A/N: Yay! New chappy! ^^ Thanks to everyone who reviewed! You make me so haapppyyyy! ^^ Anyway, these are gonna be the LOTR character trailers! Ya know, they go in their little trailer things and see what they're doing! XD Read and enjoy!
Disclaimer: LOTR no mine. No anyone I know. No yours either probably. ...*sniff*
~*~*~*~*~*Character Trailers*~*~*~*~*~
TRAILER # 1: ELROND
The camera man knocks on the brightly decorated trailer of the elf lord. A voice shouts from inside.
"Come in!"
The door opens to reveal Elrond sitting in front of a mirror with a pair of tweezers. He turns to the camera with watery eyes. "Ah, just plucking my eyebrows. Aren't they so pretty!?" He smoothes them out with his fingers. "Ahem, yes." He turns his attention back to the mirror and grabs a flash light. He turns it on and points it down at himself. "I'm so pretttyyyy!"
He switches positions with the flashlight. "Look! I'm in the spotlight!" *switch* "Ooo! Look noow!" He finally puts it under his chin and gasps in horror. "Oh my God! I'm hideous!" He points it directly at his face. "Oh, Jeses Christ! I look like a monster with light on my face!"
He stands up and grabs the camera, pressing his face up against it. "Look at my faaaaace! Look what the light's done to my faace!" He abruptly stops and shouts. "Oh, Frodo! He must have been terrified in Rivendell, sitting in that healing bed with me looming over him! And speaking in freaky-deaky Elvish! Gyah! It must've seem like I was going to eat him!" He sprints out his trailer door to go apologize to Frodo.
TRAILER # 2: ARAGORN
The ranger lets the camera man inside. Eowyn posters cover his walls. The camera sweeps over them. Aragorn sees this and stretches his arms out across the wall. "Ah...no, I don't have Eowyn posters all over my walls because I'm obsessive and hate elves. Of, of course not. What would make you think that?" He laughs nervously, then gets close to the camera and pulls out a knife. "Tell anyone and I'll kill you."
*nod*
"Good." He puts it away and walks over to his chair. The camera man zooms in on the pictures again and shakes his head.
Aragorn sneezes. "Eaugh." He sneezes five more times. "Goddamnit. My allergies are acting up." He grabs a tissue and blows his nose. So hard, in fact, his boogers fly through the cheap material and stick to the wall.
He begins talking in an extremely nasal voice. "Oh, this is great. This is just frikkin' dandy. We have to shoot that council of Elrond scene next, and I have to talk in this stupid voice." He blows his nose again. He becomes more nasal. "Ugh. I'm the King of Gondor and I sound like a freaking cartoon!"
Aragorn continues complaining, but the camera is focused on the mucus-covered wall. He notices and pulls out his knife. "What did I say before? Not a word! Got it!?" He pulls out some more tissues and faces the mirror. Seeing the camera still in the room, he chucks some at it. "Do you want a piece of this!?" He screams in that same conjested voice. "Get out! GET OUT!"
TRAILER # 3: LEGOLAS
Barely escaping in one piece from the first two trailers, the camera man sneaks up to the elf's quarters, not wanting to alert him. He presses himself up against the door, straining to hear inside. After a couple of minutes, he faintly hears Legolas's voice singing something. The song wasn't in Elvish. He couldn't make out the words, though, and went to the window.
In the trailer, the elf was dancing around in his boxers and held a blow-dryer close to his mouth. "I'm, too sexy for my cloak, too sexy for my cloak, so sexy it huurts!" He sang this over and over, once in a while actually putting on his cloak and then ripping it off.
The camera man was trying desperately not to laugh, clamping his hands over his mouth while still working the camera. A giggle escaped from his lips. Legolas froze in mid-ass shake. "Who's there?"
*stifling laughter*
"I know someone's there! Are you eavesdropping!?"
"Um, no! No one's out here! Just go back to doing whatever you were doing!"
"Oh, phew. I thought someone was listening. I worry too much." He holds up the blow-dryer and continues singing.
The camera man snickers to himself and runs off before Legolas can hear him again.
TRAILER # 4: ARWEN
The female elf's trailer was located far from everyone else's. It was surrounded by bright flowers and anything else you can think of to make it rich-looking. Murmurs are heard from inside.
The camera man approaches the door without hesitation and kicks it open. Arwen whips around in surprise.
"What, what are you doing here!? I said no visitors!"
He pulls out a shotgun and begins firing it at the trailer's walls, floor, ceiling, furniture, and yes...its flowers.
"Ah! What do you think you're DOING!? I'm Arwen! You cannot defeat MEEEEE!" Lasers shoot out from her eyes as she attempts to tackle the camera. More shots are fired. The camera man books out the door, satisfied at the destruction he caused, and heads over to the next trailer.
TRAILER # 5: GIMLI
Out of breath, the camera man falls against the door.
"It's open!"
He walks in to see the dwarf facing the mirror and grunting at his reflection.
The camera man taps him on the shoulder. The dwarf points to the mirror. "See what I'm doing? See that dwarf in the mirror? He's scary isn't he?"
The camera man hesitates, but nods.
"That's what I thought! But why does everyone treat me like I'm dumb!?" He turns around and points to himself. He puts on an angry face. "This is scary, right?"
*nod*
"Then why doesn't anyone li-" A jet of saliva shoots from his mouth and lands on the camera. The camera man whips it off and looks at the dwarf.
"...oh. Point made." He waves the camera off and goes back to grunting at the mirror.
TRAILER # 6: FRODO
The camera man walks up to the hobbit's trailer, thoroughly exhausted. He taps on the door, but it opens by itself. He takes this as a sign to enter and shuts the door behind him.
He looks around the dark room. No signs of Frodo. He shrugs it off and heads for the exit when a small hand grabs his shirt and yanks him into the closet.
The door shuts and he turns on the camera light. Frodo sits in front of him, whipping his head around nervously. He grabs the camera and pleads. "Help me. Help me! Sam's out to get me! I can here him!"
A thud is heard on the roof, then cussing as the thing falls off.
"See! He's here!" The door of the trailer opens. "Save meeee!"
The closet door whips open and Sam grabs Frodo. He throws him over his back and walks out of the trailer.
Frodo screams. "No! NOOO! Don't let him take me away! Don't let him have his way with meeeeee!"
The camera man walks out of the trailer, looks around, and just sighs. He looks down at the list of names. His work for today was done with, but he'd have to come back. The insanity was not over.
~*~*~*~*~*THE END...thingy*~*~*~*~*~
A/N: Gyah! Poor little Frodo! ...poor camera man. ^^;; Oh, and I just had to wreck Arwen's trailer. I just HAD to. She needed it. Well, that's it for now! More trailers will come later. It may be the next chapter, or five chapters from now, but I assure you...THE TRAILERS WILL GO ON! *coughcough* Erm, yeah.
^^ PLEASE REVIEW!!! ^^
Disclaimer: LOTR no mine. No anyone I know. No yours either probably. ...*sniff*
~*~*~*~*~*Character Trailers*~*~*~*~*~
TRAILER # 1: ELROND
The camera man knocks on the brightly decorated trailer of the elf lord. A voice shouts from inside.
"Come in!"
The door opens to reveal Elrond sitting in front of a mirror with a pair of tweezers. He turns to the camera with watery eyes. "Ah, just plucking my eyebrows. Aren't they so pretty!?" He smoothes them out with his fingers. "Ahem, yes." He turns his attention back to the mirror and grabs a flash light. He turns it on and points it down at himself. "I'm so pretttyyyy!"
He switches positions with the flashlight. "Look! I'm in the spotlight!" *switch* "Ooo! Look noow!" He finally puts it under his chin and gasps in horror. "Oh my God! I'm hideous!" He points it directly at his face. "Oh, Jeses Christ! I look like a monster with light on my face!"
He stands up and grabs the camera, pressing his face up against it. "Look at my faaaaace! Look what the light's done to my faace!" He abruptly stops and shouts. "Oh, Frodo! He must have been terrified in Rivendell, sitting in that healing bed with me looming over him! And speaking in freaky-deaky Elvish! Gyah! It must've seem like I was going to eat him!" He sprints out his trailer door to go apologize to Frodo.
TRAILER # 2: ARAGORN
The ranger lets the camera man inside. Eowyn posters cover his walls. The camera sweeps over them. Aragorn sees this and stretches his arms out across the wall. "Ah...no, I don't have Eowyn posters all over my walls because I'm obsessive and hate elves. Of, of course not. What would make you think that?" He laughs nervously, then gets close to the camera and pulls out a knife. "Tell anyone and I'll kill you."
*nod*
"Good." He puts it away and walks over to his chair. The camera man zooms in on the pictures again and shakes his head.
Aragorn sneezes. "Eaugh." He sneezes five more times. "Goddamnit. My allergies are acting up." He grabs a tissue and blows his nose. So hard, in fact, his boogers fly through the cheap material and stick to the wall.
He begins talking in an extremely nasal voice. "Oh, this is great. This is just frikkin' dandy. We have to shoot that council of Elrond scene next, and I have to talk in this stupid voice." He blows his nose again. He becomes more nasal. "Ugh. I'm the King of Gondor and I sound like a freaking cartoon!"
Aragorn continues complaining, but the camera is focused on the mucus-covered wall. He notices and pulls out his knife. "What did I say before? Not a word! Got it!?" He pulls out some more tissues and faces the mirror. Seeing the camera still in the room, he chucks some at it. "Do you want a piece of this!?" He screams in that same conjested voice. "Get out! GET OUT!"
TRAILER # 3: LEGOLAS
Barely escaping in one piece from the first two trailers, the camera man sneaks up to the elf's quarters, not wanting to alert him. He presses himself up against the door, straining to hear inside. After a couple of minutes, he faintly hears Legolas's voice singing something. The song wasn't in Elvish. He couldn't make out the words, though, and went to the window.
In the trailer, the elf was dancing around in his boxers and held a blow-dryer close to his mouth. "I'm, too sexy for my cloak, too sexy for my cloak, so sexy it huurts!" He sang this over and over, once in a while actually putting on his cloak and then ripping it off.
The camera man was trying desperately not to laugh, clamping his hands over his mouth while still working the camera. A giggle escaped from his lips. Legolas froze in mid-ass shake. "Who's there?"
*stifling laughter*
"I know someone's there! Are you eavesdropping!?"
"Um, no! No one's out here! Just go back to doing whatever you were doing!"
"Oh, phew. I thought someone was listening. I worry too much." He holds up the blow-dryer and continues singing.
The camera man snickers to himself and runs off before Legolas can hear him again.
TRAILER # 4: ARWEN
The female elf's trailer was located far from everyone else's. It was surrounded by bright flowers and anything else you can think of to make it rich-looking. Murmurs are heard from inside.
The camera man approaches the door without hesitation and kicks it open. Arwen whips around in surprise.
"What, what are you doing here!? I said no visitors!"
He pulls out a shotgun and begins firing it at the trailer's walls, floor, ceiling, furniture, and yes...its flowers.
"Ah! What do you think you're DOING!? I'm Arwen! You cannot defeat MEEEEE!" Lasers shoot out from her eyes as she attempts to tackle the camera. More shots are fired. The camera man books out the door, satisfied at the destruction he caused, and heads over to the next trailer.
TRAILER # 5: GIMLI
Out of breath, the camera man falls against the door.
"It's open!"
He walks in to see the dwarf facing the mirror and grunting at his reflection.
The camera man taps him on the shoulder. The dwarf points to the mirror. "See what I'm doing? See that dwarf in the mirror? He's scary isn't he?"
The camera man hesitates, but nods.
"That's what I thought! But why does everyone treat me like I'm dumb!?" He turns around and points to himself. He puts on an angry face. "This is scary, right?"
*nod*
"Then why doesn't anyone li-" A jet of saliva shoots from his mouth and lands on the camera. The camera man whips it off and looks at the dwarf.
"...oh. Point made." He waves the camera off and goes back to grunting at the mirror.
TRAILER # 6: FRODO
The camera man walks up to the hobbit's trailer, thoroughly exhausted. He taps on the door, but it opens by itself. He takes this as a sign to enter and shuts the door behind him.
He looks around the dark room. No signs of Frodo. He shrugs it off and heads for the exit when a small hand grabs his shirt and yanks him into the closet.
The door shuts and he turns on the camera light. Frodo sits in front of him, whipping his head around nervously. He grabs the camera and pleads. "Help me. Help me! Sam's out to get me! I can here him!"
A thud is heard on the roof, then cussing as the thing falls off.
"See! He's here!" The door of the trailer opens. "Save meeee!"
The closet door whips open and Sam grabs Frodo. He throws him over his back and walks out of the trailer.
Frodo screams. "No! NOOO! Don't let him take me away! Don't let him have his way with meeeeee!"
The camera man walks out of the trailer, looks around, and just sighs. He looks down at the list of names. His work for today was done with, but he'd have to come back. The insanity was not over.
~*~*~*~*~*THE END...thingy*~*~*~*~*~
A/N: Gyah! Poor little Frodo! ...poor camera man. ^^;; Oh, and I just had to wreck Arwen's trailer. I just HAD to. She needed it. Well, that's it for now! More trailers will come later. It may be the next chapter, or five chapters from now, but I assure you...THE TRAILERS WILL GO ON! *coughcough* Erm, yeah.
^^ PLEASE REVIEW!!! ^^
