Perfection is finally attained not when there is no longer anything to add but when there is no longer anything to take away, when a body has been stripped down to its nakedness.
Antoine de Saint-Exupéry
The Trouble With Being Perfect
Chapter Seven-The Kindness of James Potter
Day One-Being Perfectly Charming
I am really good at being a wonderful young man that is polite to all. I opened the door for Bertha Jorkins today; I'm hoping to make up for that forest comment. I even chased Peeves away from some first years.
This is going to be the easiest date I ever got. I should have done this years ago.
*~*~*
Day Seven-Being Nice
Do you know how hard it is to be nice?
I do.
It is really, really, really, beyond belief, indescribably, and insurmountably impossible! You know all those imbeciles you have to talk to each day…the people who cannot seem to figure out normal life events? And you know how you generally make snotty remarks or say they have the IQ of a giant toddler? Well, I can't do that anymore. I can't tell the people who ask to copy my homework what to do with themselves anymore. I can't get back at the Slytherins for their nasty comments. I can't even do anything to Snivellus.
I've lost all the good things in life.
Everything except Quidditch, and that is pretty much my only activity outside of classes right now. As soon as four o'clock comes, I have to get out of the castle before I can make a rude comment. Do I ever run.
This always makes Sirius laugh. He thinks the whole situation is funny, but he roots me on. He'll even say the mean stuff for me some of the time.
Evans is, of course, furious that I've made it for a whole week. She watches me as if I'll suddenly explode and start cursing at the teachers or something.
She'll be fit to be tied when next Sunday rolls around.
I have even more surprises for her. I'll be really nice to her.
*~*~*
Day Nine-Still Being Nice
"Hi, Lily, can I help you with that?" I asked rather gallantly.
She got a strange look on her face, looking between me and her stack of textbooks. "Why not?" she asked and shrugged. I found a dozen books piled in my arms. "Is the being nice thing working out for you?"
I gave her a withering glare, and she started laughing. "I guess not! It is funny to see you try, though."
"I think you just like to see me suffering."
"Perhaps that's true, but you do it so well."
"You think so?"
"Definitely."
"Are you flirting with you?
"I believe I am. I like you a lot more when you're being nice."
"Unfortunately, it isn't possible to remain this way for the rest of my life. I think it would pull a muscle or something."
"That's too bad."
"Where do you want to eat when we go to Hogsmeade? The Hog's Head?"
"Oh? Do I get to select the place? How lovely!" Lily gushed and I became scared. "I would love to get some tea at Madame Puddifoot's. You know, it's that new shop that isn't directly on High Street."
"I know." I knew all too well. The place was loaded with what I could only describe as frilly crap. Lace practically strangled you as you walked in. "Uhh, that will be…wonderful."
"Won't it?" she asked, her eyes glinting dangerously. I was worried. By now the two of us had made it to the common room, and I relinquished her books quite readily.
"Wanna put those away and then maybe go for a walk?"
"I would love to walk in the freezing cold with my one true love." I heard snickers burst out from the people surrounding us, and I could only scowl. She turned to look at them, and very deliberately turned back to me, saying, "I would actually go for a walk with you."
I raised my eyebrows, but the people around us started grasping their chests and collapsing onto the floor. "Honestly?"
"Sure, why not? You pretty much have to be nice for another week, so something amusing might happen. Let me put these away."
I won't delude my audience into believing she suddenly jumped me and snogged me with years of pent up passions; she didn't so much as hold my hand. Then again, even I can see through my arrogance now and again to notice she doesn't care much for me. I'm weakening her, though. She doesn't know, or maybe she doesn't want to admit it, but one day, Lily Evans will be mine.
*~*~*
Day Eleven-Dying a Painful Death
Have I mentioned how hard being nice is?
My God, I'm losing my bloody, adolescent-boy mind. I would love to run through the halls screaming and cursing.
The worst part is that everyone can see me cracking; I know they can, especially Lily. She gives me these looks with a smirk, and she knows I'm dying.
Snape isn't helping things either. He knows I'm over the barrel. He can say anything to me, but I can't say anything in return. He loves this.
*~*~*
Day Thirteen-Developing Nervous Habits to Replace My Genetically Inalterable Urge to Shred the Masses of Fools, Idiots, Dimwits, Morons, and Slytherins
HELP ME!
*~*~*
Day Fourteen-Thinking Lily Better Be One Hell of a Girl
I made it. I've sweated, thrown up, and nearly went mad in my quest to be kind for fourteen consecutive days, but by God, I did it.
I am James Potter-A God.
Next Hogsmeade weekend…week after next, I get two hours with Lily Evans, Hogwarts Head Girl, at Harry's Diner.
I have done something to please the gods.
*~*~*
Possibly the only thing harder than being nice is waiting for that date with Lily. Of course, she says it isn't a date, but we both know better.
The whole school knows better; I am continually being asked where we're going and what we're going to do, and if we're an official couple. Since she refuses to speak to me most of the time, I am assuming the last question can be answered with a no.
Sirius wrote my mother to say I finally got Lily to go out with me, and I considered killing him for that. She wrote a mushy, utterly disgusting letter back saying her 'little boy is growing up and making a big hit with the girls'. It was so embarrassing; I torched that letter quickly.
I'm not going to let anything get me down, though. No matter what, I was successful in earning a date from Lily Evans, and it was before Christmas holidays! Now I only needed to convince her she was wildly in love with me.
*~*~*
Finally, the eve of the big date arrived. I laid out the clothes I would wear the next day and put some special stuff on my hair when I went to bed that was supposed to make it lie flat. I have the distinct impression Lily doesn't like it messy. She is a strange girl sometimes.
Earlier, she had made plans for our date with me. I need some sort of written record of it. If I ever get a Pensieve, I'll put that in there for sure. She came up and asked me what time I wanted to meet her.
Meet HER for a DATE!
Anyway, she didn't seem too thrilled. One would almost think she didn't actually want to go with me. Then again, girls love to play hard to get, don't they? Fascinating creatures.
But tomorrow is the big day; Lily Evans will finally get to see the appealing side of me. Two hours alone at a diner with her. This ought to be good.
That night I only had nightmares. The first involved me showing up without clothes on. The second involved her shoving ice cream down my shirt in a manner that wasn't kinky…just cold. And then the last one was the worst. Lily morphed into Snape.
When I awoke, I was drenched in sweat and terrified.
