Note: Ok so I wrote this chapter in about ten minutes. It's not too good,
but hey nobody said it would be perfect.
Thank you to the people who reviewed chapter 1!!!!!! THANK YOU!!!!!!
And a special shout to JESS! Who is technically the co -writer. K, that's
about it so read on then.
****
*In Fangorn forest it's raining and in a small clearing a hobbit is sitting on a slippery log which he keeps falling off, getting very wet.*
* He sighs *
Natalie: This is really depressing.
*Sighs again and wraps her cloak tighter over her head even though it's not helping at all to keep out the rain.
Natalie: I'm sitting in the pouring rain in really uncomfortable clothes on a slippery log which I have fallen off twice, I can't feel my feet which, may I add are HUGE, my nose is going to drop off soon and, to add to the humiliation of it all I'M 3FT TALL!!
*She falls off the log again*
Natalie: THIS IS NOT FAIR!!!!!!!
* Rubs her nose to try an massage some life into it *
Natalie: When I get my hands on that god damned Caroline, I am going to get very, very angry!
* Realises that she is 3ft tall and has no hop in hell of beating up any of her friends no matter what shape they are in *
Natalie: GRR!!!!!!!!!!!
* A torrent of rainwater falls on her head drenching her from head to toe *
Natalie: *sniff*
****
Caroline: I'm so hot! I'm so hot! I'm so hot! I'm so hot!
* Legolas is dancing around the room still in his green leaf pattern boxers*
Caroline: I'm amazing! I'm amazing! I'm amazing!
* Sees the rest of her clothes lying on a chair next to her bed *
Caroline: Cool!
* Runs over and leafs through the many articles and green and brown clothing, only occasionally pausing to admire herself in shiny piece of armour *
Caroline: Wow! A bow and arrow! Cool!
* She picks up the weapon and, some how manages to load the bow.*
Caroline: *whilst staring at her reflection in the mirror* I look cool! I look cool! I look cool! * starts posing*
* Of course as Legolas is too busy to realise the tension she is putting on the bowstring and due to physics that no one understand somehow the string snaps*
Caroline: OH SHIT!!!!!
* The arrow ricochets of various obstacles, smashed vases, breaks mirrors and ends up deeply imbedded next to Legolas's ear*
Caroline: * Quiet whisper * Oh shit.. * and he faints*
***
*Gandalf, I mean Jess I mean well the person now in the form of a wizard looks around enchanted she is sitting with a computer in front of her enamoured by the funny stories on fanfic, she/he sighs contentedly swings his/her legs and starts singing super sadist by Jack off Jill.*
*Suddenly overcome by inspiration she grabs her staff and two big speakers and a hi-fi falls out the sky blaring out Jack off Jill. Several smaller thumps follow it the muse album falls from the sky followed by Evanescence, Red Hot Chili Pepper and 12 Stones. The person in wizard form beams zaps in a cup of coffee and gets back to reading those funny Lord of the Rings fanfics and it still doesn't click. In the distance mount doom explodes *
Jess/Gandalf: Hey! Someone's having fireworks!
*Starts humming insanely*
Jess: Hum, hum hum.
* Mount Doom starts to spew molten rock*
Jess: God! You'd think people would realise bonfire night was two weeks ago!
* Lava starts to flow dangerously close to him/her*
Jess: It's getting hot isn't it?
* So we leave Gandalf about to be engulfed in a river of molten rock and ash, whilst singing her favourite songs and swinging his/her legs innocently. Oh dear, oh dear oh dear.*
***
* Gimli is laying spread eagled on a small platform staring blankly up at the bridge he has just fallen off. Despite fallen almost 100ft he has some how managed to survive and remain holding his axe *
Louisa: Jesus. that was strange.
* Thinks to herself for a moment checking she still has all her limbs*
Louisa: Wow.LET'S DO IT AGAIN!!!!!!
* She jumps up and straightens her armour which clinks as she moves *
* Holding the axe high over her head she takes a deep breathe and plunges into the depth of Moria, in pursuit of adventure, her friends and, for some unknown reason, hockey sticks. * shrugs* Ah well ours is no to reason why.*
***
Ashley: So then we went to Disney and it was like WOW! And then we saw all the Princess and I was like WOW!!!! And then we went and I brought fairy wings, and I was like WOW!!!!!!! Elrond? Elrond? Are you listening?
* The Elvin King was staring into space, his eyes wide with horror. For three and a half hours he had been subjected to Ashley's account of her trips to Disney Land, and her constant need for people's compliments. After one minute he had been reduced to a state of mind normally only achieved by jelly*
* And he still hadn't found out who pushed the button*
Ashley: SO.then she said the Jess said that I said that Louisa said that Caroline said that Josh was fit and I was like NO WAY!! And she said that Emily said that Siobhan said that Jenny said like totally the same. So I was like OMG! And she was like OMG that is what Alissa said that Charlotte said that Fiona said that I would say. Isn't that like totally a coincidence?
* Elrond's eyes flicker*
Elrond: Please stop talking.
Ashley: NO! So anyway, I said that Natalie said that Fiona said that Sophie so shouldn't have worn those boots to the social and she like totally agreed so.
* Elrond turned back to counting the particles of dust in the air, his I.Q dropping slowly as every minute passed*
Ashley: So anyway, don't you just love this dress, it's so my colour, but those robes you're wearing I mean EWWW!!!!!! Elrond: What's wrong with my robes?
Ashley: I mean no offence but they are seriously ugly. Why don't you try something in pink? Where's your room? I'm sure you must have something pink.
* Elrond eyes almost pop*
Elrond: W-what?!? N-no!
* But Ashley is already walking out of the door and down the corridor past bemused elves*
Elrond: ASHLEY NOOO!!!!!!
***
In Caroline's attic the big red button shakes. Suddenly it is sucked into the wall and in its place is a huge swirling vortex. If you lean close enough you can hear the screams of two elves, a ring wraith, a dwarf, a wizard and a hobbit. If you lean even closer you can also here the laughter of one Dark Lord.
***
Stay tuned for Chapter 3, and more confusion and intrigue. Please Review!! K, bye for now!!!!
****
*In Fangorn forest it's raining and in a small clearing a hobbit is sitting on a slippery log which he keeps falling off, getting very wet.*
* He sighs *
Natalie: This is really depressing.
*Sighs again and wraps her cloak tighter over her head even though it's not helping at all to keep out the rain.
Natalie: I'm sitting in the pouring rain in really uncomfortable clothes on a slippery log which I have fallen off twice, I can't feel my feet which, may I add are HUGE, my nose is going to drop off soon and, to add to the humiliation of it all I'M 3FT TALL!!
*She falls off the log again*
Natalie: THIS IS NOT FAIR!!!!!!!
* Rubs her nose to try an massage some life into it *
Natalie: When I get my hands on that god damned Caroline, I am going to get very, very angry!
* Realises that she is 3ft tall and has no hop in hell of beating up any of her friends no matter what shape they are in *
Natalie: GRR!!!!!!!!!!!
* A torrent of rainwater falls on her head drenching her from head to toe *
Natalie: *sniff*
****
Caroline: I'm so hot! I'm so hot! I'm so hot! I'm so hot!
* Legolas is dancing around the room still in his green leaf pattern boxers*
Caroline: I'm amazing! I'm amazing! I'm amazing!
* Sees the rest of her clothes lying on a chair next to her bed *
Caroline: Cool!
* Runs over and leafs through the many articles and green and brown clothing, only occasionally pausing to admire herself in shiny piece of armour *
Caroline: Wow! A bow and arrow! Cool!
* She picks up the weapon and, some how manages to load the bow.*
Caroline: *whilst staring at her reflection in the mirror* I look cool! I look cool! I look cool! * starts posing*
* Of course as Legolas is too busy to realise the tension she is putting on the bowstring and due to physics that no one understand somehow the string snaps*
Caroline: OH SHIT!!!!!
* The arrow ricochets of various obstacles, smashed vases, breaks mirrors and ends up deeply imbedded next to Legolas's ear*
Caroline: * Quiet whisper * Oh shit.. * and he faints*
***
*Gandalf, I mean Jess I mean well the person now in the form of a wizard looks around enchanted she is sitting with a computer in front of her enamoured by the funny stories on fanfic, she/he sighs contentedly swings his/her legs and starts singing super sadist by Jack off Jill.*
*Suddenly overcome by inspiration she grabs her staff and two big speakers and a hi-fi falls out the sky blaring out Jack off Jill. Several smaller thumps follow it the muse album falls from the sky followed by Evanescence, Red Hot Chili Pepper and 12 Stones. The person in wizard form beams zaps in a cup of coffee and gets back to reading those funny Lord of the Rings fanfics and it still doesn't click. In the distance mount doom explodes *
Jess/Gandalf: Hey! Someone's having fireworks!
*Starts humming insanely*
Jess: Hum, hum hum.
* Mount Doom starts to spew molten rock*
Jess: God! You'd think people would realise bonfire night was two weeks ago!
* Lava starts to flow dangerously close to him/her*
Jess: It's getting hot isn't it?
* So we leave Gandalf about to be engulfed in a river of molten rock and ash, whilst singing her favourite songs and swinging his/her legs innocently. Oh dear, oh dear oh dear.*
***
* Gimli is laying spread eagled on a small platform staring blankly up at the bridge he has just fallen off. Despite fallen almost 100ft he has some how managed to survive and remain holding his axe *
Louisa: Jesus. that was strange.
* Thinks to herself for a moment checking she still has all her limbs*
Louisa: Wow.LET'S DO IT AGAIN!!!!!!
* She jumps up and straightens her armour which clinks as she moves *
* Holding the axe high over her head she takes a deep breathe and plunges into the depth of Moria, in pursuit of adventure, her friends and, for some unknown reason, hockey sticks. * shrugs* Ah well ours is no to reason why.*
***
Ashley: So then we went to Disney and it was like WOW! And then we saw all the Princess and I was like WOW!!!! And then we went and I brought fairy wings, and I was like WOW!!!!!!! Elrond? Elrond? Are you listening?
* The Elvin King was staring into space, his eyes wide with horror. For three and a half hours he had been subjected to Ashley's account of her trips to Disney Land, and her constant need for people's compliments. After one minute he had been reduced to a state of mind normally only achieved by jelly*
* And he still hadn't found out who pushed the button*
Ashley: SO.then she said the Jess said that I said that Louisa said that Caroline said that Josh was fit and I was like NO WAY!! And she said that Emily said that Siobhan said that Jenny said like totally the same. So I was like OMG! And she was like OMG that is what Alissa said that Charlotte said that Fiona said that I would say. Isn't that like totally a coincidence?
* Elrond's eyes flicker*
Elrond: Please stop talking.
Ashley: NO! So anyway, I said that Natalie said that Fiona said that Sophie so shouldn't have worn those boots to the social and she like totally agreed so.
* Elrond turned back to counting the particles of dust in the air, his I.Q dropping slowly as every minute passed*
Ashley: So anyway, don't you just love this dress, it's so my colour, but those robes you're wearing I mean EWWW!!!!!! Elrond: What's wrong with my robes?
Ashley: I mean no offence but they are seriously ugly. Why don't you try something in pink? Where's your room? I'm sure you must have something pink.
* Elrond eyes almost pop*
Elrond: W-what?!? N-no!
* But Ashley is already walking out of the door and down the corridor past bemused elves*
Elrond: ASHLEY NOOO!!!!!!
***
In Caroline's attic the big red button shakes. Suddenly it is sucked into the wall and in its place is a huge swirling vortex. If you lean close enough you can hear the screams of two elves, a ring wraith, a dwarf, a wizard and a hobbit. If you lean even closer you can also here the laughter of one Dark Lord.
***
Stay tuned for Chapter 3, and more confusion and intrigue. Please Review!! K, bye for now!!!!
