~~~~~~~~********~~~~~~~~
I hardly slept at all that night, I was so mad at myself for not being truthful to Craig. What could I do? I couldn't do anything, even if I tried. I knew Craig, when he's upset or angry, you can't reason with him.
I was awake at six when my alarm clock went off for me to get ready for work. I showered, dressed and called the baby sitter. Sixteen year old, Jamie was happy to come over and baby-sit for me when I didn't want to bother Mom.
At work, I was out-of-it; I dropped Caitlin's papers four times. I messed when I was typing them seven times.
"Emma, why don't you just go talk to Craig?" Caitlin said to me.
"Because I know him, Caitlin, I took my chances on him forgiving me once. But I know he will not forgive me for cheating on him. That's just not like him," I said.
"He might, he cheated on Ashley with Manny remember? And its not like you meant to do it, you were waiting for Chris to come back so you could break up with him. I'm sure he will understand," Caitlin was trying desperately to help, but I couldn't figure out why.
"I'll give him time to cool off, but I know that Breanna will miss her father. Will you tell him that?" I asked.
"Yeah, I'll tell him."
~~~~~~~~*******~~~~~~~~
That night, my heart about jumped out of my skin when Craig stopped by.
"I just came by to see if Breanna could spend tonight and tomorrow with me," Craig said.
"Of.of course, she's your daughter. I'm not going to deny you the right of seeing her," I said.
"Funny, isn't that what you've been doing for four years?" He said bitterly.
His words shot at my heart like bullets, nearly bringing me to tears. "She's in the living room, why don't you go talk to her, while I get a bag ready for her?" I said, choking back my pain and my tears and putting my daughters' happiness first.
I walked up the stairs, thankful that my back was to him so he couldn't see the tears falling down my cheeks. I went into Breanna's room and grabbed her small Barbie duffel bag. I put a pair of pajamas with Mickey Mouse on them, a change of clothes, and her favorite bedtime story in the bag. I then grabbed Mr. Cuddles and headed downstairs.
"Here are her things, she likes to be read to right before bed and make sure she brushes her teeth and says her prayers," I said, handing the bag to Craig.
"Yeah, I will."
I knelt down to Breanna. "Here's Mr. Cuddles, I thought you might want to take him with you okay? I love you, be careful and buckle up remember?"
"Yes, Mommy. I love you too," she said.
I gave her a hug and a kiss and watched as she and Craig left.
I refused to sit there and wallow in self pity. So I went to see Mom.
I told her everything, by the time I was done, I was in tears.
"Oh, honey, I'm so sorry," she said.
"What am I going to do? He hates me," I said.
"Emma, he doesn't hate you," she told me.
"Okay, but still. He doesn't like me very much right now," I told her.
"Try talking to him," she said. "Sit him down, one on one and talk calmly."
"I'll try," I said. "How stupid am I? I should have told him the truth, now I'm on my own again," I laid my head on the table and let out a big sigh. On my own again.
I hardly slept at all that night, I was so mad at myself for not being truthful to Craig. What could I do? I couldn't do anything, even if I tried. I knew Craig, when he's upset or angry, you can't reason with him.
I was awake at six when my alarm clock went off for me to get ready for work. I showered, dressed and called the baby sitter. Sixteen year old, Jamie was happy to come over and baby-sit for me when I didn't want to bother Mom.
At work, I was out-of-it; I dropped Caitlin's papers four times. I messed when I was typing them seven times.
"Emma, why don't you just go talk to Craig?" Caitlin said to me.
"Because I know him, Caitlin, I took my chances on him forgiving me once. But I know he will not forgive me for cheating on him. That's just not like him," I said.
"He might, he cheated on Ashley with Manny remember? And its not like you meant to do it, you were waiting for Chris to come back so you could break up with him. I'm sure he will understand," Caitlin was trying desperately to help, but I couldn't figure out why.
"I'll give him time to cool off, but I know that Breanna will miss her father. Will you tell him that?" I asked.
"Yeah, I'll tell him."
~~~~~~~~*******~~~~~~~~
That night, my heart about jumped out of my skin when Craig stopped by.
"I just came by to see if Breanna could spend tonight and tomorrow with me," Craig said.
"Of.of course, she's your daughter. I'm not going to deny you the right of seeing her," I said.
"Funny, isn't that what you've been doing for four years?" He said bitterly.
His words shot at my heart like bullets, nearly bringing me to tears. "She's in the living room, why don't you go talk to her, while I get a bag ready for her?" I said, choking back my pain and my tears and putting my daughters' happiness first.
I walked up the stairs, thankful that my back was to him so he couldn't see the tears falling down my cheeks. I went into Breanna's room and grabbed her small Barbie duffel bag. I put a pair of pajamas with Mickey Mouse on them, a change of clothes, and her favorite bedtime story in the bag. I then grabbed Mr. Cuddles and headed downstairs.
"Here are her things, she likes to be read to right before bed and make sure she brushes her teeth and says her prayers," I said, handing the bag to Craig.
"Yeah, I will."
I knelt down to Breanna. "Here's Mr. Cuddles, I thought you might want to take him with you okay? I love you, be careful and buckle up remember?"
"Yes, Mommy. I love you too," she said.
I gave her a hug and a kiss and watched as she and Craig left.
I refused to sit there and wallow in self pity. So I went to see Mom.
I told her everything, by the time I was done, I was in tears.
"Oh, honey, I'm so sorry," she said.
"What am I going to do? He hates me," I said.
"Emma, he doesn't hate you," she told me.
"Okay, but still. He doesn't like me very much right now," I told her.
"Try talking to him," she said. "Sit him down, one on one and talk calmly."
"I'll try," I said. "How stupid am I? I should have told him the truth, now I'm on my own again," I laid my head on the table and let out a big sigh. On my own again.
