A/N: This...is me. ^_________________________^
You know why?
....
BECAUSE YOU REVIEWED!!
*happiness* :)
Disclaimer: LOTR is not mine. *sadness* :(
~*~*~*~*~*The Cave*~*~*~*~*
It seemed he had been running for hours. Well, it had only been a couple of minutes since the fangirls had caught onto his trail, but he was tired, cold, and extremely frightened. ...and hungry. That bastard Sam stole his marshmellows on one of his previous "vacations" and he missed them dearly. So, so very dearly.
...anyway. O.o Legolas began slowing down as his muscles weakened. Yes, he had trained for this day for centuries...seeing as he had nothing better to do than prepare himself for the attack of rabid fangirls...but the sad truth was he couldn't do anything without his daily dose of marshmellow. It was an addiction. *twitch* HE NEEDED THEEMMMM!!
...erm... *runs away*
Legolas: O.O *blink* "Well..."
Bwa haha! I'm back! And I bring you gifts!
Legolas: "What could you possibly give me right now that would help my situation?"
^^ A marshmellow! *hands*
Legolas: *stare* Do I even wanna know?
...possibly.
Legolas: "I'll take that as a no." *eats*
^^ Yay! Now that should be just enough to get you to that cave over there! *points to creepy-looking cave in the distance*
Legolas: *raises an eyebrow* In this storm?
^^ Yep!
Legolas: ...couldn't you have made me a more, uh... *glances over at cave* ...comfortable shelter?
Oh, that's no fun silly! ^^ Have fun! *returns to authoress position*
The elf sighs and runs into the rain. Clouds drift overhead and block out the moon.
Legolas stops and looks up. "What the fu-"
A lightning bolt strikes the ground inches away from him.
"AH! What the hell was that for!?"
The clouds part momentarily and I peer down. "No saying the fuck word!"
He raises another eyebrow. "But you say it all the time."
"Erm..." *looks around* "Later!" *poof*
"Haha." He points at the sky. "You just went poof."
Another bolt striked the ground.
"Hey, watch it!"
*bolt*
"HEY!"
*bolt*
"Stop it!"
*bolt bolt bolt*
"AHHHHHH!!" He takes off. "Can't you do something useful with those things!?"
The sky lights up with lightning as a giant neon arrow forms and points toward the cave.
"....that works." He follows the sign to the entrance of the cave and looks up. "Thanks authoress lady."
^^ "Call me goddess." I wave the middle finger before leaving.
"..." He walks into the dimly lit cavern and-
Legolas: "Why is it dimly lit?"
...because there's a fire.
Legolas: "Why is there a fire?"
Because someone made one.
Legolas: "Why did someone ma-"
SHUT-UP! *points at fire* NOW GO!
"Ah!" The elf jumps over to the flame. "No, but really, who ma-"
*poof*
"...bitch."
"I HEARD THAT!!"
"Eep!" He abruptly sits down. Everything becomes quiet. "...is someone in here?"
"Take off you clothes." A voice booms.
"What!?" He crosses his arms over his chest protectively. "...authoress lady? Is that you?"
"Um, no."
"Oh...who the hell's there!?"
"...God."
"God? Who's God?"
"Erm, I mean Elbereth."
"Don't try to trick me!" *looks around* "Why do you want me to take off my clothes?"
"You're wet."
"I'm not-" He looks down. "...shut-up. It was raining."
"Come on Leggy, take it off!"
*gasp!* "Leggy!? There's only two people who call me that! Fangirls and-"
"Meeeee!" Aragorn falls off a rock he was sitting on. "Hey Leggy."
"...erm, Aragorn?"
He pulls himself up and stumbles over to his friend. "Whaaa?"
"You are...disorientated."
"Soo?"
"And you're slurring."
The ranger scratches his ass, then his head in confusion.
"You're drunk man."
*shifty eyes* "No I'm not." A bottle of whiskey falls out of his pocket. "That...it's not mine." He kicks it to the side.
"It's okay, just don't-"
"Leggyyyyy!!" *tackles*
"...do that."
"I missed you so muuuchh!"
"You saw me like an hour ago."
"I did?"
"...you were amongst the fangirls."
"Ohhh." He looks thoughtful, then blinks. "Anyway, then I went to this cave and made a fire and ate a rock and it was really tasty but kind of hard and then I found some stuff to drink 'cuz this bat told me and-"
"Wait, did you just say bat?"
"...I dunno. I think I did."
Legolas gets up. "Where is it?"
*passes out*
"...stupid drunk." He looks around until he spots the small creature. *clears throat* "Ee ee eeee."
The animal cocks its head to the side. "Ee?"
*nod*
"Ee eeee e!" (You speak bat!)
"E." (Yep.)
"....eeeeeeeeeeee?" (Wassuuupppp?)
"Ee ee ee ee e." (Wondering if you knew somewhere I could hide from the fangirls.)
"Ee eee?" (Cave not good enough for you?)
"Ee, ee!" (No, no!) *mumbles something*
"Eee!? Ee eee e ee ee!?" (What!? You say somethin' 'bout mah mamma!?)
"N-no!"
"Just because I'm little doesn't mean I can't kick your ass!"
"Huh!? You speak the common tongue!?"
"Hell yeah I speak it! Why wouldn't I!?"
"You're a...bat."
"So!? Don't mean I'm dumb!"
"I never said you were dumb, it's just-"
"Oh! So now you're racist!?"
"What!?"
"You think I'm trash just 'cuz I'm brown!"
*blink* "...I never actually thought of that..."
"Well here's somethin' to think about!" It lets go of the ceiling. "Time to die futhah muckah!"
"You mean mother fu-"
"DIIIEEEEE!!!" It swoops down to the elf and scratches at him. "One, it's not called the common tongue, it's ENGLISH!" *scratch* "Second of all, bats are not stupid!" *scratch* "And third of all, MAH MAMMA WAS NOT A BUSH BABY!!!!" *scratch scratch*
"Ahhhhhhhh!" He waves him arms frantically in the air. "Get off! Get off!!" He suddenly stops and looks around. "...it's gone."
He begins walking toward the fire when Aragorn sits up, squints at him, and drawls, "You have a leaf-ed in your har." *passes back out*
O.O "Oh no." The elf reaches a hand over his head and feels the fur.
"EEEEEEEEE!!!" The bat wriggles in his hair.
"Gyah! Get out, GET OUT!" He swats at it. "Leave my golden locks alone!"
"Eeeeeeeeeee!"
Legolas makes his way over to the sleeping Aragorn. "AH! ...help...ME!!"
As if on command, the ranger stands up, plucks the struggling creature out of his hair, and lays back down with it in his arms.
"Eee!"
*blink* "...AHAHAHAHAHA!!"
"What!?"
"You two are so CUTE! Just like a couple!"
"A couple!? I'm more like a teddy bear than anything jackass!"
*points and laughs* "YOU'RE SPOONING!!!"
"GAH!" The bat lifts its head. "E EE EEE E EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!""
The ground shakes. Legolas clutches his ears. "Shut it you little monster!"
It does. He looks around.
*boom*
"What was that?"
*boom boom*
"...wings?"
*boom boom boom*
"Wings go boom?"
*BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM*
"Oh shit..."
Hundeds of bats fly into view, heading straight for Legolas.
"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
A/N: *GASP!* What will happen to Legolas!? Will the bats visciously eat him alive!? Will Aragorn ever become sober!? Will I ever shut-up!? *GASP!* Read next time to find out! XD
^^ Please review! ^^
You know why?
....
BECAUSE YOU REVIEWED!!
*happiness* :)
Disclaimer: LOTR is not mine. *sadness* :(
~*~*~*~*~*The Cave*~*~*~*~*
It seemed he had been running for hours. Well, it had only been a couple of minutes since the fangirls had caught onto his trail, but he was tired, cold, and extremely frightened. ...and hungry. That bastard Sam stole his marshmellows on one of his previous "vacations" and he missed them dearly. So, so very dearly.
...anyway. O.o Legolas began slowing down as his muscles weakened. Yes, he had trained for this day for centuries...seeing as he had nothing better to do than prepare himself for the attack of rabid fangirls...but the sad truth was he couldn't do anything without his daily dose of marshmellow. It was an addiction. *twitch* HE NEEDED THEEMMMM!!
...erm... *runs away*
Legolas: O.O *blink* "Well..."
Bwa haha! I'm back! And I bring you gifts!
Legolas: "What could you possibly give me right now that would help my situation?"
^^ A marshmellow! *hands*
Legolas: *stare* Do I even wanna know?
...possibly.
Legolas: "I'll take that as a no." *eats*
^^ Yay! Now that should be just enough to get you to that cave over there! *points to creepy-looking cave in the distance*
Legolas: *raises an eyebrow* In this storm?
^^ Yep!
Legolas: ...couldn't you have made me a more, uh... *glances over at cave* ...comfortable shelter?
Oh, that's no fun silly! ^^ Have fun! *returns to authoress position*
The elf sighs and runs into the rain. Clouds drift overhead and block out the moon.
Legolas stops and looks up. "What the fu-"
A lightning bolt strikes the ground inches away from him.
"AH! What the hell was that for!?"
The clouds part momentarily and I peer down. "No saying the fuck word!"
He raises another eyebrow. "But you say it all the time."
"Erm..." *looks around* "Later!" *poof*
"Haha." He points at the sky. "You just went poof."
Another bolt striked the ground.
"Hey, watch it!"
*bolt*
"HEY!"
*bolt*
"Stop it!"
*bolt bolt bolt*
"AHHHHHH!!" He takes off. "Can't you do something useful with those things!?"
The sky lights up with lightning as a giant neon arrow forms and points toward the cave.
"....that works." He follows the sign to the entrance of the cave and looks up. "Thanks authoress lady."
^^ "Call me goddess." I wave the middle finger before leaving.
"..." He walks into the dimly lit cavern and-
Legolas: "Why is it dimly lit?"
...because there's a fire.
Legolas: "Why is there a fire?"
Because someone made one.
Legolas: "Why did someone ma-"
SHUT-UP! *points at fire* NOW GO!
"Ah!" The elf jumps over to the flame. "No, but really, who ma-"
*poof*
"...bitch."
"I HEARD THAT!!"
"Eep!" He abruptly sits down. Everything becomes quiet. "...is someone in here?"
"Take off you clothes." A voice booms.
"What!?" He crosses his arms over his chest protectively. "...authoress lady? Is that you?"
"Um, no."
"Oh...who the hell's there!?"
"...God."
"God? Who's God?"
"Erm, I mean Elbereth."
"Don't try to trick me!" *looks around* "Why do you want me to take off my clothes?"
"You're wet."
"I'm not-" He looks down. "...shut-up. It was raining."
"Come on Leggy, take it off!"
*gasp!* "Leggy!? There's only two people who call me that! Fangirls and-"
"Meeeee!" Aragorn falls off a rock he was sitting on. "Hey Leggy."
"...erm, Aragorn?"
He pulls himself up and stumbles over to his friend. "Whaaa?"
"You are...disorientated."
"Soo?"
"And you're slurring."
The ranger scratches his ass, then his head in confusion.
"You're drunk man."
*shifty eyes* "No I'm not." A bottle of whiskey falls out of his pocket. "That...it's not mine." He kicks it to the side.
"It's okay, just don't-"
"Leggyyyyy!!" *tackles*
"...do that."
"I missed you so muuuchh!"
"You saw me like an hour ago."
"I did?"
"...you were amongst the fangirls."
"Ohhh." He looks thoughtful, then blinks. "Anyway, then I went to this cave and made a fire and ate a rock and it was really tasty but kind of hard and then I found some stuff to drink 'cuz this bat told me and-"
"Wait, did you just say bat?"
"...I dunno. I think I did."
Legolas gets up. "Where is it?"
*passes out*
"...stupid drunk." He looks around until he spots the small creature. *clears throat* "Ee ee eeee."
The animal cocks its head to the side. "Ee?"
*nod*
"Ee eeee e!" (You speak bat!)
"E." (Yep.)
"....eeeeeeeeeeee?" (Wassuuupppp?)
"Ee ee ee ee e." (Wondering if you knew somewhere I could hide from the fangirls.)
"Ee eee?" (Cave not good enough for you?)
"Ee, ee!" (No, no!) *mumbles something*
"Eee!? Ee eee e ee ee!?" (What!? You say somethin' 'bout mah mamma!?)
"N-no!"
"Just because I'm little doesn't mean I can't kick your ass!"
"Huh!? You speak the common tongue!?"
"Hell yeah I speak it! Why wouldn't I!?"
"You're a...bat."
"So!? Don't mean I'm dumb!"
"I never said you were dumb, it's just-"
"Oh! So now you're racist!?"
"What!?"
"You think I'm trash just 'cuz I'm brown!"
*blink* "...I never actually thought of that..."
"Well here's somethin' to think about!" It lets go of the ceiling. "Time to die futhah muckah!"
"You mean mother fu-"
"DIIIEEEEE!!!" It swoops down to the elf and scratches at him. "One, it's not called the common tongue, it's ENGLISH!" *scratch* "Second of all, bats are not stupid!" *scratch* "And third of all, MAH MAMMA WAS NOT A BUSH BABY!!!!" *scratch scratch*
"Ahhhhhhhh!" He waves him arms frantically in the air. "Get off! Get off!!" He suddenly stops and looks around. "...it's gone."
He begins walking toward the fire when Aragorn sits up, squints at him, and drawls, "You have a leaf-ed in your har." *passes back out*
O.O "Oh no." The elf reaches a hand over his head and feels the fur.
"EEEEEEEEE!!!" The bat wriggles in his hair.
"Gyah! Get out, GET OUT!" He swats at it. "Leave my golden locks alone!"
"Eeeeeeeeeee!"
Legolas makes his way over to the sleeping Aragorn. "AH! ...help...ME!!"
As if on command, the ranger stands up, plucks the struggling creature out of his hair, and lays back down with it in his arms.
"Eee!"
*blink* "...AHAHAHAHAHA!!"
"What!?"
"You two are so CUTE! Just like a couple!"
"A couple!? I'm more like a teddy bear than anything jackass!"
*points and laughs* "YOU'RE SPOONING!!!"
"GAH!" The bat lifts its head. "E EE EEE E EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!""
The ground shakes. Legolas clutches his ears. "Shut it you little monster!"
It does. He looks around.
*boom*
"What was that?"
*boom boom*
"...wings?"
*boom boom boom*
"Wings go boom?"
*BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM*
"Oh shit..."
Hundeds of bats fly into view, heading straight for Legolas.
"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
A/N: *GASP!* What will happen to Legolas!? Will the bats visciously eat him alive!? Will Aragorn ever become sober!? Will I ever shut-up!? *GASP!* Read next time to find out! XD
^^ Please review! ^^
