A/N: Oh, I have to say a HUGE thank you to all of my lovely reviewers! Because I love you! And Javert loves you too!!! *fangirls run screaming in direction of Javert* *sigh* Yes, but I'm really too lazy to write my individual thanks to all of you, so that will just have to wait until next chapter, which will be up within a couple days (I really hope). And I will write to ALL of you then. Happy? Not singing in French?

 I'm glad.

The Diary of a Misunderstood Policeman

(Part 3)

Still November 17th, dammit!

10:30 p.m.

I fear for my sanity.

I am slowly losing my mind.

THAT BRAINLESS GAMIN IS STILL SINGING!!!!!!

Wondering if it would be against the rules to knock him out with my nightstick. But then again, he hasn't actually committed a crime.

Too BAD!!!!

Stay calm, Javert. In just an hour and a half, you can go home to your nice soft bed. You can wash your sideburns with some nice shampoo, and then dry your nice sideburns, and then put some sideburn-spray on your sideburns, and then go to sleep.

AND NEVER WAKE UP AGAIN.

Yes, that DOES sound good. Mostly the sideburns part. And the part about never waking up again.

I wonder, in the case of my death, if I would go to heaven or hell?

Where do gamin children go?

Well, I'll go to the place opposite where THEY go. If I had to spend all eternity with this kid – he says his name is Gavroche (well, at least it's not Gavroche ValGavroche) – I might have to kill myself. Again.

Wait, is it POSSIBLE to kill yourself when you're in the afterlife?

Oh, GOD, I HOPE so.

11:00 p.m.

I'm hungry.

I can't cook.

Perhaps I could make one of the Rue de Whatsit prostitutes come in and cook for me?

But then my inner desires for her feet might overtake me. And no one wants that. I wouldn't want that gamin to go around telling people about it. That would seriously screw up my life.

11:10 p.m.

WHY IS EVERYTHING SO COMPLICATED???

Take a deep breath. In, out. In, out.

11:11 p.m.

Can't take it any longer!!!!!

11:20 p.m.

Hmm. Perhaps the gamin is good for SOMETHING.

This is what happened.

I was screaming and hitting my head on various pieces of furniture that happen to be in the police station here when the kid heard me. AND HE STOPPED SINGING!!!!

JOY!

"Sir, is everything all right?"

"No!" Of course everything wasn't all right; if everything was all right, would I be bashing my skull against everything? "Damn straight everything's not all right! I'm starving to DEATH!" I slid slowly down the side of the wall and fell forward slightly. Gavroche was staring at me with his hand over his mouth.

No need to be amazed at my talents; I always did have a flair for the dramatic.

He was actually behaving politely, for once. "Sir, would you like me to make some food for you?"

That's right. The gamin, who I locked up without a word and for no reason, was offering to HELP me.

Because it was very late, I did not notice the oddity of the situation.

I nodded mutely, got up and unlocked the door of his cell. He skipped out, whistling. That is, until I shot him my signature Javert-is-very-pissed-and-you'd-do-well-not-to-annoy-him glare. It worked.

He got over to the stove, and he is there now, cooking me eggs. I think.

Except it is very late, as I said before, and I am not thinking very clearly.

Oh well.

11:40 p.m.

Food is ready. Mmm, eggs. Gamin has also poured some sort of drink for me. Can't really tell what it is, but it's very good. Ate eggs and demanded more of unspecified drink.

11:45 p.m.

On fourth glass of said beverage. Must find out where kid buys it.

Probably stole it. Oh well! Jolly old men like me are kind to children and do not punish them for stealing.

…Where did THAT come from???

Yelled at gamin for more drink.

Fifth glass. Must use chamber pot. Told gamin to stay where he was. He looked amused.

11:55 p.m.

Back in police station.

WHERE IS GAMIN????????

Damn, he's gone!!! …I…think…

Called a carriage. Going home.

Will feel better in the morning. Will kill gamin in the morning.

Wait, no! WILL BE KIND TO LITTLE CHILD IN THE MORNING. Yes. Of COURSE.

12:10 a.m.

Too tired to wash sideburns. Instead went straight to bed.

I feel odd.

And unsexy.

12:15 a.m.

Crying in the corner of my room because of un-sexiness.

Suppose I will have to regain uber-sexiness in the morning. Good night, all.