Caroline's House 1100 hours and a bit
* Five girls are standing in the attic staring opened mouthed at each other *
Caroline: Who are you?
* Louisa looks puzzled *
Louisa: Who the hell are you?
Caroline: Legolas Greenleaf, Prince of the Woodland Realm. What have you fiends done with my friends?
* Ashley's mouths drops*
Ashley: L-Legolas! B-but you not Legolas, you're a girl!
* Caroline looks at herself*
Caroline/Legolas: O_O
*Natalie tugs at Jess's top*
Jess: Yes young human?
Natalie: What do you mean human. I'm Frodo, as in the ring bearer as in HOBBIT!
*Also looks at herself*
Natalie/Frodo: Eep!!!!!
* The party all glance at them selves and it suddenly dawns on Legolas, Arwen, Gimli, Frodo and Gandalf that they're not in Middle Earth any more*
All: Oh dear. . .
Jess/Gandalf: Oh my God! I am wearing a bra! I think I may need to lie down.
* Gimli strokes his chin. Looks puzzled for a moment then screams *
Louisa/Gimli: OH. MY. GOD! I Don't Have A Beard!
*sighs depressed and sit down*
Frodo: *squeaks adorably*
Gimli: Or my axe.
Frodo: O_O
* The sorta Fellowship turn on him/her*
Gimli: Kidding, kidding. Jeez chill out a little.
* They all look at themselves again. The normally short Gimli has turned into a middle height, blond/brown haired girl wearing jeans and a hockey shirt; the lovely Legolas has lost his long white hair and is wearing a stripy top with cords, and is defiantly not the most good-looking elf in the world; Arwen is no longer the raven haired enchantress she once was, she's been transformed it a blonde bimbo with a permanent smile; Gandalf, as well as wearing a bra is wearing black, black and more black as is Frodo. But Frodo has noticed something else.*
Frodo: This isn't fair!
Arwen: What?
Frodo: I'M STILL THE SHOREST!!!!!!
*Laughter echoes around as Gimli pats him on the head and Frodo squeaks once again*
Arwen: So why are we here?
*The laughter stops and they all shrug*
Ashley: Oh . . . fine.
* She sits down and starts humming something in elfish no one understands *
Jess/Gandalf: * Stares at Ashley then turns back to the others* I think I know what has happened . . . the Big Red Button has been pressed. * Dramatic pause*
*Silence*
Gandalf: The Big Red Button has been pressed! * Dramatic pause*
* More Silence*
Gandalf: Are you telling me that none of you have ever heard of the Bid Red Button?
All: *Nod*
Gandalf: *Shakes head pitilessly* Well, basically it's this-
* A chainsaw roars behind them*
Michael/Sauron: Do any of you know what this thing is?
All: O_O
Sauron: I thought not.* looks hard at the buzzing blade* It looks very sharp . . .
* The half Fellowship exchange glances *
Simran/Ringwraith: SCREEE- Hey I can talk . . . WOW! Yo Saury baby, whazzup?
All including Sauron: O_o
Frodo: RUN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
* They storm through the door, chased by the Dark Lord and the Ringwraith and end up in Michael's room. *
* Gimli presses himself on the door before Legolas and Gandalf pile various chairs, mattress and desks onto.*
Gandalf: * Dusts his hands* I'd like to see him get through that-
* The chainsaw rips through the door*
Gandalf: NO I DON'T! I TAKE IT BACK! I DON'T WANT TO SEE!
* Runs behind Legolas*
Gandalf: I'M TOO YOUNG TO DIE!
Legolas: Erm . . . Gandalf? I hate to break it too you but you're older than me . . . and I'm 7000, or at least I was. . .
* Gandalf looks bemused for a moment then starts screaming again *
Gandalf: I'M TOO GOOD LOOKING TO DIE!
* Gimli and Frodo sigh *
* Legolas, being the annoyingly cool headed elf looks around the room *
Legolas: I know! Get in the cupboard. He'll never find us in there!
* Frodo looks at Gimli with a pained expression *
Frodo: Legolas. This is the all powerful Dark Lord we're talking about. I think he will look the in cupboard.
Gimli: *Shrugs* I'm with the elf.
Frodo: What?
Gandalf: Yeah, that sounds like a good idea.
Frodo: * waves arms around frantically * Mad! Mad the lot of you!
* So ignoring Frodo the others open the cupboard and reveal . . .*
Legolas: What form of weaponry is this? * holds up a rifle and looks down the barrel* we truly are in a strange world.
Gimli: *pulls out a huge sub-machine gun* Not exactly and axe but, hey whose complaining.
* They start flinging them around like swords*
Frodo: *picks up a shotgun and inspects the trigger. He starts to fiddle with it* Guys?
All: hmmm?
Frodo: *let's the safety catch fall back* what are these things?
*the inquisitive hobbit unwillingly pulls the trigger blowing a hole in the wall next to Gimli's head*
All: WOW!
*As the smoke clears they see that Frodo's shot as blown a hole through the wall and into the next room, a girl's room . . .*
Gandalf: This is interesting. *Picks up a small ornament* Very interesting.
*The five explore this new room, still armed with the rifles, shotguns and machine guns from Michael's bedroom. Frodo starts bouncing on the bed, and ends up breaking it; Gimli looks through the cupboards, occasionally trying things on as is Arwen, but rather than trying them on herself she is complaining about the distinct lack of pink and fluff in the wardrobe. Gandalf is looking through the stack of books on the window sill, most of which seem to belong to different people who have loaned them to Caroline and never got them back (I am still waiting.) But Legolas, well Legolas is in a state of shock. He has found what looks like a shrine to . . .
Legolas: Me!
* He examines the pictures closely, trying to recall when he ever wore various items of clothing and why he seemed only to have his blond hair in only a few of the posters. He leans closer to one picture, then jumps away horrified*
Arwen: What's wrong?
Legolas:* Babbling like an idiot* He's . . . I never . . . I'm not . . . When did . . . *points at a picture on the wall* WHO THE HELL IS HE!?!?
Arwen: *Looks critically at the poster* Pirates of the Cari-Bean. They're Pirates Legolas, of some place called the Cari-Bean. *Looks closer* Hey, why do you have your arm around that guys shoulder, and when did you dye your hair?
*Legolas bursts into tears*
Arwen: Hold on, that's means that . . . Ew! That's gross Legolas!
* Legolas bangs his, well at least Caroline's head against the wall*
Legolas: What kind of a sick and twisted place is this?
*Arwen pats him on the shoulder*
Arwen silently to Gandalf: I knew he was gay!
*Gandalf nods and smiles knowingly*
*Suddenly chainsaw sounds emerge from behind the door and.....*
Sauron: Hello ladies. *the chainsaw whirs*
All: *gulp*
***
And that it. The end of chapter three! Stay tuned for more.
* Five girls are standing in the attic staring opened mouthed at each other *
Caroline: Who are you?
* Louisa looks puzzled *
Louisa: Who the hell are you?
Caroline: Legolas Greenleaf, Prince of the Woodland Realm. What have you fiends done with my friends?
* Ashley's mouths drops*
Ashley: L-Legolas! B-but you not Legolas, you're a girl!
* Caroline looks at herself*
Caroline/Legolas: O_O
*Natalie tugs at Jess's top*
Jess: Yes young human?
Natalie: What do you mean human. I'm Frodo, as in the ring bearer as in HOBBIT!
*Also looks at herself*
Natalie/Frodo: Eep!!!!!
* The party all glance at them selves and it suddenly dawns on Legolas, Arwen, Gimli, Frodo and Gandalf that they're not in Middle Earth any more*
All: Oh dear. . .
Jess/Gandalf: Oh my God! I am wearing a bra! I think I may need to lie down.
* Gimli strokes his chin. Looks puzzled for a moment then screams *
Louisa/Gimli: OH. MY. GOD! I Don't Have A Beard!
*sighs depressed and sit down*
Frodo: *squeaks adorably*
Gimli: Or my axe.
Frodo: O_O
* The sorta Fellowship turn on him/her*
Gimli: Kidding, kidding. Jeez chill out a little.
* They all look at themselves again. The normally short Gimli has turned into a middle height, blond/brown haired girl wearing jeans and a hockey shirt; the lovely Legolas has lost his long white hair and is wearing a stripy top with cords, and is defiantly not the most good-looking elf in the world; Arwen is no longer the raven haired enchantress she once was, she's been transformed it a blonde bimbo with a permanent smile; Gandalf, as well as wearing a bra is wearing black, black and more black as is Frodo. But Frodo has noticed something else.*
Frodo: This isn't fair!
Arwen: What?
Frodo: I'M STILL THE SHOREST!!!!!!
*Laughter echoes around as Gimli pats him on the head and Frodo squeaks once again*
Arwen: So why are we here?
*The laughter stops and they all shrug*
Ashley: Oh . . . fine.
* She sits down and starts humming something in elfish no one understands *
Jess/Gandalf: * Stares at Ashley then turns back to the others* I think I know what has happened . . . the Big Red Button has been pressed. * Dramatic pause*
*Silence*
Gandalf: The Big Red Button has been pressed! * Dramatic pause*
* More Silence*
Gandalf: Are you telling me that none of you have ever heard of the Bid Red Button?
All: *Nod*
Gandalf: *Shakes head pitilessly* Well, basically it's this-
* A chainsaw roars behind them*
Michael/Sauron: Do any of you know what this thing is?
All: O_O
Sauron: I thought not.* looks hard at the buzzing blade* It looks very sharp . . .
* The half Fellowship exchange glances *
Simran/Ringwraith: SCREEE- Hey I can talk . . . WOW! Yo Saury baby, whazzup?
All including Sauron: O_o
Frodo: RUN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
* They storm through the door, chased by the Dark Lord and the Ringwraith and end up in Michael's room. *
* Gimli presses himself on the door before Legolas and Gandalf pile various chairs, mattress and desks onto.*
Gandalf: * Dusts his hands* I'd like to see him get through that-
* The chainsaw rips through the door*
Gandalf: NO I DON'T! I TAKE IT BACK! I DON'T WANT TO SEE!
* Runs behind Legolas*
Gandalf: I'M TOO YOUNG TO DIE!
Legolas: Erm . . . Gandalf? I hate to break it too you but you're older than me . . . and I'm 7000, or at least I was. . .
* Gandalf looks bemused for a moment then starts screaming again *
Gandalf: I'M TOO GOOD LOOKING TO DIE!
* Gimli and Frodo sigh *
* Legolas, being the annoyingly cool headed elf looks around the room *
Legolas: I know! Get in the cupboard. He'll never find us in there!
* Frodo looks at Gimli with a pained expression *
Frodo: Legolas. This is the all powerful Dark Lord we're talking about. I think he will look the in cupboard.
Gimli: *Shrugs* I'm with the elf.
Frodo: What?
Gandalf: Yeah, that sounds like a good idea.
Frodo: * waves arms around frantically * Mad! Mad the lot of you!
* So ignoring Frodo the others open the cupboard and reveal . . .*
Legolas: What form of weaponry is this? * holds up a rifle and looks down the barrel* we truly are in a strange world.
Gimli: *pulls out a huge sub-machine gun* Not exactly and axe but, hey whose complaining.
* They start flinging them around like swords*
Frodo: *picks up a shotgun and inspects the trigger. He starts to fiddle with it* Guys?
All: hmmm?
Frodo: *let's the safety catch fall back* what are these things?
*the inquisitive hobbit unwillingly pulls the trigger blowing a hole in the wall next to Gimli's head*
All: WOW!
*As the smoke clears they see that Frodo's shot as blown a hole through the wall and into the next room, a girl's room . . .*
Gandalf: This is interesting. *Picks up a small ornament* Very interesting.
*The five explore this new room, still armed with the rifles, shotguns and machine guns from Michael's bedroom. Frodo starts bouncing on the bed, and ends up breaking it; Gimli looks through the cupboards, occasionally trying things on as is Arwen, but rather than trying them on herself she is complaining about the distinct lack of pink and fluff in the wardrobe. Gandalf is looking through the stack of books on the window sill, most of which seem to belong to different people who have loaned them to Caroline and never got them back (I am still waiting.) But Legolas, well Legolas is in a state of shock. He has found what looks like a shrine to . . .
Legolas: Me!
* He examines the pictures closely, trying to recall when he ever wore various items of clothing and why he seemed only to have his blond hair in only a few of the posters. He leans closer to one picture, then jumps away horrified*
Arwen: What's wrong?
Legolas:* Babbling like an idiot* He's . . . I never . . . I'm not . . . When did . . . *points at a picture on the wall* WHO THE HELL IS HE!?!?
Arwen: *Looks critically at the poster* Pirates of the Cari-Bean. They're Pirates Legolas, of some place called the Cari-Bean. *Looks closer* Hey, why do you have your arm around that guys shoulder, and when did you dye your hair?
*Legolas bursts into tears*
Arwen: Hold on, that's means that . . . Ew! That's gross Legolas!
* Legolas bangs his, well at least Caroline's head against the wall*
Legolas: What kind of a sick and twisted place is this?
*Arwen pats him on the shoulder*
Arwen silently to Gandalf: I knew he was gay!
*Gandalf nods and smiles knowingly*
*Suddenly chainsaw sounds emerge from behind the door and.....*
Sauron: Hello ladies. *the chainsaw whirs*
All: *gulp*
***
And that it. The end of chapter three! Stay tuned for more.
