Title: Strangers with Candy

Summary: The Acolytes attempt to gain new members into their supreme team by kidnapping Xavier's new recruits. Unfortunately, this does not go very well.

Disclaimer: I really wish I owned the Acolytes, really. Especially John, who I love more than I can possibly say. However, I don't. If you think I do, I want what you're on really bad. Maybe whatever your on will make me think I own John, and if you can't have it, you can always think you do. What a lame motto I live by

Notes: This Fic was written exclusively by Mai of gonewiththepixiestix, in other words, please don't kill Tearra because you hate it. On that note, don't kill me either.

Notes2: THANK YOU REVIEWERS, COOKIES TO ALL WHO REVIEW! YAY!

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Magneto had not been happy to find Rahne duct taped to a wall, he had not been happy at all. After a very long war between cats and dogs AKA Sabortooth and Wolfsbane, the other acolytes had settled it all out by duct taping Rahne to a wall, and making Sabortooth go outside with a large supply of ground beef. But the fact remained that the house was in shambles, and Rahne was duct taped to a wall.

"I leave you idiots alone for three minutes, and the couch is in shreds!" Magneto yelled loudly, "You are the most incapable morons on the planet, why is my newest recruit duct taped to a wall? Do you know how hard it will be to gain her trust now?"

Remy whimpered, "Mr. Boss Man, Remy be so sorry. He tried, really, but dey where too fast for him!"

Magneto looked confused, "What? Who was too fast?"

Remy frowned, he hadn't planned on the boss questioning his reason, so he made something up spur of the moment, "De aliens," he said, and nodded.

Magneto slapped his own forehead with his hand, "You go to your room.." he said, and turned to his other two acolytes.

John was picking his nose, he stopped when Piotr slapped him, "Uh oh, sorry," St. John said quickly.

Magneto sighed, this was his team of mutants that where supposed to kill all humans? It was pathetic! He walked over to where Rahne was watching, still stuck to a wall, and tore the tape off. Rahne fell to the floor, getting up quickly.

"What de ye be wanting with me?" she asked, "Let me go back home."

Magneto rolled his eyes, he was having a bad day and to top it off, this girl was as slow as molasses, "Look, your on the Acolytes now," he said to the Scottish mutant.

Rahne's jaw dropped open, "No, I'm a XmanXgirl," she said.

Magneto shrugged, "Your room is between Piotr and John's, but be careful, John snores like a lawn mower."

Rahne appeared to be in a state of shock.

John was watching all this from the opposite side of the room, "I do not snore like a lawn mower," he yelled.

Magneto didn't even bother to respond he simply pressed a hand to his forehead and wearily trudged upstairs. Piotr came out of the kitchen; he had wandered off for a sandwich while the boss was explaining to the girl. In his left hand he held a huge sandwich, in his right, the TV remote. He had hidden it in the freezer after Sabortooth and Rahne had gotten to the point in their war where they had been claiming territory and taking over lands. He watched as John repeatedly poked Rahne, who wasn't moving.

"I think the shelia died," he said.

Piotr shrugged, and sat down on the shredded mess everyone was calling a couch.

_____

Upstairs Remy was going through magazines and making all the female models' hair brown with white streaks, he was also adding dark makeup with his crayons. After making Paris Hilton look sufficiently like Rogue, Remy sighed dreamily, and snapped his magazine shut. He put the magazine under his bed, and shuffled his deck of cards lazily. Tomorrow they would go 'recruit' new members, maybe this time they wouldn't have to wait for seven hours.

Gambit sat up; he wondered what Rogue was doing now. She was probably done from Danger Room, and arguing with the ditzy roommate of hers, or making fun of the red head telepath. But he wanted to know for sure.

In the past, stalking Rogue had gotten Remy in trouble. But this meant nothing to the Cajun mutant. After all, what was true love.. Obsession compared to following rules and not being given extra chores? Nothing of course! So Remy grinned slyly to himself, the grin made him look all the sexier.

He walked over to the window, and easily popped it open. He couldn't get caught. There was an escape ladder nearby; actually, they're where tons of escape ladders everywhere. This was because the compound caught fire on a regular basis, as in, at least once a day. Remy slid over to the escape ladder, and lowered himself down.

He smiled cockily with satisfaction, and walked over to his motorcycle. He just knew Rogue was in trouble and needed him to save her, don't worry Rogue, Remy's coming! Gambit smiled, and started the motorcycle.

__________

If we wander back over to where John, Piotr and Rahne where AKA the living room, you'll see Piotr sitting on the 'couch' watching Powerpuff Girls, Rahne recovering from her sudden team switch, and John playing with his lighter. St.John's lighter, who's name was Allison, was his best friend. Allison and him had been together for a long time; she was the only one who understood him. He ran a finger down her shiny metallic side affectionately, and wondered why real girls weren't like this.

Piotr watched his Australian friend quizzically; there was something seriously wrong with that one. Maybe now that they had the Scottish girl, there would be another sane person on the team. Because, though Remy could be sane sometimes, many other times he seemed a bit off his rocker. And Victor was most definitely not sane; there was no way. He sighed, thinking of Victor. Having both the Scottish girl and him in the same compound might be hard. Somehow, this lead him to wonder why all of Magneto's Acolytes were foreigners, did he not like Americans or something? Seriously!

Rahne frowned; she was trying to think of how to escape. There just had to be a way. Though a few of her kidnappers didn't seem all to bright, like the redhead who was licking his lighter, they where violent and evil enough to make up for it. She sighed, and sat down on the shredded couch next to Piotr.