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Have fun!

CHAPTER 3

The next week passed slowly. Physical therapy went considerably well, but Logan's frame of mind was another matter. He slowly started to let sink in what had happened, what this all meant for him and the rest of his life. Bling tried his best to support his new patient, but he soon understood that Logan was a loner in some sense. He apparently had to fight some battles alone.

One improvement was his sitting tolerance. It wasn't half as painful anymore and he could sit upright for quite some time without getting too exhausted.

Today, Bling had wheeled him to the huge window down the hallway so Logan could watch the busy street beneath; catch a glimpse of every day life that hadn't changed for all those people down there. For Logan nothing was the same anymore, but Bling hoped that he would be able to draw some comfort from seeing that not everything had changed.

*

"Logan?" A soft voice he knew too well addressed him. Grimacing in pain, Logan turned his head around and acknowledged the visitor with a nod. "Bennett." He was defensive, feeling very uncomfortable and self-conscious in the presence of his cousin, the guy he had spent so much time with, the guy he knew used to look up at his older cousin- now this would never be the case again.

"How are you?"

"What does it look like?"

Bennett nodded, he didn't know how to address this man. This was not the Logan he knew. "I'm sorry I didn't visit earlier. I was on a business trip in Europe," was his awkward attempt to cover his insecurity.

"Don't worry. Your parents passed by."

"Oh…" Bennett saw the angry sparkle in Logan's sad and tired eyes. "What happened?"

"They made pretty clear what they think. That I'm a total loser, that this is all my fault and that they won't accept a cripple in the family." The bitterness in Logan's voice was obvious, even though he tried hard to make it sound casual, like it didn't affect him.

"You know how they are." Bennett shifted, not sure how to act. He couldn't imagine his parents had said those things openly, but he knew them well enough to know that this probably was exactly what they thought deep down- and Logan knew them as well.

He looked at Logan- he had been like his brother, but this man was a stranger he didn't know how to behave towards.

God, his cousin had always made battles sound easy, had made obstacles sound like challenges. He had always told his younger cousin what to do, how to prepare for fights. But now…Bennett knew that this time Logan wouldn't be there for him like he used to be, he wouldn't tell his younger cousin that everything was going to be alright, that it would only take some effort and willpower to reach a goal. For the first time in his life Bennett had the impression that Logan didn't know what to do, that he didn't know how to fight a battle.

Logan's voice brought him back from his thoughts. "Yeah, now I really do. Damn it, I didn't ask for support or help, I didn't even ask them to come and see me. But then they came anyway, and all I would have expected was some semblance of understanding or acceptance. But no, they just showed me that I don't mean anything to them."

"Logan, that's not true." Bennett knew that it was painfully true. Logan had always been the black sheep, the fifth wheel. But until now it had never really mattered to him, he had been strong enough to go through life by himself- now he wasn't. Now was the first time that he would need his family to pull him through. And he couldn't count on them.

God, Logan was so much better in every way than Bennett and his brothers together. The only thing he had never been good at was to please his aunt and uncle. When he first came to live with them he had tried, but eventually he had given up on the idea that he would get praise or support from his "family".

From that point on he had gone his own, independent way, and Bennett had always admired him for this courage.

Logan was more clever, wittier, more handsome, more interesting, more charming, more…than he or his brothers would ever be. But Jonas had never seen it, or had never wanted to see it.

"You know that it is." Logan's voice was cold and startled Bennett.

"Yeah, I guess I do. Sorry," he finally admitted.

"Not your fault."

Bennett swallowed hard. Every time he looked at the guy across from him, he realized anew that this wasn't the guy he had grown up with anymore. His sparkling, lively , capturing eyes were emotionless, almost dead. He looked pale and thin, a lot older. The stress and pain he'd gone through were etched into his features. "How…how are you dealing?"

Logan looked up, considering his answer for a moment. "Barely, but thanks." There was no use in lying. And the smile he tried to put on never reached his eyes.

"I…I can pull a few strings, get you in rehab…"

"I'm doing fine here."

"Logan, look at you. You need…"

"I don't need anything but functioning legs! I don't care if I'm here or at a luxury rehab center where my food's served on golden plates. It won't change anything, so don't bother."

"Logan, please. Let me help you." Bennett tried again.

"I don't want you damn help!" Logan screamed, hitting his fist against the wall, wincing at the pain that shot through his entire body, at least the parts he still felt. "Leave me alone."

Bennett nodded. He knew there was nothing he could do. If Logan had made up his mind, it was final. That's what he had learnt about his cousin early on.

Deep down he knew that the rules had changed. And that he, as the only member of the family that mattered to Logan, should stay and force Logan, but he felt uncomfortable and the little voice in his head that was a constant companion told him that his father would not approve of it either. He hated himself for being this weak, but he couldn't just stop it.

"Okay, goodbye then. All the best." It hurt to leave Logan alone and in pain. But if that was what his stubborn cousin wanted, he could get it.

**

Bennett walked down the hallway, his head down, hand sin the pockets of his jacket, a deep frown on his face.

"Mr Cale?" Bling stopped him before he entered the elevator. "I'm Bling, Logan's therapist." The two men shook hands. "You have to give him time," Bling tried to explain

"Yeah, of course."

"It's not personal. He is just pretty confused right now, and very easy to irritate."

"Sure it's personal. You don't know him as well as I do. Logan knows what he is doing here."

"He needs you."

"I don't think so." Bennett shook his head regretfully. "He has always been a loner and he will fight this battle alone. This is how it's always been, ever since his parents died. My father never made anything easy for him. All that Logan has achieved, he has done it on his own. And this won't be different. He doesn't want me here, believe me. I'd known it, even before I came. But I still wanted to try, despite my better knowledge." Bennett laid a hand on Bling's muscular arm and looked at him with a sad smile. "Take good care of him, and if he ever needs anything, don't hesitate to let me know. Good bye."

Bling looked after the young man as the elevator closed. He had hoped Logan would cling to his family, draw strength from them. But that wasn't going to happen. He had to step in and help out.

*

TBC…

There is one more chapter to come! What do you think so far? Please let me know!