Disclaimer: I do not own Artemis Fowl or anything it is affiliated with.

Okay, finally updating again. Sorry, I've been doing Potter 1-shots and been rather distracted. Hope you enjoy. If you like it, review. If you don't like it, review anyway! :-P

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            Artemis found his mother and Juliet both waiting up in the entry for him when he got home.

            "Arty!" his mother said, throwing her arms around him.

            "Mother, please!" he said, embarrassed. He saw Juliet and Butler grinning just out of his mother's eyesight.

            Juliet mouthed silently, "I want all the details later!" and then said aloud, "I'm tired. G'night, everybody."

            "Goodnight, Juliet," responded Butler.

            Artemis glared and nodded just barely perceptively. He would be up to see her later. He owed it to her that much to tell her everything that had happened.

            Juliet glided upstairs.

            Butler said his goodnight to the two Fowls and went upstairs too.

            "What happened, Artemis?" asked Mrs. Fowl, letting go of her son at last.

            "Well, we went to the show, discussed it at dinner, and then Butler and I drove her home." He brushed imaginary dirt off his fingernails. "If you'll excuse me?"

            "Oh. Yes," she said, obviously disappointed. Why didn't her son want to talk to her? she thought. "Will you be going out with her again?"

            "It is probable that we will be seeing more of each other."

            "Arty, am I ever going to get to meet this girl?" she asked.

            Artemis thought silently, Not if I can help it. But instead he said, "Maybe next time, Mother." He briefly kissed her on the cheek goodnight and went upstairs to talk to the Butlers.

            He went to Juliet's room and after knocking came in and sat on the chair. Juliet was seated cross-legged on the bed. "My brother said he wasn't going to wait around and listen to gossip," she grinned. "So, tell me everything."

            "Well, she looked stunning. You were right when you warned me that she wouldn't be ready when I got there."

            "How was she dressed?"

            "What?"

            "It's very important. Did she dress to impress you?"

            "She was dressed nicer than the only other time I've seen her. Maybe she was trying to impress me. Impress me how?"

            "Well, if she was wearing something that was extremely conservative and you can't even see what she looks like really, then she was trying to impress you with her lack of caring what you thought about her appearance, or trying to get you to concentrate on her mental capabilities. If she dressed in something that showed off her more feminine physical attributes she was trying to attract you by looking her best."

            He tried to consider which category Alyssa's dress would fall under. "She wasn't showing a lot of skin or anything," he said finally.

            "You don't have to show a lot of skin in order to show off. She could have been wearing something really skintight and clingy."

            "It wasn't that clingy."

            She gave an exasperated sigh. "I want Holly here."

            "Why?" he blinked.

            "Because I need another girl's opinion in order to make you understand half of what I'm saying and she seems to be the only other one you'll talk to. What about the guys in her life?"

            "Guys in her life?"

            "Her dad and brother or brothers."

            "Her father was out of town. Her brother didn't seem to hate me, he was probably only 8 or so. The rose went over well."

            "Good! I knew it would. Were there any major problems?"

            "I ordered for her."

            "Bad idea. You only do that if she asks you to."

            "I realize that now. The girl is a bottomless pit. She eats like a pig."

            Juliet laughed. "Okay, okay, what about that 'miscellaneous' category of yours?"

            "We held hands during the show and when we walked."

            "And the goodnight kiss?" she teased. "Did you kiss her?"

            "Well," he hesitated. He changed his mind, this was Juliet and she'd been a big help to him. "I walked her to the door holding her hand, and just as I was about to leave, she grabbed me and kissed me."

            "How was it?"

            "Short and sweet."

            "Good. Perfect for a first kiss." She was quiet a moment. "Well, congratulations, young Fowl, you survived your first date." She shook his hand in a businesslike manner.

            "Her mother doesn't know who I am," he said suddenly.

            "What?"

            "Alyssa introduced me as Junior, the son of a prominent businessman, who was being driven around by his cousin Boris."

            "Hmm, I wonder why?" she mused, lying back so that she was propping herself up on her elbow.

            "The Fowl name is notorious. How would your family feel if you were dating a criminal? She didn't think hers would approve."

            "I suppose I can see her point."

            "But eventually she's going to have to tell, isn't she?" asked Artemis.

            "Well, it all depends on how long you date, how often you see each other, how serious things get, and how inquisitive the mother is. She might want to have a family dinner with you and your parents. If her mom wants a dinner, then either Alyssa has to come clean to her or you have to ask your parents to lie."

            "We'll cross that bridge when we come to it."

            "Do you think there will be another date?"

            "I'm almost certain."

            "Great. So many first dates don't go well."

            "With you and Holly giving me advice, how could it not go well?"

            Juliet grinned.

            "Goodnight, Juliet. Thanks again for all your help."

            "Your welcome," she said. It was one of the few times she'd ever heard him thank anyone.

            Mrs. Fowl was standing outside Juliet's door listening to her son talk to Juliet. She almost cried. Her son finally had a friend he could confide in! She was very grateful that her little Arty had taken Juliet into his confidences. Fortunately for Artemis, his mother had left and stopped listening just after the talk about his kiss (so she missed all of the stuff about the somewhat false pretenses of who Alyssa's mother thought Artemis was).

            Mrs. Fowl went off to bed that night feeling much relieved. Her little boy had at least one good friend.