Forgotten Snow
Chapter Sixteen

Kagome stared as Inu yasha climbed into the cab and drove away from her site. Forever. Forever was such a long time. She felt so alone. For the first time in her life, she realized how alone she had been until she saw him again. And now that she was gone, forgotten in the snow, she felt like her life had shattered along with her heart. The shards falling lifelessly away and flying away in the soft breeze that brushed against her pink cheeks. Her blue eyes stared at where he had once stood: his footprints still evident in the snow. She willed the Gods to just strike her now; at least she would be saved from the pain and sorrow this was causing her. A tear ran down her cheek and she lowered her head. Turning around she walked back to her office.

She was Sesshoumaru's secretary again. No longer would she be able to see Inu yasha's face. No…never again would she see Inu yasha.

As she walked into the building, it seemed that all eyes were on her. Sango walked up next to her, but she simply passed her by, her heart too shattered to even care that her friend looked as pained as her. Miroku stood somberly in a corner, his hands behind his back as he leaned against the wall, his blue eyes watched her silently and she could feel the maroon ones of her friend on her back. She couldn't face them, not now.

She numbly walked into her office, where a few stray boxes lay pointlessly on the plush carpet. The door was slightly ajar and Kagome could see into the empty and dark room. She felt her heart clench and she turned away, grabbing a box. She sat it numbly on her desk and began to pack her mementos and such into her box. Another tear fell and she angrily wiped it away.

"Kagome-Chan?" Kagome looked up at the sound of Sango's voice. The girl stood uncertainly in the doorway, her fingertips lightly brushing the doorframe, as if gripping it for support. Her ruby eyes looked at her friend hesitantly before walking in. She stood awkwardly for a moment before Kagome burst into tears. She ran towards Sango and her friend was a waiting, arms wide. As Sango locked her arms around her crying friend, Kagome sobbed sadly into Sango's shoulder. Sango rocked her from side to side, cooing softly in her friend's ear, trying to calm the woman.

"He's gone…he's gone…he's gone…" Kagome repeated over and over in a chanting mantra. Her eyes watered again as another round of sobs echoed through her chest and she gripped Sango's arms as if afraid to let go.

"Who's gone, Kagome-Chan?" Sango already knew the answer, but had to confirm it. Miroku slipped in from behind Sango and slipped the door shut with a soft click.

"Inu…yasha…" Kagome whispered pathetically. More sobs came and she collapsed to the ground, leaving Sango's arms. She pulled her knees up, wrapped he arms around them before burying her head and bawling like a baby. "Why did he have to leave?" she sobbed sadly.

"Kagome-Chan…"

"How can he say he's afraid of heartbreak? HOW!?" she demanded and stood angrily. She opened the window as best she could. "YOU HEAR ME? YOU CANT KEEP RUNNING AWAY INU!" she began to sob again and collapsed in front of the window again, her fingertips gripping the windowpane. "Why…why…why? Can't you see that I love you, that I would never break your heart?" she sobbed to the one person who couldn't hear her.

"Damn it…I love you…"


Inu yasha paid the taxi driver and stepped out of the yellow car. With a sigh he took his stuff and went inside the airport. Upon arriving at the check in table, he handed the lady his ticket and waited to be checked in. The woman tapped happily at the keyboard keys, oblivious to the pain and sorrow he was feeling. In fact, everyone here was unaware that he had left his heart back in that park. He leaned against the counter and stared at the screen, which flashed the arrival times. His flight was on time. Flight 636 at gate E16 leaving at six in the evening.

So many sixes…

As the lady asked him the typical questions of if he'd packed the bag himself, if he'd left it alone at any time, yadda yadda yadda. He said no to every one, not really paying attention. He shook his head when she asked him if he had any weapons. 'Besides my claws, no…' he thought with a smirk. The smirk quickly dissolved when his mind focused back on what he'd just done. He couldn't go back, he couldn't face her. He just couldn't. It was too painful knowing that he'd messed up. Kagome would be better without him. His heart did a painful jolt and the feeling of overbearing sadness overfilled him.

'Kagome's crying,' he thought as the emotion of his mate overflowed his being and overpowered his dead heart tenfold. He had grown accustomed to feeling Kagome's feelings, but this time he knew that he was the one who'd caused her to feel this much emotion.

'Forgive me, my mate,' he thought sadly, perhaps she would hear his plea, and after all they were connected. But not completely…she never marked him. It was a one-way connection….

His hand trailed down to his pocket and his fingers wrapped around themselves and the items in the pocket. His eyes saddened and he shook his head. The airport worker smiled and handed back his ticket, telling him all the information he already knew. What flight number, what gate number and what time. All those sixes…

"Thank you," he mumbled and trailed away to get his carryon checked. He never threw anything into the bottom of the plane; he always had that strange idea that he would lose his bag if he did so, thus, he always carried on. Plus, it wasn't like he was bringing much with him. Mostly all of him was being left here in Japan.

An image of Kagome flashed in front of his face and he shook his head furiously. This was ridiculous. One decade ago he had had no problem walking away. Why now did it feel like every step was like stepping on rusty nails barefoot? His heart throbbed as images of Kagome crying filled his head. Oh gods how he loved her…but…

No.

He couldn't…he had to leave.

He placed his bag on the X-ray carry on check in and waited for permission to step through the small metal doorway. "Please remove any metal and your shoes, sir," stated a young lady who stood near the doorway. He nodded and slipped off his shoes, revealing his bare feet. He slipped into his pocket and pulled out a small box, then his watch off his wrist, his wallet, his rental car keys (darn he'd forgotten to return that…ah well), and various other metal objects. The worker nodded and he stepped through without any trouble. The woman smiled and handed back his shoes, his metal mementos and his bag. "Thank you sir, have a good day," she said cheerfully and went to assist the next person in line.

Slipping on his watch, Inu yasha stood, grabbed his bag and walked towards his gate. Checking said watch, he sighed, ten minutes until boarding.

He sat down in the only open seat he could find near an old woman. The woman turned and greeted him with a smile and he returned it sadly. He felt that perhaps he would never smile again.

"So are you going home or visiting?" the woman asked politely.

It took a moment before Inu yasha realized the woman was speaking to him. After looking around for someone else she could be talking to he turned back to look at her and she smiled, "Yes, I'm talking to you."

He flushed slightly and sighed looking at the ceiling. "I don't know what I'm doing," he admitted.

The woman stuck out a hand and he glanced at it with a raised eyebrow. Taking the hand hesitantly the woman beamed at him, "My name's Kaede."

"Inu yasha," he introduced himself and released her hand, leaning back in the small airport chair. "Nice to meet you," he added half-heartedly.

"Why is it that I don't believe you?" Kaede asked with a warm smile and soft nudge in the ribs. "Are you, perhaps, leaving someone behind?" When Inu yasha tensed up she chuckled. "Yes, I had to leave my husband so many years ago. I'm finally going to see him again." Inu yasha looked at her in confusion and she turned to regard him. "You never realize how beautiful life is until you're my age, boy, you seem very young."

"I suppose," Inu yasha raised an eyebrow; true he was only in his late twenties but this woman had to be in her seventies or sixties. She seemed old and wise and for the first time he realized she was wearing an eye patch.

Kaede saw him staring and turned an eye to him, "Got this in the second world war." At Inu yasha skeptical look she snorted, "I was a little girl, I fell on the ground and there just happened to be—" When Inu yasha cringed she decided to stop the tale and smiled. "But that's not a story worth being retold," she nodded more to herself than to Inu yasha.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to stare," Inu yasha pouted slightly, he felt extremely uncomfortable with this woman. She kept staring at him and smiling.

"Its ok, too many people stare nowadays for me to really care," the old woman admitted, she pushed some of her gray hair away from her face, her creepy smile never leaving her face. "AH," she said after a moment, causing the silver haired hanyou to jump, "I know why you're here."

He gave her a disbelieving look.

"You're running away," Kaede nodded and crossed her arms. Inu yasha mentally groaned. Why did everyone have to say that?

"What? Why does everyone say that?" Inu yasha growled in frustration and crossed his own arms with a snort, "And I am not. I don't know where you got that idea."

"I have my ways, young one," Kaede said seriously and gave him a glare, "I don't tell this to many people, considering it will make people worry. But I am gifted and I can tell you're a very strong person, but I can tell your soul is damaged. I can assure you running away will not heal it."

He blinked at her and glared, "What do you know, you old hag?"

"Ah where did those manners go, Inu yasha?" she tutted and shook her head, "People nowadays, have no respect for their elders." She looked back at him; "Kagome may have hurt you but you're hurting her more than she could ever have done to you." Inu yasha's eyes widened and he spotted a new seat.

He stood up and grabbed his bag. Just as he was about to walk away a voice rang out over the intercoms, "Now boarding rows one through five for flight 636 to Los Angeles, California is now boarding."

"Well, I should be going grandma, see you," Inu yasha did a mock wave to the old woman and turned to leave.

"Stop running away, Inu yasha," Kaede said seriously. Inu yasha reminded himself never to talk to people in airports unless absolutely necessary from now on.

He looked out the window with small frown. "Goodbye, Kagome," he said softly before standing in line with the rest of the passengers.

'Forgive me…'


After Kagome had told the story of what happened in the park to Sango and Miroku, the room was filled with an awkward silence with an occasional sniff and sob from Kagome. Sango wiped away a tear from her eye and sighed. "I knew he loved you," she muttered more to herself than anyone else.

Miroku stood solemnly watching the two females cry. 'Inu yasha, you moron,' he thought as he looked at Kagome's blotched face and puffy red eyes. 'She loves you so dearly, look what you're doing to her.'

"Kagome, why don't you go after him?" Sango asked as her eyes filled with twinkling stars, her being a hopeless romantic, and her little mind was already playing out the desperately quixotic scene that could happen.

Kagome rolled her eyes and frowned. With a shake of her head she stood. "Sango, this isn't the movies, this isn't a romance novel. This is the real world. This is life. Life will never have a happy ending. I can't just storm to the airport and expect to get to Inu yasha before he takes off. They won't even let me past the first gate without a ticket. And it's too late to buy a ticket, so don't ask."

"But Kagome—"

"NO! Its over," Kagome said and stormed towards the door. "If he wants to leave and run away then let him! He can do whatever he wants for all I care! Maybe he'll finally be able to let me go and I him! I will not chase after him like a lost puppy!" She wiped tears from her eyes and opened the door. "I'm sorry, but…it's gone…nothing good can happen if I go to that airport. He's gone now…forever…I'll just have to learn to accept it." She began to walk out the doors. "Sango, tell Sesshoumaru I'm taking the rest of the week off."

"But Kagome—"

"Thanks."


It had been three days. Three days without Inu yasha, and true to her word, she hadn't gone to him nor gone to work. Her phone rang endlessly, the caller ID either Sango or Miroku but she never answered. She didn't have the heart to speak to her friends. She was a crushed soul and she felt like she couldn't go on. It was Christmas Eve and she was the loneliest soul in the world. She used to love this time of year and now she couldn't stand the fact that was alone. Sure, she could go visit her mother or Sango or even Miroku, but neither of them held the passion she longed to have on this loving holiday. Only one person was in this world she wanted to be with. And he was gone half way across the world.

She licked her lips and bowed her head as she plopped down onto a kitchen chair. Her feet stretched out and she popped some of her dinner into her mouth. She chewed the food but it tasted like cardboard to her. No taste at all. She groaned, "I'm such a nervous wreck, this is pathetic! Why can't I just let him go?"

She sighed and answered her own question, "Because I know he loves me and I love him." She touched her ear where the mark of a mate flared under her fingertips. "You've never hurt before…"

She sighed and stood. "Terrific, I'm talking to myself now. I need to call my mom."

After doing so and having a brief explanation to her mother, Kagome walked to the door, locked it and was soon on her way to her mothers.


Kagome walked sadly through the halls of her school, her book bag hanging on her shoulder. Inu yasha had left her for America. She was alone in this world. She didn't know why it bothered her; he cheated on her and with Kikyou, too. Then he'd just left. But why did it hurt so much if she didn't love him any more?

Thundering footsteps echoed down the hallway and Kagome paused in her steps, knowing who it was. When the footsteps stopped and a hand was wrapped around her waist Kagome smiled softly, "Hi, Naraku."

"Hello Kagome," he said and pulled her closer to him. Her heart beat quickened slightly before stopping. Kagome sobered, why wasn't he making her giggle like a schoolgirl like before? He had always made her heart quicken to the point of explosion. Now…

"How are you baby?" He asked her with a smirk.

"Ok…" Kagome said and located her class. "I have to go now, Naraku, goodbye," she made a beeline for her classroom and was soon gone, clicking the door shut behind her.

She sat down and began to prepare herself for a lecture. The seat next to her remained empty throughout the whole lesson…it had been Inu's seat…

But he was gone.

It was at lunchtime that Kagome was found alone at her seat. Naraku insisted on eating with his friends, but Kagome wasn't too found of Naraku's friends. And unlike a proper gentleman, Naraku did not accompany her when she told him she would eat somewhere else but instead would eat with his friends. When she had been with Inu yasha, he had eaten with her despite the fact he'd rather eat with his friends. He preferred her any day he told her. But he was gone, and she had to get her mind off him! She shook her had vigorously and dug into her food.

Ramen…Inu yasha's favorite.

"Stop it," she told her self angrily, "He's gone, out of your life. Get over it!"

"Higurashi-San!" came a desperate voice. Kagome tensed, recognizing the voice.

"Kikyou…" Kagome greeted coldly and much to her horror watched as Kikyou sat down across from Kagome. She looked fearful and sad. "What do you want?" Kagome snapped, angry…this was the girl who ruined her and Inu yasha's relationship. She'd seen him kissing her. She'd seduced him or something…

"Higurashi-San! I heard that Inu yasha left!" Kagome mentally smirked when the girl didn't call him
'Inu-kun.'

"Yeah, he left for
America, why are you missing your boyfriend already?" she asked coolly.

Kikyou's eyes widened before she shook her head. "That's why I'm here! Naraku has been lying to you!"

"What?"

"Don't you know what Naraku's favorite hobby is?" Kikyou asked, her brown eyes wide and desperate. Kagome shook her head, she basically knew nothing of Naraku. "Digital Drawing! He's a master at Photoshop! That picture he gave you was just two pictures combined into one!"

"I don't believe you!" Kagome dug into her backpack and pulled out the picture. It showed Inu yasha kissing Kikyou quite clearly. "He's kissing you, Kikyou!"

"No, he's not, he's kissing you!" Kikyou protested and dug around in her own knapsack. She pulled out two photographs. Kagome's eyes widened in realization as she saw a picture of her kissing Inu yasha and another of Kikyou kissing her reflection. (She didn't ask about that, it being the least of her worries).

"Bu-but!" Kagome felt tears fill her eyes. Inu yasha had been framed! She had blamed him for something he hadn't done and she was so stupid! She hadn't even told him why they were breaking up!

"My brother…he tricked you…" Kikyou said sadly, her eyes pained and she looked like she was going to cry. "I won't deny the fact I liked Inu yasha. But I would never steal him away from you, Higurashi-San!" A tear slid down her cheek and she looked away. "I'm so sorry."

Kagome sat in a stunned silence as the words hit her like a ton of bricks. Kikyou was an innocent girl who had a crush on someone's boyfriend. But she hadn't tried to steal the boy, she had simply become his friend, hoping that perhaps someday she'd meet someone to love as much as the boy loved Kagome. But now…now it was ruined for everyone. Inu yasha, Kikyou and herself. Kagome stared at the younger girl in awe. Kikyou was so elegant and graceful, yet so naïve and innocent. She hadn't been aware of what her brother was doing and had been unable to stop him.

"Kikyou…" Kagome whispered, "Thank you."

After that day, they had become the best of friends. They had remained friends until they both graduated from college at the top of their class; they had spent so much time together. But like most things, time pulled their friendship apart and they drifted away. Kikyou had gone on to become teacher for the underprivileged in third world countries. At first she would receive detailed letters on what she'd been doing. But over time the letters had lessened and shortened until they had disappeared completely. Three years ago she'd lost touch with Kikyou and she missed her.

But from the last letter she received, Kikyou seemed to be doing well, getting married to a sweet man she worked with. Kagome was happy that she had finally learned to let what happened in
Japan go away into her far away memories. For that, Kagome envied her friend.

Anyways, after the discovering of Naraku's plot, Kagome was anything but calm. In fact, she was downright angry. She thanked Kikyou and stood up. Walking towards Naraku's table she pasted on a fake smile.

Naraku was laughing with his friends, but upon her arrival the said friends seemed to sense her dark aura and snapped her mouths shut, staring on in stunned silence. Naraku, however, failed to feel the deadly aura that surrounded Kagome. "Naraku, dear, may I have a word with you?"

"Of course, Kagome," he said with a smile and stood up, unaware of the bomb that hung above his head, inching towards him ever so slowly.

Kagome smiled with fake cheerfulness, her blue eyes flaming with a hidden fire and her fists clenched. "Naraku darling, did you know that Inu yasha moved away?"

Kagome watched the emotion flash by Naraku's face. Cockiness, power, and then fake sadness. "Is that so? Poor guy."

Kagome's hands fisted tighter. "Yes it's
TOO bad, isn't it? But it's not like I CARE because we all know he's been CHEATING on me with KIKYOU?" she snapped angrily. Naraku finally seemed to sense the danger he was in and he backed away a step.

"Kagome-Chan, what's wrong?"

"Don't call me that you sneaky little rat," Kagome snarled and it seemed that Naraku shrunk and she grew to the size of a tall building, her aura flaming into a dark fire surrounding her. Her blue eyes blazed and her lips curled into a snarl. "YOU LIED TO ME!"

She flew her hand out and punched the boy in the face. Now, Naraku can be despicable and disgusting, but he knew better than to touch a girl. He touched his puffy cheek in surprise and wide eyes. "Kagome—"

Tears fell from her eyes, "YOU LIED TO ME! YOU MADE ME BREAK UP WITH INU YASHA! I can never forgive you. We're through!"

She turned on her heel and marched out of the cafeteria, every pair of eyes on her. It was that day forward that Kagome wouldn't date any boy from her high school. It was only after college (when she'd thought that she was over Inu) that she started dating again.



"Here you are, Kagome dear," Mrs. Higurashi smiled warmly at her daughter and handed her a cup of hot chocolate. It was Christmas Eve and Kagome had decided to go visit her mother. After all, she was alone on Christmas, too. She was going down to Kyoto with Souta to visit his family and spend Christmas day with him, but Kagome didn't really want to leave Tokyo. She seemed to hang onto the fleeting thought that she'd walk into her office and Inu yasha would be there laughing and telling her she fell for the biggest joke of the century. Ridiculous, but a hope.

"Thanks mom," Kagome took a sip of the liquid chocolate and sat silently in her chair. The small Christmas tree (about the size of a lamp) sat in a corner, its lights twinkling. Kagome's family wasn't Christian, but they still liked celebrating the Western Holiday, the tree and the present exchanging the favorite parts. Kagome took a huge gulp of the lukewarm chocolate and smiled at her mother.

She had already told her mother the story of what had happened three days ago and she felt totally crushed. The dejected soul of her daughter had come slinking into her house and she had felt for her daughter. She had felt for Inu yasha too. Even after his disappearance from her daughter's life, Mrs. Higurashi couldn't help but see Inu yasha as a son she'd had loved to see with her daughter. They had truly been perfect for one another…

She smiled at her daughter and lightly touched her shoulder. "Kagome all will be fine in the end. It's like Buddha says: Everything happens for a reason," she said softly.

Kagome looked at her mother and nodded sadly, "Thanks, mom…"

"Kagome…there is much you have left to learn, you're still young, and you haven't even turned thirty yet. But yet you're as old as the oldest soul, you've suffered a lot. Heartbreak and love sickness is a horrible thing at times. A broken heart is the one sickness that doesn't have a cure and it's unsure how long it takes to heal itself. But until that time, the heart helps show the keeper how strong you can be."

"Thanks for the preaching, mom," Kagome said sadly and smiled, "But I think it will be awhile before I can move on."

"I understand, dear, just know I'm always here for you when you need to talk," Kagome's mother smiled and stood up as the phone rang. "That will be Souta, want to say hi?"

"No thank you, mom, I really should be going," Kagome smiled and went to the door. "Merry Christmas, Mom!"

"Merry Christmas, Kagome, sleep well tonight," Kagome's mother called as she picked up the phone. "Hello? Oh hello Souta dear…yes I'm packed…"


Kagome walked to her apartment with a heavy heart. Sure, her visit with her mother had helped, but now that she was out of the embrace of her mother, she felt raw and alone. Her hand touched the doorknob and slipped open with a soft squeak. She was met with the darkness of the night and she felt a stray tear fall down her cheek. She glared numbly at the floor. Why was she so weak all of a sudden? Why was everything making her cry?

'Because I'm heartbroken,' Kagome thought to herself sadly as she sniffed. Popping off her shoes Kagome hung her jacket on the small hook. The normal hook she hung it on was occupied by another jacket and with a sigh she pushed it aside to find another hook. Closing the door softly behind her she dropped her shoes in the foyer and made her way towards the kitchen. Hadn't she left some light on? She couldn't remember. It was so dark it actually fit her mood perfectly…

She walked to her living room and sat down on the floor, staring at her feet as she lay on the soft carpet. Soon her eyes drifted to the ceiling and she sighed, closing her blue orbs.

After a few moments of lying, she sat up and decided that she would head to bed. She stood and dusted invisible dust off her outfit.

She turned and gasped loudly as her eyes settled on a figure sitting in a chair. His arms rested on his thighs, the hands hanging lifelessly and his head bowed, drawing attention to his twitching dog-ears. His long silver hair cascaded over his shoulders and down his back. It suddenly clicked. Her door being unlocked, the jacket on the hook, the darkness…

"Inu yasha?" she asked in disbelief. It couldn't be, he was in America!

She gasped in surprise when his face suddenly snapped up and his golden eyes, hazed with sleepiness locked with hers in a deadly gaze. She felt like she could be struck dead by that passionate gaze, his eyes were so intense with sadness…and love…yes that's what it was. She was glued to the spot and her eyes stayed locked with his even when he stood and his body towered over hers.

"What are you doing here?" she vocalized her thoughts.

He looked away and didn't answer at once. Instead of answering her directly he simply said, "I don't celebrate Christmas, Kagome." He looked like he was going to say more, but hesitated.

"I know that," Kagome said in confusion, her brows knitting together in slight annoyance, "What's that got to do with any—"

She was cut off, however, when Inu yasha pressed his lips against hers in a desperate way to feel alive. Somehow knowing that he could submit to these earthly pleasures such as kissing he felt that he truly was alive and was not some distant echo of what could have been…what was now…what was to become.

"I thought you were in America," she breathed when he pulled away.

"I realized something when I was getting on the plane, Kagome," he whispered softly, as if afraid to state what he was thinking, as if he was still afraid of rejection. In the darkness Kagome saw his ears droop almost as low as his ego and his pride, two things that had been lost over the course of seeing each other. "I realized that I couldn't live without you…so…I left the airport as fast as I could."

"You never got on the plane?" Kagome asked in surprise.

Inu yasha smiled softly and nodded his head, his ears twitched fondly and his golden eyes stared at her for a long moment. Kagome had never realized how intense this man could be, even the most imperceptible of actions revealed what he was feeling what was going on inside him. He'd gone through a whole transformation from a cocky bastard to what could be described as; perhaps, sensitive…she didn't really go that far. He'd risked so much coming here, willing to put what little bit of pride he had left on the line. He had been a coward, he had run away…but he had come back after he thought about his actions…but…

"You've been here for three days and only now you decided to see me?" Kagome said, annoyance and anger evident in her voice.

Inu yasha nodded slightly and sighed, "I was afraid…after those things I said in the park…I wasn't sure if you'd welcome me…"

"Inu yasha…"

He looked away, his cheeks painted with a slight blush. "I'm a coward, Kagome," he said softly, his voice sad. The air was still and it seemed both of them were waiting for the other to move. Neither seemed to breathe and the only sound was the soft ticking of a wall clock in the background. Kagome felt her heart beating five times its normal speed. Inu yasha felt empty and he wanted fulfillment, yet he was afraid to tell her…afraid…he was so afraid. He'd risked so much coming here, breaking into her house in hopes of seeing her again. He had to do this.

"Inu yasha…" she repeated and took a step towards him.

"Kagome…" he gulped suddenly feeling sheepish and anxious. "I don't know what came over me…I should go…"

He began to walk away but Kagome's soft pale hand grabbed his coarse hands, the hard skin feeling scratchy under he pale and elegant fingertips. He turned to regard her, his golden eyes alit with such strong emotions it was a wonder he could hold it all in. Kagome met his gaze with her own intense stare, her blue eyes filling with tears but willed them not to fall. Her blue eyes locked with his golden eyes as they had done so many times before. But this time, this time the intensity was enough to melt a rock.

"Let me go," he whispered pathetically as he tried to leave her grasp without hurting her, but Kagome wouldn't release him.

"Why did you come here, Inu yasha?" she said and looked at him sadly, "Please don't run away from me."

He stared at her for a long moment before he nodded. Kagome smiled softly and released his wrist. They stood looking at one another silently sizing them up and wondering if all this pain was truly worth it. Inu yasha glanced at the mark he'd made and he had no doubt in his mind. This was worth everything…he'd give her his life…he meant nothing in comparison to this beautiful goddess who held his heart so tenderly in her hands.

"I don't know…" he admitted, he actually was lying but the nerve he'd been building up for the past three days had just flown out the window.

"So you came to my house for no reason at all?" Kagome pressed, slightly uncomfortable with this situation. Their last encounter still played fresh in her mind.

He gave her a small glare and she felt her heart stop at the deadly look. Ashamed she turned away, making a beeline for her bedroom. However, Inu yasha had other plans and he grabbed her shoulder softly. "Now who's the one running away?"

"I…" Kagome trailed off, unable to finish. Instead she turned to look at the wall and remained silent. He didn't let go of her shoulder; in fact his empty hand reached up to cup her other one, turning her towards him. Hesitantly she met his eyes, the golden pools stared down at her and a shadow of a smile danced across his handsome features. She felt herself melting and she returned the small smile with her own. Somehow this seemed so natural, like everything they'd had to endure until this moment was (in a very sadistic way) worth it. Like the Gods had tested their relationship in the only way they knew how. Yes, the Gods had been cruel to them, but what didn't kill you only made you stronger…or makes you need some serious need of therapy.

He leaned forward and rested his head over hers, Kagome gasped softly as she inhaled his sweet scent. The fragrant smell of pine and spice filled her nose and she smiled softly against his flesh. Her arms slinked around and wrapped around the man before her. Somehow everything would work out…right?

She sighed softly as his hands traveled down to warp around her waist, pulling her closer. She could hear him sniffing her, as if trying to memorize her scent and she giggled slightly when his nose bumped her ear. The small pain that prickled her ear now was present but she seemed to either not notice or care. All she wanted was to remain in the arms of Inu yasha forever.

He had come back for her, she didn't know why he did so…after all she was lying and two timing bitch, but yet…she knew that Inu yasha had forgiven her for the things she did, but she hadn't quiet forgiven herself. But then again, he hadn't been little prince charming either. All and all, they shared the same pain and together could ease that same pain.

He grew still and his breaths evened out, his breath caressing her cheek slightly while hers danced across his neck and his slightly exposed shoulders. His hands began to lightly massage her back. She pulled away and looked up at his deep eyes with a confused look on her face. How could he be so cruel and then treat her like she was the only one in the world? She wondered idly if at this moment that was true…

"Inu yasha…" she whispered breathless from his smooth touches and his gentle look. "I don't understand…"

He looked at her a long moment as if trying to get some shred of information he was too afraid to ask. His hands held her hips lightly, his thumb caressing the skin under her shirt. Finally he blinked and swallowed hard. Whatever he was about to say was really going to ware away at his pride. He swallowed what little dignity he had left, however, and looked at Kagome with soft eyes, the golden pools twirling and swirling with all the love and admiration he held for her. Kagome knew that he loved her…but to what extent? His hands released her and flopped down next to his sides, swinging slightly before coming to a stop. His fingers curled faintly and the claws dug into the palm of his pale and rough palm. His golden eyes left hers only briefly before he spoke.

"I messed up Kagome…" he looked away, losing his nerve slightly and he began to stutter…something that embarrassed him beyond all reason. "But…I'd like a second chance…if you're willing to give it to me…that is…" He seemed hesitant, ready to bolt, his hands were hanging lifelessly at his sides and his eyes suddenly seemed dull. Like he was dead and she was the only way to revive him.

Kagome smiled and walked towards him, her hands gently cupping his cheeks. He tensed slightly almost as if he was expecting her to slap him and kick him out of her home. She simply looked into his eyes, the golden eyes seemed lifeless with fear but yet they still glowed in the pale moonlight. It was moments like these that made Kagome realize that he was only a small child begging for acceptance. "Only…" she said softly and blushed, "Only if you give me a second chance as well…" And she meant it. What she had done to him was inexcusable and unforgivable. And yet, here he stood giving his heart to her…

He smiled softly, and Kagome felt her heart warm. There was a moment of silence between them before Inu yasha nodded slightly. His arms wrapped around her waist and he held her close.

She pulled away and ran from the room. In his confusion, Inu yasha stood stock still, his whole body doing a very good impression of a lamppost. Had she wanted him to declare his love to her like in those sappy soap operas instead of only a nod? It took a lot of courage for him to stand here, and at this moment, he felt that words could never express what he was feeling. But why had she forgiven him only to run away from him?

He looked up in relief when Kagome's scent filled the room again and she came trotting to him, her hand holding something. He blinked in innocent confusion and looked at her curiously. She smiled delicately and flushed.

It was only when she stood up on her tiptoes that he realized what it was and it caused him to immediately relax and his eyes to alleviate. Kagome smiled as she slipped the rosary around his neck, the beads and the small teeth clinking together and they seemed to glow in as if recognizing the man it now accessorized.

"This is…"

"I kept it," she said blushing in embarrassment. "I couldn't stand to just get rid of it," she said and looked at her feet. She looked up at him briefly before coloring and returning her gaze to the floor. "A part of me knew that I should hold on to them…I felt that it somehow kept me connected to you…I know that sounds lame." The room filled with an awkward silence where Inu yasha simply gazed at Kagome tenderly and Kagome looked at the ground in shame. He reached out a hand and touched the beads softly; the round balls clinked together and rolled along his fingertips. He smiled gently and dropped his hand.

"We're even now," Kagome said suddenly.

"What?" Inu yasha asked in amazement a dark eyebrow rose to his hairline, his ears perked forward in fascination.

"I broke your heart…" she said tenderly and placed her hand on his chest directly over his heart. The beads danced across her soft skin and her fingers felt hot compared to the cool silk that Inu yasha's shirt was made from. She looked at him as a stray tear ran down her cheek. He reached up and idly wiped it away, his golden eyes locked with hers. "And you broke mine," she finished and grabbed the hand, placing it over her heart as well. Inu yasha reddened slightly and she giggled. "And together we can mend each other's broken spirits…"

"Kagome…" he marveled at her sincerity and he smiled down at her.

"We're soul mates, Inu yasha," she said, her eyes widening in realization. "How else could we stand to take the abuse we have put ourselves and each other through?" Her eyes softened and she leaned against his chest.

"Soul mates…" Inu yasha said, testing the word on his tongue. He smiled delicately, still slightly uncomfortable in Kagome's apartment. Only three days prior he'd walked away from her and broken her heart even more, shattering the already devastated shards. But yet…here she was in his arms and he couldn't help but feel unworthy and ugly in comparison to Kagome. He failed in comparison to her gaping beauty. Perhaps this was a dream…?

"Yes…" she agreed and held him tightly. She leaned up and brushed her lips against the bottom side of her chin. He gasped in surprise and froze. How could Kagome be like this? How could she just pretend what had happened was in the past?

"Why?" he asked her quietly.

"Why what?" she said equally as quiet.

"Why are you so loving and caring to me even after all I've done to you?" he asked his eyes pained and his heart throbbing painfully.

Kagome looked at him for a long moment. "How can you still love me even after all I've done to you?" she decided to answer his question with her own question. At the widening of Inu yasha's eyes she figured that he'd answered the question. "And there is your answer, Inu," she said softly looking at him lovingly.

"I guess we both have a lot to learn, ne?" he asked softly as he grabbed her hand. He started to walk, dragging Kagome behind him, in her confusion Kagome allowed him to drag her. They stopped a few feet later and Kagome looked at him with a bemused expression.

"I don't celebrate Christmas, Kagome," Inu yasha repeated what he had said earlier. But this time he didn't seem quite as hesitant.

"Yes I know this, you've mentioned this, but I don't know why this matters," Kagome said with a smile, "You're so confusing sometimes Inu yasha…"

"Its just that…" he pointed up and Kagome looked up to see what he was pointing at. She let out a little laugh as the small mistletoe met her gaze.

"Typical," she said and rolled her eyes, "So full of surprises…"

He smiled and cupped her face. He leaned forward and captured her lips. And unlike the recent kisses Kagome could feel no remorse and no sadness in this kiss just the pure joy and love that he could only express in his actions. He held her to him as if afraid to let go and crushed his lips against hers. She felt her breath leave her and she desperately clung to Inu yasha like her life depended on it. The kiss was soft and sweet, their lips moving against one another in a small circular motion, his teeth nibbling softly at her bottom lip. To put it bluntly, she was in heaven.

As he pulled away he placed something in Kagome's hand, "I'd like to make an exception this year…"

She blinked in confusion and looked at what she'd given her. Her breath caught and she stared back at him, her eyes wide. He smiled softly and nodded. Opening the small velvet box she gasped and her eyes welled up with tears.

"Years ago," Inu yasha said his voice raw with emotion. "I was going to tell you that I had marked you…that I had unintentionally made you my mate. But you broke up with me before I could. Now I stand before you, Kagome Higurashi, ten years older. Ten years I've felt you and wished to be near you."

He took a big breath and looked down at her who returned the gaze silently. "Now I ask you, Kagome…will you be my mate…my wife?" Kagome closed her eyes and visibly shimmered with joy as he lightly touched her hand.

"Yes…" she said breathlessly and felt him smile as he kissed her lips. Taking the small box from her hands he took out the silver band with the small blue diamond on it and slipped it onto her finger, lightly kissing her marked ear. As he pulled away he smiled down at her.

"Inu yasha…"

"I'll never let you go, Kagome," Inu yasha stated firmly and Kagome didn't doubt his words for a moment. His voice was powerful holding all the emotion he'd hidden for so long…

…They were finally together and nothing would take them away. Through the course of their pain and suffering, their hearts had grown to the point that nothing could break them, nothing could tear them apart and nothing would break their trust ever again.

Kagome looked up at Inu yasha, her eyes shimmering with unshed tears as she wrapped her arms around his neck. Rocking her slightly back he finally felt like his life was complete, like everything truly was worth it. As long as he got to hold her a little longer…just a little longer.

"Merry Christmas…Kagome…"



Drift away in the snowy night…
Nothing in this world will feel right
To die a death to dry your tear
To wait forever to hold you near
to light my way through darkest night
Holding you now feels so right
to forget all our worries and fear
until our foggy road turns clear
to seal our fate with out bleeding heart
so we'll never again be apart
I'll love you more than you'll ever know
we're just lovers lost in forgotten snow