A/N: *waves* Hi. Me and my friend thought up these little mishaps while watching Aragorn-goes-bye-bye-over-the-cliff scene in 'The Two Towers'. If I don't update for a while after this, don't hurt. Highschool's a bitch. ^^;; Thanks.

Disclaimer: ::deep breath:: Idon'townlordoftheringssokissmylittlewhiteassandifyoueventhinkofcomplainingaboutmeowningthecharacters(whichidon't)i'llviciouslythrowarockatyou! ::deep breath:: *PHEW!*

~*~*~*~*~*Aragorn Go Bye Bye*~*~*~*~*~

THE SCENE: ARAGORN IS BEING DRAGGED BY A WOLF (why are they called wolves!? they don't look like wolves! what's going on!? ahhh!) ACROSS THE GROUND WHEN THE RIDER...UM..."FALLS" OFF AND THE BEAST HAS THE BRIGHT IDEA TO RUN OFF A NEARBY CLIFF, TAKING ARAGORN WITH IT.

TAKE ONE: It is after the battle. Legolas searches for Aragorn. He comes to a wounded orc (was it an orc? i can never tell.) rider on the ground, whose cluthcing his comrade's necklace. The surviving fighters gather near the scene. The Elf takes the jewelry and heads over to the cliff's edge. He sighs at the horizon and begins to turn around when he hears a distinct whisper below him.

"Aragorn?" He lowers his head to see none other than the King of Gondor dangling from the rock at his feet.

"Oh, Leggy!" the Ranger squeals.

"What!? You're supposed to fall!" he screams.

"Help me, friend!"

"No!" he stomps on one of his hands.

"Ow! What are you doing!?"

"Just-" *stomp* "-die-" *stomp* "-already!" *STOMP*

Aragorn frantically grabs at his feet.

"Gyah! Get off!" he shakes his leg to no avail. "Be gone!" he takes out the necklace and starts whipping him with it.

"Ow! Ow! OoooOOOoooWWWwwwWWW!"

"Bwa haha!" Legolas gives him one last smack before kicking him off.

"Legolaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaasssssssssssssssssssss!" the man screeches down the length of the cliff. *SPLASH*

The Elf looks down, then back at the staring crowd. "Uh, nope! Nope! He jumped!"

TAKE TWO: Legolas runs to the edge of the land. Gimli follows. Both look down.

"Do you think that rider could have been lying to us?"

"Well, it's hard to say," the Dwarf points to several Aragorn-shaped blood splatters along the side of the cliff.

"Oh," the Elf pauses, "...maybe it was just a bird."

"Yeah, that's it," they turn around, "It's okay! False alarm!"

TAKE THREE: Everyone is looking over the cliff. Limbs are scattered here and there amongst the rocks. Gasps are heard.

"Oh my God..."

"Is that a...is that an ear?"

"I think it's a toe."

"There's an arm."

"That one's a leg."

"Whoa. What is THAT?"

"I don't know what that is..."

"Oh dude, look!"

"Aw, nasty!"

"Ew!"

"Jesus Christ, Aragorn!"

"I think I'm gonna barf..."

This continues throughout the day, some trying to figure out "which limbs are what", "where they go", and "why Aragorn even HAD one of those".

TAKE FOUR: After hearinf the bad news, Legolas and Gimli stand over the rider, staring at the ground in silence.

*silence*

*clears throat*

*cough*

*shift*

"...maybe we should go look," suggests the Dwarf.

"Eck, no way."

"Why not?"

"Blood makes me queasy."

"But what if he's still alive?"

"...you go."

"No, you go."

"No, YOU go."

"No."

"Yes."

"No!"

"Yes!'

"NO!"

"YES!"

"Alright, I'll go!" Gimli rumbles before heading over to the edge. He cautiously peers over its side. "Hey, there's nothing even there!"

"I know!" The Elf runs over to him and quickly pushes him off. "Haha! Stupid Dwarf!" And with that, he casually walks away.

THE SCENE: ARAGORN IS FLOATING UNCONSCIOUS DOWN THE RIVER. (really try to visualize these ones! XD)

TAKE ONE: Just as his body is about to reach the shore, a giant bird flies into view, grabs him, and flies off.

TAKE TWO: Aragorn is peacefully floating in the water when a humongous boulder falls from somewhere and lands on him.

TAKE THREE: The camera zooms in on the drifting body. All is serene until a faint, squeaking noise is heard. Bubbles appear around Aragorn's butt. A smile spreads across his face.

TAKE FOUR: Aragorn floats into the picture. Ducks and other wildlife had settled down on his body. Fish nip at his ass as more creatures pile on. He floats out of the picture.

TAKE FIVE: As he drifts down the river, a big sock puppet made to look like a sea serpent grabs Aragorn and drags him under the water.

TAKE SIX: Legolas and Gimli have reached the river by now, where they expect to find Aragorn's body. To their great disappointment, though, he is indeed alive and well...and kicking.

"Ahhhhh!" their comrade screams and thrashes in the water. "Help me! I can't swim!"

The Elf sighs and wades out to the struggling man. "Stand up, you fool." He grabs him and pulls him to his feet.

Aragorn ceases screaming and looks around, embarrassed. "I was just, uh, taking a dip."

"Of course you were." Legolas pats him on the back and walks away.

~*~*~*~*~*THE END...for now*~*~*~*~*~

A/N: That's it! Hope you liked it! ^^ More coming soon...ISH. Review!