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The Homicidal Maniac

By: Kiriska

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Chapter Five: Vengeful

Yamato

Hate, hate, hate, that IS all I felt. How often was it that musicians poured their real feelings into their music as I just did. I knew Taichi, Sora, and Koushirou had been at my concert. I'm glad they heard my hateful song. Maybe now they would leave me alone. What were they going to accomplish by telling me that everything's fine when it's not? They'd be lying. To me and themselves. Nothing would ever be the same again. Not now, not ever. TK is dead, gone, lost forever. And he would never come back. Maybe that didn't register in their heads.

I shoved my hands in my pockets, it was a cold night. The chilly night wind blew in my face, cutting at it. My parents had forced me out of the hospital this morning, making me go to school. Had it really been this morning? Seemed like an eternity. I didn't want to go to school, I didn't want to deal with people. Why couldn't I just stay with Takeru? Why? God, I was beginning to hate that word. Why?

Revenge, I must get revenge....who killed my brother? Who?! WHY?! Words formed for another song. Angry, fierce, portraying me perfectly. Pour thy soul into music....revenge....The music lessened the pain. The stinging, ugly, pain. It helped. At least, a little. I shuddered, realizing again how cold it was. Takeru's funeral was tomorrow. Friday. It would be around 5, after school. So I get to spend another day in that prison. With ignorant people. Sure, Takeru lived in a different town...I shook it off.

Pain...pain...the pain....I don't like the pain. I don't like being alone. But I was always alone. Alone, alone, alone. I could see my apartment, I didn't feel like going in. It was pretty dark now, the lights in the building didn't look welcoming. Where was TK now? Is he still in the hospital? Is he being packed away in a box now? I am. Cold. Empty. The pain. I don't like the pain. I stood under the lamp light in front of the apartment building. Why? Why are you gone, Takeru? Why?

Revenge. The word was comforting somehow. Kill...blood...pain...alone...words. Just words. They couldn't help me. Revenge. Sweet revenge. I would get it. Revenge //would// be mine..I suddenly felt dizzy, my head,...my brain...pain. I closed my eyes and instantly regreted it, my mind filled with visions of my brother's dead body...his frozen face, his bloody gashes...I opened my eyes. My body tingled with a needle-y feeling. I didn't like it. I spotted a bug running across the lamp post, without thinking I reach up and squish it. I felt a brief feeling of satisfaction. I wish that bug had been the killer...the murderer...of bastard who had killed TK. But it wasn't.

I can't. I'm sorry. I just can't. Am I suppose to forget? Not remember all the times we had fun? Forget all the times we were together. All those years spent. Am I supposed to? You can't answer me. You're not here. Where are you? I was angry suddenly.

Why did you leave me here, Takeru?! You didn't deserve to die! I don't deserve this pain! Oh...the pain.WHY!? Damn, I hate that word. I really do. But there's no other word. I'm ranting, in my head. I'm going insane. That's it. I'm going insane. Or is this normal? I don't know. WHY did you leave me, Takeru?!

I'm being selfish again. I don't care. You left me. Left me...left me....The words of my own song came back to me...My hands were numb. I decided to go inside at least. Deal with my dad's worry. I walked up the steps. The apartment building looked old, drabby. I saw bloodstains on the walls...fresh bloodstains....

I look closer. They were gone. You're seeing things, Yamato. Stop it. I keep walking. I notice the carpet was red. To hide spilled blood....I pass one of the apartment doors. The number was "777". Wasn't that the number to heaven? Are you in there, TK? Are you there? No. You left me. You're not here. I'm alone. Alone. Alone with the pain.

Kill...kill...kill...his killer..I'd become a killer myself. Don't care. Revenge. How was I suppose to accomplish this!? How the hell was I supposed to find out who it is!? How!? Fuck. I hate this shit. Fuck this shit. Fuck the pain. Man, I wanna kill myself. Join you, Takeru. I laugh bitterly. Maybe I should. There's nothing for me here. No. Selfish. Selfish. Stop being selfish. Stop it. Can I? I was never the stong one. That was Taichi. Crest of Courage. Yeah. That's Taichi. Not me. I'm not strong.

Crest of Friendship. That's me. Why? I'm not that socialable. I don't want to me. That's not me. That's not my crest. Fuck the crest. Takeru. Crest of Hope. Yeah, you held hope. Hope for me, hope for the others. But you're gone. No more hope. You are dead. Hope is dead. No hope.

Am I insane? Am I suicidal? Do I want to live? No point...you're not here. Who killed you, TK? Who? I'll find him...I'll find him for you, little brother. I'll kill him for you. I'm scaring myself. A nasty grin spread on my face. I was enjoying the thought of killing someone. I don't care. Revenge. A sweet thought. Revenge, ...... for you Takeru. I laugh again, I do scare myself. But I'm beyond caring now. I'm just vengeful. I open the door to my apartment. And close the door behind me.

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