Warning: This fiction was created by the twisted minds of Pepe Lepew and Kinky Typo. Both of these writers have been notified as highly insane and their stories have been labeled as "outrageously hilarious" and "highly idiotic."

Beware: Characters in this story are entirely.umm.primitive and must be handled with caution. Nudity, profanities, exposure to stupidity, embarrassing sexual situations, saiyan mating calls and rituals, and a ton more of strange things will occur in this story.

Symptoms of Exposure: Outrageous outburst of uncontrollable laughter; laughter so hard that tearing of the eyes may occur. If these symptoms occur stop reading, take a brake, and then continue where you left off.

Disclaimer: Pepe and Typo hold no ownership of any Dragon Ball Z characters, except for Vegeta who's chained to our doghouse outside our home! ^_^ Just joking, we don't hold any ownership over anything other than the story line and the box we live in! Enjoy!!!

PLANET OF THE SAIYANS

Bulma sat silently in the midst of chaos. Saiyan females scurried around her, trying to get ready for the starting events for the ritual. Yet Bulma didn't move from her spot on the cave floor. She stared blankly ahead of her, not the least bit interested in what was going on around her.

Bulma had talked to Chichi shortly after her little time with Gohan, in hope that somehow she could miss the ritual for. . . umm. . .family matters on the moon. . .but Chichi would have none of it. Chichi lectured her on and on about the importance of having a mate and that she WAS going to attend this ritual. Bulma had been scared shitless by Chichi's threats that she quickly agreed to participate in this forward, sexual escapade.

"For the sake of science."Bulma whispered to herself as she watched the unmated women be herded, by the already mated ones, into a large tub of hot water to bathe. She thanked God, not that He was listening, that she had taken a shower ALONE before she came here.

"For the sake of science." Bulma said boldly to herself. Yeah that was right, this was for the sake of science. Bulma smiled lopsidedly at her own prep-talk. Yeah! This whole thing was for scientific data.and besides she hadn't had a good lay in a long, LONG time.

Bulma's insane happiness was short lived when a large shove was given to her from behind. She fell off her stool and onto the dirt floor of the cave. Her eyes shot up to see her assaulter. It was a female saiyan, the same female that Vegeta had growled at for trying to take food two nights before.

The girl's dark, black eyes glared at Bulma as she strutted by. Her long black hair swished in beat with the swaying of her hips. The girl dropped her animal skin robe and climbed into the bathing tub with all the other women who were laughing their asses off at what had happened to Bulma. The girl gave a victory smirk before turning her back to Bulma and conversing with her friends.

Bulma gritted her teeth together. If it hadn't been for Chichi's quick appearance Bulma would of giving the little tramp a piece of her mind-more like fist. Chichi helped Bulma to her feet and ushered Bulma to one of the many tiny curtained off 'dressing rooms' in the cave.

In the tiny room with animal skin curtains was a wooden stool, brushes and combs (made out of bone), and some sort of clothing.

Chichi sat the fuming and hissing Bulma onto the stool. She took Bulma's long blue hair out of its scrunchy and began brushing it in her palm. Bulma just huffed while she crossed her legs and arms, pouting all the while.

"Don't be mad at Mya, she's a little. . . protective towards Prince Vegeta." Chichi said softly in her motherly voice as she continued to comb through Bulma's hair.

"I don't see why she'd be 'protective' over him. I'm not a threat towards him." Bulma grumbled angrily at the thought that SHE'D hurt Vegeta. She hated to admit, but she did have feelings towards the big monkey and she even went as far to say that he was attractive.in an animalistic way.

"She's not really worried that you'd hurt our Prince. She's more worried that he'd choose you as a mate instead of her. For as long as I can remember she's been stalking the poor man." Chichi shook her head sadly as a mental picture of Mya hiding behind a bush watching the un-expecting Vegeta take a leek.

Bulma's eyes began to glitter with a crazed, evil glint. A wicked smirk crossed her porcelain face as a revenge plan began to roll out in her twisted mind. She'd get Vegeta to mate with her and rub it in to that psycho slut's face that he chose HER.

Bulma would of started cackling like a witch at the thought of vengeance but one little thing ruined it. . .she'd be bound to Vegeta for the rest of her life. It was saiyan custom and tradition-which Chichi painfully kept reminding her in their little discussion after her talk with Gohan.

Bulma's shoulders slumped with the thought that she'd be stuck on this god- forsaken planet forever and never see beautiful, Capsule Corp. again. She sighed heavily in depression. She could always beat the shit out of Mya. Her shoulders straightened a little at that thought. But it wouldn't be painful enough. Bulma wanted Mya to know that she *beep* with the wrong person and that hell was to pay.

"Chichi?" Bulma waited for her friend to acknowledge her.

"Yes Bulma?"

"Does Vegeta like Mya? I mean, does he know that she likes him?" Bulma asked childishly, her bare feet scrapping at the floor.

"Prince Vegeta has a big ego.not to mention that he IS Prince and he IS handsome..." Chichi's voice trailed off the subject for a second but she quickly came back to reality, "he believes every female wants him. But it seems to me that he's oblivious to any other woman BUT you." Chichi smiled down at Bulma, her dark brown eyes sparkling.

All of a sudden a loud whistle blew. The sound rang out through the entire cave. Through the curtains, Bulma and Chichi could hear mass chaos of squealing, screeching females.

"Oh, no!" Chichi gasped. "We're late! Quick Bulma, get dressed, FAST!" Chichi cried out in exasperation. "I have to go help the other girls. Dress and then come line up against the wall with all the others, then you'll be put into teams."

"Teams! What the hell is this? A TV show?!" Bulma screamed at Chichi's retreating back before rushing over to the pile of clothes. She lifted the animal skin clothing and fumbled with them for a moment before throwing them down and stomping up and down on them.

"How the hell do you put this on!" She cried as she jumped on the pile of rags. She then froze solid. Why in the world was she getting upset about this? Wasn't she the one who didn't CARE about this stupid ritual thing? She looked at the animal skins under her feet and then a thought came across her. She mentally hugged herself for being a genius.

Bulma peeped her head out of the curtains, her eyes wondering around the chaotic situation that all the un-mated females were going through. Finally her eyes found what she was looking for-Gohan. He sat quietly in the opposite corner with his arms crossed over his chest and a pout on his face.

Bulma called quietly for the little guy but obviously he couldn't hear her over the ruckus that all the other women were making. After a few more tries, Bulma picked up a clump of dirt and chucked it at Gohan. Contact. The boy's angry eyes shot up, but when he noticed it was Bulma his eyes softened and a goofy grin crossed his face. He quickly stood up and ran to her.

"Gohan, I need you to do something for me." Bulma said in a whisper looking down at him. A sly look came to his eyes as he looked up at her. Bulma instantly knew that this favor wouldn't be out of the kindness of his heart. . .she'd have to do something for him. "I want you to go to my house and on the coffee table there is a case labeled capsule clothes. Could you go get it for me?" Bulma continued to ask even though she knew that it wouldn't be a freebie.

"All right. . . Bulma. . ." Gohan voice was as slippery as a snake, "I'll do this for you. . .if you'll do something for me." He grinned coldly, his eyes sparkling with an evil, sadistic glint. "What. . ." Bulma asked warily. She stepped back into the curtained off room when he stepped towards her. His smile grew larger, if it was even possible, as he pointed to her chest. Bulma's cheeks turned red when she finally realized what he wanted.

"Listen here you little pervert! There's no way that I'm going to flash your little ass!!!" Bulma yelled at the grinning boy. Gohan just shrugged, the sly look still on his face as he turned his back to her.

"Fine. . .just forget about your capsules then. . ." Gohan trailed off as he started to open the curtain to leave.

"Wait! If I do this do you swear that you'll go get my case?" Bulma asked sincerely. She watched as Gohan quickly turned back towards her, nodding feverishly. She sighed and mentally kicked herself for what she was about to do, but she NEEDED those clothes so she could win against Mya. God she wished that she'd put on a bra after her bath.

With one great swoosh she pulled her shirt up, exposing herself to the fullest. Gohan's eyes went as wide as dinner plates as he beheld the awe powering sight. He began to teeter on his feet but was ripped out of heaven when Bulma's shirt came back down and her voice boomed as she pointed to the curtain exit, "NOW GO!!!"

Gohan nodded hurriedly and took off at a dead run towards Bulma's capsule house. He nearly knocked three people over in his haste, all the time thinking about how beautiful Bulma was.

AUTHORS NOTES:

The little pervert *shakes fist at Gohan*. . .but you got to give him credit. . .he's a helpful, sneaky little perve. Oh my! O.o What does Bulma have planned? Mwhahahahahahah!!! Find out next time on "Planet of the Saiyans" but first review. Even if you want to flame our [Pepe and I] asses off.go ahead!!! We'll see you next time! Bye ^_^