Author's Notes:
Weeee!!! Reviews! Reviews! Keep 'em coming, guys! I'm feeding on them to Live. (turns monstrous) Mwahahaha! *Pop!* (then turns into the cutest chibi) *Munch, munch* These reviews are delicious! Best reviews I've ever tasted. *Tee-hee* What can I say? I get all the encouragement from all of you to get this fic going. *Sigh* ^_____^ *Big grin* Okay, just hang on there, people!
Disclaimer: How much is that Fushigi Yugi on the window? What?! Not for sale? Too bad then, I can't have it.
(Yeah, I know! Corny. But I need a new disclaimer look.)
Still Loving You…
By: g3ozL!zh
Chapter 8
"C'mon, Hotohori!" Miaka pulled on Hotohori's clothes. "We gotta hurry! I don't want to waste another minute of my precious life moping around, feeling sorry for myself."
Hotohori glanced down at the over-excited Maiden, smiling amusingly. "In a minute, Miaka."
Miaka let go of his clothes and turned around, taking in the beauty of the west-side pavilion, sighing happily. "You don't know how much this means to me, Hotohori. You doing everything in your power to find Tamahome.
For you.
"You've showered me with all your time and comforted me all the times when I was down. You gave me everything and yet you don't ask anything in return." Miaka dropped her head and toyed the ground with her foot, as if she's shy all of a sudden.
You, Miaka. That's all I ask. He just stared at Miaka's back wistfully, a taint of longing and sadness reflected in the dark pools of his eyes. He never dared to say it out loud. They are almost over it, it's not good to bring it all up, not when she's so eager to meet with her love… to find her true happiness…
A girl like me isn't deserving to have such a very giving and understanding friend. After all the trouble that I've caused him, just to find Tamahome… At that moment, Miaka felt a tug at her heart. Guilt? She brushed it off quickly, not wanting to be in between her confused (…? Maybe even now still) feelings. Hotohori had accepted my decision and it would be unthinkable for me to remind him of that when he had gone through so much just to get over it. She shook her head, absently drawing circles on the ground. No, it is better left unsaid.
"What is on your mind, Miaka?"
Miaka's head shot up and she turned around to face him, a sheepish smile on her lips. "Oh, nothing!" She covered her mouth with her fingers. "You know, just basking in this new day, a different, better day!" Ooh, boy! There I go again. If I don't get all depressive, I think too much.
Hotohori gave him a half-amused and half-quizzical smile.
And when trying to wield myself out of it, I end up too perky for my own good justifying my actions.
Hotohori opened his mouth to say something when Nuriko's voiced interrupted whatever it is he was about to say.
"Hey, there, you two!" He waved wildly from his position at the bridge. "The horses are ready!"
Miaka grinned wildly, clasping her hands together in front of her chest.
"Okay, we'll be there, shortly." Hotohori called out.
"Okay!" Nuriko gave them a thumbs-up and walked out of sight.
Turning to Miaka, he offered his hand, smiling. "Shall we begin?"
Miaka's grin grew wider. "Shall we ever!"
As they walked towards the gates, Hotohori couldn't stop thinking about Miaka's sudden cheerful attitude. She has really had her hopes up for this. Us successfully finding Tamahome. It scared him to think what the effect would be on Miaka if they turned up empty-handed. He prayed a silent prayer to Suzaku, that they will indeed find Tamahome this time.
~ * @@@ * ~
"No, I'll stay here by myself if you guys want to go ahead!"
"Miaka, it's too dark now. We will never find him at this rate." Hotohori tried to talk some sense into the stubborn girl. "It's dangerous here."
"No!" Miaka exclaimed like for the tenth time. She snapped her head to the side, away from Hotohori's vision. "This is the place, right? Tamahome couldn't have gone that far. I'll keep looking for him then." She started walking. They have long gone left the horses and decided it would be easier to go on foot.
Hotohori pulled her back. "Wait!"
"What?!" Miaka stared up at him, a little annoyed now. Her feet are tired, she feels itchy all over and Hotohori won't let her be.
The young Emperor gave her a pleading look. "Let's continue tomorrow. I'm sure it will lead us to more clues as to where Tamahome really is."
"You yourself told me that Tamahome could have gone for miles already so I really can't afford more chances and time to slip by me."
"Yeah, that's why it's fruitless to go through with this search this time." Hotohori reasoned out for the last time.
"No! It's more fruitless if we give up now." Miaka's expression took on a frantic look. He clutched at Hotohori's shirt, shaking him a little. "What if we don't ever get another chance such as this?"
Now Hotohori was sure that Miaka is really in no condition to push through with the search. He was starting to get really worried. It may not have been a very good move to let Miaka join in with the search. She's been on edge and pursuing on instincts through the entire search. Yet, Hotohori's voice was calm and firm as he spoke, "We will, Miaka." He looked right through her eyes, willing her to give in. "Now let's go." He turned towards the path leading to the exit of the forest, gently pulling her with him.
"Let go!" Miaka forcefully wrenched her wrist from Hotohori's grasp. She was then off on her heels, running through the thick forest, Hotohori chasing after her closely.
"Miaka, wait!"
"If you don't want me to find Tamahome, then fine! I'll go find him myself!"
"No! That's not it!" What was Miaka thinking?
An arrow suddenly shot out of nowhere. It didn't seem to be targeting onto anybody but nevertheless, there still might be many others.
"Look out!"
Miaka stopped and turned around, unaware of the speeding arrow.
"No, go! Run!"
Miaka stared dumb-foundedly at him. "What?!" First he chases me to ---
Then she saw it. Miaka tried to escape from its range. Unfortunately, the arrow bore right through her shoulder. She staggered in pain.
"No! Miaka!"
She fell into a heap on the ground.
~ * @@@ * ~
From the door, Hotohori watched Miaka as she slept, brows creasing his fine features. God, I thought I nearly lost you, Miaka. He quietly walked towards the bed and held Miaka's limp hands. He caressed the porcelain skin with his thumb, noticing its lack of color. At least its warm, that's a sign that she's gonna be alright. He kneeled beside the bed, not bothering to use the chair available. Gently, as if handling a very fragile glass, he smoothened Miaka's forehead, gazing lovingly at the sleeping form. At least he doesn't have to hide his feelings for now.
Miaka would have scolded him if he ever thought of her as that of a fragile glass --- she's anything but fragile --- why, she's about one of the most courageous girls he'd ever known and met. Hotohori mused at that. That was one of the characteristics that attracted him to Miaka. She's not the girly-girl type of female that gets to be pushed around follows whatever he says or makes her do just because he has the looks and power. Yet, despite all these, she's still able to retain that certain quality in her that makes her all the more captivating --- her innocence. Innocence in a way that sometimes you can call her ignorant but that just drives Hotohori to want to protect her the more. She almost seems to be so unreasonable when she wants to do something. It always seems stupid at first but as one gets to know what she's at, one will come to realize that she's doing this not for her own good but to save others, those close to her heart.
Like what she just did hours ago. Hotohori couldn't help but to question himself and wonder if Miaka would have done the same thing she did a while ago just to find him. I know that I'll never be as close to your heart as he is to you, Miaka. He bent his head and eyes closed, all the while clasping her hand with both hands. It's just that, you're the only girl --- woman --- I'd ever felt this way before and I can't just accept the fact that what feels so right can be oh so wrong. He grasped Miaka's hand tightly. I'm so sorry, Miaka. I just can't keep that promise I made to you. Tamahome's gone and --- Realizing what he just thought, he broke away and stood up, frustrated with himself. What am I thinking?! He took a deep breath to compose his troubled self. Deciding that it was best to leave for now, he began walking to the door, but not without one last lingering look at Miaka. He then walked towards the door.
"Hotohori…"
Hotohori's hand stopped just before he was bout to push the door and swiveled his head to her direction. He couldn't describe how his heart was beating so fast just to hear her utter his name. He waited breathlessly for any more but none came. Not quite sure if he's disappointed or not, Hotohori exited the room but not before he heard the faint voice saying, "…I'm sorry."
Author's Notes:
Ack!!! Here I go again. I know I've told you before that I'll go faster with the progress of the story. But I just can't help elaborating on their feelings and emotions. I hope that you're still hanging on there. Bear with me! We'll get to the climacteric point sooner or later. I just want to prolong the angst so that when the happy (??? Maybe, maybe not. Keep your fingers crossed, k?) ending come, a greater sense of joy can be felt (you get what I mean right? Sorry if I sound nonsensical *_*). And again, for the thousandth time (and I think I'll never get tired saying this), thank you for your reviews.
