Norrington and Sparrow crept along the streets, careful to keep out of sight. They finally made it to the docks, and saw that a young man was standing guard over the SS Seamonkey in the place of Murtogg and Mullroy.
"Oh dear… Sampson. He'll never let me pass…" groaned Norrington.
"Now why d'ye say that, mate?" asked Jack.
"Oh, perhaps the fact that he's wearing an "I Love The Commodore" tee-shirt over his uniform? Just a guess."
Jack looked at Norrington. "So, how are you gonna get us on the pretty boat…? I mean, ship." Jack corrected hastily.
"Me? You want /me/ to get us on?"
"Well, he's not just gonna let me stroll on and sail off with it, is he?"
Norrington shook his head. "Whatever you have in mind, Pirate, I can assure you…"
"Me name is SPARROW! Captain Jack Sparrow! Why doncha ever use me proper name?"
"Proper name? It said in your file that you were born Boo-Boo Shnookums Flamingo."
Jack clapped a hand over Norrington's mouth. "Ye say that name again and you can ferget abouts me helpin' ye, SS Seamonkey or not."
Norrington nodded meekly. "Yes sir."
Jonathan Stacey Samson stood, guarding the SS Seamonkey like Commodore Norrington told him to. He sighed.
"Wow, that Norrington is so dreamy…"
He pulled out a notebook labeled 'Fic' and added a few details to his masterpiece, in which Norrington falls in love with him, and they frolic off into the sunset together.
"Indeed…" Sampson muttered. "He's a studmuffin all right… a definite hunk… much more so than that *urgh* John Nightingale or Joe Robin or whatever…"
"IT'S SPARROW!!! CAPTAIN JACK SPARROW!!!"
"Ah, yes, that's the one. Wait, what?" Sampson looked up, and saw Jack standing there. "Oh, hello Pirate. I'm going to capture you now, so Commodore Norrington will notice me. Okay?"
"Lemmie think about it…er…not okay. Ya see, I've got me own special secret weapon for you to let me pass…"
"Never!" gasped Jonathan Stacey Samson. "You'd need to steal Commodore Norrington himself to get me to step aside!"
"Oh, okay." Said Jack, and he pulled out the Commodore from behind him. "Oh, and I don't like the word 'steal'. We commandeer things…" Jack gave a little giggle, and smiled at his hat. "Did ye hear me, luv? I commandeered the Commodore…"
Norrington rolled his eyes. "Oh help." He said in a monotone. "Do let someone let the pirate pass, or I'll be horribly killed, and thereby won't be sexy anymore. Oh please, help."
Sampson looked horrified. "Yes sir! Whatever you say!" He turned to Jack. "The ship is yours, Pirate. Just please don't hurt my lovemuffin!"
Jack pretended to think hard. "I…. suppose so. But I'll needs to be takin' him with me, savvy? And if ye or any of yer other little uniformed boy-toys try to stop me, the Commodore gets it!" Jack made a slashing motion across his throat.
"Oh please, do what he says." Said Norrington, sighing with boredom.
"I promise." Said Sampson, then he turned to Norrington. "I'll find a way, my love. We /will/ meet again, I can promise you."
Sampson then kissed Norrington full on the lips for a few seconds, then, weeping, ran from the docks.
Norrington was paralyzed with a mixture of fear and shock.
Jack smiled after Sampson, then turned to the Commodore. "Well mate, it looks like you just made a new friend!"
Jack then took off his hat and polished it for a second. "Isn't it so terribly romantic, luv?" he said.
The hat didn't respond.
