Warning: This fiction was created by the twisted minds of Pepe Lepew and Kinky Typo. Both of these writers have been notified as highly insane and their stories have been labeled as "outrageously hilarious" and "highly idiotic."

Beware: Characters in this story are entirely.umm.primitive and must be handled with caution. Nudity, profanities, exposure to stupidity, embarrassing sexual situations, saiyan mating calls and rituals, and a ton more of strange things will occur in this story.

Symptoms of Exposure: Outrageous outburst of uncontrollable laughter; laughter so hard that tearing of the eyes may occur. If these symptoms occur stop reading, take a brake, and then continue where you left off.

Disclaimer: Pepe and Typo hold no ownership of any Dragon Ball Z characters, except for Vegeta who's chained to our doghouse outside our home! ^_^ Just joking, we don't hold any ownership over anything other than the story line and the box we live in! Enjoy!!!

PLANET OF THE SAIYANS

Day Three

Bulma groaned when she heard tapping on her front door. She sat up in a sitting position, her novel that was splayed out on her stomach went careening to the floor. She yawned and stretched her arms, then plopped back down onto the sofa. Bulma was about to try to go back to sleep but the light knocking became pounding and it was really starting to piss her off.

"OKAY! I'm coming. . .jeeze!" Bulma yelled out as she swung her legs off the side of the couch and marched over to the front door. She unlocked the door and swung it open not even thinking of who could be on the other side.

"Oh no! Not you!!!" Bulma cried out at the sight of the young boy grinning up at her. "Leave me alone!" She screamed as she tried slamming the door but she was too slow, the little pervert slipped in through just in time. Bulma watched Gohan leisurely pimp walk to the couch and plop down. He then leaned lazily forward towards to coffee table and grabbed the bowl of chips.

"Hey you little punk! Those are mine." Bulma yelled as Gohan began stuffing his mouth full with chips. Bulma ran over to the little thief and snatched the bowl of potato chips from his grasp. She shot him a dirty look before stuffing a handful of the chips into her own mouth.

Gohan stood up, put his little hands on his hips and glared back at her. "You know, you better start being a lot nicer to me if you want my help!" he said to Bulma as he snatched the bowl back from her.

"What?!!" Bulma yelled as she raised an eyebrow at the snotty little kid with a mighty big ego. "I don't need your stinking help! Why would you ever think I'D need YOUR help?!!" Bulma screeched as she snatched the bowl back, continuing the game of practically tug of war. Bulma winced as the chips exploded from their container and flew all over them and the floor.

Bulma slowly brushed the potato droppings off her shoulders and picked them out of her hair. She didn't say a word to the kid in front of her because she knew it wouldn't be pretty, although she did manage to shoot daggers from her eyes at him. Gohan laughed as he watched Bulma drop to the floor and attempt to pick up the chips. Bulma stopped mid-action and looked up at Gohan in thought.

"You pick them up, retard." She said smugly but her smug expression didn't last long when Gohan's statement reoccurred to her. "Wait." She stopped him in his approach to the potato chip covered floor. "What did you mean by me needing your help, or were you just being a smart-ass?" She inquired slyly.

Gohan grinned up at Bulma, his eyebrows twitching with an evil glint. "Hmmm, I dunno. I guess you'll just find out tonight." He smiled coolly and giggled to himself as he started for the door. Bulma moved so fast, Gohan never saw it happen. She was in front of the door before Gohan had even taken a step towards it.

"What-does-that-mean?" Bulma asked with wide eyes. She was leaning against the door and slightly bent over, trying to catch her breath. Her hair was frazzled from her two-second flight. She looked at Gohan once more with hopeful eyes. "Please tell me your joking, or it's just something simple like proper eating habits or whatever." Bulma dropped to her knees and looked at Gohan with pleading eyes.

"I'm surprised mommy didn't tell you already, I mean, it IS tonight." Gohan said thoughtfully to himself yet loud enough for Bulma to hear. He patted Bulma on the head in mock sympathy and tried to peel her off the door.

"WHAT'S tonight??!!" She yelled as her eyes widened to the point of no return. "What the hell is going on,-spit it out Gohan!!"

Gohan sighed and slid down to the floor to look the pathetic, stranded, lost little girl in the eyes. "Hehe! Tonight's the night of the annual mating season, in which, you will take part in because it is a part of the saiyan law. Anyone who inhabits Prince Vegeta's lands is required to attend the ritual. Tonight, the males will court their mate for the next month or if they're not mated yet, they'll choose their mate. . . which will be theirs for the rest of their life."

Bulma stared blankly into nowhere as the visions of the future evening raced through her brain. She didn't even have to hesitate in guessing who Vegeta would pick as his mate. . . What was she to do? Gohan said because her house was next to the cave, she'd be forced to be there for the ritual.

"I know! I'll move out into the woods--just for a few nights, then when this whole ritual is over, and all the mates have been chosen, I'll come back! It's the perfect plan!" Bulma's eyes looked crazed as they darted about the house, filled with her desperate plan of survival.

Gohan shook his head at Bulma's insane state and had a mental war about whether or not he should tell her more. "No Lady Bulma, even if you go out into the woods, you will have had to have lived there for at least two weeks to be considered an inhabitant. . . sorry."

Bulma's entire eye began to twitch slowly as the words Gohan had just said soaked into her brain. Well, more like, they burned into her brain. Basically, in a translation, this is what Gohan said, according to Bulma.

"No escape. . . You'll be forced to be flashed by a dozen or more naked males as they run around in circles fighting over the female they want to screw every night for the next month. Then, most likely the most horny of them all, will choose you, and you'll be his sex slave for the next month and not to mention tied to him for the rest of your miserable, pathetic life."

"No. No. No, this can't be happening." Bulma stared in shock. "Gohan, there's GOT to be a way I can get out of this. I can't do this. PLEASE!"

Gohan looked around as he tried to think of anything that could help her out; she DID seem pretty desperate. "Look, I'm sorry, but as far as I know, there's nothing you can do. You can talk to mommy to see if she knows anything. . .but I doubt there's any options. . ."

Gohan wedged himself between Bulma and the door. He braced himself as he pushed Bulma away from his precious escape route. He was thankful that the shock of all she was just told was still settling in.

Bulma was still frozen in place with a face of horror. She slid across the floor in frozen animation as Gohan huffed and puffed pushing her away from his ONLY escape.

"Get. Your. Mother." Bulma said through gritted teeth as her horror- stricken face faded and was filled with pure, all out rage.

Gohan managed a quick nod before he bounded out the door and away to safety. Oh boy was she mad! He'd have to be careful around her for a while. . . at least until she calmed down. A sly grin spread across his cute face at the thought of tonight's events. He couldn't wait to see her naked again.

AUTHOR'S NOTE: Hello there ^_^! Pepe Lepew and Kinky Typo here! Well there's another chapter of "Planet of the Saiyans" *echoes off wall* ...okay that's umm . . . weird. . .anyway how did you like that chappie? As we said many times before *clears throat* poor, poor, poor Bulma-chan. But what's going to happen next? The annual mating season is coming up and she is still stuck on the weird, saiyan-infested planet. Will she survive? Will she hold on to her last strain of sanity.or will she lose herself and become one of the tribe. . .review please! ^_~

Oh and I [Kinky Typo] want to add an extra thanks to Yugi!!!! *grins* Yugi has reviewed every single chapter to this. . . umm. . . story and has won Pepe's and my heart. We love Yugi!!!! *starts to chant* Yugi, Yugi, Yugi, Yugi!!!!!