A/N: Bwa hahaha! Chapter Two up! XD R+R!
Disclaimer: ...yeah. I don't own....STUFF. Just the ideas. ^^
~*~*~*~*~*Aragorn's Attempt to Bathe*~*~*~*~*~
"NO!!!!!!!!!!!!" Aragorn screamed and thrashed in Arwen's arms. "NO!!!!!!!!! PLEASE DON'T MAKE ME! NO!!!!!!!!"
She continued dragging him to the bathroom. "Aragorn, stop it! You... are... King! And you... need ...a ...bath!"
"NO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
She dropped him on the ground. "Stop whining! You WILL bathe!"
"NO!!!!!!!!!"
"Don't make me hurt you Aragorn!"
"NOOOOO!!!!!"
"Shut-up!" She pushed him towards the bathroom. He clung desperately to the frame of the door. "Act...like...a ...man!"
He gave up and slumped on the floor. He slowly crawled over to the bath tub, reaching a shaking hand towards the bath tub faucet. "I...can't...do it!!" He cried and pushed his way out of the bathroom. He ran to the back yard and hid among the bushes.
"Dammit!" Arwen charged out of the house after her husband. "Come back here!!!" She ran to the backyard where she knew he'd be hiding. "Why won't you take one measly bath!?!"
Aragorn considered this question, sitting in the bushes like an animal, and found no answer. He shrugged and stood up."Uh...sorry my love! I WILL take one!" He walked back inside to the bathroom and stood by the bath tub. "Uh...Arwen!?"
"Yes?" she came up from behind him.
"Um...what do I use...to...um..clean myself?"
"This," she reached down and picked up a bar of soap. "See...it's not so bad."
"Give me it." Aragorn picked up the bar of soap, licked it, and spat on the floor.
"No silly! Use it...like this." She got it wet and rubbed it across her arm, making bubbles. "Now you try."
He picked it back up, this time smelling it. "It smells...like you!"
"I know! I bathe everyday and so I always smell nice and fre-"
Aragorn burst through the door and out of the house. He yelled behind him, "You want me to smell like a woman!?! NEVER!!! I'll never bathe for the rest of my life!!!!"
Arwen ran after him, "Which will be very short if you don't get back here this INSTANT!!!"
It was a strange sight to see in Gondor: an elvish maiden chasing down their king with a bar of ordinary soap. Strange indeed.
~*~*~*~*~*THE END...well, not really...*~*~*~*~*~
A/N: And that, my friends, is why I think Aragorn never bathes. But...I'm probably wrong! Maybe he just likes to be smelly!!! I guess we'll never know. Review! It's the link at the bottom! ^.^
Disclaimer: ...yeah. I don't own....STUFF. Just the ideas. ^^
~*~*~*~*~*Aragorn's Attempt to Bathe*~*~*~*~*~
"NO!!!!!!!!!!!!" Aragorn screamed and thrashed in Arwen's arms. "NO!!!!!!!!! PLEASE DON'T MAKE ME! NO!!!!!!!!"
She continued dragging him to the bathroom. "Aragorn, stop it! You... are... King! And you... need ...a ...bath!"
"NO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
She dropped him on the ground. "Stop whining! You WILL bathe!"
"NO!!!!!!!!!"
"Don't make me hurt you Aragorn!"
"NOOOOO!!!!!"
"Shut-up!" She pushed him towards the bathroom. He clung desperately to the frame of the door. "Act...like...a ...man!"
He gave up and slumped on the floor. He slowly crawled over to the bath tub, reaching a shaking hand towards the bath tub faucet. "I...can't...do it!!" He cried and pushed his way out of the bathroom. He ran to the back yard and hid among the bushes.
"Dammit!" Arwen charged out of the house after her husband. "Come back here!!!" She ran to the backyard where she knew he'd be hiding. "Why won't you take one measly bath!?!"
Aragorn considered this question, sitting in the bushes like an animal, and found no answer. He shrugged and stood up."Uh...sorry my love! I WILL take one!" He walked back inside to the bathroom and stood by the bath tub. "Uh...Arwen!?"
"Yes?" she came up from behind him.
"Um...what do I use...to...um..clean myself?"
"This," she reached down and picked up a bar of soap. "See...it's not so bad."
"Give me it." Aragorn picked up the bar of soap, licked it, and spat on the floor.
"No silly! Use it...like this." She got it wet and rubbed it across her arm, making bubbles. "Now you try."
He picked it back up, this time smelling it. "It smells...like you!"
"I know! I bathe everyday and so I always smell nice and fre-"
Aragorn burst through the door and out of the house. He yelled behind him, "You want me to smell like a woman!?! NEVER!!! I'll never bathe for the rest of my life!!!!"
Arwen ran after him, "Which will be very short if you don't get back here this INSTANT!!!"
It was a strange sight to see in Gondor: an elvish maiden chasing down their king with a bar of ordinary soap. Strange indeed.
~*~*~*~*~*THE END...well, not really...*~*~*~*~*~
A/N: And that, my friends, is why I think Aragorn never bathes. But...I'm probably wrong! Maybe he just likes to be smelly!!! I guess we'll never know. Review! It's the link at the bottom! ^.^
