Saying 'Sayonara' to a Dream
~ Well, this seems to be it... 'Dogboy' sleeping, 'his' head in your lap, with a frown on his
face. 'Houshi' had a sleeping 'revenge' in his hands and 'wimpy wolf' had his 'naive'. Everything
seemed right, except for the fact that this was one of the last times you'd ever see 'your band'-
unless watching a tv or being at a future concert. With that in mind, the scene was straight out of
one of those horror flicks. Ne, just when you think the danger's gone, the bad guy comes back to
life and yells and chases you around before he trips himself and falls on his own double-bladed
axe? Well, in this film, the bad guy came back and chopped into the credit screen without letting
you say anything more then 'farewell'. This film was no film but really life, so why does it have to
be so... surprising...? I'll tell you why. You finally solved The Question. 'What's the purpose of
life?' The answer? Look next to you. You'll see... Yup, that's it... Isn't it ironic, though...? After
you solve the riddle, you lose.
~It's unbelievable that it's all coming to an end, though. Take a deep breath, girl, you're
going to need the extra air... You know... Life sucks, so do something about it!~
"Myouga..." I sighed, my eyes watering. I tried shaking Inuyasha awake. "Inuyasha, wake
up. It's time to get the show on the road."
He was out cold.
Miroku woke Sango and Kouga carried Ayame, leaving for the awaiting limo. With them
gone, I turned back to Inuyasha, lifting his head from my lap so I could get eye level with him. I
didn't want to wake him, seeing how peaceful he was there. I couldn't leave without saying
goodbye.
I wiped away my tears, biting my lip. "Inuyasha, wake up. It's time to go; Rin's waiting for
you."
He grumbled, rubbing his eyes. "Ima(now)?"
"Hai, ima, Inu-kun," I spoke softly, smiling when he stood, eyes still closed.
Carefully, I guided him to the limo, watching as Myouga pulled it around to a stop in front
of the doors for us.
"It's too soon..."
"Sh, Inuyasha," I whispered. "I don't want to have the girls crying the whole way there,
okay?"
He nodded, climbing into the back seat sullenly. I followed after him, taking my spot in the
back with Inuyasha. Sango was talking to Ayame, Kouga with Miroku. I didn't join in either
conversation. Instead, I leaned on Inuyasha's shoulder.
"Inu-kun?"
"Hai?"
"Whose idea was it to have me sing?" I asked, toying with a lock of his hair once again.
"Sesshomaru's," he responded quietly.
"Sesshomaru's!? You're joking!" I shouted, everyone looking over to me. I smiled and
waved dismissively. "Really?" I whispered. "When?"
"After you left with Sango and Ayame." He kept his voice low, running a hand through my
hair lightly. "He acted a bit... different when you three left. What did you talk about?"
"It's a secret," I told him, laughing when he sighed dejectedly.
"Secret... Sesshomaru told you a secret?"
"Hai," I chirped, smiling up at him.
He shook his head, grinning. "Well," he started, dropping his hand from my hair to wrap it
around my waist and pull me against his side. "What are you going to call that song of yours?"
"Nani?" I asked, shocked at the sudden question. "I hadn't thought about that..."
"Think about it then, alright?" he chuckled, resting his chin on my head.
"Okay," I whispered, closing my eyes.
The limo rolled on, jumping every now and then on the dirt road. Myouga wasn't a very
good chauffer; he swerved too suddenly too many times. But, he was taking a little unnecessary
time to get there, so I wasn't going to complain. I was actually thanking him in my head, smiling
outwardly.
"So, Kagome-chan, how was it?" Sango asked, looking at me sadly.
"How was what?"
"Up on stage," Ayame stated, looking to me past Kouga.
"... I... can't explain," I muttered, looking at my hands which fisted in the fabric of my
'Demonic' shirt.
"Try to," Sango ordered. Ayame nodded.
"Well, it was frightening at first, but... After a while... I sorta, ne... belonged there," I
answered. THAT answer was going to hurt me in the future, I'm sure.
"Sugoi..."
"Miroku," I called, smiling when he looked to me. "Kouga," he looked over also, grinning
his grin. "Inuyasha," I whispered, pushing away from him so I could look at them all. Everyone
remained silent for a while, waiting for me to speak again. I smiled. "Arigatou," I said, my eyes
softening. "For everything. Especially putting up with me and my... less than like-able sense of
humor," I giggled. "And..." I looked down. "And... staying with us and making the best of it- even
in the hospital. I'm glad you were all there for me."
"Keh, we didn't have much of a choice," Inuyasha grumbled, sticking his nose in the air in
the most arrogant way I'd ever seen. I jabbed him in the side playfully. "Ite," he yipped, giving a
sheepish grin. "Gomen. Couldn't help it."
Everyone laughed lightly, enjoying the light joke in the midst of all the mess we found
ourselves in. Sango leaned against Miroku, talking quietly and swatting his wandering hand away
before it reached her. Kouga rested his head on Ayame's head, taking her hands into his, talking to
the silent girl. I didn't listen in, watching Inuyasha watch me.
I glared, he glared back.
*GLARE*
"Jerk."
"Wench."
"Baka."
"Bitch."
"Bastard!"
"Fangirl!"
"DOGBOY!"
"HAS-BEEN!"
"WANNA-BE!"
"NEVER-WAS!"
"DUMB, SELF-CENTERED, SON OF A-"
"WITCH!" Sango screeched, covering up my unnecessarily foul language.
I glared at Sango, keeping my eyes on Inuyasha. Inuyasha grinned. Sango sighed. Miroku,
Kouga, and Ayame chose to follow her example. I hissed at them, yipping when Inuyasha pulled
me to his side.
"Kagome," he whispered in my ear.
"Hm?"
"Don't go."
My slowly closing eyes shot open as my heart beet faster, a small involuntary gasp escaping
me. I didn't expect him to start this until we were at the jet.
"I have to."
He said nothing else, closing his eyes. I didn't like the silent behavior he was exhibiting.
However, I remained quiet, calming my heart. Just as it finally went back to its former, steady
beet, the car stopped.
'No...!'
Kouga was first to get up, leaving with Ayame behind him and Sango behind her. I followed
Miroku, Inuyasha reaching for my wrist. "Don't."
"Inuyasha," I scolded, shaking off his hold. "I'll talk to you AFTER I see my mom and
Shippo-chan."
He looked away.
My mom was already on the jet, talking with Mrs. Taijiya and Mrs. Sasayaku. Shippo and
Rin were chatting excitedly to Miroku and Kouga. Ayame and Sango watching and giggling.
Myouga was currently dragging a massive amount of bags into the limo, packing them in as
Inuyasha got out.
'Sugoi, Rin loves shopping.'
"Okaasan!" Shippo launched himself at me, smiling with wide expressionate eyes.
"Oneechan!" Rin screeched, following Shippo. I knelt down and ruffled their hair.
"You should be sleeping."
"Okaasan," Shippo pouted, pushing my hand away. "Stop. You're messing it up!"
"Boy, I don't think you can fix it," I joked.
He smiled, then bound away- surprisingly to Inuyasha. Rin stayed with me, looking at her
feet. I picked her up, resting her on my hip. "You wanna tell me what happened?" I asked, smiling
as her hyper self came back in the blink of an eye.
"Hai!" she sang.
I sat on the ground and listened to the overwhelming story.
'Sugoi, she never takes a break. How can she do that?'
Rin finished her tale, saying that she was glad she got so much stuff without using ALL of
the money. I laughed. She was MUCH different then those... brothers of hers. Speaking of her
brothers...
Inuyasha was still talking to Shippo, laughing at something Shippo had said. The boy
looked at his feet and muttered something that had Inuyasha laughing even harder. He swooped
down and lifted the boy up, placing him on his shoulders. Shippo laughed, the red going from his
face- must have been blushing in embarrassment.
I stood, placing Rin back on my hip as the boys made their slow way over to me. I stifled a
laugh as the now hyper boy plopped Inuyasha's 'ears' in place and squealed 'Dogboy!'
"Oi!" Inuyasha shouted, trying to look up at the small child who kept giggling. He sighed,
shaking his head and looked down at me with a smirk. "Oi, wench."
"Chotto, baka," I replied, smiling at the singer.
He laughed.
"Take it easy, brat," Inuyasha said, taking Shippo off his shoulders and setting him on the
ground.
When I went to put Rin down, she wouldn't let go. "Rin," I whispered, holding back my
re-forming tears. "Onegai, let go."
"I don't want you to leave," she said quietly. I could barely hear her. "Onegai! Don't leave,
oneechan! Onegai!"
I looked at the girl, then looked away. She was hurting me more than I thought was
possible, even for Inuyasha. So, I turned my attention to the singer.
"Running Blind," I said. He looked at me questioningly. "The title... 'Running Blind'."
He nodded, smiling. "A great name."
I looked away. "Rin, I think you should tell Sango and Ayame goodbye. Plus, your brothers
need you. Inu-chan looks sad, Rin-chan."
"Ah," she cried, looking over her shoulder at her present brother. "Don't cry, Inu-chan. Rin
wasn't going to leave you! Rin never leave her brothers! Especially Inu-chan."
I looked up to the singer. He wasn't crying, but it was close enough to make my heart
break.
"Inu... Shippo, Rin, I think you need to tell everyone your goodbyes."
"Hai," Rin muttered, dejectedly.
Shippo left without a word. I set Rin on her feet and watched as the two made their slow
way to the others. I looked to the ground for a while, then up to meet the eyes I had fallen in love
with so long ago. His silver mane billowed out behind him as the wind picked up suddenly.
"Kagome..."
"Inuyasha," I breathed, my eyes watering again. Oh, how I hated myself! I couldn't even
stop the tears I knew would evoke him to hurt me more- unintentionally, of course. I couldn't
give him the chance. "Listen, and listen closely, Inuyasha. I don't want you to stop singing- hear
me?- I want you to continue singing, even if it means... that you don't get a chance to see me
again. I want to be able to hear your voice on the radio, and see you on those talk shows. Smile-
and sing."
"Nani...?"
"...Inuyasha, I mean it, with all of my heart. I don't want you to stop. Ne, when you're on
the stage, you know where you belong, you know that you're supposed to be there, singing. It
takes your mind off of things," I said, softening my voice slightly. "All your problems are at the
back of your mind and all you care about is doing your best. No problems, no pain, no hatred, no
heartbreak... No Kikyo."
Inuyasha's eyes widened in surprise. "I haven't thought of that since you said-"
"I know, but now..." I paused, looking back at the jet as I spoke. "It'll be to help with this-
and I think-" I muttered, turning back with a slight grin "- Sesshomaru understood that a long
time ago."
Inuyasha smiled, understanding my meaning quick enough to tell me he knew- in some small
way, he had already known. "He's such a menace."
"And you're not?" I asked, skeptically.
"Kagome, Sango, Ayame!" Mrs. Taijiya called from the jet. "It's time to get going, girls!"
I sighed. "No tricks this time," I mumbled, watching him watch me. "This is 'sayonara' for
sure... But-" I smiled as brightly as I could muster- for the both of us- "-it doesn't mean forever.
Ne?"
"Hai, it doesn't mean forever," he smiled again.
He seemed to be debating with himself about something, but I wasn't willing to wait forever
to be in his arms again. With that thought, I stepped forward and wrapped my arms around him.
As he held me close, his chest rumbling in a soft growl, I buried my face in his shirt, hoping
beyond hope everything was a dream...
But, would I really want it to be a dream? If it was a dream... where was the real, living
Inuyasha? Is he the same as this dream my subconscious made for me? Could I live with myself if
I woke up to my alarm clock ringing and my mother telling me I'd be late for my last day of
school?
Who was I holding?
"Inuyasha..."
That was the only answer I wanted- the single one I needed beyond anything else. I was
saying goodbye to a dream. A dream like that in fairy tales...
"Kagome..."
I smiled into the fabric as the oh-so familiar red shirt, giggling in my head at the way his hair
tickled my face.
'Such a school girl...' And I just knew that alarm clock would be going off.
And there it goes, deafening me as Inuyasha pulled me away to look into my eyes. Okay,
not an alarm clock, but a definite red-alert siren.
"Kagome, I... Don't go, Kagome. You don't have to go- or I could go with you!
Sesshomaru's out of our hair for now," he said, urgent to receive an agreement. "We can stay
together a little longer."
"And hurt ourselves even more in the long run, Inuyasha?" I asked sadly.
"Kagome, I can sing anytime, but-"
"You'll sing when Sesshomaru sees fit, Inuyasha- no arguing."
"Kagome, onegai, stay with us then. You, Sango, and Ayame," he plead, squeezing my
upper arms gently for added emphasis. "Our band needs you-"
"That week on the boat was a mistake." I hadn't meant for that to sound the way it did and I
could tell I hurt him. I had to explain. "Had it only been dinner that one night, the heart break
wouldn't hurt so much." I couldn't help the resounding voice in my heart saying,
'and I would never know what I was letting go.'
"Inuyasha, another week would destroy us."
"AND THIS ONE HASN'T!?" he yelled in sheer anger, a single tear sped down his cheek.
"We don't have to go- and you don't either! You could be there up on stage with us and we
could-"
"Inuyasha, onegai, stop!" I screamed, tears forming in my eyes as his grip tightened.
"Onegai," I pleaded, chocking on my next words from an oncoming sob, "don't."
"Why not!"
"Because," I shouted pitifully, trying to step away from him. He held me steadily in front of
him. "I can't take it. Rin was enough, Inuyasha," I stated, exhaustedly. "Unless you want me to
break, stop this. Now."
"Iie! I won't let you go," he said, pulling me into another gentle embrace. "I can't lose you.
Don't you see I need you!"
I gasped, my eyes widening. I don't know why I reacted in such a way, but I could feel my
heart race and my face heat up... But the worst part was, there was no way to let into our wishes.
I had to go- for me, for Shippo, for my future, and, in a small and obscure way, for Inuyasha. I
made a decision, I was going to follow through, completely.
"I am going," I whispered. My heart calmed slightly at the feel of the steady beat from
behind the cloth barriers. "Don't ruin it, Inuyasha- what we do have."
Nothing else was said as his arms slowly fell from their place and the absence chilled me to
the bone. I stepped back, looking at the ground as he stepped away.
"Sayonara, Kagome," he spoke gently.
I looked up to met the familiar golden eyes, dull and drown in sadness again, the way I'd
seen them the first time. I tried with all my might to conjure up a smile... Only tears would show
themselves.
"Sayonara, Inuyasha."
I took one last moment to memorize his face, the silver locks over his shoulders and a ghost
of a smirk on his lips. A brief thought entertained my mind of a swift kiss, but then again, I wasn't
THAT bold of a girl.
I don't know why, but my past flashed before me as I looked at him- my life's ruin- and
found that the name suited him completely. He was the one thing in my life that made it turn
upside down and my knees go weak. I fell for him, just as my world fell because of him. And I
didn't blame him in the least.
'A life in ruins would be better than a life in sunshine and rainbows,' I thought.
'I'd rather my life be destroyed, than to never have lived a life.'
Sounded like I took that straight out of a book, and if I did, then hats off to the author- they
knew what they spoke of. I wished I didn't though...
With a heavy, heart-felt sigh, I stepped away and turned around with my gaze on my feet as
they moved me toward the jet. Each step shattered another piece of my broken heart. Even with
all the inner pleading, though I knew I'd fight it anyway, no one stopped me; no matter how I
wished, Inuyasha didn't call to me.
I stepped onto the jet without another backward glance. I couldn't have looked to him
again, even if I'd wanted to. My will had left and been shattered with my heart.
The door closed behind me and my last support- the support of knowing his eyes were on
me- was lost, and I fell to my knees with that loss. The barrier that had held the tears back broke.
Not only mine, but those of my friends- and even Shippo's. It seemed they had been waiting for
my signal the entire time.
I held Shippo to my chest, trying in vain to help him as I regulated my flowing tears. I knew
he was hurting more than the tears he shed and I wasn't comforting him as much as I wished I
could.
After a few minutes, I felt the engine start. Mrs. Taijiya stood beside Ayame and my
mother, trying to help her daughter. Sango only cried harder, though. Ayame was trying to be the
strong one, her body wracking with silent sobs she wouldn't let escape her. Mrs. Sasayaku
noticed, but stayed away, letting her deal with her own problems for once.
"Okaasan," Shippo sniffled, looking up. "Gomen..."
"Shhh, sh. It's not your fault, kawaii," I said, gathering the boy in my arms. I stood and
walked to a seat by the window... I knew I had made an agreement with the girls, but...
"IIE!" Sango screamed brokenly as I released the small string in my hands and the blind
went up.
"Kagome-chan!" Ayame gasped, shocked.
"Oh, hush up," I hissed at my two friends. I turned to Shippo and smiled. "Wave."
He smiled and looked out the window as I moved to another. Peering out, I saw Rin and
Miroku talking. Rin was crying lightly, but smiled at the drummer nonetheless. I watched as she
shook her head and looked up to the plane, brightening considerably.
"Oneechan, Shippo-chan!" she screamed. I didn't hear her, but it was easy enough to
understand.
I grinned. "No more tears," I mouthed to the girl.
She nodded and wiped away the water that had escaped her eyes. "No more tears."
I waved to her, then looked over to the other pair. Kouga stood with Inuyasha, an arm over
his co-workers shoulders in comfort as the singer looked to me. His eyes had lost a little of the
sadness, and I made a mental note to thank Kouga if I saw him again.
"Sing for me," I whispered, laughing as Inuyasha spoke mutely to me.
"Of course, Fangirl."
The jet rolled forward as Sango and Ayame had finally gotten in control enough to face the
others. They whispered another bittersweet farewell as I sat back and watched them slowly fade
into the concrete ground below.
I sighed and sat back in my seat, thinking to myself. It was going to be a long, boring flight
and I didn't have my favorite person to tease there with me... Bummer...
My mind laughed as a tear slide down my cheek.
"Kagome, I heard about you- all over the news, ne?" Mrs. Taijiya exclaimed out of the blue.
"Look!"
Reaching into a hidden compartment, she pulled out a remote and switched on the
television in the center of the front wall.
"-remarkable live debut performance by Kagome Higurashi shocks Japan with new and
vibrant voice, lighting up 'Demonic's dark concert hall. With no encore from the spell casting
young lady, 'Demonic' fans go home wanting as Ms. Higurashi leaves the stage.
"However, the stunning performance is not the only thing that awes fans, but the news of a
week long, expense free vacation with 'the man behind the curtain' is enough to make most girls
speechless. 26 year old Kagura Gumo is on her was to Hawaii after winning a competition of
knowledge and reflex on stage against 4 other individuals with owner of Meisei inc., Sesshomaru
Himitsu.
"More on this story tomorrow at six.
"In other news-"
The screen went black.
"Sugoi," Sango whispered.
A strangling silence followed, deafening me. I had to break it. "Wasn't there supposed to be
an announcement before we took off?"
"Kagome," Sango mumbled, shaking her head slowly. "Are you sure you're not A.D.D.?"
"She can't be," Ayame chirped, her eyes shinning. I was glad to see they were feeling better.
"Only Kami-sama knows how much attention she gave Inuyasha."
"Chotto!" I huffed, throwing a pillow at my giggling friend and hitting her square in the
face. "You're one to talk."
"Hai, I'm talkative," she cheered, smiling innocently as she pegged me with my own pillow.
"That's not what I meant," I said dryly, slanting a flat look in her direction.
"Okaasan," Shippo called, tugging on my sleeve. "Where are we going?"
"Home."
"Iie," Shippo muttered, crawling into my lap and playing with a loose string on my shirt. "I
mean, on that vacation you were talking about on the boat yesterday."
"What vacation?" my mom asked quietly, sitting beside me. She ruffled Shippo's hair and
laughed as it fell back in place- which was wherever it felt like going.
"I forgot to tell you," I spoke. "I was thinking... maybe we could go on a family vacation. I
have this perfect place, too. Jiisan could go- if he hasn't gone senile, yet."
"He left for an exorcism," she said, quoting 'exorcism' with her fingers. "Somewhere in
Kyoto, I think."
Everyone 'oh'ed and looked around the jet. I sighed. "So? What do you think, mama?" I
asked her.
"Sure! Souta needs something to do. He's spending way too much time on that Playstation
2 system of his."
"When are you going?" Ayame asked, looking out the window blankly. I know she didn't
really care, I could tell by her eyes, but I answered anyway.
"In a few weeks, I suppose. I didn't think it through completely yet, so... I guess you'll have
to wait and see," I muttered. "Well, what are you planning to do?"
I didn't ask anyone in general.
"I think I'm going to start looking more into universities," Sango answered. "I want to
check out business management and architecture."
"Um," I mumbled, looking at her uncertainly. "What happened to you wanting to be a
zoologist, or a... uh... a paleontologist?"
"I changed my mind," she responded, nonchalantly.
"Okay... Aya-chan, what are you going to do?"
She thought for a while, then smiled softly, thinking to herself about something or another.
"I'm going to check into movie auditions," she said.
"Oh, I think you'll be great," I replied, figuring she'd say that. "Especially if you're in touch
with your character." With the 'Traitors' on her side, she'd be an awesome actress.
"Okaasan," Shippo spoke after a few minutes of silence. "Can we watch something? I'm
bored."
"Hai," I responded, leaving Mrs. Taijiya to switch the channels as I fell quietly to sleep.
It didn't seem right though... With my eyes closed I felt more vulnerable than I ever had
before, knowing Inuyasha wasn't there with me. I also had the most gut-retching feeling that
Inuyasha was tossing and turning in some run-down hotel bed, nightmares plaguing his mind as
they did mine. A good night's rest was not on my doctor's prescription for tonight...
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