Hello. Err. This is the last time I post anything without checking to see if the format holds through, I'm so sorry about that to everybody, readers and especially archivers. I bet this little development played merry hell with you guys especially. The last edition of this chapter had some…teething problems, so I'm posting the new one up.
Yeah.
-Yeah.
-Okay, here we go.
Hallo. This is the author.
Disclaimer: not my characters. Warning: yaoi, swearing, odd tidbits of science. Muchas gracias to Andriod 71 for keeping such a close eye on the score, much appreciated.
I've never done song-fics or playwright style before except in accordance with the Blue Seeress, bear with me, yes?
~~~~~~
Songfic Style, With Slight Humorous Irony on the Side
There was a boy,
A very strange,
Enchanted boy
-Do you have any fucking idea what you did?
-Well, that is why I-
-Shut up and figure it out smart-ass. You're in puberty, changing, makes sense that your two chemistries are clashing with each other. The point of this changing is to have sex, you follow?
-Eh-
They say he wandered very far,
Very far,
Over land and sea
-Why do you think you killed the bitch? Because you were trying to hunt and mate her, and you killed her in the process.
-Don't talk about her like that!
-Sit down and shut up boy, you wanted to hear it, now take it!
-I don't care! Don't you dare talk about her like that, you don't have the right!
-Like hell I don't have the right, I have all the right I need. I never said it was going to be nice. Now sit down.
A little shy,
And sad of eye,
But very wise,
Was he
-Don't talk about her like that. It wasn't her fault; it wasn't her fault at all. It was mine. I…kil—hurt her. On accident. I didn't…Because—because I liked her?? You're not really…
-No kidding. Love sucks.
And then one day,
One magic day
He passed my way
-…So why are you helping me now? Why now, you never cared before, as long as I left you alone and gave you something to laugh about. Why don't you just leave like you did before…nothing can bring her back now. We already brought her back once with the Dragon Balls…we can't do it twice….You can quit sneering at me, you know. I've got the idea.
And while we spoke
of many things
-Boy.
-Go away.
Fools and kings
-Hn. You think I enjoy listening to you prove your ignorance? You're still changing. It won't end now, even if your original prospect is gone. You've made sure of that.
-Dad never went through this…
-Kakkarott got his mate early. If you would call that harpy a mate. There wasn't need.
-You never went through this.
-Hn. How would you know?
-…
This he said to me
-Your body still demands a chosen.
-I don't want anyone else. I won't hurt anyone else.
-So what? Who cares what you want? Your body's in charge, you're just along for the ride.
-I don't care what it wants, I'm me and I'm in control. And I say no.
-Nh, if you're going to whine…think of it as, extreme growing pains, or whatever ningen excuse you want.
-Saiyan growing pains.
-Don't you even dare whelp, you don't even realize how damn lucky you are. You never bitched about being Saiyan when it saved your life brat. So shut up for once, if you can get that through your skull.
-You sound like my mother.
The greatest thing,
You'll ever learn
-…Your body has already made arrangements. It doesn't give a damn about what you want. You're really not that important right now. It's chosen another, one eventually you'll hunt and try to claim—permanently.
-You make it sound like I'm at war…And what do you mean, 'chosen another'? I don't love anybody else like that, I just loved her! I won't kill anybody else, not for this, it's not worth it, and nothing on earth or otherwise can make me. There isn't anybody else, and there won't be anyone else! I loved her.
-Are you always this stupid or is today special? Your body has already found another, it's been done!
-How would you know?
Is just,
to love
-Because it's me, bitch.
And be loved-
-WHAT!!
In,
Return
-And I'll blast your fucking head off before I let you touch me!
-But you're a guy!
-No shit, ass hole.
-I can't—You can't—It's not really—What?!?
-Idiot.
~~~~~~
Short Playwright Style
Gohan: But I don't love you!
Vegeta: Good.
Gohan: But, but—Vegeta-san, you can't leave it like this!
Vegeta: Of course I could; it's your problem, not mine.
Gohan: But, but, but if you're a part of it too, like you said, I chose—you can't really do nothing!
Vegeta: Who said I was going to?
Gohan: You've got a plan?!
Vegeta: Hn. Of course.
Gohan: What is it?!
~~~~~
Intermission: General Birds and the Bees Lecture with Alien Savage and Erotic Changes
~~~~
Mutated Screenplay Style
Gohan: Wait a sec, how do I know you're telling the truth? You could be making this whole thing up for all I know.
The older man gives him a Look, The Spawn of Kakkarott Look, and pulls down the neck of his bodysuit to the shoulder. There is a green-plum colored bruise with indents in two semi-circles.
It was, quite possibly, the greatest insult the older man had given the younger in the past two days.
The younger man's jaw drops comically, the look of horror and shame on his face palpable.
Gohan: But, but, you're a guy!
Vegeta(mutters): Bloody hell…
Vegeta rolls his neck and massages the bridge of his nose. He freezes when he realizes whom the gesture is from. The boy.
Vegeta: No fuck kid.
Gohan: But if the point of, of, of heat is to ah, um, sex, than reasonably it's for reproduction and since we're both males then offspring isn't viable…Isn't it?
The older man says nothing.
Gohan: Vegeta-san?
Silence.
The older man seems no more pissed than usual, just superbly in wonder at the complete stupidity of his companion, and the boy catches a fragment of irritation and impatience, and takes that for a negative.
Gohan: And I don't see why I would choose you-
Vegeta: I'm not the one whose dick has a free lease on him, but you can stay that way if you want half-breed.
Gohan: No, no I didn't mean—Gomen nasai Vegeta-san, it's just that I can't figure out why I picked you specifically, I mean you're um, handsome and striking and everything—
The boy blushes and rubs the back of his neck.
The man's lips curl up and he looks beseeching for any distraction other than the sight before him.
Gohan: But you're a guy. Very much so. And so am I. Too. And, you're married. Kind of. More than I am, anyway. And I've never been, um, physically attracted to males before, and it would be logical to think I would look for another girl first, even if there were a chance she might not be strong enough for, uh, biological purposes, shall we say? It's not like there would be much point in a male—um, liaison anyway, right? I mean that if---but I was mad at you.
The boy pauses, rethinks, and looks up at the elder, meets his eyes openly, even a little accusingly.
Gohan: I was, wasn't I? I was furious. Yeah, I mean that never…You had me that angry, and that doesn't happen very often.
The boy pauses, scrutinizes his memories and emotions for the first time, analyzing and scooping through his soul a lot deeper than he's usually has to or wants to.
Gohan: I was…I was going to kill you, when I caught you. I remember, I remember thinking that, how it would make everything…Ok. But then—
The boy's eyes unfocused, and he continues to talk while thinking.
Gohan: What? What then? I guess, then…we started fighting…You were strong. Almost as strong as I was. You, you challenged and that didn't happen…Tallying the facts, we're both nearly Saiyan, and the main point is off spring… with the Saiyan obsession with strength only a mate who was never equal or greater in strength could guarantee that the next generation would carry on the genes like lions do—Evolution by natural selection, Darwinism in the making. And none of the girls, no human female would be strong enough to really challenge me, not competently. I mean like you said my blood is mixed but it makes—Dende. I did choose you. And not Videl because she wasn't strong enough. That was the point of the hunt, that was why I killed her, because of—many predators kill off the weak of their race, lions a prime example, even eat their cubs or the cubs of other males at times to ensure their own survival and superiority and keep the gene pool efficient, take their territory—
Vegeta: You have to make it sound like some damn ningen textbook, don't you?
Gohan: Huh?
Vegeta: So you did mean it.
Gohan: What?
Vegeta: The mark. The mark that you tried to claim me by, a Saiyan Prince, brat, what the hell makes you think you can pull it off.
Gohan: Well? What makes you think I haven't?
The boy's voice is serious, his eyes steady, words deliberately blunt. He's completely sincere.
The older man falters a second, but recovers quickly.
Vegeta: Like hell you have, brat! I told you I'd break your neck before-
Gohan: I don't want to.
Vegeta: Liar! If you didn't mean it you wouldn't have come after at all.
Gohan: You made me angry. That doesn't happen very often. That's really something, so it caused a fraction in judgment Vegeta-san. And I didn't know what I was doing.
Vegeta: Really.
Gohan: Yes. Really.
Vegeta: Did it damn fine for someone who didn't know what he was doing.
Gohan: Thanks.
~~~~~~~~~~~
Dialogue Style
-The chemicals are messing with your head, so if you get drugged up enough for a long enough time you won't feel the effect, and if you do then you'll be too far away to maim anything intelligent. I would stick you with your father, but the fact that he's pure Saiyan would also affect you.
-You're going to drug me?
-What did you think I was going to do, listen to you babble until you passed out?
-No, but I didn't think you were going to drug me. What is it?
-Something the woman gave me.
-You told her?
-If I did?
-I-but-What did she say?
-I didn't tell her.
-Oh, good…Then you shouldn't have led me on like that; it wouldn't kill you not to be a jerk all the time.
-Damned if I change it for your benefit…Hn, you look like a fucking Ningen Christmas tree, the way you blush.
-No I don't. I don't have any green pigmentation.
-…They would have torn you apart on Vegeta-sei.
-I don't believe so.
-You show your feelings far too easy.
-I think I would've torn them up first.
-You'll be stranded in the Artic, away from people, animals…the machines you get such a thrill out of molesting…and me, which is most important. You'll have food and housing in capsules.
-Will you be there?
-No.
-Can I come see you?
-No. That's the point, to keep you away from me.
-Oh. Are you going to come see me sometimes? To check if the pills are taking effect?
-No.
-Oh. What about-
-Understand, boy. If you come back early, I'm going to kill you. I don't want you close to me, I don't want you anywhere near the same vicinity I am.
-But, I'm not going to-
-Fuck me?
-No! No, nothing like that, I just don't want to--be alone, I guess.
-You want a security blanket and bottle while you're up there?
-No.
-…
-…
-But, I guess that's the point right? To be alone. And it's only for a little time, a couple of years tops, and I could probably get some serious training in. The Artic should be good for that…But I guess since I'm a Christmas tree sometimes I'll blend right in, right?
-…
-And um, yeah…anyway, I'll get over it eventually, and it'll be over and nobody else will get hurt, and I'll be alone and it'll be cold and you'll be here and safe and warm and everything will be fine. And then things can go back to being the way they were. Normal, right?
-…Whatever.
-So I'll get ready. Oh, and I wanted to thank you Vegeta-san, for everything. I mean, you really didn't have to, and I know you really didn't want to, but you did and that's what's counts, so, yeah. Thank you. I really, really owe you big for this.
-Hn.
~~~~~~~
