Don't Let Me Get Me
**********************************
Everyday I fight a war against the mirror
I can't take the person starin' back at me
I'm a hazard to myself
**********************************
A ray of light pushed past the frail light blue curtains of the girl's room and drifted over the sleeping girl's face. Violet eyes flicked open and then slammed shut again as the bright sun invaded her senses, groaning Mai rolled over with her back to the annoying substance as she drunkenly came too. Rubbing the sleep from her eyes she squinted past the sleep and glanced at the small clock on her nightstand and then let out a small whimper as she sat up.
Her tangled blond hair fell around her as she stood up irked that she had allowed herself to fall asleep dressed and now rolled her eyes when she noticed she smelt worse then a cat in an ally way did. Slipping out of her clothes and dumping them into the clothes hamper she headed to her bathroom and began to run a warm bath. She sank into the soothing water and let out a sigh and a small smile.
She ran a wash cloth over her long legs and around her chest making sure she was clean, she may be a slob at times but she hated smelling like something the cat dragged in. She reached over and grabbed the shampoo and started to wash her hair humming calmly and thinking of the dream she had the other night.
It had started like any other dream, a circle of people around her laughing at her and mocking her along with the sick and rude comment's men and teenage boys alike hollered at her. Everything started to spin as she sank to her knees and cried out for the noise to stop with her eyes shut tight and her hands over her ears as it got louder and louder. Snickers and taunts, jeers and insults flew though her mind like a deafening sound that plagued her.
A hand on her shoulder made her eyes fly open and the crowd of people were replaced by nothing but a white light, like a spot light that was on her. She put her own hand on the one that held her shoulder, scared to look she tore her eyes from the light and to the owners hand and saw Keith with his normal cocky smirk.
He pulled her up gently and took her in his strong arms. Mai smiled weakly and let a stray tear roll down her cheek resting her head on her friends chest and feeling safe and warm in the embrace the noise of the crowd died down to a mere whisper that was soon replaced by a calm wind that ruffled their hair.
"I could have handled it you know" a smile still lit her face.
"I know but I wanted to be the one to save you" Came Keith's voice. Mai jerked back to reality when she got a mouth full of soapy hair; spluttering the girl splashed water in her face and rinsed out her hair before stepping out of the bath tub and wrapping a long towel around herself. 'I really DO like him...' her mind told her.
She leaned on the sink and looked at the mirror, which showed someone totally different to how she felt. The mirror showed a beautiful, confident and very fiery girl but inside she was hurt and damaged, confused and even a little scared. She glared at herself and was glared at by the reflection. Growling in hatred she dug her nails into the palm of her hands and gasped when she drew blood.
"What am I doing?" she shook her head and sank to the floor hugging her knees to her chest allowing wet hair to cling to her pretty face and dangle over her eyes.
There she staid until the air had dried her body and she felt like she could face the false rejection the mirror offered to her. She looked at herself once more, sighing she went back into her room and got dressed. A pale blue skirt, white top, dark blue sleeveless jacket and black and blue arm warmers. She sat at her small mirror and placed on makeup. She felt it was like her mask, put on a pretty face and hide behind it.
Once she had dried and brushed her hair she opened her draw and pulled out a wad of cash, counting each note she smiled and rolled it up and placed it in a small hip bag she put on. $300's all collected from the girl's hard work and pains. Today was the day she was going to leave this hellhole and become the girl she was deep down. Strong and independent.
She grabbed her book bag and took a few things out such as her CD player and CD's and stuffed them into another bag along with some clothes her duel monsters cards and a few other things she felt she needed. She was an amazing duellist but sometimes she had to rely on cheap tricks to get what she needed such as a few bucks here and there and some cards that would do her some good.
Flashbacks if her dream overwhelmed her and she got a sharp ping in her heart, she had to tell Keith about how she felt before she got up and left everything. At least if he didn't share said affections then she'd never have to see him again. With that thought in mind she swung open her window and clambered down the drainpipe making it look simple to any spectator.
Not even looking back at her home she ran as fast as she could and the faster she ran the more thoughts of that horrible place and people started to slip her mind as she got ready to admit her true feelings to her only friend. Rushing past people with her bag over her shoulder every word that had been said by the people calling out to her faded away as she came to the park.
Looking around for her friend she almost slipped on the wet grass, cursing under her breath she glared at a man who was pretty much raping her with his eyes. She hated the park nothing but bums and perverts the only reason she was here was simply because Keith always came here to get away from his own home life's issues.
"Looking for someone?"
In her haste and fear she turned around and swung at the person with her fist, she squealed a little when she was yanked forward and pulled against someone. For an instant her walls fell around her and she cried out scared that the person who had grabbed her was going to cause her harm, her eyes were closed in a vain attempt to stop tears.
"Hey, hey calm down Mai!"
The figure shook her a little trying to get the stressed and hysteric girl to calm down. Mai opened an eye and then both, violent eyes met blue ones and she just cried out and clung to the boy sobbing in frustration. Keith blinked and put his arms around her patting her back and stroking her hair softly wondering why the girl was so distressed.
************************
Don't let me get me
I'm my own worst enemy
It's bad when you annoy yourself
So irritating
Don't wanna be my friend no more
I wanna be somebody else
*****************************
Mai let the last of her tears run down her face still hugging Keith for all she was worth, the tears subsided to small sobs and then to sniffles. How could she just burst into tears? She was normally so good at hiding anything. Walls were hard to keep up when your mind kept running into a dead end with thoughts that were a heavy burden.
Keith stroked her long damp hair and tried to calm the girl resting his head on hers and letting the young woman sob to herself. He closed his eyes and just enjoyed the moment where the girl he had feelings for was safe in his arms even If she wasn't happy at that moment. He knew something was wrong and he wouldn't stand by and watch her cry any more.
"Mai.." He pulled away a little.
Mai blinked unshed tears and looked up at the men with confusion and then blushed when he brushed her tears off of her soft cheek with his hand before cupping her chin a little. His smile made some of the darkness inside of her subside to a weak cry of pain. Mai never really noticed in all the time she knew Keith just how blue his eyes were, his wearing shades didn't help the notice factor either.
"Y-yes?" She coughed out.
"What's wrong? Please tell me"
She looked down and held his hand in hers before letting out a shaky sigh and pulling him over to the bench, both sat down and silence remained dominate for a few moments. Mai was trying to collect her thoughts and wasn't really aware that she still held Keith's hand in hers, it must have offered her some comfort since her tears had dried where they had trailed down her face and none new dared to strike.
"I've decided I'm going to run away" She said in such a small voice.
"I'm not even going to ask why since I know" Keith squeezed her hand in reassurance.
"I have money and I don't know where it is I'm going to go but anywhere but here"
"I don't like the sound of that" He frowned.
"But why?"
"You all alone out there? Mai as much as a kick ass girl you are you won't be able to make it all alone out there"
"I..I don't know any more" Mai looked down at the floor and sighed when Keith pulled her against him.
"There's something I have to tell you before you high tail it out of here.."
"Not before I tell you something" Mai butted in and took a deep breath.
"I think I love you"
She had said it so fast it came out in a blur of jumbled words that she was sure the other had no idea what she had just blurted. Keith blinked a little and chuckled he had made the last part out and he was glad she felt the same way. He leaned over and kissed her gently on the lips, taken aback Mai blushed but responded none the less. Mai's mind was spinning but this time not with thoughts and worries but with thoughts of new outcomes and possibilities.
"So I guess you feel the same way?" She asked once the kiss was over.
"Right babe" he smirked when he saw the look of happiness on his friends face.
She allowed herself to smile but deep down she felt he was worth more then to have her as any thing other then a friend. Mai wasn't sure If they should take their friendship to the next level 'why would he want me when he could have anyone else? Someone better? Someone so much more worth his time? Someone other then me' she thought and sighed.
"Mai, I know what your thinking.. Or near enough to it and I hope you know I only want you"
The girl looked in his eyes and saw he was telling the honest to god truth and that touched her after all Keith wasn't honest to anyone else other then her. That was what made it final she wanted to be with him even if that meant staying in this hellhole she would manage it, for him and for them.
"Should we.. become.... An us?" He nodded and pulled her into a hug.
"Yes, and you know what? I'm gunna come with you so I know you'll be safe and it would make me feel a lot better to be there with you then have you walking around with a huge neon sign saying 'RAPE ME' above you" He laughed a little when Mai playfully hit him.
"You REALLY want to come with me?"
"Well yeah would I have said so other wise?" Keith watched as his newly acquired girlfriend stood up and brushed herself down.
"Then I guess you should go pack hmm? We can do that now and then catch the first train out of here"
The plan was set now and there was no stopping Mai. She was a few train rides away from being free and away from all the people she hated and the one person she cared for was going to be with her every step of the way. Or at least she hoped he would, she mentally glared at her self-doubt and pushed it away but knew it would always be there.
They set off for Keith's and normally pairs would hold hands but in all truth neither had ever really been with someone they cared about. Keith didn't date and Mai just dated people to get things she wanted but this time it was different and she was lost at just what to do but then again neither were really the mushy love types. Mai sat on the wall and looked at a small flowerbed while she waited for Keith to come out of his house.
"Ok I got what I needed now lets scram"
"Right!"
The train station was only a 10-minute walk away and it didn't take them long to reach the place. The girl sighed when her tummy rumbled making her blush when Keith looked at her with a questioning gaze. They were in line to buy the train tickets and were almost at the front. Mai blinked and looked at Keith mouthing the word 'what?'
"Hey babe, I'll get the tickets you get us some grub and we meet over there when we're done alright?" He nodded to a pillar.
"Ok" She kissed him and ducked under the red rope and made her way to a small sandwich bar.
She hummed happily and picked a few sandwiches and two muffins, she then looked for the sodas and grabbed two bottles. Despite what she was about to do she felt good and no regrets came to her, what was there to regret anyway? Nothing. Paying for the food she carried the bag to the pillar where Keith was already standing waving the train tickets.
"When do we leave?" She asked taking a bite of her sandwich and handed the other to Keith.
"Not long now we leave in... " He glanced to the clock " aboooout 15 minutes"
"I can't wait.. think in 15 we will be out of here and starting new lives" Mai smiled and carried on eating her sandwich even more hungry then she first thought.
It didn't take too long till they were both sitting on the train getting ready to leave, Mai had her headphones on and tapping her finger on the pole she held onto with the beat while Keith leaned back with his eyes closed. The train jumped to a start and soon was running through its tunnel out into the land and running over it fast. Trees and hills flashed by the window in blurred colours and textures.
'Not long now' she kept thinking to herself 'not long at all' she started to drift off to sleep with her music in her ears and her kois arm around her as she leaned against him. Who knew what they would find when the train stopped what sort of life they would have and where they would go. They didn't have much plan of action or even a map to their names but that's what made this interesting and more of an adventure and a trip of self- finding.
The girl knew trouble would lie ahead but she also knew many good things would come of this, she would become a duellist and make her way in life and she hoped that Keith would be there along side her. Deep down she knew this wasn't to last forever but she was going to enjoy it up until the very last day and she would make a name for herself and show everyone what she was really made of.
No more Mai Kajaki there was only a Mai Valentine from now on. A new name to go with a new life and one that wasn't going to be traced by her worthless father or anyone else she had left behind with that awful man and that bitter home of hers. The train carried on and carried her deeper into her sleep, sleep she would need for she still had a long way to go.
Now she had escaped the people she hated so much and escaped the place she hated all she needed now was to escape herself. A thing that was impossible but she could always hope and lie to herself she was someone else but deep down she'd know the truth. Maybe one day when she was older she'd be free of herself and be someone she would find worth while.
Till then.
She was who she was and that had to be good enough for her. She could always change a few things and that's what she knew she'd have to settle with, she'd never tell Keith this he would only worry about her. Mai smiled in her sleep and snuggled closer no matter what was ahead of them she'd never forget this time, the time she spent with him and the times that were to come.
Good or bad.
~The End~
**********************************
Everyday I fight a war against the mirror
I can't take the person starin' back at me
I'm a hazard to myself
**********************************
A ray of light pushed past the frail light blue curtains of the girl's room and drifted over the sleeping girl's face. Violet eyes flicked open and then slammed shut again as the bright sun invaded her senses, groaning Mai rolled over with her back to the annoying substance as she drunkenly came too. Rubbing the sleep from her eyes she squinted past the sleep and glanced at the small clock on her nightstand and then let out a small whimper as she sat up.
Her tangled blond hair fell around her as she stood up irked that she had allowed herself to fall asleep dressed and now rolled her eyes when she noticed she smelt worse then a cat in an ally way did. Slipping out of her clothes and dumping them into the clothes hamper she headed to her bathroom and began to run a warm bath. She sank into the soothing water and let out a sigh and a small smile.
She ran a wash cloth over her long legs and around her chest making sure she was clean, she may be a slob at times but she hated smelling like something the cat dragged in. She reached over and grabbed the shampoo and started to wash her hair humming calmly and thinking of the dream she had the other night.
It had started like any other dream, a circle of people around her laughing at her and mocking her along with the sick and rude comment's men and teenage boys alike hollered at her. Everything started to spin as she sank to her knees and cried out for the noise to stop with her eyes shut tight and her hands over her ears as it got louder and louder. Snickers and taunts, jeers and insults flew though her mind like a deafening sound that plagued her.
A hand on her shoulder made her eyes fly open and the crowd of people were replaced by nothing but a white light, like a spot light that was on her. She put her own hand on the one that held her shoulder, scared to look she tore her eyes from the light and to the owners hand and saw Keith with his normal cocky smirk.
He pulled her up gently and took her in his strong arms. Mai smiled weakly and let a stray tear roll down her cheek resting her head on her friends chest and feeling safe and warm in the embrace the noise of the crowd died down to a mere whisper that was soon replaced by a calm wind that ruffled their hair.
"I could have handled it you know" a smile still lit her face.
"I know but I wanted to be the one to save you" Came Keith's voice. Mai jerked back to reality when she got a mouth full of soapy hair; spluttering the girl splashed water in her face and rinsed out her hair before stepping out of the bath tub and wrapping a long towel around herself. 'I really DO like him...' her mind told her.
She leaned on the sink and looked at the mirror, which showed someone totally different to how she felt. The mirror showed a beautiful, confident and very fiery girl but inside she was hurt and damaged, confused and even a little scared. She glared at herself and was glared at by the reflection. Growling in hatred she dug her nails into the palm of her hands and gasped when she drew blood.
"What am I doing?" she shook her head and sank to the floor hugging her knees to her chest allowing wet hair to cling to her pretty face and dangle over her eyes.
There she staid until the air had dried her body and she felt like she could face the false rejection the mirror offered to her. She looked at herself once more, sighing she went back into her room and got dressed. A pale blue skirt, white top, dark blue sleeveless jacket and black and blue arm warmers. She sat at her small mirror and placed on makeup. She felt it was like her mask, put on a pretty face and hide behind it.
Once she had dried and brushed her hair she opened her draw and pulled out a wad of cash, counting each note she smiled and rolled it up and placed it in a small hip bag she put on. $300's all collected from the girl's hard work and pains. Today was the day she was going to leave this hellhole and become the girl she was deep down. Strong and independent.
She grabbed her book bag and took a few things out such as her CD player and CD's and stuffed them into another bag along with some clothes her duel monsters cards and a few other things she felt she needed. She was an amazing duellist but sometimes she had to rely on cheap tricks to get what she needed such as a few bucks here and there and some cards that would do her some good.
Flashbacks if her dream overwhelmed her and she got a sharp ping in her heart, she had to tell Keith about how she felt before she got up and left everything. At least if he didn't share said affections then she'd never have to see him again. With that thought in mind she swung open her window and clambered down the drainpipe making it look simple to any spectator.
Not even looking back at her home she ran as fast as she could and the faster she ran the more thoughts of that horrible place and people started to slip her mind as she got ready to admit her true feelings to her only friend. Rushing past people with her bag over her shoulder every word that had been said by the people calling out to her faded away as she came to the park.
Looking around for her friend she almost slipped on the wet grass, cursing under her breath she glared at a man who was pretty much raping her with his eyes. She hated the park nothing but bums and perverts the only reason she was here was simply because Keith always came here to get away from his own home life's issues.
"Looking for someone?"
In her haste and fear she turned around and swung at the person with her fist, she squealed a little when she was yanked forward and pulled against someone. For an instant her walls fell around her and she cried out scared that the person who had grabbed her was going to cause her harm, her eyes were closed in a vain attempt to stop tears.
"Hey, hey calm down Mai!"
The figure shook her a little trying to get the stressed and hysteric girl to calm down. Mai opened an eye and then both, violent eyes met blue ones and she just cried out and clung to the boy sobbing in frustration. Keith blinked and put his arms around her patting her back and stroking her hair softly wondering why the girl was so distressed.
************************
Don't let me get me
I'm my own worst enemy
It's bad when you annoy yourself
So irritating
Don't wanna be my friend no more
I wanna be somebody else
*****************************
Mai let the last of her tears run down her face still hugging Keith for all she was worth, the tears subsided to small sobs and then to sniffles. How could she just burst into tears? She was normally so good at hiding anything. Walls were hard to keep up when your mind kept running into a dead end with thoughts that were a heavy burden.
Keith stroked her long damp hair and tried to calm the girl resting his head on hers and letting the young woman sob to herself. He closed his eyes and just enjoyed the moment where the girl he had feelings for was safe in his arms even If she wasn't happy at that moment. He knew something was wrong and he wouldn't stand by and watch her cry any more.
"Mai.." He pulled away a little.
Mai blinked unshed tears and looked up at the men with confusion and then blushed when he brushed her tears off of her soft cheek with his hand before cupping her chin a little. His smile made some of the darkness inside of her subside to a weak cry of pain. Mai never really noticed in all the time she knew Keith just how blue his eyes were, his wearing shades didn't help the notice factor either.
"Y-yes?" She coughed out.
"What's wrong? Please tell me"
She looked down and held his hand in hers before letting out a shaky sigh and pulling him over to the bench, both sat down and silence remained dominate for a few moments. Mai was trying to collect her thoughts and wasn't really aware that she still held Keith's hand in hers, it must have offered her some comfort since her tears had dried where they had trailed down her face and none new dared to strike.
"I've decided I'm going to run away" She said in such a small voice.
"I'm not even going to ask why since I know" Keith squeezed her hand in reassurance.
"I have money and I don't know where it is I'm going to go but anywhere but here"
"I don't like the sound of that" He frowned.
"But why?"
"You all alone out there? Mai as much as a kick ass girl you are you won't be able to make it all alone out there"
"I..I don't know any more" Mai looked down at the floor and sighed when Keith pulled her against him.
"There's something I have to tell you before you high tail it out of here.."
"Not before I tell you something" Mai butted in and took a deep breath.
"I think I love you"
She had said it so fast it came out in a blur of jumbled words that she was sure the other had no idea what she had just blurted. Keith blinked a little and chuckled he had made the last part out and he was glad she felt the same way. He leaned over and kissed her gently on the lips, taken aback Mai blushed but responded none the less. Mai's mind was spinning but this time not with thoughts and worries but with thoughts of new outcomes and possibilities.
"So I guess you feel the same way?" She asked once the kiss was over.
"Right babe" he smirked when he saw the look of happiness on his friends face.
She allowed herself to smile but deep down she felt he was worth more then to have her as any thing other then a friend. Mai wasn't sure If they should take their friendship to the next level 'why would he want me when he could have anyone else? Someone better? Someone so much more worth his time? Someone other then me' she thought and sighed.
"Mai, I know what your thinking.. Or near enough to it and I hope you know I only want you"
The girl looked in his eyes and saw he was telling the honest to god truth and that touched her after all Keith wasn't honest to anyone else other then her. That was what made it final she wanted to be with him even if that meant staying in this hellhole she would manage it, for him and for them.
"Should we.. become.... An us?" He nodded and pulled her into a hug.
"Yes, and you know what? I'm gunna come with you so I know you'll be safe and it would make me feel a lot better to be there with you then have you walking around with a huge neon sign saying 'RAPE ME' above you" He laughed a little when Mai playfully hit him.
"You REALLY want to come with me?"
"Well yeah would I have said so other wise?" Keith watched as his newly acquired girlfriend stood up and brushed herself down.
"Then I guess you should go pack hmm? We can do that now and then catch the first train out of here"
The plan was set now and there was no stopping Mai. She was a few train rides away from being free and away from all the people she hated and the one person she cared for was going to be with her every step of the way. Or at least she hoped he would, she mentally glared at her self-doubt and pushed it away but knew it would always be there.
They set off for Keith's and normally pairs would hold hands but in all truth neither had ever really been with someone they cared about. Keith didn't date and Mai just dated people to get things she wanted but this time it was different and she was lost at just what to do but then again neither were really the mushy love types. Mai sat on the wall and looked at a small flowerbed while she waited for Keith to come out of his house.
"Ok I got what I needed now lets scram"
"Right!"
The train station was only a 10-minute walk away and it didn't take them long to reach the place. The girl sighed when her tummy rumbled making her blush when Keith looked at her with a questioning gaze. They were in line to buy the train tickets and were almost at the front. Mai blinked and looked at Keith mouthing the word 'what?'
"Hey babe, I'll get the tickets you get us some grub and we meet over there when we're done alright?" He nodded to a pillar.
"Ok" She kissed him and ducked under the red rope and made her way to a small sandwich bar.
She hummed happily and picked a few sandwiches and two muffins, she then looked for the sodas and grabbed two bottles. Despite what she was about to do she felt good and no regrets came to her, what was there to regret anyway? Nothing. Paying for the food she carried the bag to the pillar where Keith was already standing waving the train tickets.
"When do we leave?" She asked taking a bite of her sandwich and handed the other to Keith.
"Not long now we leave in... " He glanced to the clock " aboooout 15 minutes"
"I can't wait.. think in 15 we will be out of here and starting new lives" Mai smiled and carried on eating her sandwich even more hungry then she first thought.
It didn't take too long till they were both sitting on the train getting ready to leave, Mai had her headphones on and tapping her finger on the pole she held onto with the beat while Keith leaned back with his eyes closed. The train jumped to a start and soon was running through its tunnel out into the land and running over it fast. Trees and hills flashed by the window in blurred colours and textures.
'Not long now' she kept thinking to herself 'not long at all' she started to drift off to sleep with her music in her ears and her kois arm around her as she leaned against him. Who knew what they would find when the train stopped what sort of life they would have and where they would go. They didn't have much plan of action or even a map to their names but that's what made this interesting and more of an adventure and a trip of self- finding.
The girl knew trouble would lie ahead but she also knew many good things would come of this, she would become a duellist and make her way in life and she hoped that Keith would be there along side her. Deep down she knew this wasn't to last forever but she was going to enjoy it up until the very last day and she would make a name for herself and show everyone what she was really made of.
No more Mai Kajaki there was only a Mai Valentine from now on. A new name to go with a new life and one that wasn't going to be traced by her worthless father or anyone else she had left behind with that awful man and that bitter home of hers. The train carried on and carried her deeper into her sleep, sleep she would need for she still had a long way to go.
Now she had escaped the people she hated so much and escaped the place she hated all she needed now was to escape herself. A thing that was impossible but she could always hope and lie to herself she was someone else but deep down she'd know the truth. Maybe one day when she was older she'd be free of herself and be someone she would find worth while.
Till then.
She was who she was and that had to be good enough for her. She could always change a few things and that's what she knew she'd have to settle with, she'd never tell Keith this he would only worry about her. Mai smiled in her sleep and snuggled closer no matter what was ahead of them she'd never forget this time, the time she spent with him and the times that were to come.
Good or bad.
~The End~
