Forgotten Snow
Chapter fifteen
Kagome sat in the library, scanning through the books and taking notes. Her long black hair tumbled down her back and she quickly brushed it away, trying to read the small print before her. The wording of the textbook drawled past her as she reread a line over and over, but unable to comprehend. She groaned, "Who cares about the ancient samurai and the conquest of Japan? WHO CARES?"
The librarian sent her a glare and Kagome blushed, realizing she had drawn unwanted attention to herself. She sighed and continued to write on the notebook paper. Her lead snapped and she cursed.
"Here," Kagome looked up as a deep masculine voice spoke. Her eyes rested on the dark one's of Naraku, an upper classman. She blushed and smiled.
"Thank you, sempai," she said politely and took the pencil, returning to writing out the thin characters of kanji and hiragana.
Naraku took the seat in front of her and she tensed slightly. She had never really liked Naraku, and Inu yasha had constantly warned her about him. Plus, there was the fact that he'd caught her hair on fire when she was in grade school.
She lifted her gaze, "Can I help you?"
"Not really," he propped his feet up on the table, much to her annoyance.
"Well I'm trying to work so—"
"Shh!" Kagome blushed as the librarian sent her another glare. She sighed and returned to her reading, trying to ignore the boy in front of her, his smelly feet sticking in her face.
"Higurashi-San," Naraku said seriously, his dark eyes peering at her crossly. "I need to speak to you, its very important."
"Um..." Kagome felt uncomfortable around Naraku but sighed, closing her book. It was obvious that he wasn't going to leave her alone. "Fine, what is it?"
"Not here," Naraku said softly and stood, motioning for her to follow him.
"Alright, Naraku-Kun, I'm getting very annoyed, what is it that you want?" Kagome snapped and glared at her sempai's back. He glanced at her with a smirk and what appeared to be pity. Pity always made her blood boil, something that had rubbed off on her from her boyfriend.
She touched her ear where the small mark was and smiled. But her smile faded when the boy in front of her stopped and turned to face her. He placed his hands behind his back, his shoulders squared and his feet spread. He looked like he was at a military camp. In fact, Kagome wouldn't be surprised if he saluted a passing teacher.
"Inu yasha is your boyfriend, correct?" he asked coolly.
Kagome's eyes narrowed in suspicion. "Why?"
"Well, for a boyfriend, he certainly is unfaithful," Naraku drawled out examining his fingernails with a half lidded eye. Kagome felt her stomach jolt and her heart almost stopped she gulped loudly and glared at Naraku.
"What do you mean?" She snapped angrily.
"Well, he certainly has been coming to visit my sister, Kikyou, lately," Naraku said in a slow voice, like he was talking to someone with a brain disorder. Kagome's eyes widened and then she smiled.
"Oh that, that's simply because Inu yasha is a tutor," she said smiling, feeling remarkably better. The wind blew her hair from her shinning blue eyes happily. "Thank you for your concern, but he is simply helping Kikyou catch up in her math class. There's nothing to worry about, Naraku-Kun. Thank you. Good bye."
"Just tutoring?" he asked hotly. "Since when does kissing have to do with math?"
Kagome's smile dissolved and she looked at Naraku darkly. "I don't know what you're talking about, but this conversation is over. Inu yasha would never cheat on me."
"And why would I lie to you?" Naraku grinned and Kagome felt her knees go weak. "Higurashi, I like you very much. And I don't want to see you get hurt." Kagome's heart started pounding in surprise and she wondered why.
The strange feeling you get once you discover that someone else had feelings for you overpowered Kagome. When someone loves you and they admit it, you suddenly feel attached to that person. Perhaps it was pity. Perhaps it was the hope of getting a new friend. Or perhaps Kagome was simply lusting over the upperclassman, but Kagome halted in her assault to protect her boyfriend and stared at Naraku. "W-what?"
"It's been happening for many days now, actually," Naraku said sadly, his dark eyes peering at her as he took a step towards her. "They do no studying; they simply do things together in our house. Kiss, hug, and hold each other, it's all the same to them. They barely notice me. I thought it was fine at first, in fact, I encouraged it, Higurashi, forgive me." He sighed gravely, "But then I noticed him hanging around with you and I realized that he was not as available as I had first anticipated. I had only wanted my baby sister to be happy. Little did I know I was jeopardizing your happiness."
"Naraku-Kun," Kagome whispered.
"Please, only Naraku," he then continued with his story, "I confronted Inu yasha one day and he said he was planning to break up with you."
"Naraku, thank you for telling me, but I have to find out myself," Kagome whispered sadly and began to walk away. "Ja ne."
"Inu yasha!" Kagome said happily and plopped down next to the said boy. He turned to her with a smile before returning to what he was doing. Kagome's heart wrenched when she realized that he was sitting next to Kikyou and they were both absorbed in a math book.
"You see, Kikyou, in order to figure out what fifteen percent of five hundred is, you'd have to set it up in fractions, do you understand?"
"I think so," Kikyou said softly. She was always a sigh girl, very quiet, not very outgoing. What did Inu yasha see in her? Kagome shook her head, 'he's only tutoring her, get a grip!'
"Percentages are fractions that have been converted. A percentage is a certain number out of one hundred. So fifteen percent would be…" he waited for Kikyou's week reply. She gave none. With a sigh he continued, "fifteen out of one hundred. Which would be written as fifteen over one hundred. Write that, Kikyou."
"Um..."
'I mean, Inu yasha is completely loyal; he wouldn't leave me for a quiet idiot, would he?' Kagome leaned over Inu yasha's shoulder to see what they were doing. Inu yasha was holding Kikyou's hand, which was holding a pencil, and helping her write out the fraction 15/100.
"Ok, Kikyou, I'll give you a short cut. It's easy to remember when writing out these fractions. The percentage would go over the number one hundred, because a percentage is a number taken from one hundred pieces of data. Then, that would have to be equivalent to two other numbers. When listening to the problem it will either say a certain number of something percent OR it will say a certain percent IS a certain number. So, you'd write it as percentage over one hundred is equivalent to IS over OF, do you understand?" Inu yasha asked hopefully.
"Huh?"
Inu yasha slapped his forehead. And leaned over again so that his head was pressed to hers. Kagome's blood boiled but she forced herself to remain calm.
'This isn't what it looks like. He's helping her, its his job, he's being paid!' she berated herself for doubting the man she loved.
"Fifteen percent OF five hundred," Inu yasha said, his irritation evident in his voice. "So it would be fifteen over one hundred equals 'X' over five hundred."
"I get it!" Kikyou said happily and smiled at Inu yasha. But it wasn't a friendly smile. Inu yasha seemed oblivious and scowled at the girl.
"Great, now solve the problem!"
"Uh..."
"For the love of God, Kikyou! Cross Multiply!"
"I get it now!" She hugged Inu yasha and stood, "Thank you Inu-Kun!"
'Inu-kun!' Kagome's eyes narrowed dangerously at Kikyou as she ran off to do whatever it is she does at lunch. After the female was gone, Inu yasha turned to Kagome with a smile, kissing her cheek lovingly and lightly touching her hand.
"Sorry about that, Kag," he apologized with a smile and cupped her chin, "Kikyou was being a nuisance."
"It's fine!" Kagome smiled, knowing that she was just imagining Inu yasha cheating on her. With a smile, Inu yasha leaned down and captured her lips in a chaste kiss. Both failed to hear the click or a camera or a bright flash.
"Now then, please tell me you don't need help with your homework?" Inu yasha asked hopefully, as he drew away from Kagome and pulled out a thermos of ramen for his lunch.
"Nope!" she said proudly and tweaked his dog-ear. "I wouldn't be so cruel! Let's eat!"
"Let's," he agreed and they began to eat.
Naraku smirked as he sat in front of his computer. He was a master at graphic drawing and if he wanted to get Kagome to himself, he'd have to pull the charm.
He smirked as he cut a piece of Inu yasha away from Kagome, his face still morphed in a kiss. Pasting it onto a picture of Kikyou kissing her mirror (One of his favorite blackmail pictures), he allowed himself a small smirk. Inu yasha looked unnatural in the setting of the picture, but that would soon change.
He cackled: Kagome Higurashi would be his.
Inu yasha finally stopped in the park, his footsteps in the snow allowing Kagome to follow him easily. "Inu yasha," she whispered sadly as she stopped a few feet away from him.
He gave her a glare and looked away.
"Why are you like this, Inu yasha?" She insisted sadly, her eyes watering. "One minute you act like you might actually like me and the next you're like this! I just don't know anymore! Do you care for me or do you hate me?" Tears ran down her cheeks and she shamefully wiped them from her cheeks.
"Shut up," the man said pathetically his ears drooped and his shoulders hunched over.
"I can't, Inu," she whispered and took a step towards him, her hands extended to him. She lightly touched his shoulders.
Quick as lightning, he whipped around and caught her forearms in his powerful hands, his claws digging into the fabric of her shirt. She gasped in surprise and felt her heart race. Inu yasha was staring at her, his intense golden eyes peering at her with so much pain she felt that she'd ripped his heart in half all over again.
He looked at her; his ears drooped sadly against his silver hair, the hair waving slightly in the breeze. The long wisps of hair over his shoulders blew ominously in front of him, the silver locks dancing across his golden molten eyes.
"Why can't you just leave me alone?" he asked sadly, his eyes glazed over in his sadness and malice.
"What?" Kagome felt like he'd just stabbed her.
"I can't stand it any more!" he declared sadly and looked at her. His eyes widened for a moment and he felt his heart beating.
'No, no I can't!' he thought to him self. At this point it was too late.
His grip on her tightened and he looked into her shinning blue eyes. She looked just as confused as he felt. 'No!'
Before he could stop himself and before Kagome could react she felt his lips pressed to hers, the feelings all came in tenfold to what she was feeling and more tears fell down her cheeks. She gasped for air but still Inu yasha refused to leave her lips. The kiss wasn't sweet and innocent like she'd wished. She could feel the pain, the agony, the despair, all pent up into the one act of passion as he strived to relieve in any way possible. The feel of his lips against hers was not a delightful feeling, but a feeling of pure sadness and depressed sorrow. How had this happened? When had they gotten to the point that she couldn't look at him without her heart hurting? She had been dubbed the two timing bitch! But that's not what she was. She loved him...she loved him. So much, and she would die just to prove to him that she would never hurt again.
He pulled away and released her. Kagome's eyes widened in realization and she grabbed his wrist. "Don't leave me!"
He didn't turn to her. "Let go," he said quietly.
"NO!" she declared. "WHY ARE YOU LIKE THIS?" She demanded angrily, "Why are you like this? You treat me like shit and then your kissing me breathless!"
"Do you really want to know why?" he hissed and turned to look at her. Kagome looked at his profile and felt her heart clench at the pained expression.
"Yes," she whispered.
He bit his lip and looked at the ground, as if waiting for the earth to swallow him up and cease the pain his heart was going through. This couldn't be. This couldn't be happening to him. Why? Why after all these years did he have to feel this way?
Why did it have to be this way?
"Because," his voice cracked and he ceased speaking.
"Because what?" she demanded her fits clenching his wrist angrily.
"Because I...I...I," he gulped.
"Because WHAT?" she asked, desperate.
It seemed the whole world had frozen and all that mattered right now was the man that she held dearly in her hand. Tears followed down her cheeks and stained her shirt. Her voice cracked when she spoke, she felt so alone in this world. Her only way of knowing that she was alive was the agonizing gnawing in her heart, telling her that she had messed up. That she had ruined whatever chance they may have had ten years ago. The pathetic feeling of helplessness as she strived to remember what it felt like to be happy. Nothing mattered but the man before her.
"BECAUSE I FUCKING LOVE YOU!" he yelled loudly. Kagome's breath caught in her throat and roosting birds in nearby trees flew away at the intensity of his voice. His voice sounded hollow and defeated and he sighed once the proclamation escaped his lips.
Out of all the things he could have said, that had not been on her list. She gasped loudly and his hand released, but to her relief (or horror) he stayed in his position, his feet glued to the ground. Her eyes were wide with surprise and she looked at him, tears of relief and love as well as sorrow flowing down her cheeks.
"Wh-what?" she asked in disbelief.
"I love you," he said weakly, his head dropping and a solitary tear running down his cheek. He sheepishly wiped away the salty liquid, the small droplet resting on his hand before dropping to the earth and disappearing, all evidence of such an event gone and lost.
"You do?" she asked her eyes wide.
"Oh Gods, you don't know how much," he squeezed his eyes shut, forcing the tears down, his voice cracked emotively. "For so long, I've missed you, loved you. Gods..."
"But you...all this time...you...you..." she stopped, not really wanting to draw attention to the fact that he'd treated her terribly from the moment they'd started working together, except for those few fleeting moments when he was tender and loving, the Inu yasha she remembered.
She broke from her thoughts when she realized that Inu yasha was gently touching her ear with the mark. She felt a searing pain rush through her and she hissed.
Inu yasha smirked, "So it is true..."
"What are you talking about?" Kagome asked as she clutched her ear.
"You remember the day I gave you that mark?" he asked patiently, his voice dangerously calm and yet the undertone of his slight disgust and raw emotion still shined through.
"I could never forget," Kagome said as she looked at the snow-covered ground.
"You of course know I'm a hanyou," he said and waited for Kagome to nod before continuing. "When a youkai wants a mate, someone to spend their whole life with, they mark the mate, usually in the shoulder or the hip."
"Ok..." Kagome wasn't completely sure why he was giving her the lesson about youkai instincts.
His finger toyed lightly with her ear, his claws flicking the ear lobe. "The day I bit you, I made you my mate, Kagome."
Her eyes widened in surprise and she gasped.
"Mating only happens when the male is ready to give him self completely to the female, the female will either reject the male or accept him. You accepted me, and that gave me hope. The day we...broke up...was the day I was going to tell you. And ask you to be my mate officially...to...be my...wife." He looked away, ashamed of the amount of emotion he'd allowed to shine in his voice. "Ever since then, I've felt you," his hand lightly touched his heart.
"Felt me?" Kagome was a bit in shock, barely able to register the fact that Inu yasha had made her his mate and was going to ask her to marry him.
"Its part of being mates, they male can feel the female's feelings and presence and vise versa. Even when I was in America, I had fleeting images of you, dreams of what you had done during the day, and at times I could feel your powerful emotions. Complete sadness when you failed your college entrance exam and had to go to preparation school. Happiness when you graduated. Anger when you had a fight with your cousin. Those kinds of things," he looked away his eyes closed in a wistful memory.
He opened his eyes, "And even now, confusion when you met Rin and Kirara. Anger when you had to become my secretary. Happiness when you saw me again. Sadness when I treated you horribly..." He looked away again, not able to meet her eyes.
"You've...felt me?" she asked again, still processing the information that Inu yasha was bombarding her with.
"Yes," he nodded, his eyes pained.
"And...you love me."
"Yes," he said again.
Kagome felt her heart would burst and she felt a small tingle of hope rise in the pit of her stomach.
"But...."
Oh no...The dreaded 'but' the one word that was guaranteed to end a perfectly good confession of love, hate, anger, sadness, etcetera. It was all the same, and that small spark of hope died faster than a match underwater.
"But..." Kagome repeated Inu yasha's sentence before it trailed off.
"But I won't allow myself to feel more heartbreak," he said firmly and his eyes narrowed. Kagome looked at him sadly, unable to say a thing to his proclamation. He was afraid of heartbreak. He was afraid to love her. And she had nothing to say to him about that. What could she say? That it would be ok? How can she say that when she wasn't sure herself?
She lowered her head in defeat. She looked up alarmed, however, when Inu yasha stuck his hand out to her. In confusion, she grabbed it and he shook it firmly. "Kagome Higurashi, it was a pleasure working with you, may you find happiness and love." He pulled away and began to walk away, away from her, away from her love, away from every thing.
"You're running away..." Kagome said pathetically and laughed dryly. "You're running away...away...away."
He paused in his step and waved a hand for a taxi. As the yellow cab stopped he turned towards her, a wistful smiled dancing across his face. "Merry Christmas, Kag..."
And then he was gone.
Forever.
