Chapter Sixteen
Magneto listened to the ghostly specter with growing impatience. The astral Kurt barely managed to get the message through before he vanished, the strain of keeping contact having exhausted both him and Rachel.
"I refuse to fall for this elaborate nonsense," Magneto snapped. "I won't let you destroy the pinnacle of my life's work!"
"We're not asking for your permission, mein Herr," Nightcrawler told him coldly. Then he looked around, suddenly noticing a rather glaring absence.
"Where is Wolverine?"
"The dude crashed through the wall with Sabertooth, like, half an hour ago, yo," Toad told him.
Kurt sighed and shook his head. "Ach, I should have guessed. But, Logan can handle himself. Right now, we must destroy that machine."
"No!" Magneto yelled holding out his arms to raise a heavy section of metal piping from the floor. It fell with a CRASH as Nightcrawler quickly wrapped his tail around Magneto's neck and squeezed threateningly.
"You won't kill me," Magneto rasped.
"The odds seem pretty good that you are right," Nightcrawler allowed, tightening his grip even further. "But even so, I wouldn't place any bets just yet."
"Even if you're right and my machine does alert the aliens," Magneto gasped, his pale face purpling, "who's to say that's not how the Earth was meant to end? Besides, with that machine I'll finally be able to create an organization of superior mutants to defend mutantkind against the violence and stupidity of humans! You would be a fool to destroy it now! Don't you see, I'm doing this for you! For all of you!"
Kurt snarled, his eyes narrowing to golden slits as he bared his fangs. With one final squeeze, he released Magneto, who collapsed to the floor, clutching at his neck and gasping for breath.
"You'll find out before the end that your hatred will never save mutantkind," Kurt growled darkly, his narrow features tight with painful memory. "Come on," he said, turning to the astounded teens, who were staring alternately at him, then at Magneto crumpled on the floor. "Let's go."
"Why should we listen to you, man?" Quicksilver sneered, though his nervous eyes betrayed his swaggering demeanor.
Evan stared at him. "Dude, didn't you hear what Kurt's astral projection ghost said?" he snapped. "If we don't wreck that hunk of junk, the Earth gets chewed up by a bunch of stinkin' aliens!"
"In what, five hundred years?" Lance said. "Why should we care? It's not going to affect us!"
Kurt set his jaw. "It is precisely that selfish attitude that has allowed the greatest monsters in history to come to power." He folded his arms across his chest, turning a significant glare on Magneto, who had survived Hitler's death camps as a child.
"Once you put yourself above others, once you claim superiority over your fellow man, it is easy to see people as nothing more than objects or numbers or even animals. It's easy to lose sight of their faces, isn't it, Magneto."
Magneto glared at him from the floor through cold, outraged eyes. "How dare you," he hissed, a hand still clutched to his bruised throat. Nightcrawler bristled.
"No, mein Herr, how dare you! You are gifted with a glimpse of the future, you learn that it is your machine that causes the deaths of billions of people, yet instead of acknowledging your guilt and helping us, all you can do is stand there and try to justify yourself. You are far from superior, Magneto. You may have a brilliant mind and extraordinary powers, but you barely scrape average as a human being."
Turning from him with a disgusted sneer, Nightcrawler looked to Jean. "Can you hold him?" he asked her.
"Yes, I think so," she said, "but not for very long. You'll have to hurry."
"No problem," Scott assured her. "Come on, guys! We've got a world to save!"
As the X-Men rushed across the enormous cave, the Brotherhood stayed behind, just watching as Jean created a telekinetic bubble to hold Magneto prisoner.
"So, what do we do now?" Fred asked.
"Yeah," Toad said. "I mean, do we believe what freakboy's ghost said or what?"
Quicksilver shook his head. "Man, this is way outta my league. I mean, if that ghost thing was right, I for one don't want anything to do with that machine. I don't know about you guys, but if I knew I'd had anything to do with the deaths of billions of people, I wouldn't be able to sleep nights, you know?"
"This isn't our problem," Lance told them with an air of finality. "It's between Magneto and the X-Freaks. Magneto only built that machine in the first place because he didn't think we were good enough for him. So I say, forget him."
"Hey, I'm with you, yo," Toad agreed. "Let's get outta here!"
Trapped in Jean's telekinetic field, Magneto could only scowl as he watched the Brotherhood turn on their heels and slink away.
*******
A small, white mouse lifted its tiny head and pricked up its delicate, pink ears at the sound of human voices high above and far away. Its shockingly blue eyes were strangely alert, and, oddly, it seemed to chuckle as it watched a slender, blue man wrap his tail around the throat of a taller, white-haired man. The moment the man was released, causing the ground below the mouse's tiny paws to tremble slightly as he collapsed to the floor, the sleek rodent scampered to the far end of the room, keeping tight against the wall until it spotted what it was looking for. It managed to climb into the bulky, complicated control panel with only a few false starts, scrabbling against the smooth metal of its exterior plating. Quickly and deliberately, the tiny mouse gnawed at a collection of colorful wires, spitting out the plastic coating with obvious distaste. When it had finished its precise work in that area, it quickly turned and scampered over to a new section, where it repeated the same process.
By the time the X-Men arrived, Magneto's marvelous machine was no longer any more dangerous than a large, metal sculpture. But, since the X-Men didn't know that, they used their unique powers to blow it up anyway.
*******
Lance and Quicksilver were struggling to hot-wire one of Magneto's jets. While they argued, Toad kept watch, crouched on the nose of the small plane and lazily scanning the room for any sign of insect life. He wasn't expecting anyone to walk in on them, which was why he nearly fell to the ground when Mystique strode purposefully into the room.
"Hey, Boss Lady!" Toad called out, once he'd recovered his balance. "What are you doing here, yo?"
"Leaving."
"Ah. I thought so." Moving quickly to head her off, Toad leapt to the ground before her feet.
"Look," he said, "before you go, do you think you could sorta give us a ride back to Bayville?"
"No."
Toad nodded quickly. "OK, OK, that's fine with me, yo. I was just thinkin' that since you're probably headed that way too--"
"I'm not going back to Bayville," Mystique snapped, pushing past the Toad and heading for the jet she had arrived in. "Not yet. I no longer owe Magneto anything. From this point on, I'm working for myself. No more Principal Darkholme, no more Brotherhood, no more Erik Lehnsherr. If he wants my help, he'll have to approach me on my terms, not his."
"That's cool, yo. I can dig that."
"Good. Then leave me alone."
"Uh, yeah," Toad said, looking back at the jet where Lance and Pietro were now involved in a fist fight while Fred struggled to separate them. "Um, I would, really, yo, but it's kinda like we're stranded here unless we get some help. And I don't really see the X-Freaks dropping in to offer us a ride, you know?"
Mystique glared at him, her yellow eyes cold. Toad cringed, but attempted a green-toothed smile.
"Come on, just this once? For old time's sake and stuff?"
Mystique rolled her eyes. "I have some things I need to pick up at the boarding house before I leave," she said regally. "Gather up those other goons and climb aboard before I've finished the flight check. If you can't, I'm leaving without you."
Toad grinned and hopped off to tell the others. Mystique watched him, her lip curled in disgust. "There's a stench I certainly won't miss," she muttered as she climbed into the pilot's seat.
*******
The X-Men returned from the smoking pile of metal that was once Magneto's prized invention to find Jean lying unconscious on the floor. Magneto himself was nowhere to be seen.
"Jean!" Scott cried, rushing to kneel at her side. Nightcrawler wasn't far behind him. "What happened?"
Jean moaned and rubbed her temples. "Uggh," she grunted, carefully moving to sit up. Scott supported her elbow with a strong hand.
"He started struggling and I couldn't hold him," Jean said. "I'm sorry guys."
"No, you did very well," Nightcrawler assured her. "You kept him distracted long enough for us to destroy the machine. It was almost a given that he would find a way to escape."
"Yeah," said Rogue, a hint of bitterness coloring her accented voice. "It seems guys like him always manage to get away in the end, don't they?"
"Not this time."
The startled X-Men turned as one at the sound of the crisp, prim voice that had spoken. Their eyes widened when they saw two men approaching from the corridor. The taller man was long and lean with huge glasses, a beak-like nose, and a tiny dot of a mustache. He carried a briefcase and an umbrella and was dressed in a black suit with pinstriped trousers and a bowler hat. The shorter man seemed significantly younger. His wild, orange hair was pulled back from his face by a red headband sporting constantly changing phrases that mirrored his thoughts. He was dressed in a grungy, over-large, dun colored tank top. His baggy trousers were weighted down with so many tools that it was a mystery how they managed to stay up. His chin was unshaven and large, blue shades covered his eyes.
"Who are you?" Scott asked, his eyes wide behind his visor.
"I," the taller man announced grandly, "am Horatio Cringebottom."
Evan and Kitty had to slap a hand to their mouths to keep from snickering. Nightcrawler shot them a look and they struggled to sober themselves as Mr. Cringebottom continued, seemingly oblivious to their reactions.
"This is my associate, Bert." He gestured in an off-hand manner to the shorter man.
"Hio!" Bert grinned, giving them a cheery thumbs-up with one gloved hand.
"Hi," the teens waved back.
"We are from the Ministry for Cross-time Transport Regulation, Monitor, and Control, Sanction Implementation Department. Our operating charter was authorized by Majestrix Opal Luna Saturnyne, by decree of the Supreme Omniversal Guardian Roma, daughter of Merlyn, Soverign of Otherworld."*
"Wow," Evan said. The others nodded, echoing his sentiments.
"What are you doing here?" Scott asked curiously.
"I am surprised you feel the need to ask that question, boy, considering the fully unauthorized presence in this time of the man who is standing right next to you," Horatio Cringebottom said primly, peering down at Nightcrawler over his long nose.
Nightcrawler narrowed his eyes. "I assure you, mein Herr, I did not come here on purpose. I want nothing more than to be returned to my own time."
"I know that," Cringebottom drawled. "The parties responsible have already been taken into custody."
"You mean Magneto?" Rogue asked.
"And Kylun and Widget, yes," Horatio nodded. "We have also contained one Logan a.k.a. Wolverine and one Creed, Victor a.k.a. Sabertooth. We had some trouble prying their claws out of each other, I can tell you." He shuddered with distaste. "Barbarians, the both of them. Disgraceful behavior."
Then he clapped his hands in a business-like manner. "Now, for your own protection, I must insist that you all come with me."
"Where are we going?" Scott asked him.
Cringebottom shook his head with a disapproving look. "Honestly, boy, you do ask the most obvious questions. I'm taking you to Otherworld, of course. All the holes that have been poked into this timeline--not to mention the as yet uncounted changes made through unauthorized interaction with one Wagner, Kurt a.k.a. Nightcrawler, age 47--have created a temporal anomaly the likes of which has only previously been encountered on Earth 1701!"
"Earth 1701?" Nightcrawler repeated. "Are you referring to an alternate reality?"
Cringebottom sighed. "Oh, right. This Earth knows nothing of the multiverse as of yet. But never mind. If you don't want to be trapped in the aftereffects of a violent time-storm as this timeline rearranges itself, you had all better come with me at once."
"Like, isn't Bert coming?" Kitty asked when she noticed the scruffy man wasn't following them as they rushed to keep up with Horatio's loping strides.
"My dear girl," Cringebottom said in a condescending tone, "how could Bert possibly repair the damage done to this timeline if he doesn't remain behind?" He shook his head, astonished by her dullness. "Honestly."
Kitty scowled in annoyance at his tone and dropped back to walk beside Nightcrawler, who patted her shoulder kindly. "To tell you the truth," he said conspiratorially, "I was about to ask the same thing." Kitty favored him with a small smile.
The group came to an abrupt stop as Horatio Cringebottom led them straight into a dead end. Before anyone could comment, however, the lanky man whipped out his umbrella and pressed a button on its carved handle. A beam of light shot from the metal tip and opened at once into a rounded portal.
"Right this way," he told them, stepping through the portal as though it were just a mundane doorway--and perhaps for him it was. "Step lively, please."
Looking at each other with bemused smiles and 'what the hey' shrugs, the X- Men crossed the threshold to enter strange, beautiful dimension known as Otherworld.
*Paraphrased from Excalibur: 'A Hatch is Plotted', Issue 42.
Magneto listened to the ghostly specter with growing impatience. The astral Kurt barely managed to get the message through before he vanished, the strain of keeping contact having exhausted both him and Rachel.
"I refuse to fall for this elaborate nonsense," Magneto snapped. "I won't let you destroy the pinnacle of my life's work!"
"We're not asking for your permission, mein Herr," Nightcrawler told him coldly. Then he looked around, suddenly noticing a rather glaring absence.
"Where is Wolverine?"
"The dude crashed through the wall with Sabertooth, like, half an hour ago, yo," Toad told him.
Kurt sighed and shook his head. "Ach, I should have guessed. But, Logan can handle himself. Right now, we must destroy that machine."
"No!" Magneto yelled holding out his arms to raise a heavy section of metal piping from the floor. It fell with a CRASH as Nightcrawler quickly wrapped his tail around Magneto's neck and squeezed threateningly.
"You won't kill me," Magneto rasped.
"The odds seem pretty good that you are right," Nightcrawler allowed, tightening his grip even further. "But even so, I wouldn't place any bets just yet."
"Even if you're right and my machine does alert the aliens," Magneto gasped, his pale face purpling, "who's to say that's not how the Earth was meant to end? Besides, with that machine I'll finally be able to create an organization of superior mutants to defend mutantkind against the violence and stupidity of humans! You would be a fool to destroy it now! Don't you see, I'm doing this for you! For all of you!"
Kurt snarled, his eyes narrowing to golden slits as he bared his fangs. With one final squeeze, he released Magneto, who collapsed to the floor, clutching at his neck and gasping for breath.
"You'll find out before the end that your hatred will never save mutantkind," Kurt growled darkly, his narrow features tight with painful memory. "Come on," he said, turning to the astounded teens, who were staring alternately at him, then at Magneto crumpled on the floor. "Let's go."
"Why should we listen to you, man?" Quicksilver sneered, though his nervous eyes betrayed his swaggering demeanor.
Evan stared at him. "Dude, didn't you hear what Kurt's astral projection ghost said?" he snapped. "If we don't wreck that hunk of junk, the Earth gets chewed up by a bunch of stinkin' aliens!"
"In what, five hundred years?" Lance said. "Why should we care? It's not going to affect us!"
Kurt set his jaw. "It is precisely that selfish attitude that has allowed the greatest monsters in history to come to power." He folded his arms across his chest, turning a significant glare on Magneto, who had survived Hitler's death camps as a child.
"Once you put yourself above others, once you claim superiority over your fellow man, it is easy to see people as nothing more than objects or numbers or even animals. It's easy to lose sight of their faces, isn't it, Magneto."
Magneto glared at him from the floor through cold, outraged eyes. "How dare you," he hissed, a hand still clutched to his bruised throat. Nightcrawler bristled.
"No, mein Herr, how dare you! You are gifted with a glimpse of the future, you learn that it is your machine that causes the deaths of billions of people, yet instead of acknowledging your guilt and helping us, all you can do is stand there and try to justify yourself. You are far from superior, Magneto. You may have a brilliant mind and extraordinary powers, but you barely scrape average as a human being."
Turning from him with a disgusted sneer, Nightcrawler looked to Jean. "Can you hold him?" he asked her.
"Yes, I think so," she said, "but not for very long. You'll have to hurry."
"No problem," Scott assured her. "Come on, guys! We've got a world to save!"
As the X-Men rushed across the enormous cave, the Brotherhood stayed behind, just watching as Jean created a telekinetic bubble to hold Magneto prisoner.
"So, what do we do now?" Fred asked.
"Yeah," Toad said. "I mean, do we believe what freakboy's ghost said or what?"
Quicksilver shook his head. "Man, this is way outta my league. I mean, if that ghost thing was right, I for one don't want anything to do with that machine. I don't know about you guys, but if I knew I'd had anything to do with the deaths of billions of people, I wouldn't be able to sleep nights, you know?"
"This isn't our problem," Lance told them with an air of finality. "It's between Magneto and the X-Freaks. Magneto only built that machine in the first place because he didn't think we were good enough for him. So I say, forget him."
"Hey, I'm with you, yo," Toad agreed. "Let's get outta here!"
Trapped in Jean's telekinetic field, Magneto could only scowl as he watched the Brotherhood turn on their heels and slink away.
*******
A small, white mouse lifted its tiny head and pricked up its delicate, pink ears at the sound of human voices high above and far away. Its shockingly blue eyes were strangely alert, and, oddly, it seemed to chuckle as it watched a slender, blue man wrap his tail around the throat of a taller, white-haired man. The moment the man was released, causing the ground below the mouse's tiny paws to tremble slightly as he collapsed to the floor, the sleek rodent scampered to the far end of the room, keeping tight against the wall until it spotted what it was looking for. It managed to climb into the bulky, complicated control panel with only a few false starts, scrabbling against the smooth metal of its exterior plating. Quickly and deliberately, the tiny mouse gnawed at a collection of colorful wires, spitting out the plastic coating with obvious distaste. When it had finished its precise work in that area, it quickly turned and scampered over to a new section, where it repeated the same process.
By the time the X-Men arrived, Magneto's marvelous machine was no longer any more dangerous than a large, metal sculpture. But, since the X-Men didn't know that, they used their unique powers to blow it up anyway.
*******
Lance and Quicksilver were struggling to hot-wire one of Magneto's jets. While they argued, Toad kept watch, crouched on the nose of the small plane and lazily scanning the room for any sign of insect life. He wasn't expecting anyone to walk in on them, which was why he nearly fell to the ground when Mystique strode purposefully into the room.
"Hey, Boss Lady!" Toad called out, once he'd recovered his balance. "What are you doing here, yo?"
"Leaving."
"Ah. I thought so." Moving quickly to head her off, Toad leapt to the ground before her feet.
"Look," he said, "before you go, do you think you could sorta give us a ride back to Bayville?"
"No."
Toad nodded quickly. "OK, OK, that's fine with me, yo. I was just thinkin' that since you're probably headed that way too--"
"I'm not going back to Bayville," Mystique snapped, pushing past the Toad and heading for the jet she had arrived in. "Not yet. I no longer owe Magneto anything. From this point on, I'm working for myself. No more Principal Darkholme, no more Brotherhood, no more Erik Lehnsherr. If he wants my help, he'll have to approach me on my terms, not his."
"That's cool, yo. I can dig that."
"Good. Then leave me alone."
"Uh, yeah," Toad said, looking back at the jet where Lance and Pietro were now involved in a fist fight while Fred struggled to separate them. "Um, I would, really, yo, but it's kinda like we're stranded here unless we get some help. And I don't really see the X-Freaks dropping in to offer us a ride, you know?"
Mystique glared at him, her yellow eyes cold. Toad cringed, but attempted a green-toothed smile.
"Come on, just this once? For old time's sake and stuff?"
Mystique rolled her eyes. "I have some things I need to pick up at the boarding house before I leave," she said regally. "Gather up those other goons and climb aboard before I've finished the flight check. If you can't, I'm leaving without you."
Toad grinned and hopped off to tell the others. Mystique watched him, her lip curled in disgust. "There's a stench I certainly won't miss," she muttered as she climbed into the pilot's seat.
*******
The X-Men returned from the smoking pile of metal that was once Magneto's prized invention to find Jean lying unconscious on the floor. Magneto himself was nowhere to be seen.
"Jean!" Scott cried, rushing to kneel at her side. Nightcrawler wasn't far behind him. "What happened?"
Jean moaned and rubbed her temples. "Uggh," she grunted, carefully moving to sit up. Scott supported her elbow with a strong hand.
"He started struggling and I couldn't hold him," Jean said. "I'm sorry guys."
"No, you did very well," Nightcrawler assured her. "You kept him distracted long enough for us to destroy the machine. It was almost a given that he would find a way to escape."
"Yeah," said Rogue, a hint of bitterness coloring her accented voice. "It seems guys like him always manage to get away in the end, don't they?"
"Not this time."
The startled X-Men turned as one at the sound of the crisp, prim voice that had spoken. Their eyes widened when they saw two men approaching from the corridor. The taller man was long and lean with huge glasses, a beak-like nose, and a tiny dot of a mustache. He carried a briefcase and an umbrella and was dressed in a black suit with pinstriped trousers and a bowler hat. The shorter man seemed significantly younger. His wild, orange hair was pulled back from his face by a red headband sporting constantly changing phrases that mirrored his thoughts. He was dressed in a grungy, over-large, dun colored tank top. His baggy trousers were weighted down with so many tools that it was a mystery how they managed to stay up. His chin was unshaven and large, blue shades covered his eyes.
"Who are you?" Scott asked, his eyes wide behind his visor.
"I," the taller man announced grandly, "am Horatio Cringebottom."
Evan and Kitty had to slap a hand to their mouths to keep from snickering. Nightcrawler shot them a look and they struggled to sober themselves as Mr. Cringebottom continued, seemingly oblivious to their reactions.
"This is my associate, Bert." He gestured in an off-hand manner to the shorter man.
"Hio!" Bert grinned, giving them a cheery thumbs-up with one gloved hand.
"Hi," the teens waved back.
"We are from the Ministry for Cross-time Transport Regulation, Monitor, and Control, Sanction Implementation Department. Our operating charter was authorized by Majestrix Opal Luna Saturnyne, by decree of the Supreme Omniversal Guardian Roma, daughter of Merlyn, Soverign of Otherworld."*
"Wow," Evan said. The others nodded, echoing his sentiments.
"What are you doing here?" Scott asked curiously.
"I am surprised you feel the need to ask that question, boy, considering the fully unauthorized presence in this time of the man who is standing right next to you," Horatio Cringebottom said primly, peering down at Nightcrawler over his long nose.
Nightcrawler narrowed his eyes. "I assure you, mein Herr, I did not come here on purpose. I want nothing more than to be returned to my own time."
"I know that," Cringebottom drawled. "The parties responsible have already been taken into custody."
"You mean Magneto?" Rogue asked.
"And Kylun and Widget, yes," Horatio nodded. "We have also contained one Logan a.k.a. Wolverine and one Creed, Victor a.k.a. Sabertooth. We had some trouble prying their claws out of each other, I can tell you." He shuddered with distaste. "Barbarians, the both of them. Disgraceful behavior."
Then he clapped his hands in a business-like manner. "Now, for your own protection, I must insist that you all come with me."
"Where are we going?" Scott asked him.
Cringebottom shook his head with a disapproving look. "Honestly, boy, you do ask the most obvious questions. I'm taking you to Otherworld, of course. All the holes that have been poked into this timeline--not to mention the as yet uncounted changes made through unauthorized interaction with one Wagner, Kurt a.k.a. Nightcrawler, age 47--have created a temporal anomaly the likes of which has only previously been encountered on Earth 1701!"
"Earth 1701?" Nightcrawler repeated. "Are you referring to an alternate reality?"
Cringebottom sighed. "Oh, right. This Earth knows nothing of the multiverse as of yet. But never mind. If you don't want to be trapped in the aftereffects of a violent time-storm as this timeline rearranges itself, you had all better come with me at once."
"Like, isn't Bert coming?" Kitty asked when she noticed the scruffy man wasn't following them as they rushed to keep up with Horatio's loping strides.
"My dear girl," Cringebottom said in a condescending tone, "how could Bert possibly repair the damage done to this timeline if he doesn't remain behind?" He shook his head, astonished by her dullness. "Honestly."
Kitty scowled in annoyance at his tone and dropped back to walk beside Nightcrawler, who patted her shoulder kindly. "To tell you the truth," he said conspiratorially, "I was about to ask the same thing." Kitty favored him with a small smile.
The group came to an abrupt stop as Horatio Cringebottom led them straight into a dead end. Before anyone could comment, however, the lanky man whipped out his umbrella and pressed a button on its carved handle. A beam of light shot from the metal tip and opened at once into a rounded portal.
"Right this way," he told them, stepping through the portal as though it were just a mundane doorway--and perhaps for him it was. "Step lively, please."
Looking at each other with bemused smiles and 'what the hey' shrugs, the X- Men crossed the threshold to enter strange, beautiful dimension known as Otherworld.
*Paraphrased from Excalibur: 'A Hatch is Plotted', Issue 42.
