma," I said.

"No, it's yours forever, Sweet Grass," he said. "It would be a terrible dishonor to me if you were to return it.

I gave him a bare nod.

"I…" I suddenly broken into fresh sobs. "I'm sorry, Kazuma. I'm truly sorry."

Kazuma simply looked at me glumly, until I could bear it no more. Sobbing audibly, I rushed away from his house and back through the forest.

I cried all the way back to the dojo. Sanosuke saw me rushing back, and no doubt he did not know what was wrong with me. I rushed right past him into my own room. I closed the shoji, and then threw myself on to my bed, trembling convulsively as I wept into my pillow. Why did life have to be so hard?

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gip-k's Post Chapter Statements: -I surely hope none were offended. _ I tried my best to be realistic, and in the end, I hope I have not ruined my own story. I doubt that, though, for I am writing at my best. It was to be a sad story, but now I find my own self being saddened by it. It was meant to be…

Well, onto my special thanks.

Kakkabrat

I am thanking you again! You are really cool! ^_^

BubblyBoo

Hey, thank you for reading and reviewing past chapters. I appreciate that.

Crazed Fanatic Anime Fan

Thank you for the brownie! It's delicious. You've been enjoying the story, I see. I sure hope you enjoyed these two chapters, as well.

Chibi Fyrefly

Thanks for your review! It's very much appreciated. (Is happy that you heeded to the command sent via e-mail)

SaffDragon

Another old reviewer has returned! YAY! (Also heeded command through the e-mail). Thanks for reading!

Varina

You've been an excellent reviewer! I really appreciate you reading my stuff. Thanks a lot! (As you can see Kenshin did come back, but that may not be as bright and event as some people expected it to be)

Nina

Thanks for being so consistent with your reading. You did not have to ever read this story, but you did. Thanks for that.

Brittanie Love

You're a veteran reviewer like CFAF! Congratz! I am truly happy that you have been enjoying the story. No matter what you seem to say every chapter is perfect! I'm sure you'll say no less about this one.

Waterflash

You have not reviewed yet, but that's because I forgot to e-mail you! _ (oops) Thank you very much for reading this story, and I really like that you have enjoyed it so thoroughly.

Dragon Ladysupreme

Hey, thank you for all your reviews! I really appreciated them. Well, Kenshin's back now. He has not said much of his evil lingo, and I have a feeling that if you beat him up that much he would die, and then you would see how much Megumi's ointment can REALLY sting. Also a whack with Kaoru's bokken would be inevitable. ^_^ Also, thank you for giving me Sanosuke's coat.

Female Hitokiri Battousai

Hey, you're always reading and reviewing, my friend! You always read and review, and I really appreciate that. I surely hope you did not hate these chapters too much. _ I have a feeling if you do I'll have a heart attack. ;_; I'm doing my best, fhb.!

Phoenix Dagger

Your review has to be one of the most encouraging and BEAUTIFUL reviews I have ever gotten EVER. You said that reading my story cured your writers' block? All I can do is give the glory to God for the ability. Thank you VERY much for reading my story. I really, REALLY appreciate that.

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P.S. -Whoever gave me brownies that time (I have 121 reviews to keep track of so sorry) thank you! They were delicious! n_n-

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