"It's Still There – part 17"
. . . . .
That night after dinner, as soon as they climbed into the Jeep, Lorelai told Rory about Sookie's phone call. They both excitedly discussed the prospect of simultaneous pregnancies, and then Rory encouraged Lorelai to call Sookie back and find out how the doctor's appointment went.
Lorelai pulled out her cell phone and dialed Sookie's house, but there was no answer. She left a message on the machine, then tried her cell phone. After a few rings, Sookie answered, and Lorelai greeted her with, "It's me, tell me everything!"
"I'm pregnant," Sookie announced with an excited giggle.
Lorelai gasped. "Oh my God, that's so great! Congratulations!" She smiled and nodded toward Rory, who grinned.
"Thanks," Sookie replied. "It's still sinking in. It's like when someone returns one of my meals – you just can't believe it until you sit and think about it for a long time."
"Yeah, I know what that's like," Lorelai said. "When is it due?"
"Oh, that's the best part! October 31st."
"Aw, a Halloween baby!"
"Yup!"
"Aw, that's no fair, I want a Halloween baby."
"Sorry. You should've waited another three months to get pregnant."
"Yeah, we should've planned the due date better instead of just having all that random. . ." Lorelai paused and glanced at Rory. "Uh, never mind. Listen, we're just leaving my parents' now, but we're gonna stop by on the way home, okay?"
"Okay. We're on our way home from the doctor's now, so we should be home soon."
"See you in a bit."
"Okay, bye."
They hung up, and Lorelai smiled at Rory. "Oh my God, I'm so happy for them."
"Me, too. I can't believe you're both pregnant at the same time, that's so neat," Rory said.
"Yeah, it'll be good to have someone to go through it all with."
"I hope Lane and I are pregnant at the same time," Rory remarked. "That'd be fun."
Lorelai cocked her head and eyed her curiously. "You're talking years from now, right? Because it'd be really weird for me to have a child and a grandchild who are around the same age."
Rory rolled her eyes. "Yes, Mom, years from now. Many years. After college, after I'm settled in a career, after marriage, after all that good stuff."
"Good." Lorelai started the car, but didn't pull away. She thought of her conversation with Luke last month about Rory and Dean, and suddenly had the urge to talk about it. She turned to Rory, who was now adjusting the heater vent, and cleared her throat. "Uh, honey. . ."
"Yeah?" Rory fiddled with the vent for a second before sitting back and turning to her. She noticed Lorelai's face looked more serious than just a moment ago. "What's wrong?"
"Um, listen. . ." Lorelai started, then paused a moment, searching for the right words. "You're an adult now. . . and you're smart. You know how to make the right choices."
"I'd like to think so," Rory agreed, but she narrowed her eyes with confusion. "What is this about?"
"This is about you and me. About how, even though you're an adult and can make the right choices yourself, I still want you to feel comfortable talking to me about them first. We're each other's sounding boards. I mean, we still tell each other everything, right?"
Rory nodded. "Yeah, of course we do."
"So, you haven't made any big decisions lately that you haven't told me about, right?"
"Nope."
"You're sure?"
"I'm positive." Rory sighed. "Mom, just come out and say what you're thinking so I can stop wondering what you're beating around the bush about."
Lorelai glanced down at her seatbelt strap and started fidgeting with it. "I'm thinking that. . .you and Dean have been dating for a long time, and so I just wanna make sure that if you two haven't. . .you know, already made the decision to take things further. . ."
Rory's eyes widened. "Mom. . ."
". . .that you'll talk to me before you do," Lorelai quickly finished.
Rory leaned back against her seat and stared out the front windshield. "We haven't done anything. . . "
"Okay." Lorelai stared at her, knowing from her tone that she was about to say more.
Rory was quiet for a moment, then glanced at Lorelai. "But we have talked about it."
Lorelai's eyes widened slightly. "You and Dean?"
Rory nodded. "A few months ago."
Lorelai tried to hide the fact that this freaked her out a little, and casually asked, "So. . .uh. . .how did it go?"
Rory shrugged. "Fine. We talked, I told him I wasn't ready and that I'd tell him when I was, and it hasn't been brought up since."
"Not once?"
"Nope."
"Wow." Lorelai patted Rory on the knee. "A lot of guys that age wouldn't be so patient. You're lucky."
"Yeah. I know." There was a brief moment of silence. "I'm sorry I didn't tell you we talked about it."
"That's okay."
"I just didn't wanna freak you out for no reason."
"I understand."
"I mean, if I thought I was ready for it to happen, that's when I would've come to you about it. That's when I will come to you about it."
"Good, that's what I want. Just come talk to me, and we can. . ." Lorelai swallowed hard. "Go to the doctor and get you on. . .you know. . .some sort of, uh . . .birth control." It was harder than she thought it would be to say that sentence, to realize how much her baby girl was growing up.
"Yeah." Rory seemed a little uncomfortable with it also, and she glanced away. "But we don't have to think about that yet. I mean, it could be a while."
"I know, but when the time comes. . .I'll be there to help you with all that stuff if you want me to."
Rory nodded gratefully. "Okay, thanks."
Lorelai kissed Rory on the cheek. "I'm proud of you, hon. You know that, right?"
"Yeah."
"Not just for this, for everything."
"I know."
"Good." They shared a hug, then Lorelai pulled out of the driveway and headed to Stars Hollow.
. . . . .
After stopping at the diner to tell Luke about Sookie's pregnancy, Lorelai and Rory headed to Sookie's house and knocked on the front door. Sookie answered, and they greeted her with congratulatory hugs.
As Lorelai and Rory took off their coats, Lorelai said, "Rory and I were talking about how cute it would be if. . ." Her voice trailed off when she noticed Sookie's not-so-happy expression. "Are you okay? What's wrong?"
Sookie sighed. "It's Jackson." They walked to the living room and sat down.
"What about him?" Lorelai asked.
"He's not exactly embracing the news."
Lorelai frowned. "Aw, sweetie, what happened?"
"I don't know. He seemed fine on the way home from the doctor," Sookie said. "He was kinda quiet, but I figured he was letting it sink in, you know? Then we got home and I said something about turning the guest room into a nursery, and he just started flipping out about the cost of everything, and now he won't come out of the office."
"What's he doing in there?" Rory asked.
"Making sure we can afford the baby without robbing a bank," Sookie replied. She shook her head disappointedly. "It wasn't supposed to be like this. This isn't how you react when you find out you're gonna be a dad. You're supposed to be happy."
"Aw, I'm sure he's happy," Lorelai assured her.
"I hope so," Sookie muttered.
Lorelai and Rory both frowned sympathetically at her, then Lorelai had an idea. She walked over to her purse and grabbed her cell phone, then sat back down on the couch.
"Do you have beer, Sookie?" Lorelai asked as she dialed a number.
"Uh, yeah, I think so. Why?"
"I think it's time for some father-to-be bonding." Lorelai brought the phone to her ear, and Luke answered on the second ring. "Hey, hon."
"Hey. You still at Sookie's?"
"Yeah, and we need your help. Can you come over here for a little while?"
"For what?"
"Well, Jackson's kinda flipping out about how much a baby'll cost, so I was hoping you could sit down with a couple of beers and talk to him."
"About what?"
"I don't know, get him to view fatherhood as a positive thing."
"I'm sure you can do that. You're persuasive."
"But it'll be better coming from someone who's going through the same thing as him. You have experience being a father-to-be, you can relate."
Luke sighed. "I don't know, Lorelai. . ."
"Come on. Please, Luke? Poor Sookie should be able to celebrate her pregnancy with her husband, and she can't because he's holed up in the office all worried about stupid money stuff."
Luke sighed again. "Fine. I'll be over in a couple minutes."
Lorelai smiled. "Thank you."
. . . . .
A few minutes later, Luke arrived, and after talking with the girls for a bit, he grabbed a couple of beers from the fridge and walked down the hall to the office. He knocked on the door. "Jackson, it's Luke," he called. "Can I come in?"
A moment later, a surprised-looking Jackson opened the door. "Luke, what are you doing here?"
Luke held out a beer toward Jackson. "Uh, just came over to say congratulations. You know, about the baby. That's great news."
"Oh." Jackson smiled and took the beer, then shook Luke's hand. "Yeah. Thanks."
"So. . .what are you doing in here?" Luke asked.
"Oh, just figuring some things out." Jackson walked back into the room and Luke followed him. A pile of old Consumer Reports magazines were spread across the desk, and Jackson picked one of them up. "Right now, I'm trying to find the best minivan to get."
Luke took a long swig of his beer. "Didn't you just find out you were expecting a couple of hours ago?"
"Yeah, so?" Jackson sat down at the desk and starting hitting buttons on the calculator.
"So, don't you think it's a little early to be worried about stuff like this?"
"But this is important. There are a lot of things to figure out before the baby comes."
"Yeah, but. . .you gotta think of Sookie, here, Jackson." Luke sat down on a chair. "When she sees you doing stuff like this, she thinks you're not happy about being a father."
Jackson looked up, surprised. "What?"
"Yeah, she thinks you're so worried about this stuff. . ." Luke gestured to the papers and magazines on the desk. ". . .that you're not happy about the baby. That you're gonna resent it for costing so much."
"No, I'm happy," Jackson insisted. "I couldn't be happier. I'm ecstatic."
"Well, you have to let her know that, that's something they're always concerned about. The very first thing Lorelai asked me when we found out she was pregnant was if I was happy about it. They need to be reassured, they need to know you're gonna be there for 'em."
Jackson glanced down at the desk. "But I'm doing this stuff to make sure we're prepared."
"Yeah, but that's not how Sookie's seeing it," Luke told him. "Look, I'm with you, man. . .I think about this stuff, too. Diapers, clothes, toys, furniture, how much it's gonna cost for us to turn the spare room into a nursery. . .that stuff goes through my mind all the time. But I don't let Lorelai know I think about it."
"No?"
Luke shook his head. "No way. I just let her know how happy I am, how great it's gonna be to have a kid. . .all that stuff. That's all they wanna hear right now."
They talked for a few minutes, then Luke stood up and patted Jackson on the shoulder. "Look, it's good to think about this stuff, but don't make such a big deal out of it. Don't let her think it's your number one priority."
Jackson nodded understandably and glanced down at the papers in front of him. "I guess I don't have to worry about this stuff right this minute. Maybe I should take her out for a late dinner to celebrate."
"Good plan. Just remember, no matter what, make sure she knows you're happy about the baby. And remind her constantly. They love that."
"Look at you, you're some sort of expert now, huh?" Jackson teased with a smirk.
Luke smiled and shrugged. "I'm learning as I go along."
Jackson stood up and extended his hand. "Thanks."
Luke shook it. "No problem." He gestured to the door. "I gotta get back to work. I'll see you later."
"Okay. Can you tell Sookie I'll be out in a few minutes? I just wanna clean this stuff up."
"Sure." Luke exited the office and headed toward the living room. It was empty, and he found all three girls in the kitchen.
"How'd it go?" Lorelai asked. "You talk some sense into him?"
"Yeah, he'll be out in a few minutes." Luke set his beer down on the table. "I gotta get going." He walked over to Sookie and hugged her. "Congratulations again."
"Thanks, Luke," Sookie replied. "And thanks so much for coming over."
"Sure." Luke patted Rory on the head. "See you at home."
"Bye, Luke."
Luke leaned down and kissed Lorelai goodbye. "See you in a few hours."
Lorelai smiled. "Okay. Bye, hon." Luke grabbed his coat from the living room and headed back to the diner.
. . . . .
That night, Lorelai was reading in the bedroom when Luke arrived home. "Hey."
Lorelai smiled and put her book aside. "Hi."
He kissed her, then sat down on the bed. "How was the rest of your night?"
"Good. Jackson came out a little bit after you left and he was telling Sookie how happy he was about the baby," Lorelai said. "Whatever you said to him worked."
"Good, I'm glad."
"And then he wanted to take her out to dinner, and he invited us to come along, but we'd eaten already. Plus, I knew they'd rather be alone, so Rory and I just came home and watched TV." She propped her feet up on his lap and he started running his hands over her legs.
"Sounds like a nice lazy Friday night."
"Yeah, it was." She paused a moment. "What did you say to Jackson?"
Luke shrugged. "Not much. I told him not to spend too much time worrying about the cost of stuff, that he should make sure Sookie knows how happy he is about the baby, stuff like that."
"Well, you done good. It made Sookie feel a lot better, she was very grateful." Lorelai watched him rub her legs. "God, that feels good. What do I gotta do to get a back massage?"
"Ask nicely."
Lorelai batted her eyelashes and pouted her lips. "Please can you give your favorite wife a nice back rub?"
Luke stood up. "Yeah, let me just get ready for bed first."
Lorelai smiled and clapped her hands together excitedly. "Yay. Thank you."
Luke stripped down to his boxer shorts and a T-shirt, then walked to the bathroom. When he returned, Lorelai, with her pajama top now removed, was sitting cross-legged on the bed facing the headboard.
Luke sat on the bed behind her. He pushed her hair aside so it was draped forward over her shoulder, then began gently massaging near the base of her neck. She sighed contentedly. "I get all shudder-y when you touch me."
Luke paused the massage. "Shudder-y?"
"Yeah. There's this sensation that shoots through my body and makes it all tingly," she explained. "It feels like little shudders."
"Oh."
"Trust me, it's a good feeling."
"Okay, good." He resumed his actions, and they were both quiet for a few minutes as his hands glided slowly across the curves of her back, leaving no inch of her smooth skin untouched.
When he was finished, he gently squeezed her shoulders. "All done." He kissed the center of her back.
Lorelai smiled as she turned around. "That felt really good. Thank you."
"You're welcome. Tomorrow night it's your turn to do me."
Lorelai smirked and raised an eyebrow. "Gladly."
Luke rolled his eyes. "I meant reciprocate the massage."
"Oh, yeah. That, too." She pulled her pajama top back on, then patted the bed next to her. "Cuddle with me." He situated himself on his side of the bed, and Lorelai snuggled up against him.
They were quiet for a minute, then Lorelai cleared her throat. "So, um, in between the stimulating dinner conversation with my parents and all the stuff at Sookie's, I had an interesting talk with Rory tonight."
"About what?"
"Sex."
Luke's eyes widened. "What? Why? Did she bring it up?"
"No, I did. We were in the car talking about pregnancies or something, and then this little voice inside of me told me to talk to her about sex, to make sure that she knew that she could talk to me about it. So I brought it up."
"What'd she say about it? Have they. . ." His voice trailed off, and he was suddenly nervous to hear the answer to his implied question.
Lorelai shook her head. "No, but they've talked about it."
"Talked about it," he repeated, followed by a concerned sigh. "Geez."
"Yeah, tell me about it."
"When did they talk about it? Recently?"
"A few months ago. Rory told him she wasn't ready, so they're waiting until she is. Which I'm guessing to mean that he's ready."
Luke rolled his eyes. "Please. He's a teenage boy, they're always ready." He pulled her closer and rubbed her arm. "Are you worried?"
"Yeah," she admitted. "I know she's an adult, I knew it would happen one day, and I should consider myself lucky that she wasn't like me, running around and having sex at 15, but. . .still. . ." She sighed. "It's scary, Luke."
"I know."
"My little tiny baby girl is on the verge of becoming sexually active."
"I don't like it any more than you do, trust me." He clenched his fist. "I swear to God, if he tries to talk her into it before she's ready, I'll kill him."
Lorelai rubbed his arm. "Calm down. He loves her to death, he'd never do something like that." She half-shrugged. "All we can do is wait. She says she's gonna talk to me about it first, so I'm not gonna waste my energy being concerned now."
"Kinda hard not to think about it, though."
"I know, but we have to try. I'll drive myself crazy otherwise."
"Short drive," he teased.
She nudged him with her elbow. "Shh, we don't tease each other during cuddling time."
Luke yawned. "I think cuddling time is about to transition into sleeping time anyway." He leaned across her to turn the light off, then kissed her. "Night."
"Night."
He ran his hand over the medium-sized bulge of her stomach. "Night, baby."
"Night, Daddy," she replied in a childlike voice. He smiled and kissed her again, and they both rolled over to go to sleep.
. . . . .
Two weeks later, on Saturday afternoon, Lorelai walked into the diner with several shopping bags. She set the bags down at a table, then headed for Luke at the counter. "Okay, do me a favor and look at me closely." She slowly spun around in a circle. "Did you get a good look?"
Luke shrugged. "Uh, yeah, I guess."
"Good. Tell me – is there a sign on me somewhere that says 'please touch my stomach'?"
"Not that I saw."
"Well, then what is it with people that they feel the need to just come up to a pregnant woman they don't know and place their hands on her body?" Lorelai cried, throwing her hands up with frustration. "I hate that! Would you walk up and do that to someone you don't know?"
"Uh, I'd have to say. . .no." Luke walked over to her and pulled her into a hug.
Lorelai rested her chin on his shoulder as she hugged him back. "See, that's why I married you. . .because you don't randomly touch women's stomachs. You're a normal, 'keep your hands to yourself' kind of guy."
"Thanks." He pulled back and comfortingly rubbed her arms. "So, besides the stomach-touching, how was shopping?"
"Exhausting," she replied. He followed her as she walked over to her table and sat down. "My back hurts, my feet are about to fall off, and I'm craving a fluffernutter sandwich like you wouldn't believe."
Luke grimaced as he sat down next to her. "Sorry, don't have all the ingredients for that one."
"I figured, that's why Rory and Lane are at Doose's right now buying me marshmallow fluff. You have peanut butter and bread, right?"
He looked weary at the thought of having to make the sandwich for her. "Yeah. . ."
"Good." She gestured to her shopping bags. "The plus side of the shopping trip is that we hit some good sales. I got a lot of maternity clothes for spring and summer."
"Good."
"I got a ton of tank tops. I think that I'm gonna wanna be wearing as little clothing as possible once the summer heat kicks in."
Luke nodded. "Yup, you gotta keep cool."
"Ooh, what time is it?" Lorelai checked Luke's watch. "Two-thirty. I have to be at the inn by four to help with the retirement party tonight."
"How late are you gonna be?"
Lorelai shrugged. "I'm not sure. Probably 'til like eight or so."
"Make sure you're not on your feet the whole time," he warned. "I don't care how busy it gets, make sure you don't overwork yourself."
Lorelai smiled at his concern, and she patted his hand. "I know, don't worry."
The diner door opened and Lane walked in with the container of marshmallow fluff. She set it on the table. "Here you go."
"Thanks." Lorelai looked past her. "Uh, where's Rory?"
"When we came out of the market, she said she wanted to be alone and that she was going for a walk," Lane replied. She patted the marshmallow fluff. "She asked me to bring this to you."
Lorelai frowned and glanced out the window. "I wonder what's bothering her. She seemed a little off during shopping, don't you think?"
Lane nodded. "Yeah, she did. And I'm not sure, but I think it has to do with . . ." She glanced around and lowered her voice. "Dean. She seemed to kind of space out when we saw him at the market."
Lorelai glanced at Luke. "Hm."
"Wonder what that's about," Luke mussed.
"I'll talk to her before I go to work," Lorelai said. "Thanks, Lane."
"Sure. I gotta get home. Thanks for inviting me shopping."
"You're welcome." Lorelai watched Lane walk out of the diner, then she turned to Luke and sighed. "Boy trouble."
"Sounds like it," Luke agreed.
Lorelai pointed to the container of marshmallow fluff. "Maybe you could make me a sandwich to go, and I'll go home and find out what's going on." Luke nodded. He took the container and headed for the kitchen.
. . . . .
Fifteen minutes later, Lorelai was at home eating her sandwich when she heard the front door open. She jumped up from the kitchen table and walked toward the entryway calling, "Rory?"
"Yeah, it's me," was her sullen reply.
"Sounding particularly bright and cheerful," Lorelai teased as she reached her. After shooting Lorelai an unamused look, Rory hung up her coat and started to walk toward her bedroom, but Lorelai reached out and grabbed her arm. "Whoa, honey, come here. What's wrong?"
"Nothing," Rory replied with a shrug. "I just have a lot on my mind right now."
"Anything I can help you with?"
Rory shook her head. "No. I have to sort out some things, and I have to do it myself."
"Well, it might be easier for you to sort out if you talk it out with someone first," Lorelai suggested. "I have a little while before I have to go to the inn. Why don't we sit down and chat?"
Rory shook her head. "Not now. I just wanna lie down for a while."
Lorelai frowned and rubbed Rory's shoulder. "But you'll tell me later?"
Rory nodded, then walked to her bedroom as a concerned Lorelai stared after her.
. . . . .
That night, Luke arrived home from work to an empty house. He took a shower, pulled on sweatpants and a T-shirt, then headed down to the kitchen to look for something to eat.
As he was sitting at the table eating some yogurt, he heard the front door open. He stared down the hallway waiting to see who it was, and saw Rory walk to the living room. "Hey," he called.
Startled, Rory jumped and clutched her chest. "Oh, Luke, you scared me." She walked out of his view over toward the fireplace.
"Sorry." Luke stood up and walked to the living room, and as he approached he could hear her sniffle a few times as though she'd been crying. He stopped abruptly near the staircase and contemplated whether he should try to talk to her or just leave her alone. Lorelai had called him earlier and told him that Rory hadn't shared any details about what was bothering her.
Rory was going through the shelves of videos to find something to watch, and Luke pretended to go through the mail on the desk. "So. . .what's up? Is everything okay?" He glanced over his shoulder at her, and she shrugged, followed a few seconds later by another sniffle. Luke walked to the couch, casually trying to make his way over to her. "Uh. . .you can talk to me about it if you want." He took a few more steps toward her. "Did you have a fight with Dean or something?"
Rory froze with one hand about to pull a movie from the shelf. She sighed softly, then slowly turned around to face him. Her eyes were red, her face was tear-stained, her lower lip was quivering as she struggled to hold back even more tears.
Luke's eyes widened with concern and he quickly walked over to her. "What happened?"
Rory's plan to hold back her tears failed as they rushed down her cheeks. She buried her face against his chest, and Luke wrapped his arms around her in a comforting hug. She was sobbing now and her body was shaking lightly in his arms. Luke was unsure of what to say, and all that came out was, "Hey, it's okay."
It was almost a minute later before she finally pulled back from him. She wiped her eyes and mumbled, "God, I'm so sorry, Luke. I didn't mean to get all. . ." Her voice trailed off.
"Forget about it." Luke put his hands on her upper arms. "Tell me what happened. . .it was something with Dean?" Rory nodded, and he envisioned himself walking over to Dean's house and punching him out for whatever he did that made her this upset. Rory's sobbing picked up again, and she leaned back against Luke's chest. He rubbed her back. "Whatever it is, it'll be okay."
Rory mumbled something against his chest that he couldn't understand. He pulled back a little. "What?"
"We broke up," she whispered through her sniffles. Luke frowned sympathetically and pulled her back into a hug.
. . . . .
A few minutes later, Luke was sitting on the couch when Lorelai arrived home. When he heard the door open, he rushed to the front entryway to greet her. "Hey."
Lorelai smiled. "Hey." She kissed him, then took off her coat.
"We have a problem," he declared.
"What kind of problem? Are you going through a mid-life crisis?"
He glanced toward the staircase and lowered his voice. "Rory and Dean broke up."
Lorelai's eyes widened. "What? When? Why?"
"A little while ago," he replied. "She came home crying about it and all she told me was that they broke up, no details."
Lorelai frowned. "Aw, the poor thing. She must be devastated."
"Seems that way. She's upstairs right now taking a shower, and she asked me to order her a pizza," Luke said.
"Wallowing food," Lorelai said knowingly.
"Are you gonna talk to her?"
Lorelai nodded. "Yeah, I'll try, but I don't know if she'll feel like talking about it so soon." She noticed a wet spot on his shirt, and she pointed to it. "What happened there?"
He glanced down at it. "Oh. . .Rory used me as a tissue."
"Aw. Good thing you were here." Lorelai sighed. "Okay, we've got a possibly long night ahead of us. Did you order the pizza yet?" Luke nodded. "Okay. I'm gonna go upstairs and change, and intercept her when she comes out of the bathroom. You're in charge of paying the pizza guy. Can you handle it?"
"I'll try to manage."
"Good."
Lorelai walked upstairs to her bedroom and changed out of her work clothes. She waited on her bed for the bathroom door to open, and when it did, she jumped up and rushed to the bedroom doorway.
Rory stopped short in the hallway when she saw Lorelai, and she glanced down at the floor. "Mom. . ." She fiddled with the belt of her robe.
"Hon. . ." Lorelai walked over to her. "Luke told me that. . .you guys broke up?"
Rory swallowed hard as she nodded. "Yeah." Her lower lip trembled. "It's over."
"Aw, come here." Lorelai kissed her cheek and pulled her into a hug. "I'm so sorry, hon."
They hugged for almost a minute before Rory mumbled, "I did it."
Lorelai pulled back. "You did what?"
"I initiated the breaking-up," Rory said, sniffling. "I'm the one who wanted it to end, and the look on his face was so. . .heartbreaking." The waterfall of tears began falling even faster. "I hate myself for making him so upset."
Lorelai took Rory's hand and pulled her into the bedroom, and Lorelai grabbed the box of tissues from her vanity before they sat down on the bed. "Talk to me. Get it all out."
Rory took a deep breath in an attempt to control her tears, then she began talking slowly. "Well. . . over the past few weeks, I realized that my feelings for him had changed. I don't know why – he's still the same, he still treats me like I'm everything in the world to him. . .but I don't feel like I did in the beginning." She stared down at the bed for a few seconds. "My eyes don't light up when I see him anymore. I don't spend hours thinking about him when we're not together like I used to." Rory paused to blow her nose into a tissue. "And the other day we were talking on the phone and right before we said goodbye, he said 'I love you', and I said it back to him. . .and then when I hung up, there was this voice in my head that said, 'You don't mean it the way he means it.'" Rory swallowed hard. "And the voice was right. I realized that. . . I only love him as a friend. I'm not in love with him anymore."
Lorelai nodded understandingly. "That happens sometimes, honey. Even if the guy is great and cute and he loves you. . .it doesn't mean that you'll always love him back. People fall out of love everyday."
Rory sniffled and nodded. "When I saw him at the market this afternoon, I realized that I had to talk to him about it. I couldn't just let him think my heart was still in it like his was. So I went over to his house tonight. I think it was the hardest thing I've ever done in my life."
Lorelai frowned. "He took it pretty bad, huh?"
Rory nodded. "He was really upset. And I hated using the stupid old 'it's not you, it's me' thing, but that's really what it is. He didn't do anything wrong, but I just. . .I don't feel the same anymore." She covered her face with her hands. "I don't want him to hate me."
"I'm sure he doesn't hate you," Lorelai assured her. "He knows you didn't purposely try to hurt him."
Rory sighed and fell back onto the pillow. Lorelai lay down next to her, and they both stared up at the ceiling.
"How can I be in love with someone for so long and then just have the feeling go away?" Rory asked. "It doesn't make any sense."
"Love rarely does."
"It does for you."
"Well, it does now, but it took 34 years to get where I am," Lorelai reminded her. "You're only eighteen, hon. You'll find someone else. Someone who does make your eyes light up, someone you do think about all the time. Someone who makes you so happy that your stomach fills with butterflies when you hear his voice on the phone." Lorelai smiled. "Just like Luke does for me."
"I hope so."
Lorelai squeezed Rory's hand. "I promise. There's someone out there for everyone, even if it takes awhile to find 'em." They lay quietly for a while, then Lorelai sat up and rubbed her stomach. "Man, it's moving around a lot tonight."
Rory sat up. "What does it feel like?"
"Like there's a little tiny baby bumping into the walls of my stomach." Lorelai wiped away the last of Rory's tears, then patted her leg. "I smell pizza. What do you say we go eat?"
Rory nodded, then leaned over to hug Lorelai. "Thanks, Mom."
Lorelai kissed Rory's forehead. "I love you."
"Love you, too."
They both climbed off the bed and headed downstairs.
. . . . .
To be continued. . .
