Sentiments of gip-k: -Hello everyone. I don't really have much to say about this epic and unexpected 19th chapter, so I guess I ought to continue on to the story, right? ^_^

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Disclaimer: I do not own Rurouni Kenshin. This fanfiction has not been written to make any money on my behalf. Rurouni Kenshin belongs to Watsuki Nobuhiro, its writer/illustrator. The English Translations have now been copyrighted by Viz.

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---Alive---

So the days continued on, and I remained torn, trapped in a world where neither the man who I previously loved, or my friends, or Kenshin, still asleep in his bed, could reach me. Somehow I managed to survive, and even went to teach students at the other dojo when my money began slipping away.

I practiced more often, and practiced my calligraphy in the lonely depths of my own room. I tried to remain as happy as possible, but the pressure on my heart was too great. Finally, I decided to pen a letter to Kazuma to thank him for all he'd done for me… once again for the medallion.

I sent the letter away with a small boy who frequently visited the docks, and he promised to deliver it to Kazuma for me. I pressed a small coin in his hand, and he hurried away cheerfully. If only I could have such cheerfulness.

A week later, I received Kazuma's carefully thought of reply.

My dearest Kaoru,

My penmanship probably isn't as good as it could be. I have tried a long time to learn to write better before I wrote my letter to you. I understand. As I have said, all I wish for is your happiness. I am glad you like the medallion. Its hardly worthy of such a lovely creature as you, but it was the best I could give.

Then there was a change in handwriting , with more blots and mistakes, and it seemed more hurried.

I surely hope your samurai man recovers. Kaoru. I don't know if you will say yes to this, but it doesn't matter to me. I've lost enough already, I don't think I could truly lose anymore. Would you. There was a pause. Would you like to be friends, Kaoru? Just writing letters to each other like this? I know you cannot bear to see me again.

Well, I surely hope all remains well with you, dearest. Be sure to stay happy for me, Kaoru. If you don't, I believe that alone will take my life.

-Kazuma Zhang

My hands trembled as I held the paper. I scanned it with my eyes once more, and then threw it down unto my bed in my haste to get my own pen and paper. I immediately and quickly wrote down a reply.

Dear Kazuma

Oh yes! Yes. It would be wonderful to write you like this all the time. I am so glad that I have not lost you completely. I bit my lip. I wish that I could tell you how I feel right now, and I apologize if I can't give you as much as you have given me ever in return. Kenshin will get better, and it makes me happy. I'm glad you don't hate him, Kazuma- I'm glad you don't hate me. No… I am the one not worthy of your gifts, not the other way around… I really want to be friends, as much as I can.

I felt tears nearly come to me eyes as my being was flooded with sudden emotion. Please take care of yourself, Kazuma. I'd hate for anything to happen to you because of me. I paused. I will try to smile, and with you around I think it will be easier.

-Kaoru, everlastingly your Sweet Grass

I felt a good deal better after writing the letter. After letting the ink dry, I folded it neatly, sealed it, and put it away for later sending. I heaved a deep sigh- but not of sadness. Things were finally beginning to look up.

* * *

The next day I sent the letter off to Kazuma, for the first time feeling relief. I slept soundly every day after that. Until one morning, a bare three days after that, I was awakened abruptly…

The sound of the shoji doors opening noisily made my eyes burst open, and I nearly shrieked from the sudden sound.

In the dim of the morning, I saw Sanosuke's tall figure standing in the doorway.

"Pspt! Missy, you've gotta get up now."

I rolled over in my bed and moaned slightly at my sudden and rude awakening.

"Who- why -? Go-" I yawned suddenly. "-Go away," I stated, burying my face back into the softness and quiet of my pillow.

"All right, then, I'll just have to tell Kenshin that you're too tired to see him," Sanosuke said. I heard his steps going away from the door.

I almost fell back into lazy slumber, but my brain suddenly screamed. I sat bolt upright in the bed.

"What did you say?" I exclaimed. Sanosuke continued walking away. "Sano!" I yelled loudly, scrambling out of bed. I caught his arm. "Wait, please, don't tell him that," I said, suddenly fully awake. "Um- just let me get dressed."

Even in the darkness I could see Sanosuke grin.

"All right, Little Missy," he said. "Cross my heart and hope to choke."

I blinked. Sanosuke had a habit of really messing up quotes. I just nodded absently and rushed back into my room to throw on some clothing and splash water quickly on my face.

I was not the most presentable young lady when I rushed out of my room, but I had done my best. I nearly tore one of my slippers in my haste.

I slowed down upon entering Kenshin's room. Sanosuke and Megumi were both standing about his bed, but when they looked up and saw me they gave each other some strange looks, "amused" if I read right, and then abruptly left.

I stared down at Kenshin. He looked… better, somehow. His breathing was much less shallow than it had been, and some of the color was returning to his skin. He still had that gorgeous red hair spilling down his face, and I almost thought that he was still asleep.

"K- Kenshin?" I asked cautiously.

That head turned ever so little and the violet eye that was not covered with the bandage opened slowly.

"Miss… Kaoru," Kenshin said.

I was filled with bliss, and with a faster beating heart I walked closer to his bed and looked down at him.

"How do you feel, Kenshin?" I asked quietly.

A small smile turned the corners of Kenshin's mouth, and he looked at me, eyes shining. I almost felt like crying.

"Don't worry yourself over sessha," he said softly, and with much effort.

I felt the tears coming to my eyes.

"If you ever call yourself sessha around me again I swear I'll smack you silly!" I yelled, sniffling. I dabbed at my eye with my finger.

Kenshin looked abashed.

"All right, Miss Kaoru," he replied humbly. "S- I will try, that I will."

That I will… I thought absently. I felt like giggling. He was still the same!

I continued to gaze down at Kenshin, and he meant my gaze levelly… not at all the look of a man in pain.

I gasped a little when Kenshin lifted his hand- the bandaged one- and fingered the medallion that was hanging from my neck.

"It is very beautiful, I say," Kenshin said thoughtfully. "May I ask, my pardons, who gave it to you?"

I choked up. My head began to spin, and my tongue felt clumsy. My heart was beating faster than ever.

"K- it was- it was a gift from- from a friend," I stammered.

Kenshin's eyes seemed to go from hiding everything to being filled with emotion, and his good eye told me… I understand.

Now I felt like weeping anew. Here was the man I loved, confined to a bed, all gashed up, and he was concerned over me.

I gently took Kenshin hand away from the medallion and placed it on the bed. Before letting go, I squeezed it gently.

"You should… get some rest, Kenshin," I said. "Megumi said you are going to take a while to get well."

Kenshin smiled at me. This time my heart came perilously close to the breaking point.

"I will, Miss Kaoru," he said.

I turned to walk away, but Kenshin would not release my hand. I turned and looked back at him.

"Sessha- um, I appreciate what you have done for me, Miss Kaoru, that I do," he said with as much strength as he could muster.

With that, Kenshin's hand slipped away from mine, and the eye that I could see closed. Shortly after, his chest was heaving with the breathing of sleep.

"Oh, Kenshin…" I whispered softly to myself. Then I turned and walked out of the room.

As expected, Megumi and Sanosuke were hanging around out there, waiting for me.

"I gave him medicine to dull the pain," Megumi said gravely. "It has a strong side effect of sleep. I'm fairly sure he did not remain awake for very long."

I did not even nod, just studied the ground solemnly. I was surprised when Sanosuke put an arm around my shoulder.

"Hey, look up, Missy," he said.

Megumi came closer to me and spoke in a grim voice.

"If I didn't know right, I could have sworn that you were the one in pain and not the red-head samurai lying in bed," she said. Her eyes said, "We should talk when Sagara's gone… and fast".

I took Sanosuke's arm off my shoulder and regarded both Megumi and him with a weak smile.

"You two are too kind," I said, dabbing a tear from my eye. "But I'm afraid it's-" I paused to glance at Megumi directly. "-It's a bit personal. I guess seeing Kenshin lying down there in that condition just upsets me a little. He works so hard for Japan and he doesn't get anything in return! It makes me so angry."

I realized I was talking bitterly, and was perilously close to tears.

"Hey, Missy, just think about what you said right there," Sanosuke piped in. "He does have something."

I looked at Sanosuke quizzically, and his eyes twinkled knowingly.

"What are you trying to -?"

"Okay, fine," Megumi said, throwing her hands in the air. "Let's just admit it. You first, Sagara."

"Nah, fox lady, you first," Sanosuke replied with a grin.

Megumi looked flustered.

"Hey, I thought we -?"

"Okay, what's this about?" I demanded irritably. "And you go first, Sano."

Megumi looked triumphant, but very abashed. Sanosuke gave me a momentary glare, and then kicked away a bucket. He put his hands in his pockets.

"We were watching you and Kenshin," Sanosuke said. "Erhm, peeping in on you, kinda."

I looked at Megumi and Sano's embarrassed faces, and nearly laughed, but then decided to give them a very hard time.

"You two should be ashamed of yourselves!" I yelled. "Peeping in at people! What's- well none of it's your business. The two of your are penalized. I am not cooking any dinner or washing any dishes in this place for three days. If you don't like it, then you can just not eat and have nice beds to sleep in for three days! Do I make myself clear?"

"Hey, but I have to take care of-" Megumi began. I quieted her down with the serious look in my two eyes. "Oh, all right."

"I am not-" Sanosuke began. He was not silenced by the look in my eyes, but he sure piped down. "I don't like doing cleaning, Missy."

I grinned at them.

"Well you'll have to make due," I said.

* * *

That week went very well. I continued to write letters to Kazuma, and he expressed joy when I stated that Kenshin had awakened, and said he'd laughed aloud when he had heard about the incident with Megumi and Sanosuke. I felt a little heartbroken when he stated that he missed me a lot, but I was cheered up when he stated that he was having a lot of fun writing to me. He said that he was also expanding his house, earlier in the letter, that was, and that all was going well.

Meanwhile, Kenshin was progressing, even though it was slow. Megumi and I took turns helping him eat and take care of himself. He seemed more than a little embarrassed at the fact that two women were having to bathe and clothe him, but when he tried to get up and do something for himself, Megumi and I shouted at him with nearly hysterical loudness, and pushed him back down into the bed. He never tried to do that again.

I had also asked about Kenshin's left eye, and whether maybe he might be blind in it. I was quite happy when Megumi stated that that was not at all likely, and that the only problem was the gash and the large burn on that area. That could have gotten infected, but Kenshin had been able to prevent it. The only problem now would be a scar on that area of his face, but Megumi treated that with care in the hopes to prevent it.

I spent a good deal of time with Kenshin, sometimes reading to him, or singing. He seemed to enjoy those, and Megumi herself had said I was "better medicine than any drug" to him. I had not been able to reply- so shocked and flattered was I by the statement- I almost thought it might have even been true!

I was becoming happy again, regaining my prime happiness. Sanosuke kept watch at the dojo all the time in case some "loser from Kenshin's past" would try to harm him or us while Kenshin was unable to fight back.

So all was well, and for the first time in a long time, I was at complete and total peace.

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gip-k's Post chapter Statements: -I guess it still was not a very "cheerful" chapter, but things are starting to look up, I suppose. The relationship between Kaoru and Kazuma is still strong, but they're just only friends, now. Kenshin is recovering, and Kaoru is deeply in love with him, but has decided to keep it secret for a while. She continues to wonder how Kenshin feels about her, and wishes to speak her heart, but fears to.

Here do be my special thanks.

Crazed Fanatic Anime Fan

Hey, CFAF! I'm happy you enjoyed the last chapter! What do you mean "uninspired"? What -! (Smacks CFAF on the head with something) Get your writers' block cured and get your little arse unto the field! ^_~

Varina

Thank you for your review! I really appreciate you reading my story. Oh, and you're welcome for the candy. ^_^

Dragon Ladysupreme

Yes, I see your clones. (Gasps) That is a bit freaky. What if you accidentally made multiple Togoru's or something? O_O

Oh, and BTW, I am a bit surprised that you didn't coo over the candy like Varina? Has your sugar craving been healed? (Yeah right ^_^)

Ethereal Waves

Hey, thank you, too! ^_^ I'm sorry for waiting to update for so late in the day. Erhm, got busy.

Brittanie Love

Yes, almost! But we've still got some way to go! ^_^ Thanks for reading and reviewing faithfully since the beginning!

JuhFreak

Yep, I remember you! Thanks a lot for reading this story, even though you're not into anime. :D

Moonlight Wolf

Hey, thank you for your review! I always enjoy seeing new reviewers/readers.

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And to the rest of you, I don't thank you read the latest chapter! ;_; But that's okay! It was my fault for failing to e-mail you and tell you I had updated. So for any who I forgot or who have not reviewed, thank you!

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