A Psycho's Analysis




~ Hmmm... You fell asleep in 'his' arms... dancing... with the stars overhead... on a Cruiser... with your mom watching... Oh, Kami-sama! Your mom! What are you going to do? She's going to be ecstatic. You are going to have a lot of explaining to do... Oh, yippee... Just hope this day doesn't drag out like all the rest! ~

"Okaasan, you sleep too long!" A voice shouted as a crushing weight hopped on me. "Okaasan, get up!"

"Imumf," I mumbled, stretching.

For once, I felt completely rested and ready to face the day.

"Oi, ya up yet, Kag."

...Or not...

"Kag?" I repeated dumbly, confused at the sudden nickname.

I opened my eyes to see a smugly smirking Inuyasha holding a peeved Shippo by the collar. I glared at the singer and he promptly dropped him. "Ne, I haven't been called that since... ah... Since the fourth grade."

"Long time," he muttered. "Now get up! It's breakfast time." Okay, it may have just been me, but Inuyasha sounded like a little school boy, cheering the way he was.

I snorted, then yawned. "All right, I'm up... Shippo-chan, did you brush your hair?" I asked, eyeing his muffled, rusty brown hair.

"Hai, but Dogboy ruffled it up," he pouted.

"He did?"

"I was trying to play around a little bit. Ne, cut loose once in a while," he chuckled. "We wrestled and he won."

I snorted again, silently laughing. "You come up with the strangest stories."

"It's the truth," he huffed, mimicking Shippo's pout.

Um... And I thought yesterday was strange...

Oh boy... Today was going to be a LONG day...

******


A few catcalls ringed from the table my 'friends' occupied as I walked in with Shippo and Inuyasha, who stayed a few steps behind.

I blushed furiously, glowering at the group. Shippo muttered in confusion and Inuyasha stomped up to bop Miroku and Kouga on the head and glare at the girls. They quieted, but didn't quit.

Mrs. Sasayaku, Mrs. Taijiya and Rin sat at a table, watching the scene with interest. Shippo hopped away to chatter mindlessly with Rin... No seats were left... I... lost my appetite.

Growling once at Sango and sharing greetings and farewells with the adults- the true adults- I left to walk around the boat aimlessly. Half way up the stairs to the top deck, I heard footsteps and looked back.

"Nani?"

"Just wasn't hungry," Inuyasha mumbled, smirking. "Care if I join you?"

"Not at all. I could use the company," I said, smiling softly. "Ah... Arigatou... for last night, I mean."

"It was nothing. You're a natural, really," he replied, a smile tugging at his lips. "Ne, I take back what I said about you and Kikyo."

"Eh?"

"You are nothing like her... You smile. She never smiled," he explained. "That's why I..."

His voice trailed off as a thoughtful expression set.

"Nani, Inuyasha?" I encouraged him to speak.

"Oh, nothing," he murmured, waving the question away with an innocent smile, immediately reminding me of Miroku. "Forget it."

::::::Silence::::::


It was different, the silence wasn't awkward like usual. Instead, it seemed to fill in the gaps quite comfortably. I was content to walk around, listing to the waves and my love's footsteps...

...Oh hell no... I didn't!Ididn'tIdidn'tIdidn'tIdidn'tIdidn'tIdidn'tIdidn'tIdidn'tIdidn't!

I did...

I actually admitted my feelings for him... To myself, that is...

'My love's footsteps, huh?' I thought silently, watching Inuyasha from the corner of my eye with interest.

He glanced over. "Nani? Do I have something on my face?"

"Iie," I responded, smiling. Then an idea struck me. "Chotto! I have an idea! Let's pass time with a game," I cheered.

"Like what?"

"Let's psychoanalyze each other," I suggested.

"Psychoanalyze?"

"Hai! It's like the question thing we did in the balloon, only on things like favorite foods and first dates. Like that, see? Then we make a diagnosis based on the answers we're given."

"Sure," he sighed, not too enthusiastic.

"It must be the truth, too. No lying," I scolded.

He smirked as a sudden thought came to mind. "All right. Sounds good to me."

"O...kay," I mumbled, a little frightened to the sudden change. 'Just what have I gotten myself into?'

"Um..."

"I start," he stated. "First question: What are your favorite pass-times?"

"Word games. Yours?"

"Books."

"Favorite books?"

"Mortal Fear by Robin Cook and Interview with the Vampire by Anne Rice. You?"

"Sister Light, Sister Dark by Jane Yolen and Wild Magic by Tamora Pierce."

"Fave Color?"

"Blue. Light blue with a hint of lavender. You?"

"This whole time you've known me," Inuyasha began with a disbelieving look, "and you still don't know?"

"Keh. Like I pay attention," I grumbled, mockingly. "Red, right?"

"Keh. Hai," he snorted.

"Type of movie?"

"Action!" he shouted, cocking his head to the side and making a gun from his hand. "BANG!"

"Argh," I grunted and faked a shot through the chest. "How could you?"

He snorted again, chuckling silently. I sobered.

"Not only do you sound like a thunderstorm," I muttered, "but you make an excellent gun shot."

"Arigato, miss," he said, suavely, tipping his unseen hat. "How 'bout you?"

"Comedy," I laughed as he rolled his eyes.

"And you made us sit through Relic," he sighed. "Strange, strange, strange... Anyway! First date?"

"Oh... Um... That... Yeah," I mumbled, blushing and looking away. "I never... had one..."

To my surprise, Inuyasha didn't laugh. But, boy did the look in his eyes get on my nerves!

"I just never met the right kind of guy, okay!" That was not a question, mind you. I looked away again and huffed, "School kept me busy and the boys at my school were gross."

"And me?"

"Totally different."

"Glad to hear."

"So, what about you?"

"Some girl named Yura," he chuckled. "She had a thing for my hair. Believe it or not, she became our group's professional hair dresser. Weird, ne?"

"Very," I mumbled. "Vices?"

"Um... Bubble gum, books, and sunglasses- which have suddenly come up missing."

"Ne, I think I may have a pair for you," I told him.

"Hmn. Well, you?"

"Vices...? Hmm... Friends, books, gaijin films, anime, Internet, and cleanliness... Which reminds me, I need a bath later," I thought aloud. "Next question."

"What did you mean by 'progress'?" he smirked inquiringly.

'Oh shit,' I thought, shocked. "I can't believe you did that to me."

"Your rules. Truth. Now," he commanded.

"This isn't the kind of question for th-"

"You didn't forbid this kind of question, either though," he reminded me smugly.

"You are such an ass," I said teasingly. "And really clever when you care to be... 'Progress' was referring to kissing. Sango-chan was afraid houshi would laugh at her because she never kissed anyone before," I explained. "'Progress' referred to her getting kissed by Miroku and NOT having any problems."

"Then progress for us?"

My heart leapt at the simply put question. 'Us.' Oh, that sounded so sweet. Too-good-to-be-true kind of sweet. And I loved it.

"Meant did I get my first kiss or not," I answered, blushing lightly.

"First?" he mumbled, wide eyed. "That was your first?"

I nodded.

"You think I kissed someone that wasn't my boyfriend?"

"Iie..."

"Inuyasha... I... You ran because I didn't kiss back... didn't you?" I asked hesitantly.

"...Hai..."

"Gomen, but you pulled away before I could even think coherently again," I told him. My blush deepened drastically as I realized what I had said. "...Let alone kiss you back..."

"I didn't want to drown you before I knew what you thought," voiced Inuyasha, grinning. "But... I don't have to worry about that now."

Once again, I found myself in his embrace. It happened so abruptly that I had squeaked on accident, making his grin even wilder; the look in his eyes became much more predatory like, leaving me slightly nervous. I glared at him defiantly and tried to use my hands, which rested on his chest, to pull myself away. His grip- gentle, though it was- remained firm and unyielding, making me glare all the harder.

"Oh, come on, Fangirl," he sighed in mock exasperation, "you didn't act this way with Kouga."

"I wasn't squashed against him, either," I hissed. "Plus, I returned that unpleasant little favor, remember?"

"Hai..."

His eyes took on a more mischievous glint as he smirked, a plan obviously brewing in his overworked brain.

Slowly, he closed the distance between us. I leaned back slightly, narrowing my eyes suspiciously. Yet, he didn't do anything, save for kiss me...

Oh, Kami-sama... And I thought it felt like fire underwater. Fire was not a fair comparison. It was extraordinary. A gentle kiss with feeling enough to tell me that I had a chance- and a very good one- to win his heart.

This time I had time to kiss him back and that is just what I did. I leaned closer, slightly hesitant... I had a feeling that he was going to do something and I'd never live it down, whatever that happened to be. 'Might as well take my chance,' I thought, deepening the kiss- not in the sense of 'frenching'. I'm just not the kind of person to start that.

A few moments later, he pulled back, grinning smugly.

"I always knew the nick fit," he chuckled. "So... Whose turn to question?" he asked.

"Eh..? I..." I looked away from him as we began walking again. "I... Forgot..." He snorted. "Chotto! It's not like you remember," I huffed indignantly. "After all, you asked."

"Then I get to ask the next one," he stated matter-of-factly. I shrugged. "How was it?"

"How was what?" I wondered, puzzledly.

"The kiss," he uttered, arrogant as could be.

"Which?" I asked, my face already heating again.

"Both."

"You said kiss."

"Alright then, how were the kisses?"

"Can't change the question."

"Never said that in the rules."

"Well it is in the rules!"

"How was I supposed to know?"

"BECAUSE!"

"Because why?"

It rather amazed me that he hadn't shouted at me, not once, through that whole thing. It also made me even angrier. Anyway, onto my reluctant answer.

"They were..." I smirked and blushed at the same time, coming up with a round about way of saying how I felt. "Indescribable."

"That's not an answer," he grumbled.

"But it is my answer," I told him. "What was it to you? Like every other one you had?" I asked, hating the thought, but hey, I had to know!

"Keh! Of course," he snorted.

"Honto?" I asked, both skeptical and hurt by the response.

"Iie," he muttered looking away. I smiled. 'So childish...'

"I won't push any further," I mumbled, taking a deep breath. "So, doctor Inu, what's my diagnosis?" I asked, mockingly.

"...You need to get out more," he chuckled. I slanted him a flat look. "What 'bout mine?"

"Hmm... Kinda hard to say," I thought aloud. "Never have I met someone with so much arrogance. Nor have any of my patients had the courage to kiss me and speak bluntly... My overall diagnosis is... You are a complete weirdo."

"At least mine was a little helpful," he stated with a grunt. "Ne, I'm suddenly hungry again."

"And an utter pig."

"Plus, I did call you any names," he said, frowning as he looked at me... and walked straight into an open door.

"In addition to being totally blind."

******


We ate together, the kids pestering us non-stop. Shippo informed me that 'Aunt Eri' had said that my mother- his grandmother- wished to speak with me. I sent him off to tell his grandma that I'd be there in a moment, after I finished lunch.

Sighing as I finished, I pushed the tray away. Leaning my elbows on the table and resting my head in my hands, I grumbled my reluctance at having a 'meeting' with my mom. I knew what it was all about and I was in no particular mood to put up with it.

"Why don't you want to see her? It's not like she's gonna lock you in a room for disobedience," the ever-knowing Inuyasha uttered.

"Knowing her, that's what she'll do," I sighed. "Lock me in a room, drain out all the information, then reprogram my memory to say I did no such thing."

"Always so realistic," Inuyasha chuckled in sarcasm. "Is it really that bad?"

"Hai. She'll want to know everything... Every last detail."

"You ought to tell her now," Inuyasha said, yawning as he leaned back in his chair.

"I suppose you're right," I muttered, standing to leave. "I have to do it sooner or later... Though I wish I didn't have to."

"Too bad for you, huh Kag?" he mused, laughing at my glare. "Ja."

"Ja," I sighed, walking to the captain's cabin.

I stood before the door for a time, steeling myself for the onslaught I knew would occur as soon as the door opened. Taking a deep breath, I grabbed the door handle and jerked it open.

And my welcome, you ask?

Simple.

Questions... Questions, questions, questions, and more questions.

'Just great...'

******


After explaining to my mom everything that had happened- between the band and my trio, but nothing personal, relationship wise- I left. She was so happy about Shippo that she had called him in there immediately and began going over plans of 'Things to do With my First Grandchild' list. I kinda felt sorry for the kid, but hey, it got me outta there and onto my... amusing life. I still had a feeling that I shouldn't have left my son with the hyper woman and my feelings were confirmed by a pitiful whimper emitting from Shippo as I left.

Shaking my head pitifully, I joined Sango at a poolside table.

"So...?"

"She knows the whole story."

"Oh..."

"Yeah..."

I got up and moved over to join Ayame and Kouga at their table.

"So...?"

"She knows the whole story."

"Oh..."

"Yeah..." Total deja vu, there... Creepy.

Anyway, I sighed and walked over to check on Miroku, who had been literally `slapped silly' while I spoke with my mom. He sat on the ground, mumbling and staring at the sky with crazed eyes.

"Oooo~ookay," I hissed inwardly, nervous as to how he was acting. It kinda scared me. "Umm... Miroku?"

"...*mumble*..."

"Y-you okay?"

"...*mumble*..."

"Chotto, snap out of it!"

"...*mumble*..."

"HOUSHI!" I screeched.

"...*mumble*... *grumble*..."

I took one, long, deep breath, raised my hand and hollered. "HENTAI!" And wouldn't you know it, I did it BECAUSE his hand found my rear, NOT because he was still in a stupor....

***SLAP***

***THUD***


I stared bewilderedly at the fuming Sango that stood beside me, her fist in the air.

"Houshi," she ground through clenched teeth. "Keep your Kami-sama forbidden hands OFF of Kagome-chan."

I think he returned to normal, seeing as how he had quit mumbling.

"I'll keep the touching just for you," he purred- oh, how creepy 0.o;- with starry eyes. "I just didn't know you felt that way, my dearest Sango."

"Mi-ro-kU!" she shouted, chasing after the retreating lecherous drummer. "GET BACK HERE THIS INSTANT!"

"T-That's alright, Sango dear. You-I just forgot to do something, that's all," he called over his shoulder, disappearing behind the wall.

This was just about the time I noticed a figure lurking in the shadows... With a VERY evil smirk....

"Eep!" Sango squeaked before going silently...

***SPLASH***


"Oh, shit!" I cried, sprinting toward my friend.

Whatever just happened, it didn't sound good... And that figure's evil smirk turned to one of humor and satisfaction. I'd get to him later.

I rounded the corner to find a hysterical Sango totally freaking out. She was pale and wide-eyed with peering into the water.

"Oh Kami-sama, Miroku! Gomen nasia!" She shouted. "Someone get a rope or Life line or something, onegai. HURRY!"

One of the men in the gathering crowd ran to fulfill her request with a confused expression, mumbling. He happened to walk right passed me too, so I- duh!- heard everything.

"First they kiss, then she throws him overboard, now she wants to save him," he muttered. "Kids these days! Can't they make up their damn minds!"

I turned my attention back to Sango and saw she was... holding back tears. Whether they were from happiness for the kiss or from fear for the drummer was beyond me. But Miroku seemed fine. He calmly swam in the water, shivering slightly... And I just had to comment.

"Looks like the fire died pretty damn fast," I shouted. Miroku looked up, blinking. "It must be a nice change for you." He glared and flipped me off. "Chotto, houshi, that's not really 'houshi-like' of you. Plus, San- san'll warm ya up later, right San-san?"

My friend stared at me as if I had two heads. "Who are you and what have you done to Kagome-chan?" she mumbled... And slowly realization dawned on her. "I MOST CERTAINLY WILL NOT!"

She turned on her heal, forgetting about the drowning man, and stormed away.

A Life Preserver was thrown into the water and Miroku grabbed it for dear life as he was tugged back onto the cruiser. A towel was handed to him from a stranger and he walked to the nearest table, smiling to himself.

"So," I began as I took a seat near him, beckoning the shadow man over to sit with us. "How was it?"

"How was what?" he asked innocently.

"I know what happened," I stated simply. "How was it? Does Sango-chan have to worry about you ragging on her?"

"Oh, that," he said, like suddenly he remembered everything. "Why would she have something to worry about?"

It was at this point Inuy- I mean, the shadow man joined us.

"Because she has never kissed anyone before," I told him. "Ne, she thinks that, since you are such a lech, you would tease her about her 'inability' to kiss."

"She did wonderfully considering how surprised she was," he beamed. Speaking so blatantly spooks me out.

"Plus," Inuyasha added, grinning from ear to ear, "Miroku here has never kissed anyone before, either."

I nearly chocked, I tell you. I mean, really, Miroku, never kiss anyone. Alright, now that was plain creepy. A lech like that had never kissed a woman- minus his mother, grandmother, and yucky old withered aunt that pinched his cheeks- is unheard of.

"Your joking!?"

"Iie," Inuyasha chuckled.

Miroku looked a little betrayed, glowering at his friend. "Seriously man, your cramping my style," he pouted.

"What style?" we asked mockingly. We laughed as his expression turned even more boyish- tear filled eyes and all, but all playful, I swear!

"Onegai, Kagome, don't tell her," Miroku plead.

"I don't think she would care," I said. "She might feel better about kissing you."

"Onegai, don't."

"But-"

"Promise me!"

"Fine."

'Damn, there goes all of my fun...'