A/N: Okay, I've been getting a lot of questions about the songs in this story. See, I wrote these myself- so there really isn't anyway to find these lyrics anywhere else. I'm very flattered that so many of you think they are good, and especially thank you, LilTamaAngel, for thinking I might actually be a real song writer- even if just for a brief spur of the moment humor kind of thing... if that made any sence at all... Hm...

Anyway, I hope you enjoy the last few chapters- the end is only three- four depending on how you count- chapters away. Please review and tell me what you think!

Last chapter will be posted Feb. 15, as will the first chapter of its sequel. So, stay tuned, ya? ^_^

'What would I have lost?'


~ You climbed onto the jet after a heart breaking plea from 'your life's ruin', saying a final farewell. After listening to the cries of your 'so-called friends' and your nine years old 'son', you look out the window for a true, final glimpse... and thus the days of your life with 'the band' ends and you're back to old nicknames for everyone as if nothing happened. But the good thing is, when you do wake up, you wake up to the sounds of a jet engine and not that of an alarm clock. The jet's landing and you part with your friends. Your mother is leaving with them to go on yet another shopping spree- Hey, if you're going to waste most of it, why not waste all of it? Well, it's home for you, little missy! ~

I waved to my mother as the car rolled away before I beckoned a cab. When one came to a stop in front of me, I heaved the luggage I carried with me into the back seat, glad Myouga had taken our belongings from the boat and sent them on an earlier jet. All that left me with was Shippo's half of the clothing from the shopping spree. I'm so glad he's a boy! Kami-sama knows I wouldn't be able to deal with all the clothes a little girl would buy.

"Tokyo Sunset Shrine," I told the cab driver.

He nodded.

Shippo climbed in, I followed. He seemed intent on keeping his mouth shut, grinding his teeth. When I told him to stop, he pouted, then looked about the city as it passed by. He sat in awe. I giggled.

Halfway home, the cab driver changed the radio station, ending up on 'A Feudal Fairy Tale'. Of course, I started to sing along, using Sango's lyrics. It fit in so well!

The driver looked at me through the rearview mirror, thoughtful for a moment.

"Your voice is so familiar... Do I know you?"

"I doubt it," I said, trying to be as nice as possible. It still sounded rude. He didn't seem to care.

"You sure?"

"Hai," I muttered, looking out the window. 'Very sure. I'd remember a face like that.'

"Oh. Well then, what's your name, missy?" He asked.

"Kagome Higurashi," I said in a bored tone that soon turned into a shrill cry of fright as the car screeched to an abrupt halt, nearly causing a three-car pile up. "Nani-"

"I knew it!" he exclaimed frantically, jumping around to face me. "You're that 'Demonic' girl!"

I was shocked. Sure, I was on the news and everything, but I still didn't expect that. It had only been- what? Six hours? It wasn't even light out yet! (A/N: Tokyo- at least in this story- never sleeps. That's why her mom's on the 'shopping spree', okay? -_-; So messed up...)

"How much do I owe you, sir?" I asked, frantically trying to open the door.

"Ah, it's free of charge miss Higurashi," the cab driver spoke as my door flung open and I drug Shippo with me, out into the street. "As long as I get an autograph and the first CD you make- okay?"

I paused in grabbing the bags, looking at him for a second. 'The first CD I...?' I shook the thought away. I left that life in Inuyasha's hands.

"Sure," I said, pulling the last of the luggage out with me.

"Names Rai. Manten Rai." The cab driver grinned. I grimaced.

"... Rai?" I repeated. That name sounded so familiar. "Rai...? ... Alright, Mr. Rai. You'll get my first CD," I said, waving to the man as I remembered the family name. Hiten Rai. "Sir?"

Manten looked back to me as the engine started again. "Hai?"

"Do you know a man named Hiten Rai?" I pondered, not sure why I cared.

"Yo-you know my brother?" he asked.

I smiled and nodded. "Hai, I do," I replied. "Tell him I said 'Konnichi wa'."

With that said, I hoisted my bags into my arms, tossing a few over my shoulders, and walked down the street. Shippo walked beside me, gawking at everything... Kyoto was a big city too, so his reactions were a bit startling, but I didn't question him. It was best to let the past stay in the past...

"Shippo-chan," I spoke, taking his small hand in mine, "Let's go home."

******


I walked through the front door with a heavy sigh as the phone began to ring. Releasing Shippo's hand so that he could explore his new home, I went over to the phone and answered it.

"Moshi, moshi," I greeted cheerfully, surveying the living room.

It seemed Souta had taken all of the luggage and dropped it in the living room when Myouga had delivered it. My clothes were scattered, as were Shippo's- a typical snoopy brother's work. I sighed.

"Ms. Kagome Higurashi?" spoke a feminine voice, thankfully whine-less.

"Hai."

"Ah! This is Nazuna Kou, host of 'What's New?'," she said, her voice changing to a more delighted tone. "I was wondering if it would be possible to arrange an interview with you- by, say... Thursday?"

"Thursday?" I repeated dumbly, unsure of my ears for the second time that day. "I suppose... Sure."

"Great! I-I mean," she stuttered, clearing her voice, "Arigatou."

"It's no problem, ma'am," I said, looking above me as an audible thump sounded through the house, followed by Buyo mrowing. 'Shippo, what are you getting into?'

"I'll send you the information by mail, then," Nazuna stated. I could hear her smile. "Oh, and would it be possible to do an on-the-spot song?"

"Hai," I said, confident beyond reason.

"Arigatou, Ms. Higurashi," she spoke, then gave a short farewell.

I placed the receiver on the hook and turned just in time to see Buyo flash by. 'Sugoi! I didn't think he could move like that...'

"Okaasan," Shippo yelled from the upper floor. "Whose room is this?"

I sighed and climbed the familiar, carpeted stairs of my childhood home to see which room he spoke of. He stood in front of my brother's room, staring into it with widened eyes, his lips forming a perfect circle. "It's Souta's- my brother."

"My uncle?" He asked, looking over his shoulder to me. His eyes remained their unnaturally large size.

"Hai, hai," I giggled.

"Where am I going to sleep?" He inquired, turning back to the room.

"Where do you want to sleep?"

"Um... HERE!" he shouted, pointing into the room with an ecstatic look on his face. "Can I play uncle's Playstation 2? Onegai?"

"Not until Souta says so," I mumbled, walking to my room. "If you want, there's a t.v. down stairs you can watch in the family room. I'm going to take a shower, so don't answer the door- let the phone ring. Understand?"

He nodded, then skipped down the stairs, laughing to himself. However, when he saw Buyo, he stopped, balancing expertly on one foot on the edge of a stair. He grinned a grin I knew I grinned (A/N: he, he, he...) when I was planning something.

Suddenly, he sprung at the innocent blob. If it was possible, Buyo moved faster than he had moments ago. He was there- then POOF- he was gone. I stifled a laugh and entered my room, gasping.

My room was filled with dozens of dozens of roses, and bundles of letters. Even more shocking was that my brother had ORGANIZED them for me... Under the categories Love letters, Business letters, and Just Plain letters... Whoa...

I moved over to the first dozen of roses and read the small card. It was from Hiten- which surprised me a little. The next was from Neiou, a boy from my old high school... Most of them were from former classmates, actually. Then I got to an open space in the room and took a breath. From here, I spotted my bathroom towel. Making a mad dash for it, I gathered it in my arms, spun on my heel, and bolted out of the overgrown room, sighing in relief.

I hadn't been caught and dragged in to become part of the jungle cult that did mysterious hypnosis on unsuspecting victims!

Finally reaching the bathtub, I twisted the handles to adjust the temperature, finding a comfortable heat. Brushing my hair and watching as Buyo once again bound away from the hyper nine-year old, I laughed, then shut the door.

I stood in front of the mirror a while, and, much like the piece of glass in front of me, reflected on my life. I had to brace myself as the first of all the scenes flashed before my eyes.

"I need you."

The words echoed in my head, over and over, tormenting me as his image immerged from the back of my mind. I knew it would take some time- from several months to many years- to get over that. It wasn't going to go away, though, no matter how much of my mind dwindled away as I grew older. I'd always remember those words...

"That week on the boat was a mistake."

A tear found its way to my cheek as I remembered the sharpness in my tone. I felt so bad, even after I had explained... I still felt as if I had cut my own throat with those words.

"Another week would destroy us."

"AND THIS ONE HASN'T!"

'It did,' I thought, brushing away the water falling from my eyes. 'I... I'm such a fool... I should have stayed... But...' There was two things I knew. One, I had to leave Inuyasha for Shippo, because, in the end, I would have had to leave anyway. Two... I was too scared- of myself, my feelings, and... losing.

But, what was I going to lose?

I had seemed I had everything to gain... what was it that I would have lost?

It was nagging at the back of my mind, waiting to show itself to me, and most likely when it was least convenient...

"Sayonara, Kagome."

'Inuyasha... What was I going to lose?'

Turning off the water, I slipped into the bath, sighing to release the unnoticed withheld breath. The tenseness in my muscles eased, giving a pleasant tingling feeling. I squealed in delight as one thought entered my mind- Strawberry Cheesecake scented Suave!

******


I mumbled incoherently to myself, looking up to the building the letter had instructed me to go to.

The interview with Nazuna was today, so I had dressed up in my spaghetti-strap, off-white, knee-length dress Sango had found for me at the mall the day I named 'Dogboy' and a light blue button up shawl-like shirt. It came up over one shoulder with small, decorative fringes and looped up underneath my other arm, meeting in the back by a thin strap. It definitely helped warm my shoulders...

Sango and Ayame had gotten free tickets by my request and would be arriving some time after me. My mother was at home with Shippou, waiting impatiently for the show to start. Obviously this was a very much anticipated interview, since it would be LIVE... 'Oh, how scary,' I shivered.

Entering the building after proving that I was truly Kagome Higurashi, I went through the door labeled 'Station Personal'- just as the letter said to do. Walking through the narrow hall teeming with rushing bodies, which all seemed to simultaneously speak, I found a door with the small words 'WHAT'S NEW?' and the name of the current host chisled into a plaque above the knob.

I slipped through the door and was immediately bombarded by workers.

"Here, put this-"

"Here is a short list-"

"-about half way through-"

"Oopsy, I didn't mean to-"

"Do you need anything-?"

"Will you-"

"BACK OFF!" a familiar voice blared.

Those around me scattered to different parts of the room, finally giving me the chance to see the place I occupied. It was a small conference type room. A table sat at the center with Nazuna at the head of it. I had watched a few shows to make sure I knew who I'd be talking with.

I'm glad I had.

Two others sat at the table with huge smiles, waving me to the seat beside them. I respectfully declined and sat in the seat between the offered ones. They weren't offended in the least.

"Gomen, about that," Nazuna said sheepishly, waving off the previous events. "I guess they don't listen as well when I'm not the one giving orders." I smiled at that. "By the way, you'll have to adjust that mic."

Looking down to my shirt collar, I spotted the black input device hanging loosely about it. I twisted it into place and tucked the wire into my shoulder shawl (A/n: he, he..he, he), hiding the string as best I could. I took in a deep breath and let it slowly reenter the atmosphere.

"Alright," I spoke, turning to the man on my left and extending a welcoming hand. "Kagome Higurashi."

"Mushiko Jira," the man announced, shaking my hand delightedly.

Mushiko was a well known movie director, new in his line of business, but well off. He was a person with much potential, some critics had said... Where I remember that from, I have no idea.

The lady to my right was Jiia Touro, a new actress/producer. She was another who had dazzled critics... No wonder why the show was so highly anticipated...

"5 minutes!" a voice shouted over the intercom, startling me from my musings.

"Okay," Nazuna beamed, clapping her hands together. "Let's get started. Jiia, you'll be first, then Mushiko. Kagome... You're our finale."

I nodded, in a slight daze. Why did I feel like I was forgetting something?

******


I waited patiently from my designated spot, watching the show from a television set over my head. Nazuna called for a small commercial break after a chat with Mushiko and a worker holding a small clipboard motioned for me. I was up when the commercial ended, so I stood from my seat and worked out the crinkles in my skirt.

I walked quietly over to the door, standing in front of it as my body began to shake from the excitement of my FIRST interview- which would be LIVE...

I sighed. It was going to be a very long week. In the past TWO days, I had recieved thirteen interview requests and three hundred seventy-two date requests... My head was spinning! My mother had even disconnected the phone so we could get some sleep. I was not up for the twelve interviews I had agreed on- not counting this one.

The theme music sounded and the chittering pair on center stage recommenced the interview which started with 'well, thank you very much for joining us, we hope to hear from you again.'

"Now, ladies and gentlemen, we have a VERY, very, very, very special guest-" I couldn't help but snicker. 'So, I'm retarded, am I?' my mind questioned itself. I shook it away, placing a smile on my face as I planted one foot in front of the other. "-round of applause for Kagome Higurashi!" Nazuna spoke as I walked threw the arch way.

Sango and Ayame were in the front row- the only sane people in the room. The audience had stood up to cheer me on and I acknowledged them all with a bow. I shook hands with the host and sat for the third time that day in an unfamiliar chair.

"Welcome," she said, a smile never leaving her face. "We are glad to have you on the show, Ms. Higurashi."

"I'm glad to be here."

The crowd calmed and sat back to watch. I folded my hands in my lap and straightened my back.

"Well, only three days prior to today, you were the center of attention at a Demonic's concert," she reviewed. "It started with a... contest? Can you explain how you were involved with this?"

"Hai," I replied, keeping my gaze on the host as I explained. "I met the band two weeks before at their concert in Kyoto, backstage. I had gone with two of my best friends- Ayame Sasayaku, who was the granddaughter of the late Mr. Zaisan, owner of Meisei inc, and Sango Taijiya-"

"Are they here today?" Nazuna asked, turning to the crowd as my friends stood timidly and waved. Nazuna nodded and they took their seats. "So Ayame knew them?"

"Iie," I said, "she had never met them in person before. But Mr. Zaisan had arranged this one-week thing with our group and the band. It's really a long story, so to make it short, we stayed with Demonic for a week and got to know them. During a cruise that we went on, I had an idea and brought it to Sesshomaru's- Mr. Himitsu's- attention. He'd be spending a week with one of the Demonic fans to help loosen him up, since he's such a workaholic.

"Monday night, he called from his hotel room and told me what he thought, just as the concert was starting, so everything was a jumble," I lied. "I gave the band a hurried explanation and we went from there. All the questions, all the rules- they were from the top of everyone's mind. It was definitely something I'd do again, though."

"So, why weren't you in Nara with Demonic, yesterday?" Nazuna implored.

"Our time was up," I said, trying my best to keep the water from my eyes. "The one song was to help me with my stage freight, I suppose. We really didn't get to talk about it with the band."

"Oh," Nazuna said, looking at the flash cards that were hidden behind the desk. "Well then, what was it like with the group- anything interesting happen?"

"I found a new best friend in my worst enemy," I said without a thought, then covered it up. "Me."

"Honto?"

"Hai. I'm a prankster at heart," I said, smiling mischievously. "I really riled everyone up with some of the things did, and kind of found myself in the process."

"I know the feeling," she whispered just loud enough for the mic to pick it up. "Any specific pranks come to mind?"

"Actually, hai," I spoke, thinking back. "Inuyasha, 'Demonic's lead vocalist, had been arguing with me- which was completely normal- and I got fed up with it, so I took a pillow, honey, and some vegetable oil. See, I poured the oil in front of the door way, then filled a bucket with honey and water and another with the pillow's feathers. I told him I was going for a walk, then screamed like I was being attacked or something. He ended up locked outside and looking like a chicken."

I laughed lightly at that, as if remembering the little story. 'Well,' I thought to myself, 'it isn't all false...' I had to be careful about what I said.

"Where was everyone else?" Nazuna asked after she stopped laughing, completely enthralled in the story, leaning on the desk.

"They had gone to see a movie I'd already seen, and Sesshomaru was working- as usual," I explained. She nodded dumbly. "I had a great time- even when we were at the hospital..."

"Hospital!?" she repeated, wide eyed.

"Hai, I had fainted," I mumbled. "I guess I was effected by the hot air balloon ride."

Alright, so my story was turning around and inside out. At least I wasn't crying.

"I think we'll take a short break here, folks," she said, smiling again as she looked into the audience. The screen blackened, then played a commercial. "Alright," she whispered, looking me in the eyes. "This is it. I'll ask a few more questions, then you'll do the song, okay?"

I nodded, then pardoned myself to talk with Ayame as she stepped onto stage with an anxious look on her face, a cell phone in her hands. I looked at her questioningly as she shoved it into my hands dazedly. She left without a word.

I looked at the phone in suspicion, then answered. "Moshi, moshi?"

"Kagome... WHAT DO YOU THINK YOU'RE DOING!?"

I held the phone as far from me as I could, then placed it back to my ear gingerly. "Sesshomaru, how's the vacation?"

::::::Silence::::::


"I'm at an interview," I stated the obvious.

"I see that," he seethed. "What are you saying? You're giving the press a field day!"

"... Sesshomaru? Is this REALLY Sesshomaru Himitsu?" I asked, blinking a few times.

"Hai, now answer the question," he said in the old expressionless tone.

"That's more like you," I said. "I'm surprised you didn't call earlier."

"I made sure to vent my anger elsewhere," Sesshomaru muttered. "Inuyasha's having some trouble with his schedule."

"You booked him, huh?" I mumbled. "It doesn't matter... I told him I wouldn't tolerate him leaving his job to see me and I don't plan on seeing him again... Gomen, if I really messed things up, but I did it for Sango and Ayame- and you, believe it or not. You need to loosen up."

"... Stay on topic," he muttered. I heard Kagura call to him, asking something. 'Hmm...'

"Oh, Sesshomaru," I cooed. "How's the girl?"

"... Watch what you say, or you may find yourself in trouble over your head," he stated and the phone died.

I had a feeling, just a feeling, that he wasn't referring solely to the interview.

I glared at the phone, then heard the theme. I was back in my seat before the song ended.

"Well, Kagome," Nazuna spoke, "you actually spent time with the group? What was your favorite part?"

"The cruise to Okinawa," I stated. "I learned a lot about the band during that trip."

"I see... Oh! This is interesting..."

She looked through her note cards, then held them up for the camera's to see. It was a picture...

"This is a photo taken from 'Maiden of the War Lands', a film that hit the top ten two years ago, staring 'Kikyou Mikono'(A/N: Sorry, couldn't think of a name...). There is a stunning resemblance here."

This was the first time I had seen her, and my heart broke. I was an imperfect mirror image- a flaw here and there... It was almost impossible to believe... My mind was spinning... 'Did he... see her in me?'

'Iie,' my mind assured me. I had cleared that up on the boat the night I threw his clothes out of my room. 'He... he saw me... didn't he?' I placed the question at the back of my mind.

"Do you know her?" Nazuna had asked.

"Iie," I replied, looking at the picture with detached interest. "I've never heard of her."

I could sense Sango and Ayame's reaction, both trying to comfort me, knowing I was hurting inside. They knew about Kikyou and Inuyasha- just not all of the facts.

"I'm amazed," I muttered.

Nazuna quickly disregarded the subject and picked up with the concert again. "In that case... The concert was preplanned, correct?"

"Iie," I responded, looking up from the picture. "Only the original songs were preplanned. 'Just one Kiss' and my song, 'Running Blind'- I named it later that night-, were the first time they were ever played. 'Running Blind' was an on-the-spot song."

"Whose idea was this?"

"Sesshomaru's. He had called his brother earlier that day and told him to have me sing," I answered and prepared myself for the oncoming question.

She nodded, then turned to the audience. "Everyone, this has been What's New?, signing off with an on-the-spot song from the one and only Kagome Higurashi!"

'Okay, not a question, but a demand.'

I stood and made my way to a stage the manager directed me to. I took the mic into my hands and looked at the crowd who'd begun cheering again. Then I had an idea. Just to stop controversy...

"Okay everyone," I spoke, "to better prove this, I would like a few suggestions."

Thousands of words were flung in my face, but one rang clear. "Dancing."

'Sugoi. Simple and open to everything...'

"Alright, I have it. Will the one who suggested 'dancing' stand up," I stated, looking into the crowd as a girl was left standing. "For you, I will sing a song about dancing. Is there any other suggestions for it?"

"Um... nothing about love," she mumbled. I laughed.

"I like you, ne? No lovey dovey stuff," I said, then looked behind me to the assembled band. I nodded and the beat began.

It was a little slow for my liking, but not too slow. The words were pulled from my throat as the song started.

"Now, here I stand, in a crowd colored gray,
Waiting patiently for my feet to find their way
To the stars above me that twinkle in the night,
That gives me hope, makes everything seem right

My feet move deftly to their own silent cadence,
The rhythm new to an old melody of chance
Chances are a dream come true if you make them so,
And my dream is of dancing among stars that glow

My body sways to a pulse unheard yet there,
As my hair Tango's with the cool, blowing air
I'll sing of the many things the day brings,
But it's the stars that make me want to sing,"

I looked back to the band as I continued with my song, only the first line directed elsewhere than the crowd. They nodded, understanding the next four lines would be the last- and I was glad they would be. It was short, but it seemed to take forever with the slow beat. I wanted my band back...

There it is again.

My band...

"Yet, I'm still here on the land underneath the sky,
And I'll continue to watch the shining stars so high
I'll dream away, my feet dancing in their own pace,
Until I find my own little star-lightened place,"

'... I stopped dancing- stopped dreaming- a long time ago, then,' I thought to myself, imagining I was back in those arms that taught me to dance.

I swayed lightly as the band struck the last note, then walked over to Nazuna who sat behind her desk once again.

"Arigatou, so very much," Nazuna said, a little water in her eyes. "You've helped me out a lot, ne?" I cocked my head to the side in question. "I was about to lose my job," she answered, waving it off.

"Oh!"

"Yeah... Well, the show's over," Nazuna continued as she stood. "If you want, there's a snack bar backstage- you're friends can join you, but my boss won't be happy if you're there for very long. Gomen, that I can't offer any more."

"Iie, it's okay," I assured her. "I had a lot of fun today."

I noticed from the side of my eyes that most of the audience members had left, except for the girl who had suggested the song. She, along with Sango and Ayame, walked up to the stage as Mushiko and Jiia approached from backstage.

"Arigatou, Ms. Higurashi," she said, her smile genuine as her eyes danced in happiness. "My brother got me the ticket to get here and I was wondering if... if you could give me an autograph for him..."

"Of course," I said, smiling at the girl. She seemed to be 10, maybe 11.

"One for me too..?"

I nodded. "What's your name?"

"Satsuki Shiranai," she announced, extending a hand holding a booklet and pen. I signed it twice, then handed it back to the girl. "Arigatou," she said, then waved as she turned to leave.

"Be a good girl, okay Satsuki?" I called after the girl. She looked back and nodded before running to the exit. "Well," I mumbled, turning back to the others. Nazuna had rushed out, leaving me with the two guests and my friends. "Sango, Ayame, this is Mushiko Jira and Jiia Touro. Mushiko, Jiia, my closest friends Sango Taijiya and Ayame Sasayaku."

They bowed to each other in turn and shook hands. Ayame struck up a conversation with Mushiko as Sango engaged herself in a friendly chat with Jiia. I stood back and listened, but heard nothing as my mind wandered.

'What did I have to lose, Inuyasha?' my mind asked again, as I felt the chill on my back from the lack of warmth where his arms had previously rested.

"Inuyasha..."

So softly whispered, yet it deafened me as it rebounded in my head, growing louder each time and more desperate. It wanted to be heard- I was the only one to hear it. Then another picture formed in my mind. A literal picture as I saw the face of his first love.

'How many times did she whisper your name at night, Inuyasha? You still love her... A small part of you must still love her,' I thought, my eyes watering slightly to blur my vision. Maybe he did still see her through me, and maybe not. I guess I'd never know, since I left him in my past. But, still, even with the thought of being Kikyou's replacement of sorts, one thought remained in my mind. A single questioned unanswered echoed relentlessly.

'What would I have lost?'