Disclaimer: I don't own Harvest Moon.

NOTE: The festivals I'm writing about aren't in order.

Jack the Mental Retard

Dear Diary,

Guess who's writing to you! Me! That's right! Today was the day of the cow festival. I entered my cow Mimi in the contest this year, so I was hoping I would win today. I went to the barn to feed my other cows and sheep, but when I got there, Mimi wasn't there! I was worried. And y'know what calms me down when I'm worried? Milk! So I went back to the house and opened the refrigerator, and there wasn't any milk there! I went back to the barn and milked another cow named Kaci, and drank the milk right after I milked her. Then, for some reason, I started spazing on the floor from all the bacteria in the milk. I wonder why?

Meanwhile...

Ann's Dad: Where's Jack? I told him that if he was going to enter his cow, he had to come or else Mimi wouldn't behave!

Moooooo! Mimi pulled out the sickle that she had hidden in her mouth the whole time, and began to run around wildly, trying to KILLL!

Ann's Dad: So that's why the mouth looked horribly disfigured!

Back at the farm..

I finally stopped spazing ( if anybody knows how to spell spazing, tell me! ) and went to the cow festival. Mimi seemed to going insane again, so I just stood there like the mental retard I am, and watched my cow attempt to massacre everybody in sight. She finally stopped, and threw away the sickle. I walked up to Ann's Dad and asked, " did I win?" he just stood there like I was a mental retard, ( which I am! ) and passed out. I wonder why?