Warning: This fiction was created by the twisted minds of Pepe Lepew and Kinky Typo. Both of these writers have been notified as highly insane and their stories have been labeled as "outrageously hilarious" and "highly idiotic."

Beware: Characters in this story are entirely.umm.primitive and must be handled with caution. Nudity, profanities, exposure to stupidity, embarrassing sexual situations, saiyan mating calls and rituals, and a ton more of strange things will occur in this story.

Symptoms of Exposure: Outrageous outburst of uncontrollable laughter; laughter so hard that tearing of the eyes may occur. If these symptoms occur stop reading, take a brake, and then continue where you left off.

Disclaimer: Pepe and Typo hold no ownership of any Dragon Ball Z characters, except for Vegeta who's chained to our doghouse outside our home! ^_^ Just joking, we don't hold any ownership over anything other than the story line and the box we live in! Enjoy!!!

PLANET OF THE SAIYANS

Bulma finally made it back to her pod that night, and of course, when she got there, Vegeta was happily waiting for her. Bulma rolled her eyes in disgust as she walked past him and into her pod.

Vegeta's smile dropped like a dime. He had misled the horny group of Saiyans and escaped to get to the pod to make sure his angel was untouched and she just walked right past him! Definitely not what he had expected, but oh well. He shrugged his shoulders and sat down on his bed of leaves and ferns he had put together to sleep on.

Bulma, safe from nudity and embarrassment inside her pod, put her pajamas on; a black tank top and red silk pant. She crawled into bed swearing that she'd never come out of her pod again, or at least not until her rescue party arrived.

Day Two:

Bulma awoke with the sound of haunting hooting and hollering drifting through the morning air. She groaned intensively as she pushed herself out of bed and walked over to the nearest window. As the auto-blinds opened, Bulma screamed in pure shock. One of the men that Chichi said weren't worth mentioning had his face smeared up on her window. He had his mouth opened and was blowing on the glass making a disgusting farting sound. His cheeks were bloated with air as he blew; Bulma could see inside his entire mouth.

Bulma slammed the button to close the window. She heard the grunted yell of the man as the blinds surprised him. Bulma with all her fury screamed, "WOULD YOU ALL JUST LEAVE ME ALONE!" Then, all of a sudden she could hear slapping and thudding come from the outside of her pod and before she knew it the entire pod started to move, tipping in one direction. Bulma screamed as her pod began to roll over and she was tossed viciously around. She finally grabbed a doorframe to limit her tossing the best she could after about her third time going upside-down.

Outside the pod, the men were all pushing the pod toward the cave. They groaned and grunted as they shoved the spacecraft, but as soon as they picked up a rhythm they hit a slope and the pod started to roll by itself, faster than the men could keep up.

Bulma had lost the doorframe and was tossed so violently that she ended up in the flight room. She could feel the pod was going faster. much faster than it was supposed to. She screamed and screamed until she felt the pod stop. She grabbed her emergency bag and quickly opened the door.

She screamed once more when she fell out of the pod due to gravity and was dangling off the ramp door. Bulma saw that the pod had stopped on the edge of a cliff with two logs lodged in front of it, keeping it from careening over the edge. But she didn't have long as the logs began to slip out from under the pod. Bulma didn't believe "her protector" would have let this happen, so she screamed as high and loud as she could, "VEEGEEEEEEEEEEETTAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!". She was starting to slip and she hoped that if Vegeta couldn't save her, some one smart could.Chichi maybe?

The men had gone into fits of mayhem as they watched the scene in front of them. Some ran around in circles yelling and screaming as they watched the pod slowly roll farther forward as the logs gave out. While others were sitting on the ground pulling on their hair with wide eyes.

Vegeta, who had gone out to find his breakfast, was crouched over a huge banana grunting as if singing to it. He lifted his head when he heard a scream. His woman!!! He stuffed the very large banana into his mouth, making his cheeks puff out like a hamster. He started to bound from tree branch to tree branch, eating his breakfast on the way.

When he reached the ground he let out a war cry and ran on all fours. He ran even faster, if it's possible, when Bulma screamed again. As he bounded into the clearing, he gasped when he saw his woman dangling from the door of the pod. His eyes grew wide when she slipped and fell down the canyon.

Bulma was screaming as she plummeted down the canyon. During her fall she managed to grab a protruding root that seemed sturdy enough to hold her weight. She glanced up and saw Vegeta scrambling up to the cliff's edge, ignoring the other men that were still going crazy though some had stopped at the edge too. He looked down at her with worried eyes as he took in the sight of her grasping the root with all her life.

" Someone help me!!! HELP!!!!!!!" She bellowed out with uncontrollable anger.

Goku, who was watching at the edge, jumped back at the anger in her voice. She was m-a-d! Vegeta surveyed the situation and quickly came up with a rescue plan. He jumped down and turned around and backed onto the drop-off. He did a series of jumps and grabbing nooks as he made it down to Bulma in no time.

Bulma was ranting about being crashed landed on a primitive planet and how she was gonna kill her flight coordinator when she got out of here when Vegeta finally reached her. She then started to lecture him about where the hell was he this entire time and what took him so long to get here.

Vegeta fed up with all the ranting and raving, which he didn't understand a word the woman was saying, grabbed Bulma's hand and yanked her up onto his back. He began to work his way back up the cliff's edge, which wasn't all that much harder than going down except the little extra weight, grunting curses at the other tribe members.

Bulma had wrapped her arms around Vegeta's massive neck and gave up on cursing, it seemed to do nothing to help. When she was finally brought up onto the ground, Vegeta had pulled her around to the front of him and was holding her the romantic style.

Bulma was too mad to bother with him though. She scrambled on the ground as the men hooted and grunted with shyness and fear at the angered woman. She stood up slowly, sputtering and spitting. She started calmly, stating her recent proposal through clenched teeth. "If you brain dead MONKEYS would please be so kind as to leave me alone! I would greatly appreciate it. But now, noooo I don't even have a place to go, or stay, to get away from you!!!" But then an idea hit her. She dropped her emergency bag to the ground and started to fumble through it, looking for something of great importance.

Vegeta slowly walked up behind her as she searched through her bag cooing to her as if reassuring that it would be all right. Then he started to stroke her hair telling her it WAS okay. He was so happy that his little angel wasn't injured that nothing could ruin his mood.

Bulma jumped up and started cheering, "Yes! I knew I had some in here!" She turned to Vegeta. She looked into his concerned eyes and then she realized that he had just risked his life for her. She gave him a hug and a soft kiss on his lips then ran off in the direction of the cave.

She left the other men standing in the clearing scratching their heads. Vegeta glanced over at Radditz and started to smile a mischievous smile. Then he started to nod his head and put his hands up to motion boobs. "Ugga's" he smiled as he remembered the hug.

Radditz nodded too. Vegeta smacked Radditz in the back of his head for imagining HIS woman's "ugga's". Then Vegeta bounded after his lil' lady. By the time Vegeta got to the cave, Bulma had already told Chichi what happened and Chichi was standing there tapping her foot at the approaching Vegeta.

Vegeta, sensing he was being accused, started to grunt and snort trying to explain. He was getting all into it when Chichi just said, " Uh-huh. Sure ya did." Vegeta went on to protest with some serious grunts, but finally Bulma stepped in.

"It's okay Chichi, I managed to get my emergency bag before I fell out, it's got capsules in it." She said reassuringly. Chichi started to ask what a capsule was, but Bulma cut her off, knowing the question beforehand. "A capsule is. well, watch." She said.

Bulma pulled out a box and looked in and saw only one capsule that was shaped like a pill yet bigger. On it said "Hawaiian home."

"Better than nothing I guess." She shrugged to herself. She took it out and closed the box. She held the capsule in her open hand for Chichi and Vegeta to see. Then she closed her fist and pushed in the button. They heard some noises as Bulma threw it out to a clear spot beside the path.

Chichi and Vegeta jumped back when the capsule exploded and all they could see for a few seconds was dust. When the dust cleared they saw an odd shaped thing that Chichi assumed people like Bulma lived in. It had a little area attached to the front that wrapped around the "house." The roof looked as if straw had been just thrown on it, but Bulma assured that it was decoration; there was a real roof under it all.

By that time all the male Saiyans had arrived they were grunting and yelling to Chichi trying to explain themselves. Then Goku yelled (uhh!) and they all turned to look at the "new" odd-looking pod. Some reacted as if they thought it WAS the pod, but it had been flattened due to the wreck.

The Saiyans ran up to the house and started beating on it trying to push it too. Vegeta, still upset about their previous escapade, growled at them and they stopped immediately.

Chichi, after listening to what Goku had to say about the pod, walked up to Bulma to explain the men. "Goku said that they were going to bring your fallen star back here so you wouldn't be out there so alone, but it got a little out of hand, heh, just a little."

"It's ok. I guess. I mean, it's not like I could've flown it home. Trust me. if I could, I would've!" She smiled. "The only down side is that I lost my stuff, but my house has everything I need, food, shampoo, and clothes that are my size and everything!"

"Well, I'm glad you've got everything you need. I'm going to go help the ladies with lunch. they need help to gather fruits and things." Chichi said with a smile, glad that Bulma wasn't upset any more.

"Ok. Well, I'm just gonna go and find myself something to do. I need to calm my blood and get away from these guys." Bulma said with a slight laugh. At that, the two women took their leave and Bulma went into her house while Chichi walked into the forest.

The men just stood there, some staring into nothingville, others drooled idiotically. Then, as Bulma leaned against her door, she rolled her eyes as she heard the men give equal grunts and then run at each other, jumping in the air and slam into each other. "Ugh, uh, ah, eh!" She heard them cheer to each other.

Bulma went around her new house, observing all her rooms and "special features". She stopped in the bathroom and leaned against the doorframe mystified by the beautiful sight. A toilet. She was so lost in her daydream that she didn't notice right away that something was missing. the shower.

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO--[View switches to deep in the jungle, where we see a herd of "natural gorillas" stop their eating and look towards the sound confused] (gasp) -OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!! Bulma shrieked as her heart fell through the floorboards. "What's wrong this stupid house?!" Her voice turned stern and she clenched her teeth. "I KNOW that people in Hawaii use showers!" She sat slumped on the floor for a few minutes. Then she decided to get up and stop gloating on her problems.well main problem--no shower!

She went into her room and put on a bright red bikini with a little sash around the bottom part. She then got her beach equipment together. She packed her stuff in a snazzy bag that matched her bikini. She sighed as she walked out onto the porch and closed her door. Then LOCKED it.

Down at the lake she set everything up. She lay down on her beach towel after she took off her sash and put her headphones on. She was going to wait a few minutes before turning on the CD player to see if she had been followed.

Sure enough, after a few seconds of her tapping her foot like she was listening to music, she heard lustful moans and smacking of lips coming from the bushes behind her. She decided she'd play along.for the sake of science. She stood up and started dancing sexually--holding her CD player in one of her hands-- which only added to the sound effects coming from the bushes. Bulma stopped her teasing dance and took off her headphones. She set her CD player down and all got quiet.

Bulma walked down to the water. Horrid memories of last night came flooding back to her when she looked upon the murky water. She shuddered and shook the thoughts away. She waded into the water adjusting to the temperature. It was cool yet refreshing. She dunked under and came back up swing her long hair behind her. As she was ringing out her long, wavy blue hair, she tried to control her giggles as she heard more sounds come from the bushes.

Bulma was running her hands down her body teasing the peeping toms when she saw a reed pipe that had been cut off, float by her. She could hear heavy breathing coming from it. It stopped in front of her a few feet away. She giggled as she started to rock her hips into yet another little dance.

Bulma could hear grunts and "uhh's" coming from the pipe. She finally stopped dancing and put her finger on top of the pipe. Huge bubbles came to the surface and soon Vegeta followed, gasping for breath.

Vegeta looked at her and smiled his little mischievous grin. Then he moved in closer. One arm snaked around her small waste, pulling her to him. Vegeta looked at her red bikini top with a distant sparkle in his eyes and a smirk on his lips. Bulma yelled as he grabbed her boob and said "ugga's", fondling it as he did it. Vegeta released the mound of flesh and ran onto the beach cheering victory grunts and hollers. The men all came out chanting "Ugga-Ugga-Ugga!" Vegeta was honored by smacks and head butts.

Bulma sighed and walked onto the beach, past the celebrating men. When they saw her they started chanting louder. A few motioned to each other the "Ugga's" sign.

Vegeta was hooting and whooping in the center of the excitement as Bulma got her things together and started back to her house. Just then an idea hit her. She turned and looked at the group of men all bunched up right in front of the water on one of the wooden docks. An evil grin spread across her face as she dropped all her belongings and charged at the men making her own gorilla yells.

Radditz saw Bulma coming at them and tried to yell a warning, but it was too late. Bulma slammed into the group sending them all careening into the water; her included. They yelled and grunted after they surface, splashing around trying to find the one responsible for this mess.

Bulma swam away from the group, resurfacing at the bank and hid behind a bush. She crouched behind the plant and then ripped it up to use as camouflage. Bulma waddled all the way back to the path and grabbed the things she dropped. She saw one Saiyan motion toward the bush, but Vegeta just waved his hand as if saying, "Aww that's just a bush."

Bulma tiptoed back to her house. She disposed of her bush, giggling as she walked up the steps of the porch and into her house. "Well, at least they had a bath before dinner!" she laughed to herself.

Out Takes:

* When she was finally brought up onto the ground, Vegeta had pulled her around to the front and was holding her the romantic style. The men were all cheering and lifting their arms to celebrate the success. Vegeta raised his arms and let out a huge holler. * (While also letting Bulma fall to the ground) * Thud * Vegeta slowly looks down with his arms still raised. Vegeta: "Ahem.you ok?" (Bulma reaches behind boulder and grabs Chichi's frying pan.) Bulma (sarcastically): " Oh, yes dear" * Vegeta starts to running in the other direction just as Bulma takes off after him * Bulma (voice fading with distance): "You dropped me? How do you drop someone you just saved?!!...."

He was so happy that his little angel was ok that nothing could ruin his mood. Radditz's face twisted up as his gas seeped out in a long deep "buuuuurrrrnnnttt" * Vegeta looks up from Bulma's hair and gives Radditz a disgusted look * Vegeta: "You ruined the moment!!! Did you NOT hear the nice romantic music and the narrator's words?!!!"

*Vegeta looked at her and smiled his little mischievous grin. Then he moved in closer. One arm snaked around her small waste, pulling her to him. Vegeta looked at her red bikini top with a distant sparkle in his eyes and a smirk on his lips. Bulma yelled as he grabbed her boob and said "ugga's", fondling it as he did it. He then ripped it off and tackled her into the water* Bulma: "VEGETA!!!" (Bulma blushes as Vegeta nibbles her ear) Vegeta: (says in sexy tone) "Lets have some fun, shale we?" Director: "CUT!!!!!"

Author Notes

Naughty Vegeta . hehe! Poor Bulma.but it seems that she's having more fun with the Saiyan tribe now! Well that's all of this chapter! Well review and tell us what you think. Bye, bye now! *waves hands* ^.^