"How's she settled in?" Harm asked.
"Ok, she's happy to be home." Mac answered. "The kids are happy to have her home as well."
"How's her hand?"
"Getting better. The doctors are sure she'll have the full movement of her fingers back in no time."
"He knew exactly what to do to hurt her. By breaking her fingers she can't operate her radio, that radio is her life, her job."
"Next to her family that jobs the most important thing in her life." Mac nodded.
"But she's going to be all right." Harm said. Mac nodded. "You wanna order a pizza or something tonight? Catch a movie?"
"I'd love to," Mac said.
"But," Harm prompted.
"I'm busy." She said. "Hey, we could still have pizza. I'm baby-sitting Joey's kids. She and Josh are having a night to themselves. You could keep me company."
"Three kids isn't enough company for you?" He smiled.
"You know what I mean."
"Yeh." Harm nodded. "Sounds fine, what time?"
"Oh, um, about seven?"
"Great, I'll see you then. Now though, I have to be in court." He said and turned around. That night Harm arrived at Mac's apartment and knocked on the door. She opened the door and looked up at him. Ben was sitting on her hip.
"You're late." She smiled.
"By what?"
"Two and a half minutes Squid." She said turning around and walking towards the kitchen. Harm closed and locked the door behind him. "Pizza's here guys." Mac called. Hailey and Ryan hurried into the room. Harm put the pizza's down on the counter. "Hold that." Mac said handing Ben to him. He took the baby and watched Mac as she sat Hailey and Ryan at the table and gave them each a piece of pizza. She put two more plates down and put the boxes on the table.
After dinner the three kids had a bath and watched The Lion King. Hailey sat patiently while Mac brushed her hair Harm watched Mac carefully. Ben was sound asleep on Mac's bed by this stage. By the end of the movie, Ryan and Hailey were asleep as well. Mac carried Ryan and Harm took Hailey. Both kids slept soundly in the spare bed in Mac's apartment.
"Do you think you'll ever have kids of your own?" Harm asked as he helped Mac wash up and pack the dishes away.
"One day." Mac said. "I guess."
"You guess?" Harm smiled.
"What about you?"
"Yeh, sure." He nodded. Mac turned around quickly when she heard Ben start crying. She put down the tea towel in her hands and hurried into the bedroom. Harm followed.
"Hey," Mac said hugging the baby close. "It's ok, shh, don't cry. Did you have a bad dream?" She asked. "Hey, was it a bad dream."
"Mommy," He whimpered.
"Shh, mommy's not here. I'm here, hey, Sarah's here."
"Sarah." He said and buried his head in Mac's chest. She rocked him gently. Harm left the room and turned off all the lights. He checked the lock on the door and headed back towards the bedroom. He stopped and checked on Ryan and Hailey.
Mac had walked out of her bedroom and saw harm as he silently walked into the room and pulled the covers up on Hailey and Ryan. Ryan stirred. Harm smiled reassuringly at the boy and brushed his hair gently. "It's ok," He whispered. Ryan closed his eyes and went back to sleep.
Mac took Ben back into her bedroom before Harm saw her. He walked in a few minutes later. "It's late Harm," She said softly. "Maybe you should stay the night."
"I was about to ask you if I could. I'll just grab a pillow and make myself comfortable on the couch." He said and turned around.
"Harm." Mac called. He turned back to her. "Thanks for tonight."
"Anytime." He smiled and walked out of the room. Mac woke later that night. She reached out to check on Ben who was sleeping in the bed beside her. He was gone. Mac sat up quickly and checked the bed and the floor beside it. She hurried out and checked Hailey and Ryan. They were still sound asleep.
"Harm." She called in an urgent whisper hurrying out to the couch. "Harm Ben's," She stopped so quickly she almost fell backwards. She swallowed hard and tried to calm her breathing and heart rate.
She suddenly felt like crying. She sat down on one of the armchairs. Harm was lying on his back covered by a thick blanket. Sound asleep on his chest was Ben. Harm woke and found Mac looking at him.
"Hey," He said softly. "What's the matter."
"I woke up and he was gone."
"He crawled out here a few hours ago, I was going to wait until he fell asleep and take him back to you, but I guess I fell asleep myself. Sorry,"
"No, don't be. It's ok. I just got a fright when he was gone."
"You wanna take him back. I don't want to roll over or anything."
"He'll only find his way back out here." Mac said. "Joey said he might do this. She said if he's done it once, he'll keep doing it. He usually seeks out Hailey, I guess you were a better target."
"I guess so."
"Why don't you come and sleep with him in the bed. I'll take the couch."
"I'm not going to kick you out of your bed Mac."
"It's all right, really."
"I'll go," he said. "But you're coming too." He held Ben against his chest and sat up. He stood up and walked slowly towards the bedroom. Mac turned and looked at him. "We're friends Mac." He said walking back to her. "We've slept in more controversial ways and places."
"I know."
"You think I'm going to walk around JAG headquarters on Monday and tell everyone that you and I slept together?" He asked. She smiled and shook her head. "What's the problem?"
"l," She stopped. "Nothing." She sighed and stood up. They walked into the bedroom. They lay with Ben between them. They woke the next morning as close together as the baby would allow. Mac's hand rested gently on Ben's stomach. Harm's hand rested on top of Mac's. Harm watched Mac for a few minutes before she woke up.
"Morning." He smiled and squeezed her hand.
"Morning." She said and sat up. Harm looked around.
"Damn you Mac, what's the bloody time?" He asked also sitting. Mac smiled.
"It's 0814." She said.
"Thank you." He got out of bed and headed down to the lounge room. He pulled his jeans on over his boxers. Hailey and Ryan were watching cartoons. "Hey," he said sitting down on the couch. "Roadrunner, this is one of my favourites." He said. Ryan smiled.
"You're like my Mommy," Ryan said. "You're in the Navy."
"That's right." Harm nodded. "I am. You're Mommy's got a higher rank than me though. She's give me orders." Harm said. Ryan smiled.
"Hailey's Daddy's in the Navy too." Ryan said. Hailey turned around and nodded.
"No he's not, he's a marine like Sarah." She said.
"Oh," Ryan said. "My daddy's a fireman. He lets me help him clean the fire engine."
"Aren't you lucky." Harm smiled. Ryan moved across the couch and knelt on Harm's lap.
"Do you like baseball?" He asked.
"Sure," Harm nodded.
"Me too," Ryan smiled.
"Oh yeh, you ticklish?" Harm asked. Ryan giggled and shook his head. "Not even a little bit?" Harm asked. Ryan shook his head again. "Not here?" He asked tickling the little boy under the arms. Ryan giggled again. Harm continued to tickle Ryan. Mac came out of the bedroom with Ben.
Hailey had started to tickle Harm. While she and Ryan tried to tickle him, Harm tickled both of them. Mac made up a nine-ounce bottle of formula for Ben while she got cereal for Ryan and Hailey.
"Hey," Mac called Ryan and Hailey looked up at her. "Breakfast."
"Ok," the both called. Harm said something quietly to them. They nodded. They walked over to the table and sat down. Harm looked down when he saw Ben crawling across the carpet. The baby pulled himself up beside Harm's legs. His bottle was hanging from his mouth.
Harm picked Ben up and sat him down on the couch beside him. Ben watched cartoons for a few minutes before pulling himself up onto Harm's lap. Harm smiled and helped Ben get comfortable. Ben looked up at Harm. Harm crossed his eyes and stuck out his tongue. Ben smiled.
"Benjie?" Mac said turning around. "Ben?" She cursed under her breath.
"He's here Mac," Harm called. She looked over just as Ben reached up and grabbed Harm's nose. Harm pretended to bite Ben's hand. Ben giggled and let go. He reached up and touched Harm's nose again. "It's a nose. It's a big ugly nose. Where's your nose? Where is it?" Harm asked. Mac walked over and sat down beside Harm.
"I think he likes you." She said. Harm smiled and looked across at her. Ben reached up and touched Harm's ear.
"Now you've found an ear." He said turning back to the baby. "Where's the other one? Where's my other ear." Ben let go of the bottle he'd been holding and reached up to touch Harm's other ear. "Good boy, there it is."
"Drink up your milk Benjie." Mac said. Ben picked up the bottle again and started to drink.
"Where's Mac's ears?" Harm asked.
"Sarah," Mac said. Harm looked up at her confused. "You remember my first name?" She asked. Harm smiled. "They call me Sarah."
"Ok," Harm nodded. "When's Joey coming to get the kids?"
"About eleven." Mac said.
"You want me to be gone by then?" He asked. Mac looked up at him.
"Why would I?"
"You seem awfully worried about what people are going to think Mac. I understand, really, I mean thinking about it now, if I was looking at this from an outside perspective, I'd probably think the same thing. I guess I just forget because I know what kind of relationship we have. I see it for what it is, but I understand what it can be mistaken for."
"Oh Harm." Mac said shaking her head.
"Just because I get it doesn't mean I'm going to change the way I do things with you. It doesn't mean I'm going to stop coming over, or stop going to lunch with you, or stop touching you. It just means I understand. But if you ask me to, I'll stop."
"I wouldn't." Mac said. She shook her head and smiled. "I couldn't Harm, because I enjoy it all too much. I don't trust myself around you."
"Don't tell me the great Sarah Mackenzie doubts her own willpower and self control." Harm joked.
"I'm serious." Mac said. "I don't, I realised that last night nothing would happen. It couldn't because of Benjie, because of the other two. But any other time I push you away, it's only because I'm afraid of what I might do if you stay close."
"I'd never let you do anything you'll regret."
"I'm not so sure that I would. Regret it I mean."
"But you don't know that do you, and until you're one hundred percent certain, I can't. Because I never want to hurt you Mac. Never."
"I know," She nodded. For the rest of the morning, Harm, Mac, Ben, Hailey and Ryan played together. Harm had talked Ryan and Hailey into tickling Mac. She giggled and returned the attack full force. Joey arrived and collected the kids.
"Thank you so much." She said.
"It's no problem."
"Anyway, we have to keep going. I'll call you later."
"Ok," Mac nodded and walked back into the apartment. Harm was straightening the couch cushions. "Thanks," She smiled.
"No problem." He said and sat down on the straightened couch.
"Do you want to grab an early lunch?" She asked.
"Sure," He nodded and stood up. They left the apartment and headed for a small café. They sat down and ordered coffee and sandwiches. They talked about nothing while they ate and stayed into the late afternoon. Harm and Mac had walked to the café and the walked slowly along the footpath still talking.
"Coffee?" Mac asked as she unlocked her door. Harm nodded. He followed her into the kitchen and stood quietly in the doorway while she made the coffee. She turned around and ran straight into his chest. "Harm," She said smiling. "You big oaf." She said thumping his arm.
"Ow," He said and recoiled. He smiled and rubbed his arms. Mac pouted.
"Poor sailor." She smiled. He grabbed her around the waist, pinning her arms to her side, and picked her up. "Hey, put me down." She said kicking her legs in front of her. "Harm, put me down."
"No," He said shaking his head. "I don't think I will." He said. She managed to swing her legs up in front of her and rest them on the bench. She pushed backwards. Harm stumbled backwards and lost his balance. He landed with a thud on his back. He winded himself and let go of Mac. She rolled over and sat beside him.
"I'm sorry," He said touching his arm gently. "Are you all right? I didn't mean it. I didn't mean to knock you down." She said.
"I'm ok." He said breathlessly. "Just a little winded." He coughed and took a deep breath. "You're just a big bully." He said sitting up and rubbing his chest.
"Are you sure your ok? I mean I landed right on top of you."
"You don't weight that much Mac." He said standing up. He held his hands down to her. She took them and he pulled her up. "I guess I won't try that again." He smiled. She still looked guilty. "Hey," He said. "Don't worry about it." He said putting one arm around her shoulders. She picked up both mugs of coffee and they walked out to sit on the couch.
They sat in silence. Mac looked across at Harm every so often. "Would you quit it?" He said looking across at her.
"What?"
"Quit looking at me like that."
"Like what?"
"Like you just ran over my dog or something. I'm fine."
"Ok," She said and looked straight ahead. He sighed.
"I should go." He said.
"Why?" She asked looking across at him. "I mean, well you can if you want."
"You want me to stay?" He asked.
"I don't care." She said. Harm smiled. "What?"
"Nothing, you're just, I don't even know how to describe it."
"Describe what?"
"You, the way you are to me."
"Annoying."
"Well, yeh, that and something else. Not cute, innocent maybe, I don't know."
"Why is it funny."
"I don't know." He said. "I don't know," He shook his head.
"You know you said you never wanted to hurt me." She said. He nodded. "Have you ever considered that you are? Without even realising it."
"How?" He asked suddenly.
"By," She paused. "By denying how," she stopped again. "How I feel about you, how you feel about me."
"Oh Mac."
"I'm serious. Have you ever thought that perhaps by not doing anything you're hurting me more, you're denying me the one thing I really want?"
"Which is what?" He asked. She looked down at the carpet for a minute. When she looked back up at him there were tears forming in her eyes.
"You," She said simply. Harm looked stunned for a minute then smiled. He reached across to cup her face in one of his hands.
"Oh Marine." He said softly. He pulled her closer for a hug. "I could never deny my Ninja Girl the one thing she really wants." He whispered to the top of her head. He kissed her hair softly. She turned her face up to him. He pressed his lips gently to hers and they kissed. A kiss that spoke volumes. It told of the love, the passion and the trust they had in each other. It was a kiss worth a thousand words.
