Disclaimer: Feh.
A/N: Hello! It's Taji! I know we said we were doing Sano and the Ape Ricots
next, but...we didn't! SO HA! I'm writing this chapter because...I did the
first chapter, Kohana did the second chapter, and I like patterns, so I'm
doing the third chapter. Sano and the Ape Ricots will be coming as soon as
Kohana and I can get together to write it.
TO THE STORY!
______________________________
Episode 3: Saitou Does Not Like Green Eggs and Ham
__________________________________________
Saitou Hajime walked along a fairly well trodden path to the dwelling of
Himura Kenshin – the Kamiya dojo.
Kenshin: *pops out of the dojo* Oro? *looks up at Saitou and narrows his
eyes* ...Saitou.
Saitou: *also narrows his eyes...more* Battousai.
Kenshin: Saitou.
Saitou: Battousai.
Kenshin: Saitou.
Saitou: Battousai.
Sanosuke: *shakes his fist at them while eating a bag of Doritos* GET OFFA
MAH LAWN YOU CRAZY KIDS!!!
Saitou: NEVERRRRR! Muahahahaha...Muahahahaha...MUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA---
*cough. hack. wheeze.*
Kaoru: GASP! *rushes over to Saitou* Oh, are you all right, dear? Let
grandma make you some nice fresh chocolate chip cookies, okay?
Saitou: *sniffs and wipes tears from his eyes* Th-th-thanks, gramma.
*sniff*
Kaoru: Oh, don't mention it, dear! *magically produces chocolate chip
cookies out of thin air*
Kenshin: Oroooo? *suddenly gets a glazed look, as if he was in a trance. Or
on drugs.* HITORI DE WA, TOOI ASHITA WO! YOAKE NO MAMA DE, KOESOU DE!
Yahiko: *runs out of the dojo and smashes a rock on Kenshin's head*
KENSHIN!!!! WHAT DID I TELL YOU ABOUT SINGING YOUR OWN THEME SONG?!?!
Kenshin: .... X_x
Yahiko: Uh...Kenshin? 0.0 Ken...shin...? *pokes Kenshin with a stick*
Kenshin: ... *twitches slightly* x_X
Saitou: *wipes the last of the cookie crumbs from his mouth.* Now where was
I?
Sanosuke: WEEEEEEEE'RE OFF TO SEE THE WIZARD, THE WONDERFUL WIZARD OF OZ!
Saitou: Ah, yes. ---HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAA! NEEEEVVVVVERRRRR!!!!!!!
Misao: *walks out of a tree* Not even in a train in the rain?
Saitou: No, I will not get off the lawn, not even in a train in the rain.
Misao: *stands on her tiptoes, rocking back and forth to the rhythm of her
words* Will you get off the lawn in a boat with a moat?
Saitou: No, I will not get off the lawn in a boat with a moat, or a train
in the rain.
Misao: Will you do it with a frog in a bog? Or a mole that you stole? Or in
the room with the vacuum? Or on a saddle, with a paddle?
Saitou: *appears to be getting frustrated* No! I will not get off the lawn
in a train in the rain, nor a boat with a moat, not with a frog in a bog,
or a mole that I stole, I will not do it in a room with a vacuum, and not
on a saddle with a paddle; I will not get off the lawn anywhere! I will
not, will not eat green eggs and ham!
Misao: -_-;;; Don't change the subject, you jerk! *runs away crying*
Aoshi: MOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!! *sits down and starts chewing the grass
contentedly*
Saitou: When did Shinomori get here?
Sanosuke: *gazes off into the distant wonderingly* Who knows, Saitou? Who
in this modern, fast-paced world knows? Who knows...?
Kaoru: *switches on the X-files theme music*
Yahiko: Kenshin?! Kenshin! Wake up! *starts crying* Keeennnshiiin!!!
Kenshin: X_____x
Yahiko: WHY, OH WHY?!
WWWWWWWWWWHHHHHHHHHHHYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY???????!!!!!!!!???????!!!!!!!!!!??????
?? AAAAAAARRRRRRRGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!
Everyone: O.O" *backs away slowly*
Yahiko: *grabs Dr. Genzai out of thin air* YOU! TELL ME WHY!!!!
Genzai: I got the blues, yeeeaaah!
Yahiko: GRRRRRRRRR!!!!!! *throws Genzai into the Dead Sea and laughs evilly
while an elephant wanders past and swallows Egypt.*
Saitou: *realizes he has run out of cigarettes.*
Sano: Run outta ciggys there, mister? I'll get you some!
Saitou: SHUT UP! I HATE YOU! *twitches and lights a stick on fire, then
puts it in his mouth* ...It's...It's...IT'S JUST NOT THE SAME!
WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!!!!!!!!
Soujiro: *walks by with Pea-san, holding a tray of candles* CANDLES! GET
YOUR CANDLES!
Aoshi: MOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! *eats Soujiro's hair*
Soujiro: ACK! That won't do at all! GET AWAY FROM ME, YOU STUPID COW!
*whacks Aoshi with a dead beaver and grows new hair*
Aoshi: @___@ Moooooooooooooo...Ow....Mooooooooooo...
Pea-san: I WANT TO STEAL YOUR PEAS!
Soujiro: Hai, now isn't that the truth? CANDLES! GET 'EM WHILE THEY'RE HOT!
Saitou: Battousai, I bring you greetings from Mars.
Kenshin: Cool.
Yahiko: Wha...? O.o I thought you were---B-but you were just---
Kenshin: Yes. A professional wild chicken tamer.
Kaoru: Pa wants his cupcakes, little Mary! Here you go! *hands cupcakes to
a random little kid*
Little Kid: But, miss, my name is Steven...And my Pa got killeded when that
ol' soda machine crashed down on him and squashed his brains. They didn't
taste as good when they were squashed...
Everyone: *turns around slowly to stare at him*
L.K.: *nervously* Not that I ate them or anything! Eh...heh...heh...No, I'm not
an evil alien trying to take over your puny planet of e-arth...YOU'RE SO
MEAN! *runs away*
Saitou: Ahem. Battousai, I suggest we finish our duel from the days of the
Revolution.
Kenshin: Hai, de gozaru yo.
Both: *suddenly whip out decks of cards from somewhere* IT'S TIME TO D-D-D-
D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-
D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-
D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-
DDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUEEEEEEEEEEEEELLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Kenshin: I SUMMON BLUE EYES WHITE DRAGON!
Saitou: AHA! NOW I SHALL SUMMON KURIBOH, THE WEAKEST FUZZBALL EVER AND
MAGICALLY DESTROY YOUR DRAGON BECAUSE I BELIEVE IN THE HEART OF THE
MEATLOAF!
Kenshin: The Heart of the Meatloaf will never defeat...THE HEART OF THE PORK!
I summon A SWIRLY TORNADO PERSON!
Saitou: GAAAAAAASP!
Kenshin: AhahaHA, now you won't stand a chance! THE FATE OF THE WORLD RESTS
IN A CHIPMUNK'S HANDS, YUGI!
Saitou: I counter your Swirly Tornado Person's attack with POWERPUFF
ASSAULT! On Blossom! On Buttercup! On Bubbles! MERRY CHRISTMAS TO
ALLLLLLLL!!!!!!!
Kenshin: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Cards: *sudden disintegrate*
Kenshin: Aw, darn it! 0.o I mean...uh...Oro?
Saitou: It is a draw...*gets evil glint in his eyes* For now!
AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAA!!!!!!!
Yahiko: Someday soon, I hope that rabbit gets his Trix. Whether it be
yogurt or cereal, it doesn't matter. Just please, don't make him suffer
anymore! *sob*
Soujiro: GEEEEEEEEEEET YER CANDLES!
Kaoru: Cookies cookies cookies cookies cookies cooooooookies!!!!!
Sanosuke: *stands motionless for a moment, then shakes his fist.* GET OFFA
MAH LAWN, YOU CRAZY KIDS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Aoshi: MOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!
Saitou: I HATE YOU ALL! ...Except for you, gramma! *smiles pleasantly at
Kaoru, then growls evilly at everyone else and runs off.*
THE END.
__-________-__________-_________-________
A/N: Uh...Review? O_O;;;;
A/N: Hello! It's Taji! I know we said we were doing Sano and the Ape Ricots
next, but...we didn't! SO HA! I'm writing this chapter because...I did the
first chapter, Kohana did the second chapter, and I like patterns, so I'm
doing the third chapter. Sano and the Ape Ricots will be coming as soon as
Kohana and I can get together to write it.
TO THE STORY!
______________________________
Episode 3: Saitou Does Not Like Green Eggs and Ham
__________________________________________
Saitou Hajime walked along a fairly well trodden path to the dwelling of
Himura Kenshin – the Kamiya dojo.
Kenshin: *pops out of the dojo* Oro? *looks up at Saitou and narrows his
eyes* ...Saitou.
Saitou: *also narrows his eyes...more* Battousai.
Kenshin: Saitou.
Saitou: Battousai.
Kenshin: Saitou.
Saitou: Battousai.
Sanosuke: *shakes his fist at them while eating a bag of Doritos* GET OFFA
MAH LAWN YOU CRAZY KIDS!!!
Saitou: NEVERRRRR! Muahahahaha...Muahahahaha...MUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA---
*cough. hack. wheeze.*
Kaoru: GASP! *rushes over to Saitou* Oh, are you all right, dear? Let
grandma make you some nice fresh chocolate chip cookies, okay?
Saitou: *sniffs and wipes tears from his eyes* Th-th-thanks, gramma.
*sniff*
Kaoru: Oh, don't mention it, dear! *magically produces chocolate chip
cookies out of thin air*
Kenshin: Oroooo? *suddenly gets a glazed look, as if he was in a trance. Or
on drugs.* HITORI DE WA, TOOI ASHITA WO! YOAKE NO MAMA DE, KOESOU DE!
Yahiko: *runs out of the dojo and smashes a rock on Kenshin's head*
KENSHIN!!!! WHAT DID I TELL YOU ABOUT SINGING YOUR OWN THEME SONG?!?!
Kenshin: .... X_x
Yahiko: Uh...Kenshin? 0.0 Ken...shin...? *pokes Kenshin with a stick*
Kenshin: ... *twitches slightly* x_X
Saitou: *wipes the last of the cookie crumbs from his mouth.* Now where was
I?
Sanosuke: WEEEEEEEE'RE OFF TO SEE THE WIZARD, THE WONDERFUL WIZARD OF OZ!
Saitou: Ah, yes. ---HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAA! NEEEEVVVVVERRRRR!!!!!!!
Misao: *walks out of a tree* Not even in a train in the rain?
Saitou: No, I will not get off the lawn, not even in a train in the rain.
Misao: *stands on her tiptoes, rocking back and forth to the rhythm of her
words* Will you get off the lawn in a boat with a moat?
Saitou: No, I will not get off the lawn in a boat with a moat, or a train
in the rain.
Misao: Will you do it with a frog in a bog? Or a mole that you stole? Or in
the room with the vacuum? Or on a saddle, with a paddle?
Saitou: *appears to be getting frustrated* No! I will not get off the lawn
in a train in the rain, nor a boat with a moat, not with a frog in a bog,
or a mole that I stole, I will not do it in a room with a vacuum, and not
on a saddle with a paddle; I will not get off the lawn anywhere! I will
not, will not eat green eggs and ham!
Misao: -_-;;; Don't change the subject, you jerk! *runs away crying*
Aoshi: MOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!! *sits down and starts chewing the grass
contentedly*
Saitou: When did Shinomori get here?
Sanosuke: *gazes off into the distant wonderingly* Who knows, Saitou? Who
in this modern, fast-paced world knows? Who knows...?
Kaoru: *switches on the X-files theme music*
Yahiko: Kenshin?! Kenshin! Wake up! *starts crying* Keeennnshiiin!!!
Kenshin: X_____x
Yahiko: WHY, OH WHY?!
WWWWWWWWWWHHHHHHHHHHHYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY???????!!!!!!!!???????!!!!!!!!!!??????
?? AAAAAAARRRRRRRGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!
Everyone: O.O" *backs away slowly*
Yahiko: *grabs Dr. Genzai out of thin air* YOU! TELL ME WHY!!!!
Genzai: I got the blues, yeeeaaah!
Yahiko: GRRRRRRRRR!!!!!! *throws Genzai into the Dead Sea and laughs evilly
while an elephant wanders past and swallows Egypt.*
Saitou: *realizes he has run out of cigarettes.*
Sano: Run outta ciggys there, mister? I'll get you some!
Saitou: SHUT UP! I HATE YOU! *twitches and lights a stick on fire, then
puts it in his mouth* ...It's...It's...IT'S JUST NOT THE SAME!
WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!!!!!!!!
Soujiro: *walks by with Pea-san, holding a tray of candles* CANDLES! GET
YOUR CANDLES!
Aoshi: MOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! *eats Soujiro's hair*
Soujiro: ACK! That won't do at all! GET AWAY FROM ME, YOU STUPID COW!
*whacks Aoshi with a dead beaver and grows new hair*
Aoshi: @___@ Moooooooooooooo...Ow....Mooooooooooo...
Pea-san: I WANT TO STEAL YOUR PEAS!
Soujiro: Hai, now isn't that the truth? CANDLES! GET 'EM WHILE THEY'RE HOT!
Saitou: Battousai, I bring you greetings from Mars.
Kenshin: Cool.
Yahiko: Wha...? O.o I thought you were---B-but you were just---
Kenshin: Yes. A professional wild chicken tamer.
Kaoru: Pa wants his cupcakes, little Mary! Here you go! *hands cupcakes to
a random little kid*
Little Kid: But, miss, my name is Steven...And my Pa got killeded when that
ol' soda machine crashed down on him and squashed his brains. They didn't
taste as good when they were squashed...
Everyone: *turns around slowly to stare at him*
L.K.: *nervously* Not that I ate them or anything! Eh...heh...heh...No, I'm not
an evil alien trying to take over your puny planet of e-arth...YOU'RE SO
MEAN! *runs away*
Saitou: Ahem. Battousai, I suggest we finish our duel from the days of the
Revolution.
Kenshin: Hai, de gozaru yo.
Both: *suddenly whip out decks of cards from somewhere* IT'S TIME TO D-D-D-
D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-
D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-
D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-
DDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUEEEEEEEEEEEEELLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Kenshin: I SUMMON BLUE EYES WHITE DRAGON!
Saitou: AHA! NOW I SHALL SUMMON KURIBOH, THE WEAKEST FUZZBALL EVER AND
MAGICALLY DESTROY YOUR DRAGON BECAUSE I BELIEVE IN THE HEART OF THE
MEATLOAF!
Kenshin: The Heart of the Meatloaf will never defeat...THE HEART OF THE PORK!
I summon A SWIRLY TORNADO PERSON!
Saitou: GAAAAAAASP!
Kenshin: AhahaHA, now you won't stand a chance! THE FATE OF THE WORLD RESTS
IN A CHIPMUNK'S HANDS, YUGI!
Saitou: I counter your Swirly Tornado Person's attack with POWERPUFF
ASSAULT! On Blossom! On Buttercup! On Bubbles! MERRY CHRISTMAS TO
ALLLLLLLL!!!!!!!
Kenshin: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Cards: *sudden disintegrate*
Kenshin: Aw, darn it! 0.o I mean...uh...Oro?
Saitou: It is a draw...*gets evil glint in his eyes* For now!
AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAA!!!!!!!
Yahiko: Someday soon, I hope that rabbit gets his Trix. Whether it be
yogurt or cereal, it doesn't matter. Just please, don't make him suffer
anymore! *sob*
Soujiro: GEEEEEEEEEEET YER CANDLES!
Kaoru: Cookies cookies cookies cookies cookies cooooooookies!!!!!
Sanosuke: *stands motionless for a moment, then shakes his fist.* GET OFFA
MAH LAWN, YOU CRAZY KIDS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Aoshi: MOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!
Saitou: I HATE YOU ALL! ...Except for you, gramma! *smiles pleasantly at
Kaoru, then growls evilly at everyone else and runs off.*
THE END.
__-________-__________-_________-________
A/N: Uh...Review? O_O;;;;
