A Different Sort of Purchase

Kaoru stared at the computer screen, which cast a white light in the completely darkened room.  There was no feeling of disturbance in Kaoru within the utter loneliness in this night-cast room, for she was on a quest of sorts.  A journey in which the young woman would finally receive the impassioned feelings flowing through her veins with each breath she took.  The door was locked, sealed so tightly in fact, that random pedestrians, mainly Sano and Kenshin, could neither hear her nor barge in upon her scheming.  It wasn't that Kaoru was doing anything shameful, only that her situation was quite embarrassing and thus, Kaoru wanted no one to know of the ordeal. 

From the moment the baka red-headed rurouni had come to stay within the Kaoru's hospitality, she had been quite intrigued by his odd appearance and housewife-like manner. 

At a loss, Kaoru had become quite desperate in her longings to be cared for by Kenshin.  No matter how hard Kaoru tried to catch Kenshin's eye and receive his attention, he never seemed to understand the feelings Kaoru felt each time she looked into his amethyst eyes.  Too clueless was the young man to perceive that Kaoru's love for him had completely erased his past from her heart, and that she had fallen for him.  This brought Kaoru to take drastic measures in hopes that Kenshin would feel pangs of jealousy.  Frowning, Kaoru typed in the URL of the website she had determined to use in order to get what she wanted, for Kaoru was an ambitious girl.  Quickly, the welcome screen of BishieBay loaded onto the computer monitor as Kaoru gripped the mouse.  Typing in the word man and checking the box to search in descriptions and titles, Kaoru clicked the button that said search, which resulted in approximately 300 pages of results, meaning either that Kaoru had found a cornucopia of guys, or that BishieBay had faults.

BishieBay was the companion site to BitchyBay, a website dedicated to sending cranky and unhappy woman suffering from PMS to maul the enemies of those who sent in their money to receive the website's services.  The latter website was far more popular the first, considering many more people existed on the Earth for the sole purpose of revenge than people simply searching for a menagerie of needed objects.  Thus, BishieBay was not as well known, though it was still much used by the public.  It was amazing how life-changing the internet could truly be, not that meant it was always in a good way.

"Clothes, soul, soul porn…EWWW!" yelped Kaoru as she gracelessly feel to the ground with a thump, her rear no longer rested against the seat of her swiveling chair.  Attempting to stand up, Kaoru quickly hit the back button, only to hear the voice of her beloved calling her name.

"Kaoru-dono," questioned Kenshin with a concerned tone in his gentle voice.  "Are you alright?"

"I'm….just…eugh…fine…" she grunted in reply, disentangling her ensnared legs from each other.

Again placing herself in the gray desk chair, Kaoru continued to scan the results of her search.

"Liver..." yawned the ebony haired woman as she became sleepy with boredom.  "Soul, old gym socks, donated monkey heart, screw driver… Ah, here we go!"

The description of a supposedly handsome man popped up, further spurring Kaoru's curiosity.  

"Tall, dark, and handsome twenty year old willing to be bought as a husband." Read Kaoru from the ad.

It did not even occur to the teenage girl that no sexy beast in his right mind would sell his freedom on an auctioning website.  Would a guy who was hot actually NEED to sell himself?  Not to mention, there was no picture displayed, which was really not very convincing.

Continuing to read, Kaoru mumbled, "I have a gun, a VERY big gun, which could be considered very useful in relation to my other skills.  My middle name is JC, which COULD be interpreted as many things.  I am VERY good at battleship, a PRO in fact.  As you can tell, I know how to treat a woman proper.  If you'd like to contact me, you can email at Imyoursexybeast@marryme.com." 

A smile formed on Kaoru's face as she blushed crimson to the roots of her hair.  This man would be PERFECT for her master plan of making the man she loved, Kenshin, want her. 

"OH WOW, there's more!" Kaoru exclaimed, clapping her hands excitedly.  "It says bidding starts at only 1000 yen!"

To Kaoru, this seemed quite cheap, considering the cost if the average video game for a handheld system was approximately 4,800 yen. 

By no means was Kaoru stupid even though she had failed to see how unrealistic this auction was.  Kaoru was only blinded by her affections for Kenshin, which seemed to have dissolved her sense of reality.  This was really quite a sad situation to be in, but emotions often disperse any grains of rationality left in its captive, and thus Kaoru had begun to regard the world with fantasy.  Since it was the last few minutes of the auction, Kaoru looked at the current bid and deciding to be the first bidder, Kaoru entered her bid of 1000 yen and prepared to bid up if she was out bid.  Drawing to a close, Kaoru smiled as she looked at the screen and began to make the payment on her newly found fiancé.  Somehow this seemed far too easy to be true, but shrugging off the feeling, Kaoru proceeded to work at destroying the evidence of her bidding.  Only enough for her to complete the transaction she had began had been left behind so that Sano and Kenshin could never discover her plan.  Kaoru felt that she would die of embarrassment or be forced to leave her home if her scheme was discovered.  It wasn't completely noble of Kaoru to use the man she had just bought in such a way, but in her heart, she told herself it was all for the better good, and besides if it didn't work out with Kenshin, she'd still have a man to marry by right of law.  At that point, life could not have become more beautiful save Kenshin confessing his feelings for her, but Kaoru knew that would have to wait.  Only Kaoru's imagination could envision what would ensue, and still, such a prediction was completely wrong.  Oh how troubles of the heart can completely twist one's life into its own form.