The Trouble With Being Perfect
Chapter Eight - The Success of James Potter
Friendship is the perfection of love, and superior to love; it is love purified, exalted, proved by experience and a consent of minds. -Samuel Richardson
Then the big day arrived, and I really didn't know what to do with myself. I felt like I was going to blow up.or throw up. My whole life had boiled down to that point, and all my thoughts and emotions were roiling around inside my head as if they were suddenly going to start pouring out my ears and very possibly my eyes.
I couldn't sleep the night before, couldn't eat that morning, and was barely able to get myself dressed for the big day. I started shaking so badly Sirius had to tie my shoes before shooting a jet of water from his wand to thoroughly startle me. That really settled me back into my own skin. Until I started hoping I wouldn't screw up my big chance.
That's what started me thinking about all I have gone through to get her. I have made a complete ass of myself on numerous occasions just to gain her attention. All this time I have done nothing productive. All my lovely little jokes and stunts in front of her had all been unsuccessful. Nothing had made her go out with me until I did something completely uncharacteristic.
That said something to me, and it wasn't necessarily something I liked.
I'm not what she's looking for, but she is everything I've ever wanted.
She is everything anybody would want. She is nice and smart and pretty. And I have done nothing to deserve her. I have been rude and immature and mean and generally awful to her.
No wonder she had refused to go out with me. Now that was a sobering thought.
All at once my huge ego, my stacked arrogance, my layers of perfection cracked and crumbled and it hurt.
A thousand doubts came rushing to me, and I nearly crawled back under my nice and toasty blankets. There was something to be said for a nap on a cold winter morning.
My good pal Sirius quickly showed me the error in this.
So basically, I wouldn't have gone on this date if Sirius hadn't been there to drag me through the preliminary steps. Don't be fooled though, Sirius didn't hold my hand through this. He cursed, prodded, and generally made a huge ass of himself in the process. If I would've had time, I very likely would've killed the idiot.
In any case, he pushed me out of the dorm looking presentable, but that was all me. I am a naturally beautiful young man. Actually, I am naturally gorgeous. Once I'm old enough, I could definitely with the Witch Weekly Most Charming Smile Award.
Even if I was scared, I was still looking forward to going out with Lily. Something about her just makes me want to smile. That's why I like her so much. I met her in the common room, and amidst a great amount of comments, we went outside and clamored into a carriage that would whisk us off to Hogsmeade and my big break.
Any person who has ever been out with someone he or she really likes knows what happens next. Yes, that horrible, suffocating silence came, making me want to start babbling just to make it end. To make things even worse, Lily started laughing. I wanted to throw up. I felt like I couldn't breathe. Were the carriages supposed to be going this fast? We couldn't die on our first date! I hadn't even kissed her yet!
"You've been asking me out for five years, but now that we're finally going to Hogsmeade together, you can't string two words together to say to me?"
"I-uh." I wanted to cry. But then, I thought about what I was doing. This would be my only chance if I didn't straighten up. This was just like sitting next to her in Transfiguration. "I am overwhelmed by your incredible beauty and amazing wit."
"You are so weird. Anyway, what are our plans for today?"
"You mentioned you wanted to go to Madame Puddifoot's, so I figured we could eat an early lunch there. If you need to do any shopping, we could go do that. Then I was sort of thinking you might like to go ice skating. The pond on the south side of town is always frozen."
"I've never been ice skating before."
I contemplated lying in front of the carriage wheels. I was never more relieved than when she said that she would give it a try anyway. The only bump in the road was the whole Madame Puddifoot's thing. I had only been in there once before, and, well.it wasn't pretty.
"Do you go to Madame Puddifoot's much," I asked as we walked down High Street.
"Only on rainy days or when you're being particularly annoying. I've never seen you venture to this part of town before, so it was safe. I found someplace else to go, so it's safe to bring you here."
"Oh really? Where?"
"Only threats of a Dementor could drag it out of me."
"Well, uh, here we are." I opened the door for her and tried to sneak in behind her, hoping the proprietress wouldn't recognize me. I was immediately engulfed with lace and all things pink. "This is, uh..pretty."
Lily hid her face behind a menu, but I think she was laughing. I did the same as the portly Madame Puddifoot waddled her way to our table. "What will the two of you be having today?"
Lily ordered first, and then I addressed her without lowering the menu. I felt Lily start to tug it from my hands, but I held on tight.
"James, give her the menu so she can get our orders." I've heard that tone before. It's the one my mum uses when she thinks I'm acting up. Since it was Lily, I gave in and handed Madame Puddifoot the menu.
"I'll be bringing your drink still in the can," she said sharply. "Mind you don't touch anything."
"How can she remember one poor boy that accidentally broke a few glasses two years ago?"
"My guess would be that she remembered the boy that broke 183 glasses when his charm for a Slytherin missed," Lily said, laughing at me. I suddenly had a nasty feeling of realization.
"You remembered, and that's why chose to come here?"
"Why of course! Look at the atmosphere.who would actually want to spend time here? You're at risk of eating lace with every bite. It was worth it, though, to see you hide behind the menu."
"I'm glad you enjoyed it."
"You have absolutely no idea, James."
I smiled and she smiled in return. There was something in that moment that made it ours. To me, it seemed like everything around us was swirling and diving, but we were the center of it all. She was still laughing at my menu disguise, and I don't think I had ever longed for her more.
"Let's get our food to go and eat at the pond. We can check out our competition," she suggested. I naturally agreed and we were soon on our way. The trip to the pond on the edge of town seemed to blur by while the blood in my ears roared. I must've been saying something amusing, because Lily smiled or laughed for most of the walk, and she did refrain from her awful comments.
"You look terribly serious."
I jumped at her sudden comment to me; it was right in the middle of her telling me about wanting to write for the Daily Prophet
"I was just thinking I am having a great time."
"You know what? I am too."
*~*~*
I became so wrapped up in everything we were doing that I didn't have time to carry on one of my inner reflections until we settled into a return carriage to Hogwarts. There's only one way that I have to describe the day.unmatchable. I've never had such a great time with anybody except Sirius, and that isn't really the same thing. Before, I might've been just a bit obsessed with Lily, but I've taken that up a step. That day with her made me feel happy and excited and amazed all at the same time. I was me only magnified. I have no idea what wrought the change in her. Maybe she saw me how I am without other people (Snivellus). Admittedly, I was incredibly charming and nice.
"I'm supposed to meet Pat at the lake now that we're back. I, uh, I had a nice time today, Potter."
"Me too," I said, wincing slightly as I spoke. My face was becoming a bit stiff after I slid halfway across the pond on it. Ouch. "Um, would you, er, want to, well-."
"Yes, I would. If you sit by me tomorrow in Charms, I promise not to call you a moron."
"I don't think I can resist an offer like that."
"Good." Lily smiled so that her eyes started crinkling at the edges, and I knew she was laughing at me, but I couldn't care less. She tucked her hair back and walked away. I watched her and I knew that no matter what, I would be sitting next to her in Charms the next morning.
Chapter Eight - The Success of James Potter
Friendship is the perfection of love, and superior to love; it is love purified, exalted, proved by experience and a consent of minds. -Samuel Richardson
Then the big day arrived, and I really didn't know what to do with myself. I felt like I was going to blow up.or throw up. My whole life had boiled down to that point, and all my thoughts and emotions were roiling around inside my head as if they were suddenly going to start pouring out my ears and very possibly my eyes.
I couldn't sleep the night before, couldn't eat that morning, and was barely able to get myself dressed for the big day. I started shaking so badly Sirius had to tie my shoes before shooting a jet of water from his wand to thoroughly startle me. That really settled me back into my own skin. Until I started hoping I wouldn't screw up my big chance.
That's what started me thinking about all I have gone through to get her. I have made a complete ass of myself on numerous occasions just to gain her attention. All this time I have done nothing productive. All my lovely little jokes and stunts in front of her had all been unsuccessful. Nothing had made her go out with me until I did something completely uncharacteristic.
That said something to me, and it wasn't necessarily something I liked.
I'm not what she's looking for, but she is everything I've ever wanted.
She is everything anybody would want. She is nice and smart and pretty. And I have done nothing to deserve her. I have been rude and immature and mean and generally awful to her.
No wonder she had refused to go out with me. Now that was a sobering thought.
All at once my huge ego, my stacked arrogance, my layers of perfection cracked and crumbled and it hurt.
A thousand doubts came rushing to me, and I nearly crawled back under my nice and toasty blankets. There was something to be said for a nap on a cold winter morning.
My good pal Sirius quickly showed me the error in this.
So basically, I wouldn't have gone on this date if Sirius hadn't been there to drag me through the preliminary steps. Don't be fooled though, Sirius didn't hold my hand through this. He cursed, prodded, and generally made a huge ass of himself in the process. If I would've had time, I very likely would've killed the idiot.
In any case, he pushed me out of the dorm looking presentable, but that was all me. I am a naturally beautiful young man. Actually, I am naturally gorgeous. Once I'm old enough, I could definitely with the Witch Weekly Most Charming Smile Award.
Even if I was scared, I was still looking forward to going out with Lily. Something about her just makes me want to smile. That's why I like her so much. I met her in the common room, and amidst a great amount of comments, we went outside and clamored into a carriage that would whisk us off to Hogsmeade and my big break.
Any person who has ever been out with someone he or she really likes knows what happens next. Yes, that horrible, suffocating silence came, making me want to start babbling just to make it end. To make things even worse, Lily started laughing. I wanted to throw up. I felt like I couldn't breathe. Were the carriages supposed to be going this fast? We couldn't die on our first date! I hadn't even kissed her yet!
"You've been asking me out for five years, but now that we're finally going to Hogsmeade together, you can't string two words together to say to me?"
"I-uh." I wanted to cry. But then, I thought about what I was doing. This would be my only chance if I didn't straighten up. This was just like sitting next to her in Transfiguration. "I am overwhelmed by your incredible beauty and amazing wit."
"You are so weird. Anyway, what are our plans for today?"
"You mentioned you wanted to go to Madame Puddifoot's, so I figured we could eat an early lunch there. If you need to do any shopping, we could go do that. Then I was sort of thinking you might like to go ice skating. The pond on the south side of town is always frozen."
"I've never been ice skating before."
I contemplated lying in front of the carriage wheels. I was never more relieved than when she said that she would give it a try anyway. The only bump in the road was the whole Madame Puddifoot's thing. I had only been in there once before, and, well.it wasn't pretty.
"Do you go to Madame Puddifoot's much," I asked as we walked down High Street.
"Only on rainy days or when you're being particularly annoying. I've never seen you venture to this part of town before, so it was safe. I found someplace else to go, so it's safe to bring you here."
"Oh really? Where?"
"Only threats of a Dementor could drag it out of me."
"Well, uh, here we are." I opened the door for her and tried to sneak in behind her, hoping the proprietress wouldn't recognize me. I was immediately engulfed with lace and all things pink. "This is, uh..pretty."
Lily hid her face behind a menu, but I think she was laughing. I did the same as the portly Madame Puddifoot waddled her way to our table. "What will the two of you be having today?"
Lily ordered first, and then I addressed her without lowering the menu. I felt Lily start to tug it from my hands, but I held on tight.
"James, give her the menu so she can get our orders." I've heard that tone before. It's the one my mum uses when she thinks I'm acting up. Since it was Lily, I gave in and handed Madame Puddifoot the menu.
"I'll be bringing your drink still in the can," she said sharply. "Mind you don't touch anything."
"How can she remember one poor boy that accidentally broke a few glasses two years ago?"
"My guess would be that she remembered the boy that broke 183 glasses when his charm for a Slytherin missed," Lily said, laughing at me. I suddenly had a nasty feeling of realization.
"You remembered, and that's why chose to come here?"
"Why of course! Look at the atmosphere.who would actually want to spend time here? You're at risk of eating lace with every bite. It was worth it, though, to see you hide behind the menu."
"I'm glad you enjoyed it."
"You have absolutely no idea, James."
I smiled and she smiled in return. There was something in that moment that made it ours. To me, it seemed like everything around us was swirling and diving, but we were the center of it all. She was still laughing at my menu disguise, and I don't think I had ever longed for her more.
"Let's get our food to go and eat at the pond. We can check out our competition," she suggested. I naturally agreed and we were soon on our way. The trip to the pond on the edge of town seemed to blur by while the blood in my ears roared. I must've been saying something amusing, because Lily smiled or laughed for most of the walk, and she did refrain from her awful comments.
"You look terribly serious."
I jumped at her sudden comment to me; it was right in the middle of her telling me about wanting to write for the Daily Prophet
"I was just thinking I am having a great time."
"You know what? I am too."
*~*~*
I became so wrapped up in everything we were doing that I didn't have time to carry on one of my inner reflections until we settled into a return carriage to Hogwarts. There's only one way that I have to describe the day.unmatchable. I've never had such a great time with anybody except Sirius, and that isn't really the same thing. Before, I might've been just a bit obsessed with Lily, but I've taken that up a step. That day with her made me feel happy and excited and amazed all at the same time. I was me only magnified. I have no idea what wrought the change in her. Maybe she saw me how I am without other people (Snivellus). Admittedly, I was incredibly charming and nice.
"I'm supposed to meet Pat at the lake now that we're back. I, uh, I had a nice time today, Potter."
"Me too," I said, wincing slightly as I spoke. My face was becoming a bit stiff after I slid halfway across the pond on it. Ouch. "Um, would you, er, want to, well-."
"Yes, I would. If you sit by me tomorrow in Charms, I promise not to call you a moron."
"I don't think I can resist an offer like that."
"Good." Lily smiled so that her eyes started crinkling at the edges, and I knew she was laughing at me, but I couldn't care less. She tucked her hair back and walked away. I watched her and I knew that no matter what, I would be sitting next to her in Charms the next morning.
