Chapter 2.

(So anyway, my idea was to let Lego… Prince Legolas write this chapter and say what he wants to, so I guess I should put a disclaimer here and basically say anything he says wasn't my idea, don't sue me, oh and the opinions and beliefs stated by said elf should not be assumed to be the beliefs and or opinions of this writer. Thank you and without further ado, I give you Prince Legolas Greenleaf of Eryn Lasgalen (formally Mirkwood).

I suppose I should start by introducing my purpose for this piece of writing. Bear with me for I was never a poet or historian of renown and my words will surely fall short of there actual purpose. I greet you on behalf of all people's of Middle earth and on behalf of the firstborn, with whom you all seem very enamored.

We are neither a proud people nor one that boasts often of its attributes. But I am proud enough to not let any great injustice towards the firstborn go unchallenged. This will be my feeble attempt to reach to your hearts and plead with you on behalf of myself and on behalf of my people.

I have read many of your stories and am quite flattered by the widespread admiration held for me. However many of them insult me, and as a prince I really must protest to at least a few of them.

(Ok tone it down a bit Prince ok, I don't want to be flamed)

Flamed?

(Yes flamed, it's where people write really mean things and ya…)

It is a sad age indeed if the bravery and strength of men has indeed failed. I have known many men who would stand less for the reputation of one they barely knew.

(Uh huh, well I'm kinda shy; ok… just don't tick people off)

As I was saying, I really must protest a few of them starting with the questioned honor of my father Thranduil Greenleaf king of Eryn Lasgalen. Many fics on here have him as a cold, uncaring man. This I suppose could be the result of the widely acclaimed Hobbit's tale of Bilbo Baggins. My father locked up his companions and this must be the cause of such a perception of him however dwarves cannot always be trusted, and Bilbo was known to flavor the retellings of his stories. An example would be the many colored beards of the dwarves; in actuality none of them had abnormally colored hair.

I could understand such an observation if it stopped there, however it does not. Many, many stories have my father abusing me. I did not know the meaning of the word until Annabeth explained it to me. It seems you have my father unusually angry and taking it out on me in various ways. Annabeth assures me that this is because many readers are attracted to any angst situations and actually enjoy character torture, especially of me.

Now, I really must curb my temper for a moment. There my thoughts are clear, my father is of the best character and I assure you he has never raised a finger to me. Many of you explain his abusive behavior by telling that he is a drunkard, this is an insult to all elves. Men, dwarves, perhaps even Halflings but elves? We are immortal, is it plausible to conclude that we would waste an eternity using alcoholic beverages as a crutch? No it is not, and such talk is the evil of Morgoth, lies spawned by his dark mind.

(Ok now you really can't say that… no one on fanfic is possessed by Morgoth, and people are going to take it as an insult)

I must say what my honor requires of me.

(Don't look at me like that, I know some of this stuff is ridiculous, but again I don't want to be known as the really, mean, girl who likes to insult authors)

They can question my honor not yours. This is my writing from the depths of my heart. I will not talk further of my father, it hurts me deeply to see such lies told about him or for that matter any elf, we are not in the habit of abusing our own children.

Now I shall move on to the topic of angst which was mentioned earlier. Now I know you all admire elves strength and courage but to have us tortured especially for no apparent reason is ridiculous. To have me almost killed over and over and over again is preposterous. I have had some close calls but never have I been poisoned, frozen, stepped on by a troll and shot by a filthy yrch arrow all in the same night. I would have departed for Valinor by now if my lifestyle was so hazardous.

To top it off, I am sincerely sorry to hurt anyone's story plot, but I was never captured by orcs, period. I have been bitten by a Mirkwood spider more than once and have even attempted a swim across the Anduin but never have I been caught by orcs. I would be a nuisance to them, orcs would kill any captives and then digest them in their filthy way unless under specific orders from a higher authority. And again I am sorry to ruin any plot ideas but neither Sauron nor Saruman wanted the Prince of Mirkwood specifically.

(Um… could you hurry it up a bit… it's just that my favorite television show is on and I don't want to leave you here alone)

Television?

(Yes it's this box and it shows things…)

A palantir? In this world…

(No, no not a palantir… oh never mind just try and wrap it up)

I must finish the task I begin, I will not quit until then. If you are in need of the tele-vision than please go I will not hinder you.

(Never mind, but how about this, let's leave the rest of the disparage for the next chapter. You can watch the television with me and then we'll come back to the computer ok? That way you can think over what you want to say)

I do not think I should be distracted.

(We can watch the Lord of the Rings on the television after my show; you can see where the big Legolas craze came from     ok?)

I will watch this portrayal of the destruction of the ring… if only to be advantageous to my understanding of these people's minds.

(ok then, let's go)