Forgotten Snow
Chapter fourteen
author's notes: Time for my shameless advertisements. If you like fluffy/angsty stories, then check out my beta's stories. They are seriously kick ass. You can find the links in my bio page or you can find it on your own (Tennyo no ame)
"I still love you," she said firmly this time.
Inu yasha's mouth closed in shock and he stood awkwardly in the room like a straight man would at a gay party.
He licked his lips and opened his mouth and Kagome smiled softly, he was going to say it, just like Sango and Miroku had said.
His eyes suddenly narrowed and the golden eyes bored into hers and he spoke with the harshest and the deadliest voice she'd ever heard. The venom evident in her voice and his golden eyes blazed with anger:
"Bull shit."
Kagome gasped loudly and took a step back from him, her blue eyes wide in shock, "What?"
"You heard me," he snapped and clenched his fist. He looked like he was on the verge of tears, but the great Inu yasha would never admit to that, instead he lowered his head so that his bangs cast a shadow over his beautiful golden eyes.
Kagome couldn't control it any longer; tears formed in her eyes and ran down her cheeks in two straight rivers. "Wh-wha-what?"
He glared at her fiercely, a glare that could freeze fire or melt a glacier, "Don't you dare say that to me!"
"But it's true!"
"I don't believe you," he punched a wall behind her and she gasped loudly his face was close to hers, their noses almost touching, "I can never believe you when I know that your talking shit to me!"
"I'm not!" Kagome insisted, "I love-"
"SHUT UP!" he pulled away from her and glared at the window. His lips were curled back in a vicious scowl and his fists were clenched so tight, his claws were digging into his skin.
"But, Inu yasha," she said pathetically, this had been a mistake, she should have waited, she shouldn't have listened to Miroku and Sango. "I'm not lying! I really do love you!"
Inu yasha didn't look in her direction for a long time, and when he did Kagome's eyes widened in surprise. His golden eyes were shimmering and were overflowing with tears that fell down his cheeks rapidly.
Inu yasha was crying.
He didn't sob or sniff or wail, he just stood there with the liquid rushing from his eyes to collect at his cheek and fall to the ground near the coffee stain. He looked at her sadly, his hands gone slack and small droplets of blood falling to the ground with his tears.
"How can you stand there and just say that to me," he said sadly, his ears drooped, "How can you stand before me and say that you love me, when if a nice boy were to walk in right now, you'd leave with him?"
"I wouldn't!" Kagome insisted and reached out for him.
"Don't touch me," he demanded and Kagome ceased her advance.
Kagome pulled her hand back as if she had been burned and cradled the hand to her chest. She bit her lip and wiped away her tears staring as Inu yasha made no move to shoo away his own. Perhaps he wasn't aware of his tears?
They stood in a long awkward silence, just staring at one another, before Inu yasha dipped down and picked up his jacket and examining the stain there. Kagome made an attempt to speak again, but he was soon charging towards the door. The slammed it open and marched away down the hall.
When his footsteps disappeared and not even his echoes could be heard, Kagome collapsed to the ground and sobbed.
Inu yasha wiped away his tears desperately as he pounded on the door of Sesshoumaru's office. He waited a moment before his brother answered the door. He raised an amused eyebrow and stepped aside, watching his brother enter. He shooed away his daughters and offered a chair to Inu yasha. "What is it, Inu yasha?" He asked calmly and folded his hands into a tight ball. "You look troubled," he paused and stared in shock, his eyes widening a tad, "And your eyes are puffy are you-"
"Shut up," he muttered and looked at the floor, his golden eyes lowered so Sesshoumaru couldn't see the obvious evidence of his tears. "I need to talk to you."
"Yes?" Sesshoumaru prompted, bored.
"I want out," he said firmly and looked at his brother's ice-cold eyes, "I want to go back to America."
Kagome ran towards her apartment, her body slamming into others as she muttered apologies and tried to hide her tear stained face from view. Everything was falling apart around her and it was all her fault!
If only she hadn't been stupid enough to hurt Inu yasha like that. She hadn't even stopped to think of the consequences of what she had done to the inu hanyou. There was so much heartbreak one being, even youkai, could take. She cursed her self mentally and berated her pitiful and stupid decisions in life. Dumping Inu yasha, trying to win him back, being his secretary, not quitting, not getting fired, not making an effort, telling him she loved him...
She halted in her running and gripped her shirt positioned above her heart. Whenever she thought of that moment, a painful throb could be felt deep within her. She wiped away a tear that made its way down her cheek. Was this what it felt like to Inu yasha so many years ago? Was she now experiencing what it felt like to deal with a broken heart?
She licked her wind burned lips and sobbed softly, she would never understand the pain that Inu yasha had gone through because of her. If this is what I felt like for only ten minutes, she couldn't begin to imagine ten years.
All this time she had been dawdling on the thought that he might still love her. She was so wrong. What Inu yasha felt for her was simply hatred and the tolerance he needed in order to work along side her.
He eyes widened, "Mom!" That's who she needed right now, a little one on one time with her mother to ease away the pain. She had little hope that it would go away, not for a while. She wasn't even sure if she'd be able to move on. Her self esteem and confidence had just been crushed underneath the bare foot of the man she loved and had to work for.
"You what?" Sesshoumaru asked, his voice raising an octave in surprise. "What ever for?"
"I can't do this any more, Sesshoumaru," Inu yasha said pathetically. "I tried, and I failed. I want to go home. To my real home, away from this."
Sesshoumaru's eyes narrowed in understanding, "You're running away."
"IM NOT RUNNING AWAY!" Inu-yasha protested as he looked out the window, his golden eyes pained, "I can't stand this pain any more." His hand clenched his work shirt, above his heart. "It hurts too much."
Sesshoumaru stared coolly at him. "Fine, I shall contact Shippou and tell him that you will be returning."
"Thank you," he whispered and raised himself from the chair, his eyes downcast towards his bare feet, hidden under the long black pant legs. "I'll pack my stuff."
"You do that," Sesshoumaru said icily and watched his brother leave. Once he was gone he frowned deeply, "You are a coward, my brother."
Mrs. Higurashi patted her daughter's back, after hearing the whole story from meeting him again to what had happened today, Kagome had broken down into tears and, being a good mother, Mrs. Higurashi had comforted her daughter.
Mrs. Higurashi closed her eyes and tightened her hold around her crying daughter. It felt like Kagome was a young girl again, having just been dumped by her very first boyfriend. It had been a heartbreaking experience…and it had taken some time for Kagome to not start crying after even mentioning his name. But she had found Inu yasha after that, he had started tutoring her, and she'd been ecstatic again, she'd been able to smile again... She had to admit to herself that Inu yasha had been good for her daughter back then. And even now, at that one occasion she'd seen Inu yasha again...
Even though the boy had thrown a tantrum and left a fairly good sized hole in her house, she could see that the man still cared deeply for Kagome, she'd even go as far as to say that the boy was still in love with her daughter. A muffled sob aroused Mrs. Higurashi from her thoughts and she looked down at her daughter's crystal blue eyes.
"Yes, Kagome?" Mrs. Higurashi offered her child a soft smile.
Kagome returned it, but it seemed a little wistful. She hugged her mom again before sitting back down on the couch she'd sat telling her mother the story. Mrs. Higurashi looked at the ceiling and withdrew a breath.
"Well Kagome," Mrs. Higurashi finally said, "It sounds to me that this is very complex. But I must ask you, Kagome, do you really still love Inu yasha?"
Kagome blinked and thought for a moment, "I'm not sure."
"Kagome...were you in love with Inu yasha in high school?" Mrs. Higurashi pressed her daughter.
Kagome bit her lip and tried to remember. Inu yasha holding her hand, Inu yasha kissing her, Inu yasha giving her presents, Inu yasha always being there, Inu yasha always smiling at her, Inu yasha bringing her homework when she was sick, Inu yasha caring...Inu yasha loving her.
And she'd broken his heart.
Her heart wrenched at that thought, at the bitter pain she must have caused Inu yasha and not even cared. To have no sympathy for the broken boy.
"I do," Kagome said her eyes widening, "I do love him."
Mrs. Higurashi looked at her daughter with a soft smile and patted Kagome's shoulder, "Why do you love him?" The question startled Kagome. "Why is it that your heart belongs to him?"
"I..." a small tear escaped her eye and fell down her cheek sadly. She wiped it away angrily. "I love him because..." she sighed and looked at her mother, "I can't explain it. I just want what's best for him; I want him to be happy. I know I've screwed up so many times, but I want to make it ok again. I want him to be able to smile again." She gripped a pillow, "And even if I have to let him go, so be it, I just want him to be happy."
"Kagome," Mrs. Higurashi said seriously, "You can never make it okay again, unless you can both forgive each other. And even then, I'm not sure."
"Mother..."
Mrs. Higurashi checked her watch, "Well, Kagome I'm sorry, but I must go now and see my grandchildren." She smiled warmly, "Souta is arriving with his children in a few hours, would you like to come meet them?"
"I'm fine, mother."
Inu yasha placed the last knick-knack into the box, his ears drooped and his eyes downcast. His finger traced Kagome's picture gently. His long clawed finger running down the length of her chin and to trace her lips softly. He bit his lip and looked away from her petrified gaze; even the picture sent his heart into a spiral of empathy. He raised the picture up to his lips and he lightly touched the glass. Pulling away, he dropped the picture carelessly into the box. The unmistakenable smashing of glass resounded through the empty office space. His heart clenched and he snapped the box shut, taping it up and marking it 'Inu yasha's shit'.
"Inu yasha?" Inu yasha jumped and cursed, why hadn't he sensed the entrance of his employee?
"What is it, dumb ass?" Inu yasha muttered as he addressed Miroku.
"What are you doing?" Miroku asked as he took a cautious step in. now that the furniture was gone, minus the desk; he realized how large the office was, and how cold and lonely it appeared.
"Moving," Inu yasha said flatly and picked up the box with little effort.
"To a new office?" Miroku asked, confused.
"No." Inu yasha glanced at Miroku before shifting the box into his other hand, "I'm going back to America."
"Why?" Miroku's eyes widened.
"I can't stay here," Inu yasha whispered as he walked out of his office. He glanced at Kagome's desk, but no Kagome was present. Miroku watched Inu yasha's gaze and his eyes narrowed.
"Is it because of Kagome?" Miroku said softly.
Inu yasha tensed and his claws dug into the soft cardboard of the box. He gritted his teeth together and his ears twitched back towards Miroku.
"I'm right, aren't I?" Miroku said calmly.
Inu yasha said nothing.
"I know how you feel Inu yasha-"
"You can't possibly know how I feel," Inu yasha snapped angrily. He turned to face Miroku, his lips curled back into a scowl, "You can't possibly understand what I'm going through. You'll NEVER know what I'm going through!"
Miroku's eyes narrowed. "You're running away."
"I AM NOT running away," Inu yasha growled darkly, his eyes turned towards his feet, "Why does everyone keep saying that? I'm not running away!"
"Then what are you doing?" Miroku asked, annoyed.
Inu yasha said nothing, having no answer to the man's question.
"You're afraid to get your heart broken again, huh?" Miroku said firmly and placed a hand on his friend's shoulder. "You don't want to commit to Kagome again, because there's always that doubt that she'll leave you. Maybe if you explain to her that she's-"
"Shut up." Inu yasha snarled and shrugged Miroku's hand away. "Get away from me."
"Why are you running away?" Miroku pressed again.
Inu yasha didn't answer, just simply walked out of the office and right into the last person he wanted to see.
Kagome let out a little shriek and started to fall. Inu yasha, noticing the girl's soon-to-be distress, dropped his box and grabbed the woman by the waist, suspending her in air.
She gulped and straightened her self, before realizing who it was. With a large blush, she turned away from Inu yasha and looked at the wall beside her. She noticed the box, "What are you doing, Mr. Takahashi?" He didn't miss the sadness in her voice and her failed attempt to remain professional.
"Leaving," Inu yasha said coolly. His golden eyes didn't look at her and his shoulders seemed tensed. "I'm going back to America."
Kagome gasped softly and her eyes widened. Her heart began to speed up and she felt tears trying to force themselves free. Her hands clasped together and she bowed her head. "But why?"
"Because he's running away!" Miroku shouted from somewhere in one of the rooms
Inu yasha tensed up more and glared at the direction Miroku was at. He sighed and hefted up his box, beginning to make his way towards the elevator.
"Inu yasha!" Kagome called after him as he began to walk away. He stopped and looked at her over her shoulder. She looked like she was on the verge of tears and she was shaking with suppressed emotion. She took a hesitant step towards him and she finally broke down. "I meant it, Inu yasha! I meant it!"
Inu yasha's eyes softened but he refused to leave his position.
"I would never lie to you with something so important," Kagome whispered, only loud enough so his demon ears could pick up. "When I said I loved you, I meant it. I meant it from the bottom of my heart!"
He stared at her, but made no sound or move to comfort her. His back was rigid and his ears twitched around. His golden eyes were shinning with emotion and his usual scowl had smoothed out to a straight line. His eyebrows lifted and seemed relaxed, instead of focused downward in the usual angry expression.
Kagome licked her lips and wiped away tears that fell down her cheeks, "You say that I lie, but I don't! I love you! And if I could take back everything painful I ever did to you, I would do it in a heartbeat. I love you, damn it!"
Office doors popped open and employees stared out at the scene that was barely suitable for a soap opera. Woman seemed ready to cry and men were hoping that Inu yasha would refuse Kagome so they could have a shot at her. Miroku glanced at Sango and they both silently prayed that what would happen next would not be ill on the couple.
"Kagome..." he whispered and the box slipped from his hands. Her eyes, glazed with tears, stared at him hopefully. He took a step towards her before he recoiled. His ears flattened and he shook his head furiously. "No!"
He turned and fled, leaving a bewildered Kagome behind. "I-Inu yasha!" She called after him and gave chase. People rushed to the windows and slammed them open, leaning out to see the sidewalk where the couple would appear in a few moments.
"Well this can't get any worse," Miroku whispered to Sango. A moment of silence passed between them and Miroku looked at the sky. "Funny, I thought it would start raining."
"Shh," Sango nudged Miroku and pointed. Inu yasha had just left the back entrance of the building and was running towards the park. Kagome was behind him but was quickly loosing distance, her chasing a hanyou and all.
